Worst film you've ever seen

[razazteca 0]

Deep Blue Sea

Was a remake of JAWS 3-D?

[Special K 0]

He pretty much could. Didn't Lance Storm post like every meal he ate on the road on that site?

[SuperJerk 0]

Lance Storm doesn't get trigonometry. Therefore, there are no triangles.

[Dr. Zaius 0]

Lance Storm doesn't get trigonometry. Therefore, there are no triangles.

But he took it TWICE!

[Shooting Star 0]

Zorro 2 and Charlie's Angels 2. Fuck Antonio Banderas and Fuck Cameron Diaz fuck them ...fuck them up their stupides asses.

[Special K 0]

These posts are really meaningless. We only exist as abstractions in Lance Storm's mind. Once he dies, we shall cease to be.

[2GOLD 0]

These posts are really meaningless. We only exist as abstractions in Lance Storm's mind. Once he dies, we shall cease to be.

 

Fuck that, I exist only in the mind of Rip Taylor.

[Dr. Zaius 0]

Zorro 2 and Charlie's Angels 2. Fuck Antonio Banderas and Fuck Cameron Diaz fuck them ...fuck them up their stupides asses.

Telling someone to fuck Cameron Diaz up the ass really only distracts attention away from your point.

[Ravenbomb 0]

if a tree falls in the woods and Lance Storm isn't around to hear it, do trees still exist?

[Guest Askewniverse]

Storm watched the movie TWICE just in case he was missing something since he knew so many people liked the movie. Jericho? who also hated the movie couldn't even bother to do that.

How many times did you watch the movie?

 

 

Take this test. Try watching some of the better fights in cinema. The Rocky fights, Hogan vs Zeus or the infamous fight in "They Live" and than try watching the fights in Kill Bill. Make sure to watch each as much as you possibly can. See what holds up over time and repeated viewings. I guarantee you it won't be the Kill Bill fights.

You've watched No Holds Barred and Rocky V, yet Kill Bill is the worst movie you've ever seen?

 

 

Storm watched the movie TWICE just in case he was missing something since he knew so many people liked the movie. Jericho? who also hated the movie couldn't even bother to do that.

 

SO FUCKING WHAT?

 

Does Lance Storm tell you what to eat for breakfast, too?

Of course not, that would be ridiculous. Chris Benoit does.

[Ravenbomb 0]

Chris Benoit doesn't EAT breakfast. He locks random people in the crossface so he can absorb their nutrients

[Epic Reine 0]

Don't ever diss the greatness of Street Fighter. How can anyone not like the Belgium guy playing the all american hero and the Puerto Rican guy playing the evil Russain dictator?

[SuperJerk 0]

Chris Benoit doesn't EAT breakfast. He locks random people in the crossface so he can absorb their nutrients

 

*insert Chuck Norris joke here*

[cabbageboy 0]

Actually I thought M. Bison was from Thailand on the video game, not Russia. And yes, Street Fighter has its guilty pleasure charms.

 

I think you guys toss around "worst movie ever" too liberally. The worst movie ever has to be something so heinous, so unentertaining that it can't be defended on ANY possible level. Bad horror movies at least have some camp humor and fun and thus some possible entertainment.

 

I'm telling you guys: One Man Out. Worst movie I've ever seen. No entertainment value, no suspense, just horribly boring and shitty. As I said, so bad it made my head hurt the rest of the day and also made me hate the theater ever since for showing it. I even spent a whole 50 cents on a used rental tape of it so I could watch again to see if 15 years gave me a new perspective on it. And it still sucks bad.

[Guest wildpegasus]

Storm watched the movie TWICE just in case he was missing something since he knew so many people liked the movie. Jericho? who also hated the movie couldn't even bother to do that.

 

SO FUCKING WHAT?

 

Does Lance Storm tell you what to eat for breakfast, too?

 

You said something like Storm watched part of the movie and than wrote a review. When I heard Storm talk about it he said he watched it twice. That's why I said twice.

 

 

 

I don't know what your problem is with mentioning Storm's name. I think you have some problems.

[Special K 0]

Actually I thought M. Bison was from Thailand on the video game, not Russia. And yes, Street Fighter has its guilty pleasure charms.

