Stupid, embarrassing shit you did as a kid

[Cheech Tremendous]

The day that Tupac died I spent the whole night listening to All Eyez On Me crying my eyes out.

[alfdogg]

When I was four, I tried to dive off the top of my slide into a bucket, because I saw Fred Flintstone do it. I got my coat string caught in the slide, and my mom saw me hanging on it outside.

[BruteSquad_BRODY]

I used permanent marker to put Ultimate Warrior make up on my face, I was banned from watching wrestling that saturday...

 

 

[DrVenkman PhD]

I used to jump off the top of monkey bar structures in grade 4 or so (and take a bump) just to show people I could. That didn't last very long though.

[Twisted Intestine]

I took a swing to the top of the Jungle Gym and tried to swing off. I pretty much went straight down and chipped my tooth.

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS!]

I kicked a giant hole in the basement wall as a result of video game frustration, and covered it up with a Doink the Clown "Killer Kalendar" poster. It took a couple of years, but my parents eventually discovered what I had done.

 

They were not happy.

[Lt. Al Giardello]

I would always pretend to be Mankind/Mick Foley and jump off the top of the slide onto the ground.

 

I always liked to smash windows, I would throw rocks, baseballs, hockey pucks, anything through bar windows and run away.

 

Egging people's houses was always fun.

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS!]

Consequences, Simon.

[Lt. Al Giardello]

I did way more stupid shit as a teenager. I can write a fucking novel on the stories I have.

[Brett Favre]

I cut of the sleeves of my red shirt to look like Ken from Street Fighter (to go along with my red pants).

[Maztinho]

Cherry Red Cowboy boots, neon print burmuda shorts, Dukes of Hazzard t-shirt. Every day.

[Guest Czecherbear]

I cut of the sleeves of my red shirt to look like Ken from Street Fighter (to go along with my red pants).

 

I don't think that was really the role you were born to play.

 

Shall I start with preschool and work my way through the years? How do I approach this? It's daunting.

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS!]

I really liked wearing biker shorts. And tucking my t-shirt into my biker shorts.

 

This is really horrible. I think I'm going to a place I should never think about... like my death...

[bob_barron]

I used to pretend to be a different Looney Tunes character and would be that character all day

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS!]

I would act out scenes in Ghostbusters while I watched it. I would also insist on renting it at the video store even though we already had a copy at home.

[RepoMan]

I wore sweatpants to school almost everyday 4-6th grade.

 

In Jr. High I thought I could charm the girl I had a crush on by staring at her constantly in every class we had togeather.

 

No wounder everyone thought I'd go Columbine on my school

[...]

My younger brother pulled the TV down onto himself and I was pissed that I couldn't watch cartoons.

[bob_barron]

Was he okay?

[At Home]

1. I once buttered the monkey bars on a friend's play set.

2. Sweatpants almost every day in Jr. High.

3. Tied a volleyball net between two cabinets. Played with a friend, he fell into the net, cabinets came a-crashing down.

4. Wrote swear words on everything that allowed for some degree of anonymity.

5. Instructed a friend to beat at a cardboard box I was inside with a bat.

6. Lit my sister on fire. Twice.

7. Drew moustaches on my face every day for 3 months in 2nd grade.

8. Threw a baseball bat at a kid for striking me out.

9. Once purposely threw up on a kid's bounce house because he got a present that I wanted.

[Special K]

Shaved my eyebrows.

 

Wore a mullet and a leather vest often. With sweat pants.

 

Peed at the urinal with my pants and drawers around my ankles.

 

Shit my drawers and, ashamed, hid them in the back of a clothes drawer for months.

 

Killed my hamster by swinging it around in a sock. I had no idea this would be hazardous to its health.

 

I had a jabba the hutt playset that had a little "dungeon" compartment in it. I filched a ton of my mom's cosmetics and mixed them in there. I was making potions!

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS!]

Shaved my eyebrows.

 

You just reminded me of the time that I decided that I didn't like having light hairs on my forehead, and, thus, decided to shave said forehead, without the aide of a mirror, and ended up looking like Peter Gabriel in the process. Insult to injury was apportioned as, shortly thereafter, an episode of Scooby Doo Junior or whatever the fuck aired that featured one of the pivotal characters losing their hair.

 

I have no memory of anybody ever noticing, in spite of how obvious it should have been. Not even in P.E. class.

[Nighthawk]

Poured sugar into a tub of butter and ate it with a spoon.

