X-Men 3

[spman 0]

spoilers

 

 

 

Yes, and I did see the film in the wee hours of this morning, and here is my review. This movie was really REALLY bad. The story is totally disjointed, it's completely different from most of the comic storylines, much of the film makes absolutely no sense at all, and it's just flat out a bad movie. Phoenix is not a seperate person in the film, it is explained that Jean Grey has multiple personalities. Thus, at the end of the film, when Wolverine kills Phoenix, Jean Grey dies as well. As the earlier spoilers from last year indicated, both Cyclops and Professor X are killed by Phoenix. There were some mutants in the film that I swear Bret Ratner must have imagined in a dream or something, because as far as I'm aware, they are not mutants anywhere in any of the comics. Some of the mutants later int he film are seen with Guns and Baseball Bats? wtf is that? Angel is barely in the film at all, and serves almost no useful purpose except to save one the inventor of the mutant cure at the end. Anyways, here's the basic storyline:

 

The government discovers a cure for the mutant gene. They make said cure available to the public. Magneto forms an army convincing other mutants that the cure will be used by the government to eliminate all mutants. While the X-Men side feels that while mutants should not be cured, the answer is not to militarize. Meanwhile Cyclops is still having visions of Jean Grey. The visions take him back to the lake where she died in the second film. The visions drive him nuts and make him remove his glasses and shoot his laser int he water, causing all this shit to happen which leads to Phoenix appearing out of the water. Jean Grey appears normal at first, but when she embraces Cyclops, she does not seem to realize the extent of her power and thus kills her. Wolverine and Storm later return to the lake, and disccover Jean Grey unconcious, and bring her back to the school, where Professor X explains that when Jean was a child, he managed to isolate her powers, so she would not be as dangerous. Later on, after a scene with Wolverine, Phoenix escapes the mansion. Meanwhile Magneto is on a mission to rescue Mystique, who had been captured by the government. After resucing Mystique, he also frees Multiple Man and Juggernaut. At the end of this scene, one of the guards manages to grab a gun and shoot Mystique with the Mutant Cure which had been loaded into it, and thus now Mystique is no longer a mutant.

 

Both Professor X and Magneto travel to Jean's house, where they find her sitting in her bedroom. Professor X tries to reason with her, but she becomes becomes angry and unleashes her power, which wreaks all kinds of havoc and ends up killing Xavier. Phoenx then leaves with Magneto and joins his army. This all finally leads up to the big final battle in which Magneto's army storms the facitlity in which the mutant cure is created in order to kill the boy they get it from. The X-Men show up and attempt to stop them, and a big battle ensues. In the end, they stab Magneto with the cure, and put a stop to him, and Wolverine ends up being resistant to Phoenix's power, and at her request, kills her. The final Scene is Magneto in the park, supposedly a normal Human, and he's sitting at a chessboard by himself. He attempts to move the pieces with his powers, and hey, guess what, the mutant cure didn't work after all, big shocker there. Oh, and stick around after the credits, turns out the Professor's not really dead after all!

 

Other subplots include:

 

Rouge being upset that her powers prevent her from being intimate with Iceman, so she decides to go get cured (She does)

 

Iceman's rivaly with Pyro

 

The Beast as representative in the government for Mutant Affairs

 

I will give the film one credit though. The action sequences were well done, they were exciting, they were fast paced, and they were beleivable. Overall though, this film was a big steaming turd. Superman next month is going to kick the ever loving shit out the film. I will say though, as bad as this film was, it was STILL better then Fantastic Four. I give this film a 3/10

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

Daaamn, Homey...

 

I dug parts of Fantastic Four. It could have been much better, for sure. But it had it's moments.

 

Now The Hulk, that shit was about an hour too long.

 

That hour should have been Hulk fighting another strong-guy, or just tearin' shit up, with some Bruce Banner Subplots with Betty, Ross and the Army.

 

Other then most of DareDevil, Elektra The Movie in it's entireity, An hour of Hulk, and parts of FF...

 

I've dug all the new movies. All the Spider-Man movies, I know I'm gonna mark out for, same with all the X-Men ones, and the upcoming Wolverine solo joint.

 

Fuck it, I'm a Marvel Zombie from way back, I'll love every fuckin' minute of it, no matter how bad it really is.

 

Thanks for posting this, I've been wanting to know what happened.

