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Am I reading this correctly? Michael Bay is involved in remakes of Nightmare on Elm Street AND Friday the 13th?

Yes, tragically, that is correct. Because he did such a GREAT job with the two new Texas Chainsaw flicks, don't ya know.

 

I suppose these horror remakes actually make money, sadly enough. I mean, shit, how many have there been? Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Chainsaw prequel, The Hills Have Eyes, THHE 2, The Fog, Assault on Precinct 13, Halloween, When a Stranger Calls, The Wicker Man... ugh... probably several more I'm forgetting. And exactly ONE of them, Dawn of the Dead, has been any good at all.

 

THE THING and THE FLY seem to get a lot of love as they are great movies and they were remakes. Not every remake has been shit as much as fans want to believe this.

 

 

Fuck Michael Bay.

 

This really does not need to happen. Neither does Friday the 13th. As a 80s slasher film mark, this really pisses me off.

 

For the record, Nightmare II was a pile of toss. Nightmare 3 is almost as good as the first one. I even enjoyed 4,5 and 6.

 

Furthermore for the record, the press release is incorrect:

 

Originally played by Robert Englund, the Krueger character haunted nine films and two TV series in what was New Line’s most lucrative franchise until “The Lord of the Rings.”

 

Krueger haunted 8 films. Nightmare 1-5, Freddy's Dead, New Nightmare and Freddy vs Jason. Unless they count Freddy's apperance at the end of Jason goes to hell.

 

Actually, Englund didn't play "Freddy" at the end of JASON GOES TO HELL, that was Kane Hodder.

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On the other hand, I see a lot of potential for the Friday the 13th relaunch. I love every aspect of that series, no matter how overdone or stupid. Jason's been cookie cutter for a long time anyway, and I didn't care.

 

Will this be set in the early 80s? That'd be swank. Current setting? Cool too.

 

Jason X and FvsJ show a much better understanding of the series strengths than Goes to Hell and Takes Manhattan did. For no reason at all, here is my rank of the Friday series:

 

4, 3, 7, 1, 6, 2, X, 5, 8, Goes to Hell.

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Am I reading this correctly? Michael Bay is involved in remakes of Nightmare on Elm Street AND Friday the 13th?

Yes, tragically, that is correct. Because he did such a GREAT job with the two new Texas Chainsaw flicks, don't ya know.

 

I suppose these horror remakes actually make money, sadly enough. I mean, shit, how many have there been? Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Chainsaw prequel, The Hills Have Eyes, THHE 2, The Fog, Assault on Precinct 13, Halloween, When a Stranger Calls, The Wicker Man... ugh... probably several more I'm forgetting. And exactly ONE of them, Dawn of the Dead, has been any good at all.

 

THE THING and THE FLY seem to get a lot of love as they are great movies and they were remakes. Not every remake has been shit as much as fans want to believe this.

 

 

Fuck Michael Bay.

 

This really does not need to happen. Neither does Friday the 13th. As a 80s slasher film mark, this really pisses me off.

 

For the record, Nightmare II was a pile of toss. Nightmare 3 is almost as good as the first one. I even enjoyed 4,5 and 6.

 

Furthermore for the record, the press release is incorrect:

 

Originally played by Robert Englund, the Krueger character haunted nine films and two TV series in what was New Line’s most lucrative franchise until “The Lord of the Rings.”

 

Krueger haunted 8 films. Nightmare 1-5, Freddy's Dead, New Nightmare and Freddy vs Jason. Unless they count Freddy's apperance at the end of Jason goes to hell.

 

Actually, Englund didn't play "Freddy" at the end of JASON GOES TO HELL, that was Kane Hodder.

 

Well, yeah. It was a friggin hand.

 

Also, the Thing wasn't a remake. It was another take on the novella "Who Goes There." Much like "The Last Man on Earth", "The Omega Man", and "I am Legend" aren't remakes of eachother, they're different takes on the short story "I am Legend" by Richard Matheson. Same goes for the Fly movies - different takes on the short story by George Langelaan.

 

Remakes, IMO, are when someone elses original movie/screenplay/teleplay is taken and "changed to fit the times" or given "a new vision" or some other lame ass justificaiton.

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THE THING and THE FLY seem to get a lot of love as they are great movies and they were remakes. Not every remake has been shit as much as fans want to believe this.

That's not a fair comparison. We're talking about the recent spree of remakes over the past few years, while those happened over two decades ago. Plus, those were both made by legitimate auteurs with artistic talent (well, Cronenberg moreso than Carpenter), while all these new flicks are being made by MTV hacks who have zero understanding of the artform and are strictly in it for the money.

 

For no reason at all, here is my rank of the Friday series:

 

4, 3, 7, 1, 6, 2, X, 5, 8, Goes to Hell.