[Lei Tong]

I cried when Frankie Randall beat Chavez.

[Kinetic]

Scooby Doo Junior

 

Funny you should mention that show, as this thread gave me a PCI (potential cartoon idea) for something I'd call "TSM Kidz." It would consist mostly of frumpy, anti-social children in sweatpants torturing squirrels and scrawling curse words on their bedroom walls.

[JJ Johnson]

I clocked the creepy kid across the street/friend by geography because he refused to understand that "says" does not rhyme with "days", and that "Barney Sez" is technically the appropriate pronunciation. Oh, to be three again. That family ended up moving to Australia to avoid his grandparents.

[Jaxxson Mayhem]

Poured sugar into a tub of butter and ate it with a spoon.

 

 

Shoulda used a stick of butter and rubbed it in sugar. Then you could have had a shame stick.

[Guest Czecherbear]

Scooby Doo Junior

 

Funny you should mention that show, as this thread gave me a PCI (potential cartoon idea) for something I'd call "TSM Kidz." It would consist mostly of frumpy, anti-social children in sweatpants torturing squirrels and scrawling curse words on their bedroom walls.

"Jim Henson's TSM Babies" was one of those threads I wanted to start but never did. Was it going to be a concept thread? Was it just going to be us posting our baby pictures? There's one of me as a sailor. It's all in the dustbin of my mind, though. Not the sailor picture, the thread. The sailor picture is in the living room.

 

Like many of us, I belonged to what some people call a "backyard wrestling fed" in my childhood, though I don't like this term because that connotes some sort of juvenile bloodsport whereas we, as smarks, meticulously planned our matches. The whole thing grew out of my desire in 5th grade to have some sort of Olympics with a rival of mine at the time, which in and of itself is absurd enough, but that part never happened and it just ended up being about six of us from the neighborhood planning matches with a few other people who would rotate in and out. ANYWAY, the whole thing evolved from a coarse parody of the WWF (instead of Vader we had Darth HAHAHAHA) to its own sort of freestanding weirdness, not totally unlike the oat toast here, where we would use entrance music (I brought a radio production library into the fold for this but it would be supplanted by metal thanks to the older kids), make TitanTrons (I'd make a logo in photoshop and fix the camcorder on it for a few secs, we'd hit pause on the VCR and then cue up the CD), and eventually make costumes. For one of my characters, I forgot which, I wanted to have some sort of long vest like the Ultimate Warrior used to have, so I took an old pair of sweatpants (again with the sweatpants in this thread, Jesus), ironed them nice and flat, and then decorated them. From the front, this was a convincing facsimile of a full-length overcoat-vest that a wrestler may be so inclined to wear, which I affirmed by looking in the mirror and posing a few times. I never bothered to affirm how it looked from any other angle, from 1 degree to 180, so it was decidedly less convincing from the side and back. So I wore it down the aisle for a match that we taped and nobody really thought anything of it. We showed our latest round of matches to some of my friend's brother's chums, and everyone asked why the hell I was wearing painted pants around my neck. I still don't know.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I had a psychotic episode over a game of Mousetrap, played with my cousins. I grabbed the board and flung all the shit across the room, freaking the fuck out and screaming obscenities, pounded on one of my cousins while the other ran away and told on me. I completely lost it. Was still seething mad when my mom, legitimately worried about me, tried to calm me down before whooping my ass for being a little shit. Think I was 4. I only vaguely remember it. It might have been Candy Land, or Sorry.

[Golgo 13]

I had high, spiked hair and wore multi-colored clothes, especially off-brand Zubaz and sweatpants. I can hardly be blamed since it was the late-80s/early-90s. My look was topped off by large-rimmed glasses and a fanny pack. I was emotional and prone to outbursts, but I don't think much of what I did was actually embarrassing. I can't really remember a lot from back then, though, and most of my time for mischief was taken up by excess television, video games, instrument practice, drawing a lot, and a tenure in the Boy Scouts. I know I ate ants on occasion and was obsessed with the Ninja Turtles, Top Gun, and Karate Kid, which isn't really that unusual. When left to my own devices my exploits usually took the form of injuring myself. In a way it was a waste.

[DrVenkman PhD]

When a group of us were 8-10 years old, we'd have wrestling bouts in an upstairs attic on top of stacks of mattresses. That was stupid enough as it is (and thankfully no one was ever injured by taking a piledriver) but using thin drywall to simulate ropes? We had to spend a lot of time repairing gaping holes up there.