 

Did you sit through the credits?

 

There was supposed to be a 30 second or so clip that was way impotant to one of the characters.

 

I'm guessing Wolverine, and it's a Prelude to his solo flick.

[starvenger 0]

spoilers

There were some mutants in the film that I swear Bret Ratner must have imagined in a dream or something, because as far as I'm aware, they are not mutants anywhere in any of the comics.

I read on Newsarama that Spike makes an appearance, but he's from X-Men Evolution. I've heard that Ratner makes liberal use of mutants from Grant Morrison's run (and he created a shitload of them) so that may be where there from. I know that Quill is probably from there.

 

Some of the mutants later int he film are seen with Guns and Baseball Bats?

Makes sense. Not every mutant power is an offensive asset. Like, say, Cypher from the New Mutants.

[dubq 0]

Wow.

 

Retarded. This sounds simply retarded. I wonder if they even differentiate that Juggernaut is NOT a mutant, thus why would he be so concerned with joining up on Magneto's anti-mutant cure brigade?

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

Did you sit through the credits?

 

There was supposed to be a 30 second or so clip that was way impotant to one of the characters.

 

I'm guessing Wolverine, and it's a Prelude to his solo flick.

 

Did you read his post? He already said what it was.

 

Oh, and stick around after the credits, turns out the Professor's not really dead after all!

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

My bad. I'm on Insomnia mode right now.

 

And I think Juggernaut is a mutant in the movie.

[spman 0]

Yeah, Juggernaut is portaryed in the movie as a mutant, probobly becasue it would be too complicated to explain his origin in a film that's already way too convoluted such as this.

 

My overall problem with the film is just that they tried to cram too much into this one 2 hour film. This is really at least 3 different films in one, and it suffers as a result. There's just way too much going on, and there's no room left at all for any emotion or depth. Yeah, it was better then Fantastic Four and the 2 Schumacher Batman films, but that's not saying anything at all.

 

You wanna know what the best part of this film was? The trailer for Snakes on a Plane. It's just so fucking rediculous that it has to be seen. Ghost Rider looks pretty good too.

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

"I want these motherfuckin' snakes off my motherfuckin' plane!"

 

 

[Black Lushus 0]

Fantastic Four wasn't THAT bad...come on now...

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

I defended it earlier, so it's all gravy.

[Yuna_Firerose 0]

Fantastic Four wasn't THAT bad...come on now...

I for one enjoyed it -- rented it (or, rather, downloaded) with the expectation that it was a rip-off of X-Men, and it would suck. Well, it was enjoyable as a popcorn movie... at least. Chris Evans and Michael Chiklis were the best points of that movie.

 

 

 

Now, after reading all of this of X3, I just have to ask: Did Nightcrawler appear at all? I had heard mention that he would be entirely CG'ed for a scene. (Ew... ) It's amusing that many of the reviews I've read ask where the blue elf is.

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

The FF being a rip off of X-Men?

 

That could never be true in any way, it's immposible.

[art_vandelay 0]

Perhaps the weakest of the three but I enjoyed it. I did feel that a number of appearances weren't very neccessary, though. I think they did a great job making Phoenix look as powerful as she's supposed to be. Beast is fucking awesome. Didn't care about the comic inconsistencies...

[pochorenella 0]

Just came back from the movie and I totally disagree with spman and his "review". Dude, you mentioned spoilers but you pretty much ended up recapping the entire fricking movie.

 

It may well be the least satisfying of the three flicks but in no possible way is it a bad movie. It did suffer from lack of the kind of depth Bryan Singer gave the other two films, and it did move at a very brisk pace. You could almost make the argument that the movie would have benefitted from an extra 20-30 minutes (running time is 104 mins. IIRC) so it would have some better pacing and more exposition from the different characters, although it's clear the two stars are Wolvie and Storm so they get the most screen time. By now, and after like a dozen or so comic book movies, it is pointless to still debate wether they make a complete transfer from the comic pages to the screen. It's fucking impossible to have a 100% faithful adaptation! As long as the spirit of the creators remain then all should be fine and dandy. People complaining because the Juggernaut is not really a mutant (he's a guy who got his powers from a mystical gem and yada yada yada) but it's portrayed as such on the movie are just morons. Ditto with some of the (major) deaths and depowerings.

