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Nighthawk

Ask Milky.

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Oh yeah, I guess that's true.

 

Drawing women as in attracting them is basically solely about confidence, I find. Like a guy I know who is seriously pretty psychotically creepy always seems to do that. It's pretty much solely because he thinks he's this outrageous chick magnet, he really believes it... and therefore he kind of is. It's the same principle behind Tucker Max. And myself, when I was in college.

And me now, even. I still don't have a problem with that aspect of it. The other day I got home from having sex, and I stopped at Jack in the Box and got a chipotle chicken ciabatta sandwich. And I thought about the sex, and I looked at the sandwich, and I said "Yep. This sandwich is the best thing that happened to me today."

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Paragon's right. My fault on the poor wording. I wasn't going to say anything, figure Milky was just being Milky with an odd-ball response that seemingly had nothing to do with the question.

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Also, since it sort of bridged the gap between the two, actually drawing women on paper is a good way to draw them to you. It ain't just a scene in Titanic, that shit works.

I think I mentioned here the myriad of chicks I got to take their clothes off because I told them they could pose for a fairy tattoo I was going to get. I mean, it wasn't a bit, I really meant it. I actually have decided on the girl I'm going to use. Point is, it worked.

I think this is about feeding their ego.

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Alright I posted in this thread so I might as well ask a question.

 

Do you ever have an overly deep attachment to things that happened to you in your past? What I mean by that is, do you have a hard time going forward because sometimes you look at certain things that happened to you before and feel defined by that? You sound like you've been through a lot in your life, some of which is bad shit (by your own admission) and I find that a lot of people that have had strong negative experiences in their past tend to define themselves by that. For instance, you say you've always been bad at relationships and been kind of abusive towards women, so now you find it hard to stop doing that and find and have a normal relationship with a girl, which is what you want.

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So I just got layed off after a 6 week temp job. My boss says that when they start hiring again, There's a good chance I can get hired. God knows when that could be and they just fired about 15 people in the 6 weeks I was there because they were stealing money off of pay checks. Then my boss told me this homeless guy was doing something with the computers and tried to steal peoples Social Security numbers. Should I wait till they start hiring again or should I look for a different job? Keep in mind this job pays $10 an hour and It's a government job.

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I have to admire the allure of Milky. Just about anyone else starts this thread and they get questions like, "What's your favorite color?" With Milky, it's, "What should I do with my life?"

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Do you ever have an overly deep attachment to things that happened to you in your past? What I mean by that is, do you have a hard time going forward because sometimes you look at certain things that happened to you before and feel defined by that? You sound like you've been through a lot in your life, some of which is bad shit (by your own admission) and I find that a lot of people that have had strong negative experiences in their past tend to define themselves by that. For instance, you say you've always been bad at relationships and been kind of abusive towards women, so now you find it hard to stop doing that and find and have a normal relationship with a girl, which is what you want.

 

I struggled with this a long time. I did terrible, terrible things (they weren't so terrible, it wasn't something that everybody else I knew wasn't doing, but if you stop and think... it's evil. Problem is nobody else stopped and thought). This is a serious problem (defining yourself by your past), but you have to just move on and forget it. It's about telling yourself, over and over, who you are, and what you offer, and it's not that, anymore. If you get locked up forever, then you can do that, just be like "This is all I meant to society." But my incredible enthusiasm towards life comes from knowing that it could be worse.

Quit saying "I need to be a better person." and say "I am a better person." I did bad things to girls (No, I didn't hit them or scream at them or any of that... my recent talks with certain female friends of mine have told me that that sort of thing is immediately what their mind goes to). But I psychologically abused them and made them hate themselves even worse than they already did. It's not better.

I fostered hate, I did evil shit, I made girls loathe their own bodies and want to be abused.

