chirs3 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 (edited) The Smartmark's Wrestling Federation Presents... SWF SMARKDOWN LIVE, MONDAY, MARCH 20th, FROM THE SOLD OUT ASTRODOME IN HOUSTON, TEXAS! (7:00pm PST, 10:00pm EST; check local listings) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tonight, the SWF's Hell or High Water tour marches East, to the Astrodome! The SWF is short one commentator! In an effort to find the perfect replacement for Longdogger Pete, the SWF will be having trial runs for a number of different potential candidates. Tonight, the Suicide King will be joined by none other than AXIS~! (I'll be honest, guys - I'm pretty much asleep at the keyboard right now. First person to come up with a good description for Axis gets a cookie.) Unfortunately, many of our champions are still recovering from injuries, which I'm sure is why they did not make any appearances on AftershoxxXxXxxxX. Hint hint. In any event, certain title matches will have to be held off until Storm, at least - Spike vs. Akira and Jay Hawke vs. Wildchild, specifically. So what's a fed to do in the mean time? HOUSE RULES, THAT'S WHAT. And in order to accomodate tonight's House Rules match, the stadium will be set up as if this were a baseball game! The wrestling ring will be in the middle of the field, right over the pitchers mound! Wrestlers will enter from the dugouts! Entrance music will be hard to hear and very echo-y! Someone will play cheesy tunes on an organ! Doodlee-doo dee-doo! CHARGE! -=-=-=-=- The Main Event Wildchild © vs. Kevin Coyote (non-title) ---> Two men who scored high-profile wins at From the Fire battle it out in the Main Event! Kevin Coyote, having now rid the fed of Longdogger Pete, fixes his gaze upward. His crack at the International Champion isn't for the title this time, but if he managed to pull out the upset... well... we'll just have to see. Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 5000 Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=-=- Landon Maddix vs. Michael Cross © ---> Michael Cross has been cleared to wrestle as far as regular singles competition goes, but he still has not been deemed fit enough to cash in his shot against Bruce. So tonight, the new tag champion goes one on one with the now-former tag champion, Landon Maddix! Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 4750 Send to: janusd -=-=-=-=- Ultraviolent Championship Match - House Rules Scoreboard Scuffle Bruce Blank © vs. Arch Griffon ---> The gauntlet has been thrown down. After Michael Cross was barred from competing on AftershoxXXXxXXxX, Bruce is just itching for a fight, and has welcomed all comers with a shot at his title. The first man to step up - Arch Griffon. Tonight also marks the return of the House Rules match. Now when you think of the "house" in question, you probably think of baseball. But we couldn't exactly have Bruce and Arch play a game of baseball, now could we? ... actually, come to think of it... No, we'll save that for later. Instead, the SWF's overpaid and underworked House Rules committee, over the course of digging up Astrodome factoids, I came across two veeeery interesting ones... 1 - The stadium's first scoreboard was the world's largest. It was 474-feet long, weighed 300 tons and cost $2 million. It was dismantled in 1988 to make room for additional 10,000 seats. 2 - On April 28, 1965, Mets broadcaster Lindsey Nelson worked a game from a gondola suspended from the apex of the dome directly above second base. A plus B equals... Rules: The original Astrodome scoreboard, all 474 feet of it, has been pieced back together in its original, working form. For the purposes of this match, it will be suspended approximately 25 feet above the outfield, facing up. It will be running at the time of the match, with light displays, etcetera. The match will be fought under Scaffold Match rules - toss your opponent off to win. Word Limit: 4750 Send to: Evolution -=-=-=-=- Jimmy the Doom and Insane Luchadore vs. Sean Davis and JJ Johnson ---> Calvinball winners vs. Calvinball not-quite-winners. FIGHT! Rules: Standard Tag Team Match Word Limit: 4750 Send to: Secret Agent -=-=-=-=- Cruiserweight Exhibition Match Ghost Machine 2.0 vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins ---> With Akira Kaibatsu being groun-... uh... being injured at From the Fire... yeah, that's it... the Cruiserweight Championship Match between he and Spike will not happen on this show. Instead, Spike will face the man who gets a shot at the winner of that match, Ghost Machine 2.0! Rules: Standard, with Cruiserweight addenda - outside count goes to 20, no tossing opponents over the top rope. Word Limit: 4500 Send to: Justice -=-=-=-=- We're Very Sorry We Forgot To Book You At From The Fire Match One-Weapon Rules The Crimson Skull vs. David Cross ---> So, we made a bit of a snafu, and forgot to book Skull. We are shamed. To make up for it, the Crimson Skull will open this extra special show, and with an advantageous stipulation no less! Rules: The Crimson Skull is allowed to bring one (1) weapon to the ring with him. It may be anything he chooses. For this match, that weapon is completely and totally legal. All other standard singles match rules apply. Word Limit: 4000 Send to: realitycheck -=-=-=-=- Opening Promo: Wes mu'fuckin Davenport, mu'fuckas! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- (Send all promos, marked matches, etc. to chirs3...) