Favorite Movie Quote?

[Guest darealdeal21]

Can i have a lieter of cola

 

Super Troopers

[Youth N Asia 0]

"Yes they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!"

-A Time To Kill

 

More later, we've done this a million times now

[Guest Askewniverse]

Not my favorite quotes, but two I'll mention anyway:

 

Mrs. Livingston: "Well, you'll certainly be in my prayers tonight...and I'll be praying you get nut cancer!"

 

(after making a fake ransom note, in order to get the cops to take their case quicker)

Mrs. Livingston: "Is it finished? Let me see it."

Mr. Livingston: "Here."

Mrs. Livingston (reading the note): "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Livingston. We have your son. Give us $100,000 or he dies. Signed, the Jews."

Mr. Livingston: "What?"

Mrs. Livingston: "Are you kidding? Are you kidding me? Nobody in their right mind is going to believe this note! They're the Jews! They're going to want more than $100,000!"

[Dangerous A 0]

"FUCKIN BIT ME!!!"

 

Fred Williamson. "From Dusk til Dawn"

 

"Our buns have no seeds"

 

Owner of McDowell's on "Coming to America"

 

They aren't my favorites, but they come to mind right now.

[MrRant 0]

Taggart: I got it. I got it.

Hedley Lamarr: You do?

Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.

Hedley Lamarr: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...

Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.

Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?

Taggart: NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.

Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous.

- Blazing Saddles

[Art Sandusky 0]

"Have we got a traffic warden?!" -- Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.

[Yuna_Firerose 0]

"People will say we're in love." - Silence of the Lambs

 

"Would you ever say to me 'Stop... if you loved me, you'd stop.'?" - Hannibal

 

"Could he, dare he feel a stab of hunger for her, find nourishment in the very sight of her? I think so. But would she see through the bowels of his plight, and ache for him?" - Hannibal

 

"Do you dream much, Will?" - Red Dragon

 

"You must have quite the collection [of scars] by now. But never forget who gave you the best of them, and be grateful." - Red Dragon

 

"A robin red breast in a cage puts all heaven in a rage. Ever been a redbreast, Will? 'Course you have." - Red Dragon

 

"No, I'll shoot the cook. My car's parked out back, anyway." - Once Upon a Time in Mexico

 

"Its not a rocket, you sick fuck, its a COCK!" - Death to Smoochy

 

"One might say grass, while the other says snatch!" - Death to Smoochy

 

"Friends come in all sizes, take it from me! Golly gee, size never matters when you want some friendly patter!" - Death to Smoochy

 

"He was jacked up worse than a prom dress in June!" - Death to Smoochy

 

"My stepdad's not mean, he's just adjusting..." - Death to Smoochy

 

"Now, you must believe me, it was a horseman, a dead one, HEADLESS!" - Sleepy Hollow

 

"Guys, its my dick, I pick." - Suicide Kings

 

"Creeping like a communist, its knocking at our doors//Turning all our children into hooligans and whores!" - Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical

 

"Mister Hurst is a VERY wealthy man who attended Harvard University, where did YOU metriculate?"

*blank stare from the citizen*

"Me-tric-u-late."

*blank stare*

"It means.....where did you go to college?" - Reefer Madness: Movie Musical

 

"If you insist on smoking, soon you'll be floating in the river Styx//What a fix//sulphur pools//torture tools//seperation from your family jewels!"

"Ramalama, they're gonna cut your ding dong!" - Reefer Madness: Movie Musical

 

"Frankincencse. WOW!!" - Reefer Madness: Movie Musical

 

"How can they see where they're going?"

"They can't. There's no knowing where they're going." - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

"Let's boogie!" - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

"Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism', my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies." - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

"Don't touch that squirrel's nuts!" - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

"All you had to do is check the manufacturing dates, offset by weather, and the derivitive of the Nikkei index. A retard could figure it out." - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

"Mr. Wonka, I'm Violet Beauregarde!"

"Oh." *long pause* "I don't care." - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

"MUMBLER!" *pause* "Seriously. I can't understand a single word you're saying." - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

"Where is my son? Where does that pipe go to?"

"That pipe... it just so happens to lead to the room where I make the most delicious kind of strawberry-flavored chocolate-coated fudge."

"Then he will be made into strawberry-flavored, chocolate-coated fudge, and they'll be selling him by the pound, all over the world?!"