Pretty bad, but do I do it now? No. I find solace in all the awful shit that was done to me, it's like "Ok, you did this to me, and I did it to you, but we're grown now. Let's get it together." And it's like, I'm a nice, sweet guy, and I'm ok. Does what I did back then change that? No, it really doesn't. Whatever reasons you've got, what you do now is all that matters. Try to put it on the level of eating paste when you were in kindergarten. Shouldn't have, but did, so what? I think defining yourself by your past is about not being satisfied with what you do today.

It's like Duff McKagen. "Ok, I drank so much my pancreas burst. But now I'm in Velvet Revolver and our albums are good." Duff doesn't care that he did that. Now it's about yoga. Ok, do that. If you kill somebody, that's forever, but besides that, nothing is forever.

 

That's really what it comes down to. Honestly ask "Does what I used to do change what I do now?" Unless you're in prison, there's no way it does.

 

So I just got layed off after a 6 week temp job. My boss says that when they start hiring again, There's a good chance I can get hired. God knows when that could be and they just fired about 15 people in the 6 weeks I was there because they were stealing money off of pay checks. Then my boss told me this homeless guy was doing something with the computers and tried to steal peoples Social Security numbers. Should I wait till they start hiring again or should I look for a different job? Keep in mind this job pays $10 an hour and It's a government job.

 

Get a different job, then quit if you get a chance to go back to the old one (If it's better than the new job you found). There's nothing wrong with taking a job to pay some bills, then forgetting it. Hell, work at a grocery store. Point is, if you like the old job and want it back, take it, but you don't have to hold out for it.

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Do you consider starting the infamous "Show Your Penis" thread to be one of those "terrible things?"

 

No. Honestly, I consider that thread hilarious. I mean, it's just a dick, why the hell does anyone care? I am basically 100% comfortable with nudity, and routinely take my clothes off at dance clubs (I usually get told to put them back on when it gets down to the pants. They are ok with shirts, when when I'm about to get totally nude, they're like "Please, seriously... put your clothes back on.")

Chicks make out with me over this, and the other thing they really like is when I'll kiss dudes, girls throw themselves at me when I do this. I guess it's not that different than drunk chicks kissing each other for attention, but that does work the other way too.

 

I really don't care about nudity slightly, so having done it, it means nothing to me. Wanna see my dick, fine. Here it is. If it had only been shopped around and made fun of or whatever, that would be great.

 

I've done some atrocious things, but none of them were to myself. I'll pretty much do anything to myself and think it's funny, my only regret is that it wasn't a better penis to show everyone. I tried hard to get myself to full erection, but whatever. It's a dick, not unlike every other dick you've seen. Enjoy it or don't. I only wish it were still on this site to show off.

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I have an interview for a paid internship tomorrow. My sleep schedule has been so out of whack for the past month that it's become common for me to wake up at one in the afternoon. I woke up today at 1:30, but by some stroke of luck, I was not only in bed by 10:30, but in the early stages of sleep before 11. Then the phone rang. It was my friend, who's got an interview for the same internship and had some questions. There are several available, so I didn't mind answering the questions in a non-sabotaging kind of way. Naturally, I couldn't fall back asleep after I got off the phone and find myself close to wide awake nearly three hours later. My question is, do I murder my friend?

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Milky, I feel like I'm wasting my formative high school years. I'm a senior this year, and I hope this summer wasn't an omen for my senior year (500 posts on TSM, staying home often, etc). I really want to have a more quintessential senior year; going to parties a lot, not sitting at home, that kind of shit. I try to go out a lot, but things usually fall apart or something. Any tips?

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I'm obviously not Milky, but as someone whose high school years are getting further back in the rearview mirror, I'll say that it's best to not buy into the belief that high school really is the best time of your life. Yeah, do what you can to embrace the friendships that'll be tested by being split up and things of that sort. But don't go into your senior year thinking you have to make it the most incredible experience you've ever or will ever have. By time I was a senior, it had become painfully clear the school was just babysitting us until graduation rolled around. So when it came time to finally hit the bricks, I was more than happy to oblige.

