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About this blog

Sports. Bitching. Porn. More bitching. Etc...

Entries in this blog

 

46. Rest of the lists.

46.   No more yammering on the list.   I don't want to hurt anyone else's feelings.   Well, I'm lying, I deeply enjoy doing that. But, I have connections with celebrities, now. I don't have time for you plebeians.   GOOD   1. -MikeSC 2. Slayer 3. Hawk 34 4. Dr. Tom 5. Czech Republic 6. CanadianMuggy 7. Carnival 7. Anglesault 8. Black Lushus 9. Damaramu 10. EricMM 11. Cancer Barney 12. Milky   BAD   1. iggymcfly 2. banky 3. Porter 4. EvanderHolyfieldblahblah 5. kkk 6. Vitamin X 7. Hoof 8. The Thread Killer 9. A smorgasbord of sports posters 10. NYU   If anyone wants further comments on these selections, please ask nicely. Or, if you have any questions or comments feel free to ask. If I like you.   xoxoxo Alyanna.      

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45. Matt Bentley & David Young = Hearts!!!

45.   You know, I never noticed what great workrate that Matt Bentley (Michael Shane) and David Young have. They might be the best wrestlers in TNA... or, anywhere in the world. Well, they're maybe still behind Joe... but, he's only viewed my myspace 3 times, and still hasn't said anything. Joe still has his chance to improve, though.   So, I suggest everyone watch TNA... and strongly suggest to the people over there that they push those 2 fine, young wrestlers.   Thanks.   xoxoxo Alyanna.

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44. #7.

44.   #7's.   GOOD   #7: Carnival. REMOVED!     BAD   #7: Hoff   Positives: He's usually an intellligent poster. He plays the jerk role pretty well.   Negatives: He goes through spurts of being a very whiny bitch. He should never try being funny. He relies on being established too much. He hates me.   #6 coming eventually.

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43. #8.

43.   Might as well keep rolling along... the tennis matches on now are yawns.   GOOD   #8: Anglesault   He's the one I originally forgot. Damn banning him. Alkeiper cost his spot in here by doing banning our good pal, AS. I fully understand why Al did so... but, AS was fun, damnit!   Positives: Pretty good and smart overall poster when he doesn't obsess over something he really hates. But, when he did, it led to some of the best comedy on the board. Total geek. I have to admire how he hates practically everything, and bitch bitch bitch bitch. And he really hated the wrestlers I like most (Randy Orton and Test). Blandy Boreton was good, damnit. I think people just needed to lighten up with the guy... just scold him every now and then when he takes his bitching too far.   Negatives: His can certainly be grating. He was antisocial, and probably a very miserable person.   BAD   #8: The Thread Killer   Positives: None, really...   Negatives: Just a hypocritical douche on many levels. Plays the "I have a great life and don't care about the internet!" deal OVER AND OVER, yet deeply analyzes people with his many rants. Tries to be funny, and fails miserably. Creates huge pictures in posts and sigs that clog up space, and are never funny. He's like 40 years old, yet acts like a teenager with his OMG DIS PERSON IS MY FRIEND AND YOU SUCKZ~! high school-ish garbage and seriously creeps me out because of it. Even more so in that he's a social worker... hard to imagine that being good to people.   #7 soon. Maybe tonight. Lolzers.

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42. #9 in the countdown of boredum.

42.   Not much response for the last one. Lame. I wanted fights in here. Oh well. #9.   And my good list is fucked up, because I totally forgot someone. So, I'll make up for it now with #10 and #9 on that side.   GOOD   #10: Damaramu.   I'm sure to draw some jeers for this one.   Positives: Genuinely good guy. Draws the ire of the assholes in the sports forum. Posts high quality comedy, although not always intentional. Certainly makes the board more fun to read. HOSS.   Negatives: Can be a really big, dumb lummox. Stubborn as anything, and beats hits points until the dead horse is buried in the ground.   #9: Black Lushus   Positives: Has a fun attitude. Just a great guy to chill with. Brings the comedic value with many of his stories, especially being enormously pussy-whipped by his Wifey. Brings a perspective in the wrestling forums that I agree with, and many others should be more open to. Huge nerd. Probably looks like a buff Urkel.   Negatives: Fucks Carnival. Gets a bit too defensive at times. annoying...typing style. Says he wants to talk to me, but never does. (I DO RESPOND TO YOUR OFFLINE MESSAGES.)   BAD   #9: CanadianGuitarist (and generally, your average poster in the sports forum).   The sports forum here sucks balls.   Granted, many sports fans are rude assholes. That comes with liking competition. But, here, it's even worse.   CanadianGuitarist, the max, CanadianChris, Kingof609 or whatever, etc... you can go on and on with many posters in the sports folder. Besides the especially bad ones I'll mention later...   A bunch of rude, curt jerks who insult people, think they know everything there is about sports, and horrible people to talk with on any basis. And you can't even have sports conversations with these types. They post everything as "facts", and tear you down by disagreeing with them.   #8's soon.   xoxoxo Alyanna.

