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Damaramu

So I'm going to Unforgiven.....

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So I'm going to Unforgiven as a reporter......I'm at a total loss at what to ask anyone. I can't ask kayfaybe questions but I can't ask smarkish questions either.

Tuesday morning I have to go to the Unforgiven Press Conference. This one is going to be even more difficult to resist getting smarky with questions.

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"What are you doing to combat the growing number of Mixed Martial Arts fans and do you think that old-school WWE fans will stick around given the heavy push by Spike TV and the TNA/UFC combo?"

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"Why don't you raid and push the talent pool from another company instead of attempting of developing your own talent?"

 

"When is HHH getting the championship belt back?"

 

"Care to explain the current WWE style?"

 

"When can we expect a Best of McMahon dvd set?"

 

"Will Stephanie enter her dog into the Westmeister Dog Show this year?"

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Guest Brian
Just slowly go smarkish. Then break out the tough questions.

 

Have you ever seen a WWE press junket? Things are like a fuckin zoo. There's no way he'd be able to slowly work his way up to anything.

 

If they're like that, then just go all out. You could be really unprofessional and have a really long list of question written on a roll of toilet paper.

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"How do you justify Tyson Tomko still having a job while Charlie Haas got fired?"

 

Because Tyson Tomko can be booked perfectly in a minute and two seconds while Charlie can wrestle a solid technical match in 12 minutes and get nothing out of it. When it comes to actual skill, though, there's no justification. I do really like Tyson Tomko's push, though.

 

Ask where the bathrooms are.

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I could show up to that and try and get some Q's in...unless you have to have a press pass that is. :\

 

I believe fans can get in but you have to have a press pass to ask questions.

Oh well I'm going backstage or where ever the hell it is they stick reporters during Unforgiven.

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Yell out a racial slur and see if anyone in the back bats an eye.

 

Hey, at least you'll get noticed by a lot of people.

 

Do that or else go up to Rey Mysterio Jr. and tell him how you take dumps bigger than him. Just tell him you're kidding. If you see Juvy, you should try and sucker him into making a drug deal with you and then never show up with the kilo of whatever he'll ask for. Let him know where you live though before you make the deal so that way he'll at least know you really live in Oklahoma. He'd probably think you were lying if you say that. No one will believe that shit since they'll just think it's some sort of sick joke anyways. If you do pull it off, tell everyone you're JR's son since that could earn you some free stuff. Let them know though that your mom saw Mrs.Ross before the show and asked her where she could find your father at. Who knows, maybe Vince will even ask you to go workout with him if you flex enough in front of him.

 

But enough of that.

 

Go out there and get'em champ. I know you can do it Dama.

 

Oh

 

yeah,

 

FYI,

 

PIX PLZ THNX

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Yell out a racial slur and see if anyone in the back bats an eye.

 

Hey, at least you'll get noticed by a lot of people.

 

Do that or else go up to Rey Mysterio Jr. and tell him how you take dumps bigger than him.  Just tell him you're kidding.  If you see Juvy, you should try and sucker him into making a drug deal with you and then never show up with the kilo of whatever he'll ask for.  Let him know where you live though before you make the deal so that way he'll at least know you really live in Oklahoma.  He'd probably think you were lying if you say that.  No one will believe that shit since they'll just think it's some sort of sick joke anyways.  If you do pull it off, tell everyone you're JR's son since that could earn you some free stuff.  Let them know though that your mom saw Mrs.Ross before the show and asked her where she could find your father at.  Who knows, maybe Vince will even ask you to go workout with him if you flex enough in front of him.

 

But enough of that. 

 

Go out there and get'em champ.  I know you can do it Dama.

 

Oh

 

yeah,

 

FYI,

 

PIX PLZ THNX

 

Sass is taking classes at the T.S. Eliot/Jack Kerouac School of Writing again. Either that or drunk. Maybe a bit of both.

 

As for you Dama, I'd go all out smark. Of course, my job isn't on the line. Personally though, I'd love to watch them squirm when they're asked a real question in front of a reporter pool so they can't just blow it off.

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"Do you really feel that bringing old stars will aid your product's continued growth forward given they are unable to wrestle full time schedules while The Rock, a more popular and recognisable face in the media who is not impeded by injuries, is not being used in the same capacity? Does this not display a lack of faith in your current superstars if you feel the need to bring back ones from the past?"

 

"Do you feel given Spike TVs agressive marketing of their UFC and forthcoming TNA shows your own product will be able to maintain it's audience after moving to the USA network given it's gradual decrease in recent years compared to TNA and UFC's respective growing fanbases?"

 

"Given your history of supporting the troops in actions, financial aid and kind words, did you not feel that exploiting stereotypes and racial hatred encouraged by the war to promote Mohammed Hassan was in bad taste?"

 

"Why have you chosen to lampoon UPN in the same way you did the FCC? Is your choice related to their banning of Mohammed Hassan?"

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"Why have you chosen to lampoon UPN in the same way you did the FCC? Is your choice related to their banning of Mohammed Hassan?"

When/how did they lampoon UPN and the FCC?

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This will be the outcome of SMARKY DAMARAMU, the reporter:

 

"Hey Vince, when will *insert smarky question*?"

 

Vince: Next!

 

 

Just be balanced. Show you know what you're talking about but don't paint yourself as a know-it-all. Show modesty and treat them with modesty but don't act starstruck. They like it if you treat them with respect BUT as normal people.

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"Why have you chosen to lampoon UPN in the same way you did the FCC? Is your choice related to their banning of Mohammed Hassan?"

When/how did they lampoon UPN and the FCC?

 

RTC and currently they have Palmer Canon, UPN representative.

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Ask how they can publicly tell their stockholders that the move to USA is a positive when they will no longer be making any money off of ad revenue (rendering ratings meaningless to their bottom line and resulting in loss of profit) and are losing 2 hours of exposure through the cancelling of Heat and Velocity.

 

Ask about UFC how long they can deny them as competition especially when UFC has drawn ratings as high as a 3.7 in the Male 18-34 demographic.

 

Ask about TNA and how they can publicly deny feeling threatened yet will throw 6 figure deals at Matt Hardy and 7 figure deals at Mick Foley to keep them from signing with the startup.

 

Ask also how they can morally or legally justify threatening wrestlers with trademark infringement for names and likenesses that not only did WWE not create but were used outside of WWE, and interfere with the ability of people they fired to earn a living elsewhere.

 

Ask why they insist on hiring writers who know little to nothing about professional wrestling and continue to push an archaic style of wrestling when companies like TNA, ROH and UFC provide realistic, hard hitting, innovative matches that make WWE look behind the times.

 

Or you can just ask when Hulk Hogan's coming back or if you could get John Cena's autograph.

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