 

Truth be told, college is where it's at. At that's coming from someone who spent three years in community college, followed by a year of commuting to school. Most of the clique nonsense doesn't it make it past the door and it's as if everyone can just be themselves. Sure, you've still got your popular and not-so-popular folks. But it's a much more laid back atmosphere to the point that I don't think I've ever MISSED high school.

 

As far as your summer goes, don't feel bad. I spent the summer before my senior year in similar fashion. Even time spent with friends led to nothing terribly notable. As it was, most of my summer nights were spent here (and WDI~!), while my best friend and I lamented on AIM how pathetic our summer had been.

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Yeah, do what you can to embrace the friendships that'll be tested by being split up and things of that sort

 

I understand that i won't see 99% of the people I know now again, but that's not compelling me to do anything different.

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Milky, I feel like I'm wasting my formative high school years. I'm a senior this year, and I hope this summer wasn't an omen for my senior year (500 posts on TSM, staying home often, etc). I really want to have a more quintessential senior year; going to parties a lot, not sitting at home, that kind of shit. I try to go out a lot, but things usually fall apart or something. Any tips?

 

I spent my senior year in jail, and the previous summer fucking girls I just met and doing meth. Ironically I still managed to post on TSM a fair amount. High school meant absolutely nothing to me. And I mean that literally. Nothing. Not education, not friendships, not hookups. My entire life was outside, I was basically just a ghost there. But I do know about wanting to go out and it falling apart. You basically have to know a lot of people. People in general are unreliable, so if you know a ton of them, odds of any one of them flaking out on you making a difference decrease proportionately. Extend your social networks.

Also, you're a pot smoker. Be the guy who always has and can provide weed. That'll help.

 

What is your opinion on Andrew WK? He, like you, looks like a different person in every picture.

 

I'm a big fan of Andrew WK, and I actually liked him before he was very well known. He is one of three artists who have made me cry from sheer joy (while drunk). The other two are the Cure and the Spice Girls. Wow, I'm gay. But yeah, he's awesome, and he is a powerfully attractive man.

Good friend of mine always needles me about it, though. "You know how I know you're gay? You like Andrew WK." he says (and he knows I cried over the Cure and the Spice Girls... still goes to Andrew WK).

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Actually no, it was the summer after, come to think of it. I was class of 2001, and I started like a month or so before 9/11. Like I said, it meant nothing to me, and I was on a lot of drugs, so the timeline can escape me.

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Guest Vitamin X

Remember when Dames banned that one guy for his comments on the 9/11 attacks? Ha. Who was that?

 

Also, like Milky, I didn't really GO to school my senior year, or even my junior year. When I was there, I felt like basically a ghost. I was severely truant my junior year and fairly bad my senior year, though not as bad. High school education in this country though, is a total joke- I don't think I learned a thing since junior high until my second year of college or so. But with that said, high school is primo time to fuck off and do whatever you want- disregard what Chong said. College is fun, and can be pretty chill, but depending on what school you go to, some people are so well-established in that they went to high school together and are now in college together as well, that the clique thing carries over. The difference is, most people in college have a lot more going on outside of school, so making plans is difficult, and people will flake out even moreso than they may seem to now. As Milky said, extend your social networks now, and then even when you're in college, you'll still have more options.

 

One strangely harrowing thing for me is that all of my long term relationships occured at the end/right after high school. Most of my flings and fuck-buddy relationships occured while I was a minor. That may be more telling of living in the suburbs than of my age, though, since I moved into more urban areas after I was 19.

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I guess it depends where you end up. For me, high school was completely characterized by cliques. Community college doesn't leave much time for cliques, since most are just going to class and then going home. I can see how this wouldn't be the case at a University. After all, I'm still a commuter even though I've since transferred to a University.