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41. The best and the worst. #10's.

41.   I finally did my lists.   It was tougher than I thought.   The best was much tougher. I tried to avoid some personal biases. There's so many good posters here... it was tough to choose.   And both lists will exclude gimmick posters. So, no wildpegasus.   But, first some yammering about my boring life:   I own tickets for Game 2 of the Suns/Clippers series. I am so excited to see the Clips in the Elite 8 of the NBA Playoffs. It will be a surreal feeling. Plus, I've never been to an NBA regular season game, let alone a playoff game before... so, fun will be had.   I think I've finally met someone I'm compatible with. While shopping at Gamestop, there was a 6 foot tall female worker. Who obviously was a video game geek. And she played sports. I was seriously in awe. We talked for a good 10 minutes in the store. I hope to meet her some more, and be bestest friends. While I have many fellow female acquaintances... I can't say I'm good friends with many. I'm a very unique person. So, I'm excited.   I play in another tournament next weekend. I will win at least one match. And it's very much needed. I'm on a long cold streak.   I hate my nose, and Jennifer Garner jaw.   Ok, list time.   BAD   #10: NY Untouchable   Positives: Improved somewhat lately... was in the Top 5 for much of the past few years. Decent wrestling poster.   Negatives: In the past, he basically just posted: 1) Lame attempts at starting fights with people, 2) Horrible jokes, 3) Lame e-fed shit.   Oh, and T#10: The Satanic Angel   Negative: Any of her many descriptive posts mentioning her sexual trevails, makes me seriously gag. Not that I'm a beauty queen by any means... but she's disgusting, fat, and most people here probably assume she's a man from her avatar. I hope she's a gimmick poster.   GOOD   #10: EricMM   Positives: Very smart guy. Sweet, kind person, also. Money in the CE threads, going against the mighty MikeSC. Cute and successful in life.   Negatives: Can struggle at bringing the funny. Very liberal .   #9's in the next entry.   xoxoxo Alyanna.          

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40. My favorite posters. Top 10.

40.   I'll stop with the lame fantasy booking for a while.   Soon, I will be creating my Top 10 favorite poster list. Discuss amongst yourselves.   I might do a Worst 10 list before that... but, there wouldn't be many surprises in that.   Anyway, I look forward to spreading joy.   Thanks.

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39. 5/5/06 Smackdown.