 

I think you guys toss around "worst movie ever" too liberally. The worst movie ever has to be something so heinous, so unentertaining that it can't be defended on ANY possible level. Bad horror movies at least have some camp humor and fun and thus some possible entertainment.

 

I'm telling you guys: One Man Out. Worst movie I've ever seen. No entertainment value, no suspense, just horribly boring and shitty. As I said, so bad it made my head hurt the rest of the day and also made me hate the theater ever since for showing it. I even spent a whole 50 cents on a used rental tape of it so I could watch again to see if 15 years gave me a new perspective on it. And it still sucks bad.

 

 

By that definition, probably Revenge is the worst movie I've ever seen. Brutally boring, characters that act in a ridiculous manner, Kevin Costner, terrible love scenes, it's just an incredibly tiresome movie.

 

I can imagine, out of the theater that perhaps Avengers and Batman & Robin could have some entertainment value. IN a theater, they were hell.

 

And I'm really glad I didn't see Blair Witch in a theater. It should be seen alone, in the dark, on a small screen.

[Guest wildpegasus]

The Rocky fights? The fights where Rocky gets the shit kicked out of him, falls to one knee like five times, and then beats the shit out of his opponent simply because he's so tough?

Kill Bill was a tribute to 60's-70's samurai movies, and was completely faithful to them. Watch any Zatoichi movie. A sword fight is going to be a lot messier and shorter than a fistfight, for obvious reasons.

 

WP, you should watch the Calamari Wrestler. You'd fucking love it. The champion gets Calamari (a giant squid with wrestling boots) in a butterfly lock, his finisher. However, Calamari squeezes out! The announcer explains: "You can't put a joint lock on an invertebrate." That's psyschology!

 

Plus a woman fucks a squid.

 

 

Doesn't matter what it tributes. It still sucks. ROH tries to tribute everything and they tend to suck too.

 

 

I will have to give that movie a try. Thanks for the reccomendation. Psychology is in everything though because psychology is the reason why one does something.

 

The best psychology I've ever seen are the fights from the Tiger Mask anime series. Some of the Dragonball fights deserve reccomendation too.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

I see The Calamari Wrestler on the shelf whenever me and my girlfriend go into Hollywood Video...and I try to convince her that we should get it, but alas: no dice. I'm gonna rent it one day without her knowing and then make her watch it. Though I have a feeling if I were to do that she'd respond by getting some awful z-grade comedy, like Band Camp.

 

Oh, and cabbageboy, you really have no idea how awful some horror movies can be. Night of the Zombies will make you want to die. Just check out BadMovies.Org and read some reviews of those rated with a skull.

[Black Lushus 0]

speaking of Kevin Costner, Water World was horrendous.

[Bruiser Chong 0]

Mullholland Drive

Just because you don't understand a movie doesn't mean it should qualify as the worst one you've ever seen.

[Black Lushus 0]

Mullholland Drive

Just because you don't understand a movie doesn't mean it should qualify as the worst one you've ever seen.

 

all that aside, it was one weird ass movie.

[Carnival 0]

I understood it, I just thought it was horribly done.

 

Good Idea, just poor execution.

[cabbageboy 0]

Revenge is a mediocre movie from what I recall but hell it at least had some violence and nudity, didn't it? Pretty much anything with nudity and a body count of any sort isn't Worst Movie Ever level bad. Sure it might be bad, like * level bad, but not worst ever.

 

I'm not sure I want to watch some of those horror movies to find out how bad they are, haha.

[Special K 0]

But everything in Revenge is terrible. The action scenes suck. The love scenes suck. Madeline Stowe, while pretty, is built like a 12-yo boy. (I know that's a cliche, but in this case it's absolutely true.) so the nudity doesn't matter.

Costner's character cowardly knifes some guy in a bathroom. He does nothing but act like a bitch and have some other guy do his dirty work for the rest of the movie.

Every line in the movie is terrible. Every character acts like an idiot.

Kevin Costner's opening retirement speech is one of the worst soliloques in movie history. It's terrible, just terrible.

