Confessions from a TRUE Player

[Guest Eddie Winslow]

This is where I will share my inner most thoughts on things happening in my life.

 

 

Well last night I was out trying to score a piece of ass from this lady I just met. Her name was Chevonnda or Rhonda I don't remember. Too much drinking afterward. We went out to dinner at a nice place. Everything was going well. Then we decided to go to see a movie. We went to see Dukes of Hazzard. Big FUCKING mistake there. That movie sucked fucking shit! Needless to say my date wasn't impressed. Obviously she was into me before the movie but after it was over I felt like she was not into me as much. It had to be that fucking movie. It was shit! PURE FUCKING SHIT!! I demand my money back. That think cost me some sure sexual activity. Damn it. Oh well, the lady might have been turned off when I forgot her name. But really does that matter? She's just a chick. Her name isn't important. Even if I would have remembered her name and have scored I probably would have slipped up and called her Harriette while going to town on her. Well, she wasn't that hot anyways. I probably wouldn't have been able to get it up for her ugly dog faced self. That fucking Willie Nelson ruined it for me though. Old near dead bastard. Who even cares about that guy. The crap he makes isn't even music. You can't get laid to that shit. Trust me. I've tried. You want to get sexed play some Lil' Scrappy or Young Buck. The ladies enjoy grinding to that! If I woudl have known that some gay white guy named Willie was going to be in that movie I would have picked something better like Hustle and Flow.

 

 

Players tip: Chicks dig being called other names that aren't there's during sexual activity.

[tekcop 0]

I will now masturbate furiously.

[Paul Stanley 0]

Work.

[iggymcfly 0]

Work.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

NO WAY!

 

Next thing, you'll tell me that Matt Hardy was under contract when he came out of the crowd and attacked Edge.

[Boon 0]

This gimmick sucks.

[Guest Eddie Winslow]

This gimmick sucks.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

That's it motherfucker. It's motherfuckers like this Boon piece of shit that cause people like me to get fucking pissed off and start punching people in the head. This shit is legit bitch. I'm sick of your shit. You've fucking talked shit about my family 3 times. I've had enough. I'm not going to sit here and let you discredit my street rep in this place. I gave you a player tip and you just sat there and disregarded it. Why? Cause yo ass isn't getting anyone to go down on your 75 pound nerdy geek penis. You are fuckign worthless damn it. I hate fuckers like you. I punched a gas station attendant in the mouth last week for doing less to me. Mother fucker shorted me some change so he fucking got it. And so are you mother fucker!! You're an ungrateful son of a bitch. If you would have simply asked me a question about why I am so much better than you and how come a true black stud like me gets tons of pussy every night, than I would have been kind to a poor unsex getting fruit like yourself and gave you the advice. Instead you sit there and laugh in the face of reason. Don't talk shit about my dad again mother fucker. If I even seen you say Carl, Harriette, or Laura's name again you are going to rue the god damn fucking day your mother shit you out. And god damn it upload an avatar. Are you fucking Rick Flair begging for mercy not to get kicked in your one usless testicle. Give it up Boon.

[snuffbox 0]

You forgot to give us our player's tip...

[Guest news_gimmick]

I'm so numb without it.

[Guest Eddie Winslow]

Well now, lets get this thread back on track. For the time being the Emo Twins have run off like scolded dogs and I can get back to where I left off.

 

The other night me and my dad were installing a sattelite dish in so that we can get some better channels on tv. We had gotten tired of nothing ever being on. He wanted it so he could catch all the sports games. I mainly wanted it for when he was out at work so I could turn it on a watch some free boob on small boob movies. Most people don't know this about me but I'm into watching to chicks going down on each other. Nothings better than a medium sized boob chick going down on a chick with small boobs. That crap is hot. They have to be all natural. This is getting off subject. Back to satellite dish instilation. Well we trying to get a good signal so we had to cut a few branches off this tree in our neighbors yard. Well we weren't really paying attention too much because it wasn't our tree so when we cut the branches off when fell straight through his car window. Sucks to be that guy. My dad didn't see me do it so I just picked everything up before he could notice that I busted the shit out of the neighbors car. I ain't paying for his broken ass car windows. He shouldn't have had that shit parked right there in his drive way under that tree. What a dumb mother fucker. Anyways getting back to the instilation we got that shit up and running. Its got at least 25 different channels for just music. Its amazing. I'm thinking about starting to use it as another pawn in getting chicks to come over to my house. I'm sure they'll be into it. What chick wouldn't be. I already have it planned out. I have this girl I'm going to see tommorow night Roechelle. I'm planning on impressing her with talk about all the channels I get. Then i'm going to find out her interests and tell her they have channels of that on the tv because of the satelite dish. Then when she is lured in the house i'm going to accidentally turn on one of the numerous sex channels and she'll see that and get in the mood and put out. It's a fool proof plan.