Anyways, it is quite an enjoyable movie. More oriented towards the action side (which is awesome) as opposed to the storyline-driven X-Men and X2. As a long-time comic-book fan I can say that I was not disappointed and plan on watching it again soon. I recommend you guys also check it out and make your own conclusions.

 

EDIT: And I also agree with some other guys here that Fantastic Four wasn't such a bad film.

[Boon 0]

I'm with pocho- I just got back, and this was not a bad movie.

 

It was really enjoyable. While I do agree that it could've used some more time and that some of the plots/subplots were rushed, I cant even begin to imagine how someone could say this movie was a "turd."

[dubq 0]

Just came back from the movie and I totally disagree with spman and his "review". Dude, you mentioned spoilers but you pretty much ended up recapping the entire fricking movie.

 

 

A spoiler is a spoiler regardless of whether or not it spoils a portion of or the entire movie. He put it in the thread's title, you have NOTHING to bitch about.

[Damaramu 0]

I just got back from it and I thought it was an awesome movie. I disagree wholeheartedly with the original post.

 

Yuna? FF an X-Men rip-off? You do realize FF was created BEFORE the X-Men right?

[Anya 0]

Nightcrawler is not in it at all. Not even mentioned.

 

 

I liked it a lot. It just went by too fast. It was exactly as a I feared, they had too much story to tell and too little time. I never liked the idea of having Phoenix in the movie along side the cure. After seeing it I really think that was a mistake. It seems like the only reason they put that in was because they hinted at it in X2 and fans wanted it. I think the movie would have been a lot better had they focused on the main story and kept Jean dead.

 

 

the professors death got to me. That whole scene was intense. What a horrible way to die.

[Anakin Flair 0]

I'm going to see it tonight, so I'll reserve my comments for later. Just as a note, though- Nightcrawlers absence is apparently explained in the X-3 videogame.

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

No Nightcrawler is wack as hell.

 

 

Anya, The Proffessor is alive from what I've read in this thread.

[Boon 0]

The scene at the end is indeed about the Professor. They show Moira McTaggart working on a patient that is NOT Professor, but you hear his voice say "Hello" to her, and she looks down in awe and realizes that it's the Professor. This is kind of confusing, but from what I can piece together, early in the movie they were talking about the ethics of using mutant powers to replace someone's subconscious and essentially their entire mind once with someone else's. In short, I think what they're getting at is that the Professor took over this other dude's body.

 

I could be misunderstanding this, but that is what I think has happened.

[Yuna_Firerose 0]

I just got back from it and I thought it was an awesome movie. I disagree wholeheartedly with the original post.

 

Yuna? FF an X-Men rip-off? You do realize FF was created BEFORE the X-Men right?

I meant in terms of the film. The trailers that I saw (thinking about it, what I saw was probably the TV Spots) of FF only focused on the powers, and edited quickly.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

I had a good time at the movie and never once had the feeling I was watching a bad movie. It moved along pretty fast and introduced alot of characters and subplots, but I had no problem with any of it. I enjoyed this movie more than the previous two and actually thought the story was better, but I haven't seen the other two in a few years so I may have just forgotten them. The movie's strongest point is its action and use of the characters' powers.

 

The explanation of the Phoenix in this movie borrows a little bit from Ultimate X-Men. In the movie, it's explained that Jean is the most powerful mutant ever encountered and that she couldn't fully control her powers. Professor X placed mental blocks in her head to keep her from unleashing her powers the way she ends up doing. The part of her mind that is trapped by the mental blocks takes on the Phoenix persona. It actually makes a little bit of sense.

 

Early in the movie, Professor X is lecturing to a class about the ethical use of mutant powers, and he has a satellite feed of Moira McTaggert treating a brain-dead man on Muir Island. Professor X asks the students if it was ethical to place the mind of a terminally ill person into this man's body. Before he can fully explore this idea, he's interupted and has to leave the class. After the credits, they show Moira with the brain-dead man again, but you hear the man call out to Moira with Professor X's voice. Apparently, before Jean disentegrated Professor X, he placed his consciousness into the man's body.

 

It appears as though everyone has seen that Juggernaut cartoon because everybody in the theater laughed their ass off at the scene where Juggernaut was chasing Shadowcat. There was a hush after the Juggernaut said, "Do you know who I am?" When he finished the line, everybody busted out laughing. I wonder how obscure of a reference that will be twenty years from now.

