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Movie Theater etiquette

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Maybe I'm the only one, but doesn't it kind of bother you that it's now socially acceptable to make jokes during a movie? Especially because more often than not, the joker is in fact not actually funny. Also, parents need to take their crying children out of theaters (on a similar note, your child does not need a lecture mid-movie on how profanity is bad after will ferrell says "shit").

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Oh man, I could go on and on with this topic - just a few really annoying examples of things that piss me off when I'm at a movie theater....

 

-Fucking stinky assholes putting their feet up on the seats literally right next to me, I've even had idiots put their feet up on my armrest, literally right next to my arm/elbow. I understand some seats are not very comfortable, but if someone is close to you, use a little common sense!

 

-The whole cell phone thing, you would be surprised how many people still have their cell ringers on and actually still answer the phone. At least turn the phone on vibrate....its one thing to reply to a text message in a theatre, its another thing to fuckin answer your phone.

 

-I dont mind people having a little discussion during a film, but if they are having ongoing conversations, and/or cracking endless jokes within a group, etc, then its gets old. Its especially prevelant when you are in a movie that is jam-packed with people. In those situations I always seem to be right in front of a group who just wont shut the fuck up. What bugs me more particularly is when some idiots have to repeat jokes in a film right after it's said. I had to deal with this throughout the whole damn Simpsons movie.

 

-Babies (kids under a few years old) at ANY movie. Get a fucking babysitter, people. I would think babies dont take well do loud theatres. It aint rocket science.

 

-Young children who can't sit still at films that are clearly not meant for them to be seen. Its fine if they are brought to kids films, as those films are geared towards them, and if they are loud, etc, it just is what it is and I would still expect parents to act accordingly, but I have no remorse for shit when parents bring their young kids to adult movies, such as horror, etc. When I went to the TCM remake years ago, some idiot family brought three kids with - two of them looked 3-4 years old and then a baby not more than 6 months old. Absolutely ridiculous.

 

I'm sure I'll have more later but thats it for now.

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Nah, only retards "joke loudly" during a film and thats to try and impress their retarded friends. People pay money to watch a movie, not listen to someone being a Jackass.

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Guest Vitamin X

I think it really depends on the theatre, and what kind of area it's located in, as crappy theatres in crappy areas will have more people like that. I just deal with them or get a manager. At least then maybe I'll get a raincheck movie ticket or something for it.

 

The only time I find it acceptable to fuck around during a movie is if it's especially/universally bad, or a comedy/cheesy action flick, or if you're watching at home.

 

 

 

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In August, we were having loud talker problems seemingly every show. The worst was a group of people during Rush Hour 3 who felt that it was ok to have conversations with each other - not whispering, but just ditzy girls asking guys stupid plot questions out loud and them answering, or whatever dumb things they began discussing - during dialogue scenes, but being quiet during scenes where the music would have drowned them out.

 

Before Halloween, we specifically looked for seats that had no one above them (which wasn't hard since this was the first Tuesday in September so kids had gone back to school... and it was Halloween). Well, wouldn't you know, some noisy people walk in during the beginning of the movie (another peeve of mine - learn to read showtimes and account for travel time, people) and immediately begin annoying our group by talking in, excuse what may be perceived as stereotyping, "black woman speak" ("EX-cuse me! We gonna sit here, you gots a problem with that? Didna think so" - apparently the people two rows up had their feet on the seats) and the talking was fairly constant with the guys they were with. They were told to be quiet a few times and eventually complied.

 

I'm not sure if it's just a light sensitivity issue with me (one of my friends agrees with me, another was actually guilty of doing this albeit only during trailers) but people sending text messages on their phone to avoid talking on it is just as annoying to me. It causes a light source to emit from somewhere that should be dark and I find it really distracting. Just shut your f***ing phones off, people. I remember some woman kept opening her cell phone during Die Hard and it was driving me nuts.

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When I went to see Land of the Dead, some woman actually brought a baby in a stroller AND a todler with her. The usual kid and baby in a movie theatre bullshit ensues and people kept booing and complaining.. Either way when she was finally asked to leave everyone started clapping and cheering. "FUCK YOU!" was her response. Classy! :P

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I actually crack jokes all the time, but I really am funny, so I think it's ok. Everybody always laughs. I'm Htom Sirveaux, bitch!

 

I can pick my moments though, I had this same problem when I saw Simpsons. This guy kept saying "DAMN!" after every single fucking joke. I eventually turned around and said "Shut the fuck up." to general applause. He did. I also never went back to that theater. There's funny and then there's annoying... you have to know when to draw the line.

 

Quite honestly, the last time I had to deal with little kids was during Hostel 2. Why the fuck would you bring your kids to that, anyway?

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There were a bunch of kids laughing everytime they said 'Fingerlings' during the Number 23, but it's not like they were going to ruin that piece of shit for me.

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rule of thumb: NEVER go to a movie/movie theater that all the blacks will likely go to...that's free advice for you all.

 

Unless you're going to see something you know will suck or might possibly suck. Sitting in the theater watching the first SAW movie would have just pissed me off and led to me and my friends cracking jokes on it, but thankfully the whole theater was in that mood.

