Worst Song(s) of 2006

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

5. Tool - "Jambi"

4. Tool - "Lost Keys (Blame Hoffman)"

3. Tool - "Rosetta Stoned"

2. Tool - "Vicarious"

1. Tool - "The Pot" - 10,000 Days

Worst album of the year. Worst band of the year. Worst single of the year. Worst concert of the year. Worst song of the year. Wow...Maynard sure should kill himself and tell Adam and Justin to follow suit quickly.

 

Hey, we get it already, you don't like Tool.

[Guest BlindHeartagram]

The new Celtic Frost was shit in a bag.

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

Wait a minute....is Our Country the one from the Chevy commercial, with the "this is our attitude, this is our lifestyle" etc. graphics along the bottom of the screen?

 

If we're on the same page, that is hands-down the worst song of the year(rescinding on my hate of Hinder above), and I didn't even factor in my Mellancamp prejudice.

[Guest "Go, Mordecai!"]

you don't listen to music with your brain, you listen to it with your balls.

What? No you don't. And yes, that's obviously a figure of speech, but "you listen to it with your balls" is far from a universal truth.

can anyone imagine how wretched it would be to listen to music with this guy?

 

guy: wow this is a great song

 

felonies: its ok, but i'd have chosen a different adjective in the chorus

 

guy: .......

I respect you too!

 

What do you mean "stutter stepping through barely audible lyrics"? I clearly understood like 95% of what he said on the first listen, and they're not mixed to the back or anything. Distorting the vocals is not groundbreaking: everybody does it these days.

[SuperJerk 0]

The worst part of "Sexyback" is the pointless and randomly non-musical repetition of the word "Yeah." It seems so out of place in the song because it sounds like the guy was being asked if he wants another beer.

 

non-musical? what is non-musical? what is musical? what constitutes what?

 

i've never heard more pathetically ignorant ways to hate a great song in my life.

 

superjerk you wouldn't be such a sexually pent-up basketcase if you danced to sexyback just once. put a little strut in your step. it HAS to be better than being the laughing stock of the teacher faculty at school. just let go. bring sexyback. get yer sexy on.

 

[Guest "Go, Mordecai!"]

Do we really think the artistic merit of a product is linked to that person's unique ability to write a given song, or the fact that many other people hypothetically could have written it?

To an extent, yes, I think there can be a connection between art and artist. Is this that outrageous of an opinion that you're acting so incredulous? Lou Reed's best music is his most unique music, whereas stuff like Loaded and Transformer are a step down. Once again, this doesn't always apply to anything, but I don't see why part of what makes King Crimson's Red so cool is how musically, it captures the tension and frustration going on within the band. If you treat it as existing in a vacuum, it's still good, but loses something.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Minus the emphasis on theory, I more or less held Czech's opinions on music when I was 18. People think I'm insufferable now!

 

Anyway, I'll argue that good-to-great music written within the structure of standard pop music (i.e. verse-chorus-verse etc.) is so much more of an accomplishment than, say, composing a baroque song cycle utilizing iambic pentameter or whatnot. Pulling off the former, given the rigid guidelines of pop, is much more difficult.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

but I don't see why part of what makes King Crimson's Red so cool is how musically, it captures the tension and frustration going on within the band. If you treat it as existing in a vacuum, it's still good, but loses something.

Focusing on the extracurriculars mainly results in lazy criticism. Which, by the way, isn't a shot at you.

[Guest "Go, Mordecai!"]

It's hard for me to say the highest achievement in one style of music is better or worse than the highest achievement in another highly disparate style, which at least sets me apart from those conservatory types, but I see what you mean. All that contrapuntal music had its own rigid parameters as well, though.

 

Focusing is one thing, but I don't see why it can't be taken into consideration.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

What bit of Reed's discography are you considering "unique?"

[Guest "Go, Mordecai!"]

Some of & Nico, White Light/White Heat, Berlin, New York, Songs for Drella, Magic and Loss, and various songs along the way: "The Murder Mystery," "Street Hassle," "The Bells" (even though I don't like it, at least it has some avant-garde to it).

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Focusing is one thing, but I don't see why it can't be taken into consideration.

It can, but so many writers who take that path end up not talking about the music so much as gossip about the musicians themselves. I'd rather everyone shut up about this singer/songwriter's relationship woes or this band's creative differences and talk about music aesthetically. Of course, I long ago realized that most rock critics are incapable of doing that—at least doing it well—so I rarely bother with rock critics now.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Some of & Nico, White Light/White Heat, Berlin, New York, Songs for Drella, Magic and Loss, and various songs along the way: "The Murder Mystery," "Street Hassle," "The Bells" (even though I don't like it, at least it has some avant-garde to it).