"No. I wouldn't allow it. The taste would be terrible. Could you imagine Augustus-flavored chocolate-coated gloop? Ew! Noone would buy it." - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

"Improvisation is parlor trick." - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

"Chewing gum is really gross, chewing gum I hate the most." - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

"I've tried it on, like, twenty different Ooompa Loompas and each one's ended up as a blueberry. Hee...its just weird!"

"But I can't have a blueberry for a daughter. How is she supposed to compete?"

"You could put her in a county fair!" - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

"You mean if I go with you, I could never see my family again?"

"Yeah! Consider that a bonus!" - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

 

"The ICE is going to BREAK!" - The Dead Zone

 

"Ain't no Mort here. Mort's dead." - The Secret Window

 

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't on the verge of doing snoopy dances." - The Secret Window

 

Aaaaaand, thats all I can think of for now.

[bob_barron 0]

Have you ever noticed that when you a kick a woman in the cunt, she calls the cops on you?

[razazteca 0]

"....and darkness fell upon the white boy" - The Breaks

[Guest Askewniverse]

(after finding out that they're half-brothers)

Mitch: "Hey, remember in 4th grade when your sister was up on the monkey bars and I tried to sneak a peek at her underwear? I was really peeking at my own sister's underwear!"

Sam: "Yeah! And remember in 12th grade when you had sex with her?"

 

Kathy: "You guys are brothers?"

Mitch: "It's a long story."

Sam: "My dad boned his mom."

Mitch: "Okay, so it's a short story."

 

Mitch: "Are you telling me that you bet on the fight in Rocky III, and you bet against Rocky?"

 

Pops: "Back then, we didn't have these fancy birth control methods...like pulling out."

[Hank Kingsley 0]

"As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster."

 

"I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart."

 

"You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig."

[Ravenbomb 0]

"Life is a state of mind."

 

"We can only go by what we're told, and that's little enough, and for all we know it isn't even true."

 

"We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. I'm no different."

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Pick any remotely funny quote from Ghostbusters.

[Jericholic82 0]

(after finding out that they're half-brothers)

Mitch: "Hey, remember in 4th grade when your sister was up on the monkey bars and I tried to sneak a peak at her underwear? I was really peaking at my own sister's underwear!"

Sam: "Yeah! And remember in 12th grade when you had sex with her?"

 

Kathy: "You guys are brothers?"

Mitch: "It's a long story."

Sam: "My dad boned his mom."

Mitch: "Okay, so it's a short story."

 

Mitch: "Are you telling me that you bet on the fight in Rocky III, and you bet against Rocky?"

 

Pops: "Back then, we didn't have these fancy birth control methods...like pulling out."

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dirty Work is a criminally underappreciated comedy dont you think?

 

 

Anyhow mine would be (some may not be 100 percent correct as Im working on memory alone)

 

 

"Put him in the bathroom" from A Bronx Tale

 

"As they said, you didn't walk with JoJo, you walked among him. I swear if you looked at him long enough, he would get fatter by the hour" Also from A Bronx Tale

 

"At night you would hear the sound of young Italian men romancing their woman

Guy: Marie, get in the f*ckin car

girl: No way

Guy: Would you get in the car?

Girl: No

Guy: comeon baby, you know I love you

Girl: F*ck you

Guy: Would you get in the f*ckin car?" from earlier in same same movie

 

 

others off the top of my head

 

"He hates these cans"- Navin Johnson from The Jerk

 

 

"Did you ever see that episode of The Twilight Zone when they cut out that man's tongue and they put it in a jar, but it wouldn't die, it just kept mutating and pulsing and gave birth to little baby tounges?" Garth in Waynes World

 

"Sir I will strangle you with my microphone cord do you understand me?" Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer

 

"Terrance:Youre such a pig f*cker Phillip.

Phiilip: Terrance why would you call me a pig f*cker?

Terrance: "Well first of all, you f*ck pigs

Phillip: Oh yea (both laugh)

 

Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire from South Park Bigger Longer and Uncut

[MillenniumMan831 0]

"So the Indians drop a heartbreaker to the Yankees 9 to nothin . . . post game show is brought to ya by (shuffling papers) Ah Christ, I can't find it, the hell with it!" --- Harry Doyle from Major League

 

"Studies have shown it's always best to fire people on Fridays." --- Bob from Office Space . . . ah hell pick almost any Office Space line

 

Any line from Fred Willard from Best in Show

[Jericholic82 0]

"So the Indians drop a heartbreaker to the Yankees 9 to nothin . . . post game show is brought to ya by (shuffling papers) Ah Christ, I can't find it, the hell with it!" --- Harry Doyle from Major League

 

"Studies have shown it's always best to fire people on Fridays." --- Bob from Office Space . . . ah hell pick almost any Office Space line

 

Any line from Fred Willard from Best in Show

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Major League has great lines

 

"Just a bit outside" (When Wild thing Vaughn throws a ball wildy to the right.)