 

Players tip: Chicks sometimes act like they don't like see porn, but in reality they do. They can't get enough of it. Try turning on some porn, it'll get the chicks in the mood to give it up to you.

[snuffbox 0]

Eddie - I am planning an evening about town. My escalade is rollin on dubs bumpin Chingy with a vial of GHB in the glove. Can I possibly go wrong as a player?

[Guest Eddie Winslow]

You forgot to give us our player's tip...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Shit sorry snuffbox. I didn't mean to leave you hanging. That son of a bitch Boon pissed me off and I had to make an entry in here before I was prepared to. I couldn't just leave him have the upper ground on me I had to put him in his place. He's nothing but a horrible cunt. Sorry about not giving a players tip there snuffbox. I can't dissapoint my following. I know you guys need the advice from the tips. Some more than others, ehem mayerlution. Players tips only come after an entry about my life. Not threats against cowards like Boon. Since your a good fan I'll give you a personalized tip snuffy.

 

Players tip for snuffbox: To ensure sex on the first date be sure to take your date to a loud rap concert and try to engage her in a drinking game. Try the one where every time you hear the word hey you take a drink. Except you don't drink and she does. Eventually she will be so shit faced that she'll willing do anything you want. usually if you're into her you can take her back to your crib and have your way. If you are starting to get sick of her try just doing her in your car and leaving her at the concert venue when your finished. She'll probably be passed out and won't argue. Thank me later bro.

[Guest Eddie Winslow]

Eddie - I am planning an evening about town. My escalade is rollin on dubs bumpin Chingy with a vial of GHB in the glove. Can I possibly go wrong as a player?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

You sound like your off to a good start. The Chingy is a good choice. You have to have the proper bumping to go with Chingy though. His rhymes tend to rattle most players cars and they get the sound like their bumper and rims are about to fall off. You have to bump an artist like chingy in a well put together ride. Your escalade should be able to handle him. Just do a test run first to make sure it doesn't rattle otherwise the ladies won't be into that. Make sure you have some rhymes to fall back on also. Once the chingy cd is up what are you going to do? Especially if you have ladies in the ride and you accidentally spin some crap like R.Kelly. You'll get laughed at dog. You don't want that. Keep a good supply of cds from artists from the dirty south stashed in your players compartment.

 

Players tip: Keeping a supply of ghb at the ready can change a "no" to a "yes" very quickly.

[UZI Suicide 0]

You really fucked up this gimmick.

 

Eddie Winslow would have never used curse words, or acted like a thug. The worst thing he ever did was drink milk from the carton.

[Guest Eddie Winslow]

Do you know Eddie Winslow? No motherfucker you don't thats why you think that. That was the TV front this is the post clean image. Motherfucker you assumed I lived my life like my on screen persona. Bitch that was just to get some coin in the family's pocket. Nothing more. Eddie has grown up fucker and he'll cave your head in if you think otherwise. Why am I talking in third person. Motherfucker you've gone and done it now. I hate fucking people talking in third person. You just caused me to do it. Don't confuse me bitch. You uncharismatic prick. Don't come in my sacred thread and come in here not wanting to hear it from a true player. Bitch you only saw me on tv. Me and Waldo were out robbing liquor stores of screen bitch. Tag teamin Myra. Bitch you don't know the half of it. Don't ever show your face again bitch.

 

Players tip: Don't assume something about a potential foe that might give him the upper hand, otherwise you might wake up in a bathtub surrounded by ice with a piece of paper saying your kidneys are half way to brazil.

[Sideburnious 0]

Somebody kill this gimmick, please.

[Guest Eddie Winslow]

Why don't you be a man and do something isntead of masturbating to that fucker with messed up teeth.

[Guest Eddie Winslow]

Look you made me spell something wrong because you enraged me. Bastard. Don't piss me off or else you festering douchebag.

[Slayer 0]

How's Urkel these days?

[Guest Eddie Winslow]

He's not doing bad I guess. Poor guy never was able to close the deal with my sister though. We all know he wanted to. He was annoying but still a nice guy. That's my boy. We could use a reunion of sorts. I've lost touch with him.

[Guest Eddie Winslow]

Hey Eddie! Don't make me call my homie Theo Huckstable! Go back to giving Urkel handjobs using melted velveeta as lubricant.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Bitch don't even get me started on that son of a bitch. That shit stain has no fucking class. Bitch fucking jumped my ass from behind one time when I took Vanessa out for dinner and some sex. I took the hoe out for dinner and everything went well then later I took her back to my lair and fuck taped that shit. This brother had it all going on that night. The Boyz2Men that was playing really set the fucking mood and got her all wet for my well documented massive genetialia. That bitch was fucking fine. I didn't bother wearing a rubber, ain't my fuckin probably if the bitch gets knocked up. Ain't like I'm ever going to give her a call back to find out. Motherfucker Carnivaliz your getting me off topic. That fuckhead Theo found out that fucked the shit out of his sister and he fucking hunted me and my boy Waldo down and laid us out when we were walking down to the 711. Fucker gave me a concusion and stole my wallet and pimpglasses. Waldo didn't get anything stole cuz nigger ain't got nothing to steal. Motherfuckin Theo said I better stay away so I did, but that nigga got a vhs in the mail 6 months later of me fuckin his sister. Thats how I do it. If I ever see that fuck again on the street I'm going to push that motherfucker out into traffic. Fuck the Huxtable's.