 

Mystique turned into one of my favorite characters. She ends up losing her powers because she steps in front of Magneto to save him from being injected witht the cure. He leaves her on the ground naked and disowns her. That scene was pretty damn ruthless. She later trumps his ruthlesness by betraying Magneto and the Brotherhood's position.

 

I think that this movie borrowed more from Ultimate X-Men than it did the original comic book.

[Boon 0]

Mystique turned into one of my favorite characters. She ends up losing her powers because she steps in front of Magneto to save him from being injected witht the cure. He leaves her on the ground naked and disowns her. That scene was pretty damn ruthless. She later trumps his ruthlesness by betraying Magneto and the Brotherhood's position.

Does she though? She certainly tries to betray them, but when the military arrives, they find out it was all just a decoy and the only thing Multiple Man does in the movie is setting up that decoy.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

Mystique turned into one of my favorite characters. She ends up losing her powers because she steps in front of Magneto to save him from being injected witht the cure. He leaves her on the ground naked and disowns her. That scene was pretty damn ruthless. She later trumps his ruthlesness by betraying Magneto and the Brotherhood's position.

Does she though? She certainly tries to betray them, but when the military arrives, they find out it was all just a decoy and the only thing Multiple Man does in the movie is setting up that decoy.

 

She showed them where to go, but had no way of knowing what would happen once they got there.

[NoCalMike 0]

I just got back. I enjoyed it. It definately had a more popcorn summer flick feel to it than the other two, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'll tell you what though, that damn sure was the fastest 100 mins ever. I swear it felt like a half an hour, and then suddenly the movie was over. The pace was fast throughout the entire movie.

 

I think the Phoenix Character kind of got shortchanged, coming to life and dying in the same movie, but that might have to do with it being side to side with the cure plot.

 

So it looks like the cure is only temporary anyway, unless it is just temporary in the stronger mutants.

 

Ironic, using a mutant to try and get rid of mutants.

[Failed Bridge 0]

Its an enjoyable movie for people (like my uncle) who never followed the comics at all. For people like myself that read the comics...well you're going to get a tad annoyed. If you can accept it for being its own entity and not an adaptation of the comics to the big screen then you'll enjoy it.

 

Two notes though.

 

1.) This will be the only film you'll ever see Kelsey Grammer beat the holy hell out of somebody. That alone makes it intriguing.

 

2.) I didn't read the whole thread so no clue if this was mentioned, but...you gotta sit through all the credits. Afterwards there's about a min more worth of film and the real absolute ending.

[Yuna_Firerose 0]

I do not expect every review of a film to be positive -- however, is it really a crime to expect them to be written well?

 

From here:

 

I liked it. Everyone was angry, really tense, and emotionally charged up. And, they got rid of the dead wood. Hated the Blue Beast.

X-MEN: THE LAST STAND

By

Victoria Alexander

FilmsInReview.com

 

My weekly column, “The Devil’s Hammer,” appears every Monday on FromTheBalcony.com.

 

I know I’m going to pay dearly for that quote. I’m still defending my gay credentials answering vicious emails (my RENT review) as well as furious emails about my reviews of SILENT HILL (and I liked it!) and SERENITY (I hated it). I seem to be getting surprisingly complimentary emails about my review of THE DA VINCI CODE (discounting the folks who suggest I get a better spell check program), so I am now psychologically prepared to take on the X-MEN loyalists.

 

That said, I am not an X-MEN reader, so as a neophyte I am reviewing this third installment of the franchise purely on its cinematic value. I know you don’t care. You want all reviewers to be disciples of the X-MEN mythology.

 

I happen to like what director Brett Ratner has done with it. While he probably did not have much to do with fiddling with the sanctioned sstoryline, he chose strong-willed close-ups and directed the actors to be really angry and emotionally on the edge of reason.

 

However, contrary to the intention, the level of mutant destruction of public property had me almost cheering for the humans.

 

X-MEN: THE LAST STAND is supposed to be the last installment but I strongly doubt it. Three-picture contracts are up. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) wants his own franchise. Mutants are getting sexier and their super-powers are more impressive. Budgets are bigger and the franchise doesn’t need names. Time to highlight teenagers with issues (important audience demographics) and cast unknowns without big back-end demands.

 

Rogue needs to go back to Oklahoma and leave HARD CANDY’S Ellen Page (here as Kitty Pryde) to take center-stage.