 

"and he is picked off.... personally I think we got hosed on that call" -during first inning of first game of the season,when willy Mays Hayes gets picked off first

 

"and with a win, it would bring their winning streak to.....two!"

 

"Let's see no runs, one hit...thats it one goddamn hit?!"

[Ravenbomb 0]

thought of some more

 

Rev. Powell: Wanna see somethin'? *flicks out switchblade*

 

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father...prepare to die!"

[TheOriginalOrangeGoblin 0]

From Unforgiven,

"Deserve's got nothin to do with it."

 

From Coming to America,

"Son, I'ma tell you this only one time: if you wanna wokr here, stay off the drugs."

 

From The Running Man,

"Ben Richards: I'll be back!

Killian: Only in a rerun."

 

From Reservoir Dogs,

"Are you gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you gonna bite?"

 

More later.

[Henry Spencer 0]

Walter Slobchek: You're killing your father, Larry.

 

and a million others from The Big Lebowski.

[Guest Joshua A. Norton]

"You may know kung fu... but you're still a fairy."

 

"No. You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person, but every once in a while, you can be a real cunt."

[devo 0]

"What's the last thing you do remember?"

"My wife."

"That's sweet."

"Dying."

 

- Memento

 

"What's this 'and the rest' crap?"

 

- MST3K The Movie

 

"As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time! "

 

- Kill Bill: Vol. 1

 

Last one's more of a monlogue, to be honest.

[bob_barron 0]

Bearded Lady: Hey, baby. You ever had a chick with a beard before?

Mitch: Can't say that I have there, bearded broad.

Bearded Lady: Well, then, sugar, you haven't lived.

Mitch: Note to self: I don't want to live.

 

Sam: Hey, doc, what happened to your foot?

Dr. Farthing: What I don't understand is... when you owe a bookie a lot of money, and he, say, blows off one of your toes, you still owe him the money. Doesn't seem fair to me. Especially when he's gonna kill me in four days anyway.

[JJ Johnson 0]

"Your best? Losers always whine about their best! Winners go home and fuck the prom queen!"

-Sean Connery in The Rock

[the max 0]

Board Member: This guy here is dead.

Rachel Phelps: Cross him off then.

 

Harry Doyle: [an Indians pitcher is removed from the game] Well, you can close the book on Kellner.

[covers microphone]

Harry Doyle: Thank God!

[DCMaximo 0]

Abby: If I was a guy, I think women would like, line up to go out with me. I'm smart. I have a good sense of humor. I make a great living.

Noelle: I'd fuck you.

Abby: Thank you, honey. I know you would.

-The Truth About Cats And Dogs

 

Penenberg: But there is one thing in this story that checks out.

Foroohar: What's that?

Penenberg: There does appear to be a state in the union named Nevada.

-Shattered Glass

 

Rob: It made sense to pool our collective loathing for the opposite sex, and while we were at it, you get to share a bed with somebody at the same time. We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26, and we were of that disposition.

-High Fidelity

[MillenniumMan831 0]

Board Member: This guy here is dead.

Rachel Phelps: Cross him off then.

 

Harry Doyle: [an Indians pitcher is removed from the game] Well, you can close the book on Kellner.

[covers microphone]

Harry Doyle: Thank God!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

More brilliance

 

"Ya know it's funny, I always used to hate the guy when he was in Oakland. Now, I love Parkman. It's amazing what a new uniform will do to a guy. (covers mic) He's still a dick."

 

"Just a quick reminder about Die Hard night here at the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won a pennant."

[Ravenbomb 0]

"Don't tease me about my hobbies, I don't tease you about being an asshole."

[The Amazing Rando 0]

"Do we listen to pop music because we are miserable, or are we miserable because we listen to pop music?" - High Fidelity

[razazteca 0]

"Vote for Pedro"

[Youth N Asia 0]

"Joey, do you like movies about Gladiators?" -Airplane