This is what I assumed you were getting at and what I was addressing earlier, though I didn't exactly word it that way. If you happen to get more out that, fine, but your earlier post implied that operating left-of-center was intrinsically better. I like (and happen to love) some of what you've listed there, but Reed wrote some great, unabashed pop songs that trump most anything he's done. "I Heard Her Call My Name" is tremendous, yet "Sweet Jane" seems so much more perfect.

[Zack Malibu 0]

Minor Nitpick: Both "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies" and "Dance, Dance" are 2005 songs.

 

Timberlake's album was pretty damn good IMO, but then again I'm one of the minority who favors pop/dance/trance/club style stuff around here.

 

While the album as a whole was also very good, Nelly Furtado's best single this year is easily "Say It Right".

 

Fergie is better with the Black Eyed Peas, although I largely prefer Elephunk over the last album. On her own, she annoys me.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

I fail to see how Loaded and Transformer are steps down. Both albums are better than Berlin and I never got much out of White Light/White Heat. Oh yes, groundbreaking - but not entertaining beyond a few listens (aforementioned 'Street Hassle' is the most interesting long piece he ever did).

[Murmuring Beast 0]

I double posted, so I'll say that New Sensations and Mistrial are great albums.

 

No underlying tension or issues within though, so Czech won't like them.

[Ginger Snaps 0]

"Show Me What You Got" by Jay-Z in a walk.

 

Oh god i forgot that one. Yeah, it's very bad. If Jay-Z is going to make songs that bad he should just retire again.

 

I'm glad some people here are giving some hate to Hinder. Man, I can't stand their songs. Needless to say Lips of an Angel is up there for worst song.

 

I cannot take that song. But I disagree, I don't think it's a terrible song. I guess I'm not like the rest of you, I don't think that a rock song sucks just because it's top 40 mainstream music. I don't think Nickelback is the worst band ever or Panic at the Disco is bad or anything like that. They're songs may be mediocre but I don't think they're neceesarily bad just played too much. That Lips of an Angel song is a good example. It's an okay song if they played it every now and then. But a regular terrestrial rock or mix station will play it like twice an hour, and so I'm so sick of it I hate it.

[Vyce 0]

5. Tool - \"Jambi\"

4. Tool - \"Lost Keys (Blame Hoffman)\"

3. Tool - \"Rosetta Stoned\"

2. Tool - \"Vicarious\"

1. Tool - \"The Pot\" - 10,000 Days

Worst album of the year. Worst band of the year. Worst single of the year. Worst concert of the year. Worst song of the year. Wow...Maynard sure should kill himself and tell Adam and Justin to follow suit quickly.

 

Hey, we get it already, you don\'t like Tool.

 

Yeah, really. We get it, Cory. You hate Tool. You love Shadows Fall or one of those other metal bands. We understand.

 

I\'m a big Tool fan, and I was disappointed with 10,000 Days (half the album was good, solid music, the other half I have no fucking clue what Maynard was trying to do), but none of it was worst of the year material.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

10,000 Days was solid, but not quite great. I'd put it below Aenima, and maybe slightly behind Lateralus as well depending on the mood. "Vicarious" and "The Pot" were both great, but some of the middle tracks were a little too meandering. I still think it was one of the better albums of 2006, but then again I didn't venture much into popular music this year.

[Guest Legalise Drugs and Murder]

Emphasizing on things like theory and technical musicality is a side effect of being a musician. While my musical opinions are generally "I know what I like," a strong second inclination is "Hey, that's a pretty neat chord progression or use of rhythm or whatever the fuck." I know I wouldn't like King Crimson or Frank Zappa half as much if I didn't understand the polyrhythmic elements in "One More Red Nightmare" or "Toads of the Short Forest," or just how much skill it takes to play something like "The Black Page" or "Discipline."

 

I'm sure czech's looking at it much in the same way. Now while I like listening to Lil Jon screaming at me, it doesn't really stimulate that musician chunk of my brain, except for the studio-dabbling piece.

 

Why can't a person listen with their "brain" and "balls"? Banky was making a pretty sweeping generalization there.

[UZI Suicide 0]

FROM THE EAST COAST

 

TO THE WEST COAST

 

DOWN THE DIXIE HIGHWAY, BACK HOME

 

THIS IS OUR COUNTRY

 

DO DO DO DO DO DOOOO

 

THIS IS OUUUUR COUNTRY.

[Guest "Go, Mordecai!"]

Why can't a person listen with their "brain" and "balls"? Banky was making a pretty sweeping generalization there.