SMACKDOWN 5/5/06   Michael Cole: Welcome to Friday Night Smackdown! With me is Tazz, and we have a super show lined up for you tonight! 8 1st round matches in the quest for the WWE Championship!     Tazz: Yeah Cole, look at the lineup we got today. Undertaker/Booker T in a first round match?! That’s like 9 world titles amongst them! That could be a final for dis tournament. Plus, the return of Batista! Randy Orton! Bobby Lashley! Wow!   Michael Cole: Wow, indeed! And now we take you to a Scotty Go Potty match.   ********************   Round 1: Scotty Go Potty vs. Gunner Scott   Tazz: Hey Cole, when did Scotty 2 Hotty change his name to Scotty Go Potty?   Cole: To be honest, I was surprised he was still hired by WWE. But, I must say this a fine name and gimmick change for him.   Tazz: Yeah, well overdue! And who’s this other guy?   Cole: Who knows? Let’s ignore this match, and hopefully it will go away soon.   Series of hip tosses to start, followed by a dropkick knocks Gunner to the mat. Dropkick to the knee by Go Potty firmly puts down the former Albright. Scotty goes for a flying elbow, but MISSES! Gunner takes advantage with a huge suplex, and goes for the pin. 1….1.8. Scotty tries to counter with a hurricanrana, but Gunner counters with a powerbomb. Hooks the leg, 1….2…2.8… Scotty just gets his shoulder up. Gunner then stupidly goes for a sleeper hold, quieting the crowd. Scotty retards up, and takes the offense with a Russian leg sweep. Followed by a flying axe handle, setting up… sigh. You know the rest. Still a good match, though.   Winner: Scotty Go Potty, via pinfall. (8:55) **3/4   ***************************   Round 1: Jamie Noble vs. Sylvan   Sylvan botches a neckbreaker on Noble to start, but thankfully Noble is fine. Noble then pulls out a mule kick, then a back heel kick, which Sylvan takes the bump on his head twice. Noble is trying his damndest, but we’re in “bowling shoe ugly” territory here, so James wisely cuts to the chase. Modified Dragon Sleeper, and Sylvan passes out.   Winner: Jamie Noble, via submission (2:30) **1/2   ******************************   Randy Orton comes to the ring.   Randall: I’d like to thank our fine new chairman for giving me the opportunity to win the WWE Championship. A FAIR opportunity. As everyone knows I am a 3rd-generation superstar. And I enjoy killing legends. Triple H may call himself the King of Kings, but I am the proven Legend of Legends.   And look how damn sexy I am. I can have every woman in the world. I am truly irresistible. I can treat you all like shit, and you’ll flock to me.   Of course, I don’t expect any of you pathetic male losers to understand. So, continue booing me. Your jealousy only proves how damned incredible I am. Love me.   Oh, and Joey Mercury. Please refrain from attending our match today. It’s pointless. I’m only interested in defeating legends. And the only real legend on this paltry brand, is The Undertaker. Who has lessened himself to cheating tactics in order to defeat me before. That will be no more, however. I will defeat him.   So, Joey, please don’t interfere with my plans. Thank you.   **********************   Round 1: Mark Henry vs. Nunzio   Nunzio starts the match out with a spin kick, and a lariat that has the big man shaking. Then, an attempted cross-body from the 2nd rope… and Henry catches Nunzio. Henry tosses Nunzio in the air, and catches him by the neck, and sends him down with a side choke slam. Nunzio looks dead. Then, Henry drags Nunzio up again and delivers a huge power slam. Splash. And Nunzio is mush. 3.   Winner: Mark Henry, via pinfall (1:46) **1/4   **********************   Round 1: Paul London vs. Finlay   MY NAME IS FINLAY. AND I LIKE TO FIGHT.   Tazz: Ooh, Cole. I’ve been waiting for this matchup. Should be a wrestling masterpiece.   