This sounds like fun.

 

FvJ, 6, 1, 2, 4, X, 8, 7, 3, 5, GtH

 

 

I've thought since high school that it would be interesting to do a sort of avant-garde reimagining of Jason. Not something like all the modern remakes, something more along the lines of what Batman Begins turns out to be. Of course the source material is much weaker, but that gives you much more room to experiment.

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At this point, as much as I hate remakes, I just can't get upset anymore. It's going to happen anyways, and as much as I want to, I can't bring myself to get angry. Maybe because I usually avoid remakes. Hell, these movies are already been/going to be remade

 

Prom Night (It will be PG-13. How that is possible is beyond me)

Scanners

Motel Hell

My Bloody Valentne

April Fool's Day

The Wolf Man

The Crazies

The Birds

Blood the Last Vampire

Suspiria

Hellraiser

It's Alive

A Tale of Two Sisters

Sisters

 

That out of the way, I do agree that remakeing NOEM is a bad idea overall.

 

April Fool's Day is good, cheesy fun, so hopefully the remake will follow suit. About My Bloody Valentine, I assume that's the remake of the one about the town with a crazed miner that goes around cutting people's hearts out with a pick axe? I didn't know there was another film of the same name. Motel Hell should be fun. Now, Hellraiser? I thought this series had descended into direct-to-video Hell? I guess they can only do so much. Like Nightmare on Elm Street's Freddy, I can't see anyone else except Doug Bradley playing Pinhead, so I hope he sticks around.

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If they're remaking April Fools Day will they have the truly awful ending? And I might be alone on this, but I really like My Bloody Valentine.

 

Frankly, I just don't think Bay can top the awesomeness that was Jason X.

 

QFT.

 

I don't much care if they remake Friday the 13th. It's not like any of those are really GOOD movies to begin with. Entertaining crap perhaps, but not really good.

 

You hush your mouth! Final Chapter was all kinds of awesome.

 

This sounds like fun.

 

FvJ, 6, 1, 2, 4, X, 8, 7, 3, 5, GtH

 

I'd have to go:

 

4,3,7,6,1,X,FvJ,2,5,8,GtH

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I really don't acknowledge anything that follows the original eight. If memory serves, Part 2 is the one that shows bush... I like that one...

 

Friday the 13th Part 2

Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter

Friday the 13th Part 3: In 3-D

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

Friday the 13th Part VII The New Blood

Friday the 13th Part VIII Jason Takes Manhattan

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

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I really don't acknowledge anything the follows the original eight. If memory serves, Part 2 is the one that shows bush... I like that one...

 

Friday the 13th Part 2

Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter

Friday the 13th Part 3: In 3-D

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

Friday the 13th Part VII The New Blood

Friday the 13th Part VIII Jason Takes Manhattan

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

 

Yea Part 2 is the one with the girl skinny dipping in Crystal Lake with full frontal nudity. I like how the length of her hair goes from really short at the beginning of the movie (in the early afternoon), to shoulder length by the time she gets killed (later in the evening). She was hot nonetheless.

 

I would rank them in this order:

 

7 , 3 , 2 , 1 , 6 , 5 , JGTH , 8 , X

 

Part 5 has way too many "so bad it's good" moments for me to rank it at the bottom.

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I'm fine with a remake if Englund is allowed to reprise his role. I mean who cares if he's old, he's going to be in the suit and make-up anyway!

 

If they don't, what's the point? It'll make the Halloween remake look like a Godsend!

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Am I reading this correctly? Michael Bay is involved in remakes of Nightmare on Elm Street AND Friday the 13th?

Yes, tragically, that is correct. Because he did such a GREAT job with the two new Texas Chainsaw flicks, don't ya know.

 

I suppose these horror remakes actually make money, sadly enough. I mean, shit, how many have there been? Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Chainsaw prequel, The Hills Have Eyes, THHE 2, The Fog, Assault on Precinct 13, Halloween, When a Stranger Calls, The Wicker Man... ugh... probably several more I'm forgetting. And exactly ONE of them, Dawn of the Dead, has been any good at all.

 

HEYHEYHEY!!!

 

Assault on Precinct 13 didn't deserve to carry the name of the original, but that wasn't a bad movie. Full of shit, but not bad.

 

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I really don't acknowledge anything the follows

 

Part 5 has way too many "so bad it's good" moments for me to rank it at the bottom.

 

Yeah, how about the techno-slut doing her quasi-robot dance in the room before she is slaughtered? Campy goodness!!!

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One thing I never understood about the F13 movies...how is Crystal Lake constantly allowed to have visitors considering there are some 130+ people scattered all about? Surely the police, the Army, SOMEONE would have condemned and quarantined the whole area at some point, no?