I don't know. I liked how he broke down everything about that song, and then just went ad hominem to close it out. "So as you can see, there are some fascinating musical elements to this piece. Oh, and you're an asshole that nobody wants to be around." But then again, that would address me personally instead of saying "look at this guy" or some similar grandstanding, but then again, I just did the same thing, didn't I?

 

I fail to see how Loaded and Transformer are steps down. Both albums are better than Berlin and I never got much out of White Light/White Heat. Oh yes, groundbreaking - but not entertaining beyond a few listens (aforementioned 'Street Hassle' is the most interesting long piece he ever did). I double posted, so I'll say that New Sensations and Mistrial are great albums.

 

No underlying tension or issues within though, so Czech won't like them.

Well, I guess we disagree. I'll never be completely accepting of Loaded, I suppose. I didn't think Mistrial was very good, but to counteract your generalization, Coney Island Baby and The Blue Mask seem like pretty personal affairs, and I'm not really crazy about those albums.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

No, it's not just that I hate Tool and prefer metal. It's that I firmly believe Tool to be one of the worst bands since the creation and popularization of rock n' roll. You know those bands where you hear just a few seconds of one of their songs, and you cringe and want to violently end the audible pain being brought to you by an 18-gauge 2-pair cable? That's Tool. It's my nails on a chalkboard. And it doesn't help when every radio station up here (since my warehouse only has a radio, not a tape player or a CD player or anything I can plug my iPod into) plays Tool ad nauseum, or that every single person I associate myself with wets themselves with glee when somebody even mentions the name "Maynard."

 

10,000 Days is something I was forced to listen to constantly due to not having any imaginable control of the stereo while with my girlfriend and our friends. We all have our own little personal favorites, and we have bands that we all commonly like/tolerate (Sublime, 80's Metallica, etc.). But then there's bands they nut for and I can't understand why. Tool. Children of Bodom (good, but not as great as people make 'em out to be). Frozen Eternity (essentially a Bodom cover band). Choking Victim. Immortal Technique. When you are forced to choose either between listening to an abundance of music you intensely dislike, or even hate, or not spend time with your best friends, it's easy to see why you hate the music you hate so much.

 

Not to mention the technical aspects of Tool. Wow, they play in weird time signatures. So do Mastodon, Pink Floyd, Dillinger Escape Plan, Frank Zappa, King Crimson...fuck, even Mudvayne. They use some strange philosophy in their lyrics. Ever read any Dax Riggs tunes? That dude makes you fucking freak out trying to rationalize everything. Ditto pre-solo Rob Zombie (seriously: check out the lyrics to half of Astro-Creep 2000 and then try to decipher their meaning, since he's never blunt about anything). Uhhh...they use weird, mindfucking art? Cool, good for them...so does a plethora of black metal bands. Their live show...wow, they stand still and play longer versions of their songs without even the musical competence to take the themes of their tunes and progress them musically (a la jam bands) but rather drone out the same incessant noise on and on and on...

 

"Dammit, Corey, I'm sick of you talking about how much you hate Tool, {whatever band the L-A-Z loves} sucks." Not that anybody's said that yet, but I doubt it won't come up in some way, shape, or form. We're all entitled to opinions, but when an opinion is criticized, a reasoning is due. Tool is the equivalent of me farting onto my Warlock for 7 minutes while changing between holding down the 6th and 5th strings at odd time intervals and then calling it music. There's nothing artistic about using no emotion whatsoever to please an audience primarily composed of stoners and non-musicians who just don't understand why you're horrible. If that were the case...well then, my high school band The Wesux would've been selling platinum albums by now.

[Red Baron 0]

You'd probably like Opiate from Tool.

[Ginger Snaps 0]

I didn't read all of Corey's post. Someone tell me, was it just him bitching about this metal band he hates for four or five paragraphs.

[Annabelle 0]

Why can't a person listen with their "brain" and "balls"? Banky was making a pretty sweeping generalization there.

 

it was from freaks & geeks. im sorry.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

You'd probably like Opiate from Tool.

You know what? I don't mind it that much. I hate the way they've chosen to make their instruments sound (the guitar has always sounded awful, just from tone and whatnot), but Opiate wasn't a completely offensive EP. It wasn't pretentious, drawn-out, or even offensive. It was full of songs of the right length, and they felt like they were the right length.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

For the record Czech, I'm not a big fan of Coney Island either and The Blue Mask is better but a bit flat. He has done better personal albums.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

The worst song by a 'proper' band: 'Monster' by the Automatic. Absolutely terrible. And the follow up song is exactly the same. Stupid faux-American accents and aren't they from Wales? Hideous.

 

Not that I'm anti-Welsh! I just love Aled Jones!!!!!!!!!

[PLAGIARISM! 0]

Welsh people really shouldn't form bands. Just when the Lost Prophets fell off the radar...