Comments that which don't warrant a thread

[bob_barron 0]

What I love about The Practice is that every episode was the same. The guy was clearly guilty, the team just used reasonable doubt and accused someone else of doing it, then they won and had the crisis of conscience at the end.

 

Or the DA would try to do what they did, and it'd get overturned and they'd have the crisis of conscience.

 

Still a fun show, David E. Kelly makes great guilty pleasure television.

 

But fuck him for killing him Richard.

[Guest Smues]

The funny part about killing Richard is when they try to save him in the next episode. He gets shot the fuck up with a machine gun, he's DOA. I actually started laughing the next week when they aired the season finale and they act like maybe he's not dead.

[bob_barron 0]

I also would love when the defence would call someone and then accuse them of being the killer, to get the reasonable doubt.

 

I lost interest when Richard died, and when Bobby had the guy kill William Hicks. Bobby was clearly 100% obviously no way you can acquit guilty (they even pointed this out!) and he still got off. Come on! And then his wife gets tried for murder? Really? Really?

[haws bah gawd 0]

If anyone cares, here is the sure-to-offend, opening scene from the new Uwe Boll film, Postal

 

[Guest Smues]

I also would love when the defence would call someone and then accuse them of being the killer, to get the reasonable doubt.

 

I lost interest when Richard died, and when Bobby had the guy kill William Hicks. Bobby was clearly 100% obviously no way you can acquit guilty (they even pointed this out!) and he still got off. Come on! And then his wife gets tried for murder? Really? Really?

 

I was so happy when Lindsey got convicted. And very saddened when she got out. And then it REALLY went downhill from there with her starting her own little small practice.

 

Oh and another Practice bitch, they're ALWAYS calling in favors from the prosecution, usually from Helen, and it's always "Thanks, I owe you," but Helen can never really cash in the favors. If I'm Helen at some point I tell them to fuck off.

[Guest Smues]

If anyone cares, here is the sure-to-offend, opening scene from the new Uwe Boll film, Postal

 

 

Gee I can't understand why anyone would call Uwe Boll a hack. Not at all.

[cd213 0]

If anyone cares, here is the sure-to-offend, opening scene from the new Uwe Boll film, Postal

 

 

Gee I can't understand why anyone would call Uwe Boll a hack. Not at all.

 

I've heard and seen reviews of POSTAL and it's getting decent reviews. People find it very funny and love that it's so anti-PC.

[Jingus 0]

Not really. It's got a 9% rating at Rottentomatoes, with three positive reviews versus thirty-two negative ones.

 

I did see Postal, and must admit I did enjoy it more than just about any of Boll's other movies. I was kinda surprised that I wasn't as offended at the 9/11 jokes as I expected I would be. Not that it's a good movie, it's actually still quite horrible, but...

 

...oh hell with it, here's my full review from Teh Pit.

 

Postal: 3/10

What. The FUCK. Was that?!

 

This movie absolutely epitomizes everything Uwe Boll stands for. It's his Citizen Kane... or his Plan 9 From Outer Space, depending on how you look at it. It's certainly the one movie which he deserves to be remembered for. It's like everything he's ever done, only more so. It's a pointless and unfaithful adaptation of a not-terribly-popular video game. It's, at times, hideously awful. Yet even more than in his previous movies, there's still some kind of diabolical inspiration here. As bad as Boll's movies are (and they can be unspeakably bad), they usually have this unified sense of lunatic purpose which make them readily recognizable as The Master's work. I'm glad to see that Postal is a return to that kind of who-cares mania; with his stuff like BloodRayne 2 and Dungeon Siege, he'd gotten a little more respectable and a lot more boring. It's a welcome sigh of relief that he's come back up (down?) to his old level.

 

But still, most people will hate this movie. How do you feel about a whole shitload of jokes about 9/11? Seriously. The FIRST SCENE in the movie is a comedic sequence about the hijackers on one of the WTC planes getting into an argument about how many virgins they're supposed to receive in heaven, chickening out and deciding to cancel the mission, and then the passengers bust in and cause them to accidentally crash into the tower. Yeah. Not making that up. Really happened. Now you know if you want to see this movie or not. And it demonstrates one of the more peculiar tendencies of Postal, which is that Boll aggressively chases down practically every taboo he can think of in a breathless race to deliberately be the most offensive movie in recent memory, or at least since Freddy Got Fingered.

 

Anyway, that first scene didn't even figure into the plot! It's just a bonus, thrown right up front to make people who don't "get the joke" angrily eject the DVD. It's about some anonymous guy only named Postal Dude, and he's played by Zack Ward, one of those guys who has been in a thousand things but I've never heard of him IMDB is my friend: apparently he was the infamous Farkus in A Christmas Story, okay. Ward actually does a hell of a job in a role where he's fucked from the start, and his charisma helps out the movie a whole lot whenever it wanders off like a retarded kid who spotted some dog turds and instinctively wants to put them in its mouth. And hey, if you thought that joke was funny, then you'll probably laugh a hell of a lot in this film.

 

So, Postal Dude has a shitty life, imagine a live-action version of Tom Goes To The Mayor, that's this guy. Lives in a shitty trailer park, has an obese hellspawn of a wife, can't find a job. Then he gets an offer from his uncle to rip off a bunch of the hot new toys of the season, the next Beanie Babies essentially, except that they're shaped like testicles. His uncle Dave is Dave Foley, and if you get creeped by the idea of a real good look at Dave Foley's tiny penis, you shall not pass. Meanwhile, Osama Bin Ladin and the Taliban are trying to steal the dolls for a plot to wipe out the American population with deadly bird flu. Yes, Osama Bin Ladin is really a main character in a fictional movie. The plot veers off in all kinds of jaw-droppingly insane directions, to the point where one of the characters actually points out how absolutely none of this makes any sense.