 

If the writers can unearth Jean Grey, the best of Magneto’s clan, Mystique (Rebecca Romijn) will come back. Let’s hope we have seen the last of the gay duo, Bobby Drake/Iceman (Shawn Ashmore) and Pyro (Aaron Stanford). Juggernaut (Vinnie Jones) must be a comic book favorite but he is useless here.

 

As far as the premise goes, who doesn’t want super powers? I have a large group of friends who all believe they have super powers: They are psychic, healers, mediums, remote viewers, talk to angels and dead people, have sex with ETs, come directly from other planets, or are reincarnated famous people. Everyone is desperate to be special and have powers. But, in X-MEN world, “mutants with glorious flying powers” are hated.

 

I’ll ask the disciples: If, by a quirk of some unknown DNA fusion with an X-factor, you are not a born a “mutant,” can anyone have a child who has superpowers? That’s pretty democratic. Where is the “I am chosen, you were not” theme?

 

In the real world, people would be trying hysterically to have superbabies. If the amniocentis test came back “normal,” you could elect to “discontinue” the pregnancy and try again for a superbaby. In the very near future, we will all have what we really want: beautiful designer babies.

 

Nobody in X-MEN World likes having superpowers. They want to be normal and ordinary slaves to the Laws of Nature – just like us. That certainly means no flying, walking through walls, or changing into different people at will. They want to wait on line and travel by bus?

 

There is a pharmaceutical cure and, wouldn’t you know it, neither Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and Magneto (Ian McKellen) like the idea. But they have different methods about how to combat the mutant menace cure of Warren Worthington Sr. (Michael Murphy) and his band of scientists. Worthington is unhappy his son (Ben Foster) has wings and can fly.

 

How much did Kelsey Grammer pay 20th Century Fox to be in X-MEN: THE LAST STAND? Here is a good case of an obscenely wealthy TV actor using his clout and syndication money to be part of a blockbuster. What’s next? His Playboy wife Camille in movies? Grammer plays hairy, blue-tinged Dr. Henry McCoy/Beast, who is the Secretary of Mutant Affairs. Dr. McCoy’s lumbering nearly cripples the movie. As a contractual clause, he gets to wear an X-Men costume that barely fits.

 

Xavier’s saintly teacher crew is back: Besides the groomed Wolverrine, unloved Storm (Halle Berry) has a new hairdo and a cat fight, Cyclops (James Marsden) takes off his glasses, Rogue (Anna Paquin) still can’t hold any screen time and Jean Grey defies death by being resurrected as Dark Phoenix. It’s the ugly, but far more interesting, part of her powers. Her reptilian brain is unleashed.

 

Both Xavier and Magneto want her as their own little manipulated play thing.

 

These mutants are outcasts but they do have a caste system. Dark Phoenix is a Level 5 Mutant!

 

It would have been daring if screenwriters Simon Kinberg and Zak Penn had added some sociological ideology into the uneasy themes behind X-Men. At least they can’t avoid Magneto’s Genghis Khan philosophy of warfare and his Nazi-style costume.

 

Ratner uses his budget to impressively destroy a nice little neighborhood, a part of the Planet Earth, and the remodeling of the Golden Gate Bridge. The visual effects merit mention and Ratner has delivered on his promise to invigorate the franchise. With so many characters laid to rest, it is time to look towards a more sinister plot – with a worthy villain.

 

Victoria Alexander answers every email and can be contacted directly at [email protected] or by visiting www.FilmsInReview.com

[buffybeast 0]

I saw the movie. I was quite pissed at far away Ratner moved away from the comic/original cartoon. The shit made no sense at times. I did NOT like that key members of Xmen were killed. Nor did I care for the surprise ending. The movie, while entertaining, was just wrong, wrong, wrong.

[SuperJerk 0]

Phoenix is not a seperate person in the film, it is explained that Jean Grey has multiple personalities.

 

I was wondering how they were going to handle that. I don't think a movie audience would buy that an extraterrestrial energy being would choose to impersonate an Earth woman. Of course, before 1986, everyone DID think that Phoenix was a corrupted Jean Grey.

 

 

 

 

Oh yes, and fuck the X-Men cartoon. While it was cool that entire scenes were lifted right out of the comics, the way the Phoenix Saga was ended is absolute bullshit.