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Posted

A while back I saw the trailer for the new Antonio Banderas flick, Take the Lead, and I couldn't help but laugh all the way through it. If ever there has been a cliched film trailer, this is it. It comes off like a total parody of this type of film, especially the quote that I have listed as the forth point below:

 

http://www.apple.com/trailers/newline/take...iler_large.html

 

-Yet another flick about a stern teacher who is given a class of the trouble makers, and everyone goes through a series of the typical ups and downs over the course of the school year. The teacher goes in, slowly starts to act cool to them, and the students learn from him and in the end he learns just as much from them.

 

-Scenes of random violence.

 

-"So nobody told you we were the school rejects?"

 

-"He thought teaching them would make a difference. They thought breaking him would be easy. Now, when his skill meets their passion, a new style is born.

 

-"These are the kids that needs the most help of all!"

 

-"We don't need your charity or anything."

 

-"Everyone expects nothing of you!"

 

-"You can get whatever you want!"

 

-Inspired by a true story!

 

How many more films do we need with this same exact plot exactly?

 

The entire deal with Take the Lead deal reminds me of all of the talk about Snakes on a Plane, and people coming up with sequels and different spins on that idea. It's like these goofs in Hollywood just got together and went something like:

 

"Ok, we need another flick about ghetto kids that need discipline but we want a new spin on it to make it seem like it's a fresh and new idea!"

 

"OMGWTF, I've got it boss! How about ghetto kids that need discipline...through the power of dance!!!!!!!!!"

 

"Consider it greenlit! You are a genious! You'll go places in this town kid!"

 

The next thing we know we'll see a film about ghetto kids that need discipline...through the power of cooking...on a plane or something. These flicks write themselves.

Posted

Protagonist gets in trouble with someone that wants to kill them (usually mob), hides out with group he/she dislikes, slowly warms up to them, decides to stay with group even though they're urged to flee. Defeats villains thanks to help from group.

 

An alternate version is if protagonist is using group for own ends, warms up to group, then villain reveals he/she was using them, forcing protagonist to win group back.

Posted

I think the "upbeat teacher turns around a group of inner city youth" storyline still has mobility, although a movie starring Antonio Banderas isn't going to move things forward in any way.

 

I hate it when Lifetime movies get released direct-to-video under new titles, as there are so many each year with the same "female detective" and "female trapped in isolated location with insane guy stalking her" plotlines duplicated that rarely show any hints of imagination.

 

I can't really think of many formulas that I've grown tired of. I think any formula can still be awesome if you've got an open mind about it.

 

Personally, I'll never grow tired of "Die Hard in a [ ]."

Posted

Buddy Cop movies. What's the last decent one you've seen? Mayyybe Rush Hour, but that's just an OK movie. The one with Samuel L and Eugene Levy (who are usually funny) is an embarassing example.

 

TV remakes. Give it a fucking rest. A true expansion like Serenity or the X-Files Movie (which wasn't that good) is an obvious exception.

 

War Movies. I know some movies like Jarhead are probably worth my time, but I'm just totally burnt out on them. Sorry. Band of Brothers pretty much kills most war movies, anyway.

Posted
Protagonist gets in trouble with someone that wants to kill them (usually mob), hides out with group he/she dislikes, slowly warms up to them, decides to stay with group even though they're urged to flee. Defeats villains thanks to help from group.

 

An alternate version is if protagonist is using group for own ends, warms up to group, then villain reveals he/she was using them, forcing protagonist to win group back.

I'm having trouble figuring out what movies you're characterizing here

Posted

The first concept is Solo, only with a cyborg that has a heart...or something. And the majority of Adam Sandler movies.

 

The second one...uhhhh...I'm gonna go with Adam Sandler movies again.

 

The plot I'm tired of seeing is discussed in the Slither radio commercial. "Psycho in a mask, good with powertools and lousy with English, stalks a bunch of sexually active teens in a desolate location." Basically, I hate slasher movies. The only ones I really like are the ones that parody slashers, like Freddy vs. Jason and the first Scream (though, again, if you look at the whole Scream trilogy, it is quite a parody of a series of slasher films).

 

Oh...and zombie movies where the zombies just sorta shamble around and people automatically know how to kill them. Romero's movies worked because the later ones (Dawn to Land) had the heroes know how to kill the zombies due to them having dealt with the living dead for years. But when House of the Dead had people just go "hey, it's like a Romero movie," that pisses me off. It's funny, because Dave Parker proved with his debut, The Dead Hate The Living, that he understood zombie flicks. He understood that people with little training couldn't defeat the living dead, so they ran. Of course, this discounts the gunshot at the end of the movie (the only really, REALLY lame part), but hey: I love it for the heart that the actors showed while making it.