 

The strange thing is that I didn't utterly despise this movie and give it the ol' balls 'n shaft with a 0/10. Uwe Boll displays such... well... I don't know if "courage" is the right word here, it's more akin to a lack of sensitivity, like a quadriplegic who doesn't realize that their shoes are on fire. There are individual moments which are so surreal that... I laughed. I couldn't help it. Seeing Verne Troyer getting raped by a thousand monkeys (yes) or a bunch of little kids getting mowed down by machine gun fire (yes) or Osama and Bush frolicking through a field of wheat while mushroom clouds rise in the background (yes), that's just the kind of shit you're not going to see anywhere else. And it's probably a very good thing you won't see them anywhere else. But by the time that Boll shows up in a cameo as himself, admitting that he finances all his movies with Nazi gold and that he's sexually attracted to children, and then the creator of the Postal video game jumps out and beats the shit out of him for making such a shitty movie out of his game... I mean... damn. There are Uwe Boll movies which I would proudly get some friends together and watch, and we'll get shitfaced while howling at the madness of it all. Then there are the somewhat more competent Boll films which are just bad in a lame and mediocre manner, which aren't even worth watching once. This film thankfully resides in the first category.

[Youth N Asia 0]

Watched Charlie Bartlett today. Very enjoyable movie

[DarKnight 0]

That movie Postal sounds insane.

[cd213 0]

Watched Charlie Bartlett today. Very enjoyable movie

 

It was much better then I thought it would be.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Kat Dennings melts my heart.

[RepoMan 0]

 

 

Postal: 3/10

How do you feel about a whole shitload of jokes about 9/11?

 

Pumped

 

[Lil' Bitch 0]

X-Files star David Duchovny has entered rehab in a bid to control his sexual urges.

 

The actor, who is married to Tea Leoni, has a sex addiction, according to his lawyer, Stanton Stein.

 

In a statement the attorney has handed to website People.com, Duchovny says, "I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family."

 

Ironically, the 48-year-old, who wed actress Leoni in 1997, plays a sex-loving author in his raunchy hit U.S. cable show Californication.

 

Duchovny and Leoni have two children - Madelaine West, nine, and Kyd, six.

 

More like the Sex Files.

 

 

[MFer 0]

Does Carmen Electra really have to be in every parody movie (Disaster Movie being the latest)?

[Canadian Brandon 0]

Watched Charlie Bartlett today. Very enjoyable movie

 

It was much better then I thought it would be.

 

Thirded.

[2GOLD 0]

X-Files star David Duchovny has entered rehab in a bid to control his sexual urges.

 

The actor, who is married to Tea Leoni, has a sex addiction, according to his lawyer, Stanton Stein.

 

In a statement the attorney has handed to website People.com, Duchovny says, "I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family."

 

Ironically, the 48-year-old, who wed actress Leoni in 1997, plays a sex-loving author in his raunchy hit U.S. cable show Californication.

 

Duchovny and Leoni have two children - Madelaine West, nine, and Kyd, six.

 

 

I smell crafty media hype.

[Gary Floyd 0]

Takashi Miike's new movie "Sukiyaki Western Django" gets a small release today. The trailer makes it seem awesome.

[Jingus 0]

Ironically, the 48-year-old, who wed actress Leoni in 1997, plays a sex-loving author in his raunchy hit U.S. cable show Californication.

What, nobody remembers that Duchovny was the host of freakin' Red Shoe Diaries?

[Ravenbomb 0]

Ironically, the 48-year-old, who wed actress Leoni in 1997, plays a sex-loving author in his raunchy hit U.S. cable show Californication.

What, nobody remembers that Duchovny was the host of freakin' Red Shoe Diaries?

 

I do. I thought that was weird.

[Nighthawk 0]

Hm, apparently Dwayne Johnson was born here in Hayward. I never knew that.

[Ravenbomb 0]

Redbelt was a pretty damn good movie.

[Jingus 0]

Yes it was, til the last five minutes. WTF?

[Ravenbomb 0]

I didn't see anything wrong with the last five minutes.

[Jingus 0]

Really?

 

How exactly does it work that since Chiwetel kicks that guy's ass in the hallway, he somehow receives both the Japanese championship belt AND the legendary "there's only one" red belt?

 

That felt like one of the more lame audience-pleasing copout endings I've seen in a long time. It was a really bizarre Karate Kid "and the crowd goes wild" moment, which was totally out of place in a movie which up til then had been so smart about both the characters and the fighting.

[Ravenbomb 0]

*shrug* not really something I can explain. When I was watching it it didn't bother me, and it's been a few hours and thinking back it could've been better but still wasn't awful.

 

In fact, the only thing that bothered me while watching was that there were times when I could hear a bit of Ejiofor's British accent coming out. I noticed it in Talk To Me as well.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Ejiofor is amazing... the man is simply amazing.

[Black Lushus 0]

Ejiofor is amazing... the man is simply amazing.

 

except in 4 Brothers...but that's not his fault.

[Ravenbomb 0]

Ejiofor is amazing... the man is simply amazing.

 

Yeah, the accent thing is the only thing that bugs me, and that's only marginally. In Serenity and Children of Men he was really great. Redbelt might still be his best work even in spite of the accent.

[Gary Floyd 0]

Ejiofor is amazing... the man is simply amazing.

Agreed. His performances in "Children Of Men" and "Dirty Pretty Things" are great, and made me an instant fan.