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For me university had some people still hang out with high school friends, but for the most part everyone opened up and branched out. I'd say you don't have to worry about clique stuff in Uni at a big school because it will be so easy to meet so many people the law of averages says you'll have to become tight with at least a few of them.

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Why are you letting Rando write a book about you?

 

Well, I couldn't really stop him, so I suppose a more appropriate question is why I'm helping him. I like to hear people talk about me, I like attention. Plus, a book about me will be a great icebreaker and pick up line. It also helps me out to talk about my life, I learn things, like I've done here. In addition, like I was saying how I sort of might want to publish something, but I didn't really feel like making the effort. Well, if I have a book about me already out, that makes it much easier to do, particularly if, god help us, anybody actually reads the book besides people I know.

If I can actually make this comedy thing work, I will use it to branch out to scripts and things. If I actually became famous, the book that some guy wrote about me before I was would be the funniest thing ever.

 

 

Something else I just realized from what VX was saying. Since I was trying to find a girlfriend, I thought about if any of my serious ones had anything in common. They do... I met almost all of them on the internet. This is probably because I seem like a lunatic, so they have to get to know me first, unless they're crazy. I've gotta go join match.com!

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- You mentioned earlier you lost a lot of respect for girls during college because of your ability to pick them up despite being in such rough shape that the upholstery of your mom's car wasn't safe. Were these girls attractive, traditional or otherwise? Or were they kind who resided among the bottom rungs of the superficial ladder?

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How do you get over someone?

 

Brief breakdown..

 

I dated this girl for about 8 months (My longest relationship), and she broke up with me. All right, fine.. We remained really close. We'd still talk every night on the phone, and hang out maybe 2-4 times a week, still getting physical. This went on for about another 4 months, making the relationship feel more like a year, as I didn't really consider us apart. Then, she got a new boy. That was alright too. Still remained close, it didn't bother me at all, I loved her, and I loved her in my life and really appreciated our friendship. Nothing more physical happened besides one time when we were drunk and kissed a little.. but whatever, what do you expect? So.. about 3 or 4 weeks ago, for no reason at all, she stopped calling. We talked on MSN, but didn't hang out for days. When I asked her about it she said, "I just need some space from you." Well, I got kind of screwed around more than once during our relationship. She never cheated on me (that I know of), but just felt like she was toying with my emotions sometimes. So I figured, whatever. I thought it was bullshit that she "needed space from me", and took it as her cutting me out of her life because she had a new boy and didn't need me anymore. I tried explaining all that to her and her response was "Just stop caring!" Well, fuck you too, I thought. I blocked her on MSN, and we haven't talked since. I cracked, and tried to phone her once about a week ago, but she told her mom she was "busy", and didn't answer the phone.

 

So.. for the most part I've been getting over her. Still, whenever I hear about her or see a picture or something, I get really bad anxiety. I wish we could still be close friends like we were. Everytime I let someone close to me they fuck me over. I'm moving to Toronto on September 6th, so I think it might be best for me to just continue to stay away and not think about her, and when I get to Toronto I never have to worry about her again. At the same time, I do want to hang out with her again at least once before I go... Just to mend bridges, and then at least I can add her back to MSN and we can be friends online when I'm gone. I want to be able to think of her as a good friend, and not some girl who broke my heart. Especially since last time I saw her, I left on a bad note. We have no real reason to be mad at each other. Maybe she just doesn't like me anymore. Which is stupid, since just a week before she stopped calling, she said she loved me and thought "I was the guy she was going to end up marrying". It's just so shitty, how you can be so close to someone, and share a large part of your life with them, and then never see them again. I don't know.. ugh.

 

Sorry if you had to read all that and it bored you. This is the first time I've shared the whole story with someone since it all went down, so maybe I just needed to get that out of my system and rant. Anyways, what do you think I should do? Try to rebuild our friendship, or just never talk to her again? I've also thought about waiting until I got to Toronto and then unblocking her on MSN, and hopefully building an "internet relationship" at that time. Would that be best?

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