Chuck Woolery 0 Report post Posted April 5, 2005 (edited) The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents... SWF STORM, FRIDAY, APRIL 8TH, LIVE FROM THE BUTTE NATIONAL FOREST IN BUTTE, MONTANA! (8:00pm EST, 5:00pm PST; check local listings) The Setup: In the middle of Butte National Forest, there is a small circular clearing. In the middle of this clearing will be a ring. Where the normal barriers would be, there will be a rope tied to some trees to make sure the audience (probably 200 people) can't interfere. To reinforce the rope, Mr. Bukkake will be in attendance as the security guard. You've been warned. Opening Promo: Toxxic MAIN EVENT SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP The Insane Luchadore (SWF Hardcore Champion) v. JJ Johnson -> Only YOU can prevent forest fires. In the same vein, fiery new competitor JJ Johnson is 2-0 and turning heads in the SWF's front office. In equally the same vein, Insane Luchadore is about to get fired, as he hasn't been on any shows since last week's Storm, where he pulled out a victory over Arch Griffon to retain the Hardcore title. Against JJ Johnson in the middle of the forest, can IL turn tricks twice? Rules: None. Word Limit: 5500 Marker: chirs3 TWO ON TWO MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez v. Johnny Dangerous and "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke -> Johnny made some... unflattering comments towards Todd Cortez in his opening promo slot, prompting at least one member of SWFCC to get really pissed and change his MSN screenname to "[email protected]". Hawke also had some unkind words for Cortez, but his had some meaning behind them, as Hawke defeated Cortez a couple weeks back to secure his spot in the finals of the SWF Belt tournament. Furthermore, Johnny Dangerous is the man who defeated Hawke to become the new SWF International Champion. And finally, Landon and Johnny have never been on good terms. With so much bad blood in this match, it's liable to EXPLODE~... in the woods! Rules: None. Tags are unnecessary as well. Word Limit: 5500 Marker: Chuck Woolery HOUSE RULES MATCH BUTTE DEATH MATCH Lil' Buck v. "The Critic" Scott Pretzler -> Pretzler, fresh off a loss to Wildchild for the Cruiserweight championship, is probably out for blood, while Lil' Buck is still celebrating his victory on Smarkdown. Tonight, the iced-out Buck and the iced feet of Pretzler meet inthe House Rules stip... oooh, interesting. Rules: Only you can prevent forest fires, right? Well, for the moment let's pretend that Lil' Buck and Pretzler are on fire. How would you put them out? By throwing them into the pond that's conveniently located about 1/4 of a mile from the wrestling ring! But instead of having to wrestle in a ring, they'll be wrestling on the small, 10ft by 10ft island in the middle of the pond. No ropes, nothing, just two guys on a grassy island. First person to hit the water loses. The crowd will be moved to around the pond for this match; entrances will be done via airlift. Word Limit: 5000 Marker: Dace59 HARDCORE OPENER Ejiro Fasaki v. Arch Griffon -> Ejiro is currently in MHA: Memphis Heels Anonymous. He's being taught how not to cheat, lie, and steal. Poor guy. Anyway, as Storm is the HARDCORE show, we figured we'd let Fasaki have a chance to regress in his MHA treatment, and who better to do it against than the man who came up short against Insane Luchadore last Storm, Arch Griffon? Rules: None. Word Limit: 4500 Marker: Ace309 Edited April 6, 2005 by chirs3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angel_Grace_Blue 0 Report post Posted April 5, 2005 Damn right, because Lil' Buck gets it crunk! Speaking of which, I just realized after writing that match, Buck needs a nickname. Dare I steal Lil' Jon's and call Buck the King of Crunk? I don't know, as stealing is wrong. CRUNKIFIED! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted April 5, 2005 Opening promo is mine. If anyone REALLY wants it then PM me so I can laugh at you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted April 5, 2005 Dear Johnny Dangerous: I live in Britain. If you send me a PM that gets to me at 12:52 AM, then I will not be awake to get it in time. Thus, that's why I wasn't involved in the opening promo. Please take note. Sincerely, Me. EDIT: Did my Smarkdown promo get through to you Chuck? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted April 5, 2005 Tell me about it Landon. Insomnia is a wonderful thing... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Ill One 0 Report post Posted April 5, 2005 But I needed that week to recover from the oh-so brutal Gift Shop Brawl! Well once the rest of the card gets posted- good luck to all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted April 5, 2005 For the record, I'm leaving for Vegas on the 12th, so this is likely going to be the last show I'm available to be booked for in the next couple of weeks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JJ Johnson 0 Report post Posted April 5, 2005 Can Johnson capture his first piece of SWF gold???????? Yeah, Insanity. That match was brutal. Didn't someone get stabbed with a model of the Space Needle? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toshiaki Koala 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 That's not a joke, right? I mean, the Butte Death Match is for real, no? If so... delightful! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Goodear Report post Posted April 6, 2005 So Ejiro's not cheating (as much) but is in a match with no rules... so should he cheat in order to follow the rules? QUE PASA? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JJ Johnson 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 Lil' Buck is still celebrating his victory on Storm. Yay, I found an error. He won on Smarkdown. He has yet to compete on Storm. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 Lil' Buck is still celebrating his victory on Storm. Yay, I found an error. He won on Smarkdown. He has yet to compete on Storm. No, he's competed on Storm... ... in the future. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JJ Johnson 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 So...he's a time travelling gangsta wrestler? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angel_Grace_Blue 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 Fo' shizzle Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Secret Agent 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 What the heck? Why is Johnny teaming with a heel? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 From what I could tell recently, Johnny seems like a heel... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 What the heck? Why is Johnny teaming with a heel? Because I asked for a Tag Title shot (again), but DubCee isn't available. So I asked for a tag match involving you anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Secret Agent 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 From what I could tell recently, Johnny seems like a heel... He's done nothing heelish really. Badmouthing people is all hes done, and no more than what face Landon Maddix does. If I ever decide to turn him heel it will be something well known about. Like if you ever decide to turn face I'm sure it would be a big thing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 SO Johnny, win the match, then kick your partner's arse. He's a heel, so it's all good because unprovoked violence towards heels is excusable. I'd like to add that Mike is insane for that island match. Or a gun. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 From what I could tell recently, Johnny seems like a heel... He's done nothing heelish really. Badmouthing people is all hes done, and no more than what face Landon Maddix does. If I ever decide to turn him heel it will be something well known about. Like if you ever decide to turn face I'm sure it would be a big thing. Bad mouthing four of the top faces of the company isn't heelish? ...... *looks at watch* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 Johnny's not a heel, no. On the other hand, Hawke and Dangerous have some history as opponents, and so while it's not logical booking in the Hayhurstian jurisprudence's sense of the term, it falls under the "Wacky tag partners who hate each other" exemption under 13 S.W.F. Booking Law 2803, "Proper tag-team booking (§ 15)." It also qualifies for the "Weird Stipulation Exemption" under 2803 § 17 (the "Danny Williams provision"), which provides in relevant part that in stipulations where all partners are in the ring at once, and where violence against a tag team partner is equally likely as violence against the opponent, grudging working-together is the proper means by which to convey the team property of the two independent wrestlers, and that failure to do this fails to qualify as "proper ring psychology" under 1 S.W.F. Booking Law § 1 ("Terms, Definitions and Ways to Screw With Johnny"). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angel_Grace_Blue 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 So this island, is it sturdy, or is it liable to float around the pond? CRUNKASAURUS COMIN' AT CHA! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 It also falls under 2803 § 24 ("Try Defending Your Belt Once In A While"), which states that when you're the Tag Team Champions but have a reason not to defend them on numerous occasions, be it stipulatory or absent...ory, you get what's coming to you. What the hell does "§" mean anyway, Tom? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Secret Agent 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 It's not like we've ever said we won't defend the tag belt! We defend them whenever we get booked to defend them, Landon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 Landon, go to your room. Johnny, it's not polite to fight back. You're both going to bed without your supper tonight. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Secret Agent 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 &%$#!! See what you cost me, Maddix! Thank's alot!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 Well, since the match already has the wacky Russo "Enemies teaming" bit, why not have Johnny defend his half of the tag titles in the match, and anyone, including his own partner, is eligible to pin him. Ratings baby. Ratings. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 Well, since the match already has the wacky Russo "Enemies teaming" bit, why not have Johnny defend his half of the tag titles in the match, and anyone, including his own partner, is eligible to pin him. Ratings baby. Ratings. Not trying to take advantage of a situation here, are you? BTW, has anybody noticed the subject header lists the date of Storm as 4-8-04? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted April 6, 2005 In which case I'll take out Landon before the show and enter as Zack's mystery partner, then pin Johnny and win his half of the belts because more gold on Toxxic = even more ratings. I'll then drop a caravan on Spike, then tie Mak down and play Dace's record collection at him until his eardrums melt. Then I'll set fire to Montana. Then I'll kill Santa. Can you say TOP HEEL~!? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
