Wrestling Observer Notes are back like Jordan wearing the 45

[BUTT 0]

Rumble match evaluations based on the antiquated method of star ratings:

 

Flair-MVP: **

Jericho-JBL: *1/2

Edge-Rey: ***1/4

Orton-Hardy: ***

Rumble: ****

 

Dave says the WM main event will mostly be Cena-HHH. HHH would rather wrestle Cena than Orton at the show and Michael Hayes, who of course is best known as Dok Hendrix (named after his favorite musical acts, Dokken and Jimi Hendrix), wants to do a boxing-like "HHH-Cena II"-type promotion for the match.

 

John Laurinaitis has been getting heat recently because of so top stars, such as Lashley, leaving the company under bad terms, but his job isn't in danger because there's no one in line to replace him. Lashley, in addition to being upset with his quarter-of-a-million-dollars Wrestlemania payoff, had disagreements with the aforementioned Mr. Hayes. And of course the Kristal Marshall firing may have had something to do with it.

 

Michael Buffer in WCW was seen as being "aloof". So Jerry Lawler tried to talk to him backstage at the Rumble and apparently felt the same way. Too bad.

 

Candice should be back soon. She's booked on house shows as early as the 11th. I guess that means she could be on Raw on Monday. (No, dumbass, Raw is taped this week.) Oh sorry. I guess that means she could be on Raw NEXT Monday! But Dave didn't say that. It's just an educated guess.

 

Dave spends almost an entire page-length summarizing two recent RVD interviews. Hey Dave, if we wanted to know what RVD said in those interviews we'd read them ourselves.

 

JBL apparently has an energy drink coming out called "MamaJuana Energy" which "will be marketed as an herbal aphrodisiac". DIRTY

 

Whenever Dave reports on the fans chanting "Cena sucks," he spells it "sux."

 

Carlito's brother Eddie Colon starts in FCW this week.

 

A beloved ex-WWE superstar is is negotiations to return. I won't tell you who he is, but he's a giant muscular Australian who appeared in "Troy". That oughta narrow it down.

 

Don't just say thanks, comment on the news.

You really should order the newsletter. Wrestlingobserver.com for details.

[Kristianna 0]

A beloved ex-WWE superstar is is negotiations to return. I won't tell you who he is, but he's a giant muscular Australian who appeared in "Troy". That oughta narrow it down.

 

I dunno, Orlando Bloom... right? Shouldn't be any wellness problems at least.

[2GOLD 0]

 

Awesome, Mr Tick Tock returns to get a Snitsky-like push that will lead to nowhere since he doesn't have the ability or charisma to be interesting.

 

Didn't he quit last time because the schedule was too harsh?

[The Truthiness 0]

Edge-Rey: ***1/4

Orton-Hardy***

 

Will never understand, Dave. lol

[Mecca 0]

We can never have to many guys that lactate milk from their man titties.

[Craig Th 0]

wants to do a boxing-like "HHH-Cena II"-type promotion for the match.

 

This is a great idea.

[BUTT 0]

JBL apparently has an energy drink coming out called "MamaJuana Energy" which "will be marketed as an herbal aphrodisiac". DIRTY

Oh and to expand on this, the newest F4W newsletter reports that JBL was recently on Opie and Anthony to promote the MamaJuana drink, which he referred to as "boner juice". So they had a bunch of dudes test it out and it didn't work. Ha ha.

 

Also, it's 43 bucks for a 12-pack.

[Jaxxson Mayhem 0]

Rumble match evaluations based on the antiquated method of star ratings:

A beloved ex-WWE superstar is is negotiations to return. I won't tell you who he is, but he's a giant muscular Australian who appeared in "Troy". That oughta narrow it down.

 

 

Kurgan?

[MillenniumMan831 0]

Re: The Austrian strongman and the Aunt Jamima energy drink . . .

 

Oh yeah, this can't miss.

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

It ain't to play games witchu

It's to aim at you, probably maim you

If I owe you I'm blowin you to smithereeens

Cocksucker take one for your team

 

 

...

 

Thanks for postin' this shit bro.

[Bruiser Chong 0]

A beloved ex-WWE superstar is is negotiations to return. I won't tell you who he is, but he's a giant muscular Australian who appeared in "Troy". That oughta narrow it down.

[MillenniumMan831 0]

Now that Killer Khan is gone from WWF/E, I suppose he thinks it's safe for a return.