Finlay starts things out with some right hands, that back London into a corner. Followed by a Stun Gun. But, London manages to counter afterwards with a kick to the sternum. London hits a flying kick from the top rope, and follows with a hurricanrana pin attempt. 1…2… 2.5 London hits a huge spinning kick to the jaw of Finlay, that knocks him down. He follows with a 450 attempt from the top rope! 1….2….3… no he didn’t… 2.95! London goes for a headlock afterwards, and Finlay fights his way out. A brutal forearm shiver causes London to bleed from the mouth. Vertical suplex from Finlay, and London is in trouble. Some more stiff punches to London’s bloodied mouth further exacerbates Paul’s breathing. Finlay then takes advantage with the Emerald Fusion! 1….2….3. Finlay then grabs his shillalegh and beats the hell out of London! London now his entire face covered in blood. Though shalt not fuck with Finlay.   Winner: Finlay, via pinfall. (13:38) ***3/4   ********************   Hardcore Holly backstage with Josh Matthews.   Matthews: Hardcore Holly, it’s good to see you in fine health again, and back to WWE.   Holly: Quiet. I’m here to teach some lessons to the new kids out there. I plan on beating the hell out of each and every one of ya. Bobby Lashley, prepare for pain. I’m gonna injure ya. How ya like me now.   Round 1:(15) Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly   Hardcore runs right at Lashley, and gives him some quick punches. However, Holly goes for a body slam, which Lashley refuses to move for. Lashley then does a firm spike slam, and side slam which knocks Holly out. Lashley continues with his power offense, and whips Holly into the corner. With Lashley in full control of the match, he celebrates with the crowd, and Holly uncovers the top turnbuckle. Lashley slowly walks over, and Holly grabs Bobby by the tights, and slings him headfirst into the open turnbuckle. Holly then knocks down the staggered Lashley with one of his trademark perfect drop kicks. 1…2….3.   Winner: Hardcore Holly, via pinfall & cheating (7:40) ***1/2   ************************   Round 1: (10) Randy Orton vs. Joey Mercury   HEY! NOTHIN’ YOU CAN SAY!   Mercury hits an early drop kick on Orton, to which Melina screams…   And WWE owner Princess Leena comes to ring…   Princess Leena : Excuse me, Melina. But that behavior is unacceptable in a match with such a fine wrestler in the ring. Leave the arena, or you’re fired. That is all.   Melina departs. Orton then hits the RKO on his Joey, who wonders why he’s still on television without Melina there. Fin.   Winner: Randy Orton, via pinfall (1:00} **3/4   ************************   Batista is backstage, and mumbles about returning from injury. He looks good in a suit.   (7) Batista vs. Orlando Jordan   Batista jumps into the ring, and tears a quad. And his pecs. He sits on the mat, and Orlando pins him. Steroids are bad, kids.   Winner: Orlando Jordan, via pinfall (0:12) *1/2.   *************************   (2) Undertaker, The vs. Booker T   Undertaker punches. More punches. Punch. Punch. Old School, which Booker T no-sells. Then Taker feels mild discomfort with whatever Booker T does. Taker goes for The Last Ride, but Booker manages to drill Taker in the balls while upside down. Taker says “he’s not feeling it”. Booker hits the Scissors Kick, Bookend, and Harlem Hangover, which the big asshole still won’t lay down for. Taker sits up, and Booker legit axe kicks Taker in the back of the head, knocking him out cold. 1….2….3. Rest in piece, cocksucker.   Winner: Booker T, via pinfall (14:23) **1/2   **********************   Cole: For all of you that don’t want to read this shit, here’s the results today.     That’s all. I’m tired. Watch Scrubs on Sunday.