 

But yeah. Lame zombie movies where the characters don't know how to do shit or are TOO knowing with no reason suck. See: all of the ROTLD sequels, Bruno Mattei's zombie flicks (the worst of the worst), and half of the Dawn remake (though that movie was awesome, but at the same time kind of annoying at times).

Posted

Guy is flirting with and hitting on a girl. Gets her home and finds out that "she" is really a tranny. Doesn't mind and ends up having raunchy, unsafe sex with "her", both pitching AND catching, never minding that it's really a dude.

 

Man, am I sick of that plot.

Posted

The genre spoof, the first 2 scary movies and not another teen movie were decent, but after walking out a half hour into that piece of shit called date movie, the entire group can go away

Posted

Guy is attracted t girl. Guy finds out girl is unobtainable becasue she has protective parents / is a porn star / is gay / is dating a jerk. Guy tries to win over parents / to be a porn star / to be gay / to be a jerk in order to win over girl. Parents become less protective / girl quits porn / girl stops being gay / girl dumps jerk and marries guy.

Posted

Any film in which a love story is forced onto the audience when the plot doesn't AT ALL have neither the room nor the need for such. From Hell is one I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure I'll think of others soon after writing.

 

Anything involving Disney's current breed of film. Girl is so damn beautiful but, lyke, OMG, she's soooo unpopular waaaaaah!!! - Girl makes friends with geeks - Girl becomes popular, acts shallow and stupid for 90% of the film and then for the final 10% decides she wants to, ya know, quit being popular -- like it's a vacation she can return from Ex. Mean Girls

 

Romantic comedies. They're all basically the same paint-by-numbers bullshit. Recent example: Close to Heaven. The only good part about that movie was Jon Heder who was just there, didn't advance the plot much, but he completely owned the movie. The only way the movie is at all tolerable is if one goes with the theory that he invented it to pass the time at his boring ol' bookstore.

 

By the way, randomness: haven't viewed Napoleon Dynamite yet, but I was thinking about it. Any good?

 

Even more:

 

The adventure/comic book/superhero type of film in which the main baddie is built up to be this huge tough guy, the total badass, all-powerful....and the good guy bring him down in less then ten minutes. Naturally the baddie isn't dead because this is the era of sequels and, should the movie make even a buck at the BO, the baddie will seek revenge! ZOMG!

 

A girl is dumpy/not of the norm/rebel/independent and by the end of the film she's made up to fit society's norms for beautiful/in-crowd/popular utilizing a ton of makeup and her life is much happier for it.

 

Interracial dating/marriage. Usually a black fem and a white guy. The girl's pals are all mortified/shocked/offended and proceed to attempt to break them up but, ya know, true love wins. Really, people, the shock of inter-racial fucking is, like, soooo seventies. Give 'em twenty years and the 'black' kids will be just as white as the rest of us. Ghetto whores = equalization of races.

 

Horror movies that depict the vampire as grotesque monstrosities that are little more than snarling, wild dogs.

 

On the flipside, movies like Queen of the Damned... just, no. They shouldn't exist.

 

Man, I have a lot. I'm quite the cynic.

Posted
It's funny, because Dave Parker proved with his debut, The Dead Hate The Living, that he understood zombie flicks. He understood that people with little training couldn't defeat the living dead, so they ran. Of course, this discounts the gunshot at the end of the movie (the only really, REALLY lame part), but hey: I love it for the heart that the actors showed while making it.

 

TDHTL was a fucking TERRIBLE zombie flick. People seem to give it a free pass because OMG IT'S A TRIBUTE TO ROMERO / EVIL DEAD / ETC. Really, it's shitty. Really shitty.

 

Guy is flirting with and hitting on a girl. Gets her home and finds out that "she" is really a tranny. Doesn't mind and ends up having raunchy, unsafe sex with "her", both pitching AND catching, never minding that it's really a dude.

 

Man, am I sick of that plot.

 

What movies are you watching that this occurs so often?!?!?!

Posted
War Movies. I know some movies like Jarhead are probably worth my time, but I'm just totally burnt out on them. Sorry. Band of Brothers pretty much kills most war movies, anyway.

 

In fairness, that's an entire genre of film, not a specific plot. As long as copies of Apocalypse Now, Full Metal Jacket, and Patton exist, that genre will continue to live.

Posted

Guy falls in love with girl...

Girl's family hates guy...

Guy wins family over...

Girl and Guy get married...

 

Example: My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

 

As an added bonus, that includes the "frumpy girl becomes normal and therefore happy" cliche someone mentioned earlier.

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