 

Players tip: Whenever fucking some dumb bitch at your crib make sure you have recording devices set up. Always tape that shit. You never know motherfuckers when that shit will come in handy for some black mail. If you have a girlfriend, just don't let her accidentally find it by putting it in a dust jacket for a movie like Next Friday. Trust me its going to be bad news brother when you sit down to watch Next Friday and your black ass pops up fucking her some bitch that ain't her.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

Eddie Winslow,

 

Your gimmick fucking sucks. Go away. Whatever. I can't even type anymore about this. Stop polluting HD with your fagtastic posts.

[Guest Theo Huckstable]

Hey Eddie! Don't make me call my homie Theo Huckstable! Go back to giving Urkel handjobs using melted velveeta as lubricant.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Bitch don't even get me started on that son of a bitch. That shit stain has no fucking class. Bitch fucking jumped my ass from behind one time when I took Vanessa out for dinner and some sex. I took the hoe out for dinner and everything went well then later I took her back to my lair and fuck taped that shit. This brother had it all going on that night. The Boyz2Men that was playing really set the fucking mood and got her all wet for my well documented massive genetialia. That bitch was fucking fine. I didn't bother wearing a rubber, ain't my fuckin probably if the bitch gets knocked up. Ain't like I'm ever going to give her a call back to find out. Motherfucker Carnivaliz your getting me off topic. That fuckhead Theo found out that fucked the shit out of his sister and he fucking hunted me and my boy Waldo down and laid us out when we were walking down to the 711. Fucker gave me a concusion and stole my wallet and pimpglasses. Waldo didn't get anything stole cuz nigger ain't got nothing to steal. Motherfuckin Theo said I better stay away so I did, but that nigga got a vhs in the mail 6 months later of me fuckin his sister. Thats how I do it. If I ever see that fuck again on the street I'm going to push that motherfucker out into traffic. Fuck the Huxtable's.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

you're lucky i didn't kill you asshole.

[BUTT 0]

You spelled Huxtable wrong.

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

Eddie, Theo, calm down amigos... there's only one way to solve all this hate.... BECOME CANADIAN!

 

In Canada, we are a friendly people who won't fuck you over if you don't deserve unlike the ruthless and evil Americans. We Canadians will take you in and you can enjoy our free healthcare. Right now, I'm paying nothing for my pain medication as I speak. Convert to Canadianism, and all will be calm in TSM once again...

 

eh.

[tekcop 0]

Join us in the dark side of the force.

 

*deep breathing*...eh.

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

Boy, did I choose the right time to stumble upon this thread.

 

While I do agree with the previously mentioned ideals of "become Canadian with our liberalized ideas" and "stop this thread", we're not about assimilation.

 

But as long as we're not being serious:

 

Carlton Banks > Theo Huxtable > Eddie Winslow.

 

Also, the twins from Sister Sister were hotter than any combination of Thelma Hopkins, Laura Winslow(Kellie Cheymagne?) and Karyn Parsons.

 

Plus, as porn has taught me, twin sisters lead to 3 way sex.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Eddie, Theo, calm down amigos... there's only one way to solve all this hate.... BECOME CANADIAN!

 

In Canada, we are a friendly people who won't fuck you over if you don't deserve unlike the ruthless and evil Americans.  We Canadians will take you in and you can enjoy our free healthcare.  Right now, I'm paying nothing for my pain medication as I speak.  Convert to Canadianism, and all will be calm in TSM once again...

 

eh.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Muggy,

 

Your gimmick fucking sucks. Go away. Whatever. I can't even type anymore about this. Stop polluting HD with your fagtastic posts.

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

Eddie, Theo, calm down amigos... there's only one way to solve all this hate.... BECOME CANADIAN!

 

In Canada, we are a friendly people who won't fuck you over if you don't deserve unlike the ruthless and evil Americans.  We Canadians will take you in and you can enjoy our free healthcare.  Right now, I'm paying nothing for my pain medication as I speak.  Convert to Canadianism, and all will be calm in TSM once again...

 

eh.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Muggy,

 

Your gimmick fucking sucks. Go away. Whatever. I can't even type anymore about this. Stop polluting HD with your fagtastic posts.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I've gotten hate already! I truly feel Canadian now.

[The Czech Republic 0]

If you're Canadian, how come I'm not laughing?

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

If you're Canadian, how come I'm not laughing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Because you root for the Cubs.