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Guest Smues

Something I hate about kids in theaters, even when it's a movie aimed at kids, is when the parents let them run loose around the theater. Yeah I expect a 5 year old kid to be a little loud and react to the movie, that's fine. But it isn't cool when that kid is running up and down the stairs for the entire movie, or running through the aisles, or pushing an empty baby stroller back and forth in front of the screen for the entire movie (saw that happen at Ice Age 2. )

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Answering a cell phone DURING a movie REALLY pisses me off. Thought texting doesn't really bother me.

 

Texting / looking at a glow in the dark clock is one of those things that really shouldn't bother me, but I've been sitting in the 4th row from the top of a theatre in an aisle seat and I'll get distracted by someone all the way on the other aisle 20 rows down opening their phone. It's just that sudden burst of light.

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The funniest time I heard jokes at a movie theatre was during opening night of Spiderman 3. Two african american guys sitting behind us had the whole theatre roaring.

 

-After the infamous dance scene.. "What the FUUUUUCK."

 

-When MJ kisses Harry "Aw, she a ho."

 

-a douche wearing a too tight spidey costume walks into the theatre a little late, and one of the guys yells "I can see your dick, dude!"

 

 

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Old School came out on my 21st birthday.

 

There is a minor character named Walsh in the movie, which is my last name. Everytime his name was mentioned I would scream it at the top of my lungs, because I actually went to see it after trying and failing to do my 21 shots.

 

People thought it was funny, but looking back I'm glad I didn't get beat up. I was in no shape to defend myself.

 

And that was the only time I've ever been a dick at the movie theater.

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The only time I've been a dick in the theaters was during a Sunday matinee showing of Reign of Fire, the only people in the audience were me, three friends, a couple in their early 20s sitting in the back and some oldish guy. Me and my buds kept making wise cracks during the movie and the old guy got really pissed. Granted, we were kind of being dicks but A. it's a shitty movie, B.There were only eight people in the audience and C. He could have moved elsewhere. Dude sat next to us for no reason.

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For people that are going to movie hop: Hey it's cool, I used to do it as a youth all the time, but listen up, when you come into the theater I am in, because you need a place to hideout for 10-20 mins, please STFU while you are in there, if not, then basically expect someone to rat you out.

 

Also, some arthouse theaters play some movies with the intention for film noir fans to come together for a night of fun heckling at the big movie screen(www.trashfilmorgy.com), so for the love of god, please be funny when you yell your joke out at the top of your lungs......I remember during a screening of The ReAnimator in 2004, it was right before the Presidential Election and someone kept referring to the professor as John Kerry....it was funny the first few times, but after while it was tiresome.

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The funniest time I heard jokes at a movie theatre was during opening night of Spiderman 3. Two african american guys sitting behind us had the whole theatre roaring.

 

-After the infamous dance scene.. "What the FUUUUUCK."

 

-When MJ kisses Harry "Aw, she a ho."

 

-a douche wearing a too tight spidey costume walks into the theatre a little late, and one of the guys yells "I can see your dick, dude!"

 

See, this can only enhance the movie's experience

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The funniest time I heard jokes at a movie theatre was during opening night of Spiderman 3. Two african american guys sitting behind us had the whole theatre roaring.

 

-After the infamous dance scene.. "What the FUUUUUCK."

 

-When MJ kisses Harry "Aw, she a ho."

 

-a douche wearing a too tight spidey costume walks into the theatre a little late, and one of the guys yells "I can see your dick, dude!"

 

See, this can only enhance the movie's experience

 

No.

 

and why were they looking at Spidey-Geek's dick?

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Very simple. Shut the fuck up, put your God damn phone on silent, and keep your feet to the floor unless its a dead crowd. I don't mind a few jokes during the movie, but I HATE having to hear fan commentary.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

I usually get into movies for free, and talk through the entire thing, or make comments and wisecracks. Then again, there hasn't been a movie I was really hell-bent on sitting quietly and enjoying in the theaters..ever.

 

Shushers are more annoying than my talking, especially if I'm with a bunch of people and we're all doing it during something stupid.

 

"Would you shut up?"

"MAKE me, cunt."

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The whole thing about "black theaters" is overblown. I usually go to horror flicks near my house where it's considered "the ghetto theater" and I actually really enjoy them there. I don't usually hear the stereotypical bullshit about people yelling at the screen, usually the crowds are really into it and it makes the movie more fun to watch (Saw was great with a "black audience").

 

The thing I hate the most is when someone puts their feet on the back of your chair and pushes or kicks, that shit makes me want to break jaws.

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The only time I've ever really experienced this problem is when we saw "The Haunting" back in the late 90's. Remember the scene during the first Scary Movie where the black girl keeps yelling at the screen during the movie? Well, it was pretty much the same situation here. SOme random black girl kept yelling "BITCH RUN!", and "AAAAAAH! DON'T RUN IN THERE! HE GON' GIT YOU!". Fucking annoying.

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I worked in a cinema for a few months last year, and it was like therapy. I got to bust so many twats for things that pissed me off when I wanted to watch movies, it was amazing.

 

Not only was I kicking people out for answering their phones, I was giving them warnings for even turning their phone on and radiant the -5 magnitude light beam around the cinema. I even made this one group of kids clean up their own shit after the movie, now that was power.

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