 

 

And no David Lynch movie I've seen can possibly get worst movie, and I think i've seen them all besides Fire Walk With Me. I think MD's one of his worst, but it's still able to evoke strong feeling in the viewer even if the plot is open to interpretation. Even if you view MD or Lost Highway as two pairs of loosely joined narratives, the direction and dialogue are strongly evocative. I could definitely understand someone hating MD, but it ain't the worst.

[Coffin Surfer 0]

Ghost World. Excruciatingly dull.

 

I'd certainly give a Runner Up nod to Kill Bill Vol. 1, though. Good call.

 

You watch Samurai Jack and than watch Kill Bill afterwards. It makes Kill Bill appear even 20 times worse. Lance Storm was so right. The movie has no physcology at all. It's like a horrible spot fest wrestling match. Even the spots in Kill Bill are overrated. If someone wants to see "cool" done right watch Samurai Jack. And Samurai Jack doesn't even have to resort to underage girls. Imagine that.

 

Now that I think about it Kill Bill reminds me of several of those overrated ROH matches. Trying so desperately to be something they're not and failing miserably.

 

Reinsert Misawa's elbows or a head drop for the Green Hornet music and you've got a movie ROH and all the ROHbots would be proud of. And that's what we got -- Kill Bill Vol 1.

 

 

 

And you feel sorry for me sometimes....

 

 

Anyway , worst for me is "Ghost Brigade." No redeeming qualities to be found, no real gore/violence, no nudity, no camp value, no let's just get drunk and laugh at it value, nothing. I think Martin Sheen shows up in a non speaking role or something. The abyss of cinema. I'm sure there's worse but damn.

 

And probably "Elephant" because I think they actually tried to make a distrubing realistic masterpeice here. Lots of people walking down halls, horrible improv, no characters, lots of walking down halls..etc.

[Black Lushus 0]

And probably "Elephant" because I think they actually tried to make a distrubing realistic masterpeice here. Lots of people walking down halls, horrible improv, no characters, lots of walking down halls..etc.

 

I hated the ending...hated hated hated it...oh yeah and the non-stop walking...ugh!

[The Metal Maniac 0]

As someone else who didn't like Kill Bill (I wouldn't say it was the worst movie ever, I just didn't like it) I just wanted to ask this:

 

How is it that about 5 trained assassins can't even kill a pregnant woman by shooting her IN THE HEAD?

 

I think what bugged me most about the movie were things like that. And I *really* think they should've had some of her training in the first movie, because she does stuff that'd be improbable in the Matrix universe in the first movie.

 

Maybe I just need to watch more Kung-Fu movies, but I never got the vibe that the movie was taking place outside the laws of physics until I saw her doing things that are physically impossible.

 

And while I'm complaining; how is it that her legs atrophy to the point of being immobile, while her arms are still strong enough to not only drag herself around, but kill people? Was someone making her lift weights, or something?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Ice Pirates. Oh yeah and Time Bandits. Yeah yeah I know "It's a Terry Gilliam film of course it's going to be different!" but honestly, it was just a giant piece of crap.

 

Time Bandits is WONDERFUL. The best concept ever. Midgets work for god, steal a map to time and space, and become really terrible criminals.

[Just John 0]

This discussion would not be complete without mentioning...

 

FREDDY GOT FINGERED

 

Absolutely terrible. There are no redeeming qualities to this movie. To say the jokes are unfunny is a ridiculous understatement. Since it's a "comedy," I'll just forego bashing the plot because comedies are usually pretty weak in that area. Still, there is not one likeable character in this movie, and as a "comedy" it fails at its only goal of being funny. Even with really bad comedies, there's usually one spot that gets smile, or possibly even a chuckle, out of me. There was no such instance in this movie. Additionally, there's nothing really to make fun of with your friends, because the movie is so absurd, there's nothing to add except groans and yawns. Tom Green should be banned from media and society for this abortion of a film.

 

I have similar issues with Napoleon Dynamite, but even that looks like an Oscar-worthy film compared to FGF.

[Special K 0]

I really like Ghost World. I own the movie. Some fine acting, some very funny moments, and characters that are both loveable, and both sad and offputting because they're so lonely.

 

It's a little movie, in the sense that it's very character-driven, but little movies aren't necessarily bad.

 

Another movie like that is Kitchen Stories, which is basically about two men slowly becoming friends, that's it. Yet it's a really warm and funny movie.