[cabbageboy 0]

So from the sound of this HHH basically wants Cena at this WM so he can beat him instead of Orton? I don't think HHH can afford another WM main event loss, since he hasn't actually won at WM since 2003 vs. Booker T.

 

What is Orton going to do at WM then? Job out to Batista? Do nothing in another MITB match?

[haws bah gawd 0]

Thanks for posting these. I've missed the occasional posting of the Observer notes.

 

I wouldn't mind Nathan Jones returning, as long as he's strictly someone's muscle, and never EVER allowed to work a full match. The guy has a psychotic monster look, but can't wrestle worth a crap.

[Hawk 34 0]

Batista is the best option, really. It's quite easy to set up as well. Batista is also left in the dark and unless they feed him the returning TBS, there isn't a top name guy left for Batista we haven't already seen or isn't already in a spot outside of Shawn and Flair and we can probably assume they'll stick with that plan of those two together.

[Prophet of Mike Zagurski 0]

Cena will win at WM. It wouldn't make sense for Cena to be a transitional champ.

[Mike wanna be 0]

But it makes even LESS sense to go with Cena/HHH II if you're going to end up with the same result as Cena/HHH I. Why would Trips push for the match....to job again? You have to think Flair/HHH II was on the table, why would he turn down a legacy like that to repeat last year's main event?

[claydude14 0]

H is a business man. HHH/Cena II is a much more lucrative main event than HHH/Orton. Put Cena over, let him keep winning and do HHH/Cena III at Summerslam with H finally going over.

[luke-o 0]

Rumble: ****

 

I know the Cena apperance was a big shock to us all. But that match was no way four star quality.

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Dave wasn't feeling Jericho / JBL, eh?

 

Sensei: What were the Thumbs Up / Down / Middle stats?

[bob_barron 0]

I think it was something in the 70s for thumbs up.

 

Apparently they thought of bringing Cena back at the RAW Roulette show, but decided to make it a surprise

[Thanks for the Fish 0]

I hope Nathan Jones does come back, I was a fan. Though as much as I dig big man matches I'm certainly not looking forward to Khali vs Jones and you know that would be pretty inevitable. I also wonder if the Colossus of Boggo Road could pass the Wellness tests.

[BUTT 0]

Dave wasn't feeling Jericho / JBL, eh?

 

Sensei: What were the Thumbs Up / Down / Middle stats?

Up: 440 (86.1 %)

Down 24 (4.7 %)

Middle: 47 (9.2 %)

[Dobbs 3K 0]

Jones certainly had one of the most legitimate "bad ass" looks of anyone in a long time. I just don't see why WWE needs another giant scary guy right now. They've already got Khali, Big V, Kane, Mark Henry, Snitsky, and Paul Wight coming back. Throw in Umaga, and you've got a monster wrestler section that is just begging to be cleared out.

[TheFranchise 0]

Talking about Paul Wight.. when are we going to see him?

 

Will he be the annual first night after WrestleMania surprise?

[foleyfanforever88 0]

Jones certainly had one of the most legitimate "bad ass" looks of anyone in a long time. I just don't see why WWE needs another giant scary guy right now. They've already got Khali, Big V, Kane, Mark Henry, Snitsky, and Paul Wight coming back. Throw in Umaga, and you've got a monster wrestler section that is just begging to be cleared out.

 

Please don't group Kane (or Big Show, for that matter) with the likes of Khali, BDV, Henry, and Snitsky. He's had atleast one good match in his career.

 

Oh, and Nathan Jones is TERRIBLE.

[Diamonddust 0]

Talking about Paul Wight.. when are we going to see him?

 

Will he be the annual first night after WrestleMania surprise?

 

Maybe night after No Way Out to set up a Wrestlemania return match angle.

[cabbageboy 0]

There's no point in having HHH constantly lose to Cena. HHH has already put this man over at WM in Chicago, he jobbed to him at Backlash after that as well. HHH jobbed to him in the Rumble this year. Don't you think it's time for HHH to finally get something back on Cena?

 

Seriously if HHH jobs again at WM this year they need to stop main eventing him at WMs in title matches.

[QuestionMan 0]

The crowd is screaming for Jeff Hardy louder than anyone, but they want Cena vs. HHH again. Okay.

 

Idiots.

[bob_barron 0]

The crowd is screaming for Jeff Hardy louder than anyone, but they want Cena vs. HHH again. Okay.

 

Idiots.

 

The crowd at MSG was screaming much louder for Cena v. HHH then they were for Hardy. Hardy should not be main eventing Wrestlemania yet. I'd rather they do Cena v. Orton though.