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Again, sorry for the delay. We had all sorts of yummy plans for this card, but a series of unfortunate events sort of derailed them. We hope to resolve all of this by Storm. Word limits trimmed to accomodate the delay. Still, I think it turned out OK. Edited March 18, 2006 by realitycheck Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Rules: The original Astrodome scoreboard, all 474 feet of it, has been pieced back together in its original, working form. For the purposes of this match, it will be suspended approximately 25 above the outfield, facing up. It will be running at the time of the match, with light displays, etcetera.LOL now that's a unique stipulation just one question - being totally ignorant on most things baseball, it's 474 feet long (damn!) but how tall was it? (or wide in the way it's suspended I guess) 20 feet? 30? and now I'll have to figure out how long 474 feet is in meters Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Honestly. I could not find any dimensions for tall...ness... I did find pictures, though. Let me dig them up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 (edited) Couldn't find the pictures I was looking for, but I did find one that works well enough: I think it's about as tall as those little firework shows going off on either side, above the stats. Edited March 17, 2006 by chirs3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Alright now I at least have an idea how wide I can write this thing - it's not a narrow plank ,) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
janusd 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Rules: The original Astrodome scoreboard, all 474 feet of it, has been pieced back together in its original, working form. For the purposes of this match, it will be suspended approximately 25 above the outfield, facing up. It will be running at the time of the match, with light displays, etcetera.LOL now that's a unique stipulation just one question - being totally ignorant on most things baseball, it's 474 feet long (damn!) but how tall was it? (or wide in the way it's suspended I guess) 20 feet? 30? and now I'll have to figure out how long 474 feet is in meters I'd like to point out in fact this stipulation came up with Raynor messaging me because I was awake and he'd forgotten I was Australian. He suggested the scoreboard, I suggested someone going through it, then one of us suggested hanging it above the ring and... yeah. Never let tired people plot. It's a bad thing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest OKCoyote Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Wildchild - I'll try to get some stats for Avery up by tonight, as she'll be accompanying Coyote. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 I'd like to point out in fact this stipulation came up with Raynor messaging me because I was awake and he'd forgotten I was Australian. He suggested the scoreboard, I suggested someone going through it, then one of us suggested hanging it above the ring and... yeah. Never let tired people plot. It's a bad thing.Oh no, no, no I like it! I like the oddball, off the wall weird stipulations - I mean 474 feet of scoreboard, 3 GIANT screens and all the lightbulbs and what not makes for quite an Ultraviolent title match Those I tend to win - it's the normal rules matches I mainly lose *wink* (smileys removed to make Landon's life easier lol) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muzz 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 I'd like the opening promo and some strawberries if you please. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vasarian_Brandy 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Hm. Unbooked. Interesting. But maybe it's for the best. Get me back in the swing. Yeah. That's it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
super_tigris 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Second time's the charm...hopefully. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Sorry, Fury. I was trying to book as many people as possible, and with who we had left, I couldn't come up with any sensible matches. Consider yourself already booked for Storm. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Evolution Report post Posted March 17, 2006 I'd like to point out in fact this stipulation came up with Raynor messaging me because I was awake and he'd forgotten I was Australian. He suggested the scoreboard, I suggested someone going through it, then one of us suggested hanging it above the ring and... yeah. Never let tired people plot. It's a bad thing.Oh no, no, no I like it! I like the oddball, off the wall weird stipulations - I mean 474 feet of scoreboard, 3 GIANT screens and all the lightbulbs and what not makes for quite an Ultraviolent title match Those I tend to win - it's the normal rules matches I mainly lose *wink* (smileys removed to make Landon's life easier lol) Scaffold matches suck in real life, perhaps in writing some excitement can be gained from it. Probably not. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Rules: The original Astrodome scoreboard, all 474 feet of it, has been pieced back together in its original, working form. For the purposes of this match, it will be suspended approximately 25 above the outfield, facing up. It will be running at the time of the match, with light displays, etcetera.LOL now that's a unique stipulation just one question - being totally ignorant on most things baseball, it's 474 feet long (damn!) but how tall was it? (or wide in the way it's suspended I guess) 20 feet? 30? and now I'll have to figure out how long 474 feet is in meters I'd like to point out in fact this stipulation came up with Raynor messaging me because I was awake and he'd forgotten I was Australian. He suggested the scoreboard, I suggested someone going through it, then one of us suggested hanging it above the ring and... yeah. Never let tired people plot. It's a bad thing. It was you who thought up the Scaffold Match style "toss them off" win, and that's what made me remember that second factoid, about a guy calling the game suspended above second base. So, to sum it all up, this was totally my idea and Janus gets no credit at all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 (edited) So, Axis... Australian. I think. I forgot Janus was Australian, so I guess I could forget if Axis was too. Face/play-by-play... ... what else? I only remember writing him in the ML, and he was opposite Comet, so that didn't help. Edited March 17, 2006 by chirs3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vasarian_Brandy 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Sorry, Fury. I was trying to book as many people as possible, and with who we had left, I couldn't come up with any sensible matches. Consider yourself already booked for Storm. Oh, no prob... I wasn't complaining anything... That mess I typed up there? That's the result of about 10 hours of work, coming off of maybe 4 hours of sleep at 11am-ish yesterday. Yeah. I still need sleep. :| Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
super_tigris 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 What if Axis was like Cotton McKnight's play-by-play partner from Dodgeball, the guy from Arrested Development? You know, somewhat of a poser, comedic, but is still capable of making logical and technical comments that help advance a match? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angel_Grace_Blue 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Early during his JL run, Axis shilled PepsiMAX a lot. So, there's that... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Curse you and your rematch clause! :: shakes fist at Jay Hawke :: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angel_Grace_Blue 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Is my calendar wrong, or is March 20th a Monday, not Saturday? Also, doesn't Friday-Monday seem kind of short? Then again, the word limits are low-ish. Bork! Edit: Uh, wouldn't Davis want to smash JJ's head, what with Sean's whole "DIE, FORMER REVOLUTION ZERO PEOPLE!" or is that mainly directed at Jennykins? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JJ Johnson 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Sean was long gone by the time I showed up. Also, Axis had no character, except the PepsiMAX thing. He was completely and totally the straight man, in every sense of the word. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Who else will be doing trial runs to replace Pete? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 We're still working on that. Also, card edited as "Johnny Dangerous" and "Z" aren't TSM board names that I've ever heard of... -Z Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
super_tigris 0 Report post Posted March 17, 2006 Yeah, what's with the date thing. Seems sort of rushed that we've had 3 shows under a week with two being within 2 days of each other and then again 2 days after. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 18, 2006 Three days. Technically, it should be four, but we never get the card up the day it's supposed to be up. The reason everything seems so scrunched up is because of the way we had to push the schedule back following the Lethal Lottery. The next two shows are 5-day shows, so it should all be back to boring, droll monotony after this. -Z Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
super_tigris 0 Report post Posted March 18, 2006 Okay, so matches are do Saturday and no the 20th? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Satanic Angel Report post Posted March 18, 2006 Is my calendar wrong, or is March 20th a Monday, not Saturday? Also, doesn't Friday-Monday seem kind of short? Then again, the word limits are low-ish. Bork! Edit: Uh, wouldn't Davis want to smash JJ's head, what with Sean's whole "DIE, FORMER REVOLUTION ZERO PEOPLE!" or is that mainly directed at Jennykins? It's just Jenkins because the bastard broke Sean's ankle (but only because I was a bastard and deserted.. ). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 18, 2006 (edited) Matches are due MONDAY. I have edited the card again - I really am not sure where Saturday was pulled from, but the deep recesses of Raynor's mind are a terrifying and dark place indeed. -Z Edited March 18, 2006 by realitycheck Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted March 18, 2006 The Saturday was pulled from the template I copied and pasted and forgot to change. We haven't gotten the full list of guest announcers hammered out yet, but most of the good suggestions from the thread Pete started will be appearing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted March 18, 2006 Scaffold matches suck in real life, perhaps in writing some excitement can be gained from it. Probably not. in real life scaffolds aren't 474 feet long and like 50 feet wide with light bulbs and big TV screens and speakers and shizniz either. and we don't have to write them like most scaffold matches which are X & Y climb up X & Y move very slowly to not shake the scaffold or fall off X or Y is pushed over the side and hangs from his arms to make the drop less than it really is and they can fall to their feet Someone falls then end - very disappointing. thank god for the fact that we don't have to write them true to life Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