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One thing I never understood about the F13 movies...how is Crystal Lake constantly allowed to have visitors considering there are some 130+ people scattered all about? Surely the police, the Army, SOMEONE would have condemned and quarantined the whole area at some point, no?

 

 

Well noone really knows the timeline between each movie (besides 4-6 because of the Tommy Jarvis character) so basically by the time the next movie starts "Jason Voorhees" is reduced to a campfire tale that people don't really believe happened....I mean I would imagine like any business, if something tagic happened, it would take awhile but eventually you re-open for business, and especially in the earlier movies because Jason wasn't a Super-Indestructable Jason Zombie until Part 6.....

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HEYHEYHEY!!!

 

Assault on Precinct 13 didn't deserve to carry the name of the original, but that wasn't a bad movie. Full of shit, but not bad.

Actually I guess I should retract that one, since I didn't see the remake. I just assumed since it was a remake of a Carpenter flick, it was shite. Hell, even Carpenter can't successfully remake his own stuff: see Escape From L.A.

 

Part 5 has way too many "so bad it's good" moments for me to rank it at the bottom.

Yeah, how about the techno-slut doing her quasi-robot dance in the room before she is slaughtered? Campy goodness!!!

Still, the gore sucked and "Jason" was just a copycat. Plus, the howling hillbillies Ethel and Junior are about the most terrifying and least funny "comic relief" of all time.

 

One thing I never understood about the F13 movies...how is Crystal Lake constantly allowed to have visitors considering there are some 130+ people scattered all about? Surely the police, the Army, SOMEONE would have condemned and quarantined the whole area at some point, no?

Dude, didn't you read all the reviews I posted back home? The F13 series has the WORST attention to continuity of all time. Practically every one of those movies acts like the majority of the others never happened. Don't even try to make sense of it, not even in a joking manner. That way madness lies.

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I liked Friday part 6 and especially 7. Jason took some crazy bumps and sold to put over the new girl, Tina in part 7. Some pretty gruesome and creative deaths too. Jason's make up was great (at the time).

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I think the Jason makeup in pt. 7 still holds up fairly well. I just hated how he went from being near-skeletal to just "pruney" in pt. 8. Even his clothes were repaired.

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Don't get me started. I've written reviews for the entire series. If the gleeful F13 nerdiness continues, then I'm posting all of them here.

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Wow, in the spirit of our discussion I popped in Freddy's Revenge and... gay... bad... just very gay and bad...

 

But I would suppose that having my own personal copy of said movie is pretty gay in and of itself (even if it is a DVD rip).

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I liked Friday part 6 and especially 7. Jason took some crazy bumps and sold to put over the new girl, Tina in part 7. Some pretty gruesome and creative deaths too. Jason's make up was great (at the time).

 

Why must we use wrestling lingo when talking about EVERYTHING around here. (Yes I know this is a wrestling forum but c'mon)

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Looking at the listings, am I alone in thinking that part 6 was an entertaining hilarity and that part 3 was lazy crap? I know I'm in the minority on my feeling of 8>7, but I don't understand the viewpoint of 3>6.

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Was 3 the one with the 3 gang members as well as the curly haired fat kid that only wanted to have someone to love? Yeah I didn't like that one.

 

6 is great!

 

"This is gonna be a hairy turn"

 

*makes a hard right turn, Tommy's face goes in to her crotch*

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I liked Ft13th Part 3....I really wish I was old enough to have seen it in theaters in 3D....haha.

 

I heard that the 3D effects were really shitty, but I still would have like to have seen this. I am sure that there are a good number of prints out there that are just collecting dust.

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Was 3 the one with the 3 gang members as well as the curly haired fat kid that only wanted to have someone to love? Yeah I didn't like that one.

Yes, Part 3 is the one where the first ever non-white characters in an F13 film appear... and they're two gang members and one poor Mexican who tries to pay with food stamps at a gas station. It also features a sex scene and nudity from only one girl... and she's pregnant, which the movie seems to have forgotten about by the time she's in the shower or getting killed via machete through the tit. And it ignores the fact that Jason had been damn near split in half the night before, he acts like nothing's wrong. And it makes Jason look completely different from Part 2, for no real reason. And it has a distasteful rape-ish backstory for the Final Girl. And it's all filmed in shitty 3D which mostly consists of such incredibly lazy shit of someone holding a stick up towards the camera, ooh, exciting. And they didn't even try to explain why Jason was killing these new people. And it had the annoying fat guy. And the gore looked like crap. Part 3 blew.

 

6 is great!

Yes, it was. It was one of the few Friday the 13ths that didn't take itself so damn seriously, it poked fun at itself. Plus you got stuff that the rest of the movies just never showed, like Jason walking around in daylight, or actual children inhabiting the kid's summer camp.

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