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38. RAW 5/1/06.

38.   LOLLIPOPZ I BET PEOPLE ARE GONNA THINK THIS IS AN ENTRY ON RAW!! HAHA SILLY PANTS. Like I'd actually watch that stuff.   I need the views, though. I've almost caught kkk.   MONDAY NIGHT RAW 5/1/06.   Triple H interview.   Bow down, bow down, bow down to the King.   “Some broad gets control of my business, and decides to run some cute tournament. Fine! Great! But, all of the boys know it’s a waste of time. The WWE Championships belongs to the King of Kings! The Game! God! And how did I gain such neato monikers? Because I win a lot of matchesaaa! I’m pretty goodaaa!   *says the same thing basically for another 18 minutes*   So, cheerleader fag, tonight, your fantasy ends. Apparently, the online losers think you were all that in OVW, whatever that is. The morons can think what they want. The fact remains that when it comes to workrate, I am the greatest. I bust my ass in one-hour classic matches at PPV’s because I am just so gosh darn great!   Tonight, I’m squashing you, Doane!”   ----------   1st Round: Gene Snitsky vs Rene Dupree. Snitsky in control early with punches. Dupree fights back, hits Full Nelson slam 1…. 2…. Dupree with a big clothesline 1… 2…. Snitsky with a big boot. Pumphandle slam. End.   Winner: Gene Snitsky (4:52) 1/2*   ----------   1st Round: Matt Striker vs Chavo Guerrero Chavo controls for most of the match. Crowd chants EDDIE. Chavo cries. Matt hits the Happy Monkey, and Chavo taps.   Winner: Matt Striker (6:29) DUD   ----------   Grisham: “Chavo, you lost.”   Chavo: “Eddie Guerrero.”   Grisham: “Talk about your match.”   Chavo: “Eddie Guerrrero?”   Grisham: “K. Bye.”   Chavo: “Eddie. Eddie. Guerrrrrerrrro.”   ----------   The Spirit Squad is backstage.   “Cheer. We will all have to work hard to defeat Val Venis. He’s a professional jobber, so we like can’t lose, and stuff. Rah rah, Johnny is gonna win, sis boom bah.”   1st Round: Johnny vs Val Venis   Venis hits a right hand and slam. More jobber offense. Johnny flips around and stuff. Venis no-sells it with his oozing machismo. Venis goes for the Money Shot, this will do it. But Mitch or Mikey, whichever one isn’t injured, I can’t remember, pulls Venis off the ropes. Ref sees it. Spirit Squad do the lifty thing to Venis then. Pain ensues.   Winner: Val Venis, via DQ. (8:20) 3/4*   ----------   Maria: “Hi. I’m Maria. You’re Chris Masters. You have match against some guy.”   Masters: “DER. IM DA MASTERPIECE. BOO ME.”   Maria: “BOO!”   Masters: “YAYA BOOOOO I POOT YA IN DA MASTERLOCK! NOBODY CAN GET IN IT AND THAN GET OUT OF IT! IM DA GIME BUNNIE!”   1st Round: Chris Masters vs Danny Basham Piss break for the crowd. Danny won when Masters tripped over his drool.   Winner: Danny Basham (0:27) -***   ----------   1st Round: (9) Rob Van Dam vs Trevor Murdoch Power fat guy stuff from Murdoch to starts. RVD sells with mild discomfort. Then magically gains all his power back for a flying elbow. IT'S 420 TIME, OH EM GEE IM SO HIGH 1….2….2.87 RVD face jams Murdoch. 1….2…2.33 Some more uninspired brawling from Murdoch. RVD counters with a Spin Kick. Then Rolling Thunder. Then poses like Mickey Mouse. Then hits the 5 Star Frog Splash. Then rolls around with a sore tummy. Then pins Murdoch. Then wins.   Winner: (9) Rob Van Dam (5:02) 1/2*   ----------   Cade and Murdoch are backstage. They wanted to rip into Edge. They’re angry that they suck, and Cade so knows he’s losing to Edge.   Meanwhile, Edge stuffs his entire head inside of Lita.   1st Round: (8) Edge vs Lance Cade Squash. Then, Lita cheats by going in the ring and slapping Cade. Ref sees it, but it’s Lance Cade. So, whatever. Murdoch tries to interfere, but missed his cue, so ignore that. Spear from stick boy that wouldn’t kill a fly. 3.   Winner: (8) Edge (1:42) **1/4   ----------   Kane backstage: “Mickie James. This will be the greatest match ever. Inside of that ring. I will rape you in front a live national audience. Muahahahaha.”   1st Round: (16) Kane vs Mickie James   Mickie James takes the mic.   “Kane… ummm, I wouldn’t mind sleeping around. But, I only do that with girls. So, bye.”   Kane runs up the ramp and grabs Mickie. Throws in the ring. Giant chokeslam, and he starts to undress Mickie. We see her lovely breasts. And her roast beef down there. For pics, search online. Google is best. This is a family show. Then, Kane suddenly remembered that he burned his penis off long ago, and cries. CONTINUITY IS REBORN! Mickie runs away, and loses via countout.   Winner: (16) Kane, via countout, I guess (2:00) -*   ----------   1st Round: (1) HHH vs Kenny Kenny walks into a knee. HHH hits him with more knees. Knee lift. The Spirit Squad looks to interfere, but HHH stares at them, and they back off. Then they attack anyway, and of course, HHH beats them 1-on-5. Pedigree. Take it to da pay winda.   Winner: (1) HHH (0:58) *   ----------   Results!     Next week on RAW, more 1st round fun! Tune in!

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37. RAW 5/1/06 Preview.

37.   RAW Preview - 5/1/06.   A new era begins, as "May Madness.", the 64-wrestler tournament begins in the quest for the WWE Championship.   Eight 1st round matches begin tonight...     Can the KING OF KINGS win his 11st WWE Championship? Mickie James vs. Kane? Danny Basham is on RAW?   Such excitement.   Watch.    

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36. Awful WWE Diary on EWR. #1

This diary will suck. I'm only doing a halfass diary in my 100th lame attempt to maybe keep playing this game for more than a week. And it's fine filler for this blog.   Backstory.   Vince McMahon had willing sexual relations with a 22-year old slut named Princess Leena. Leena then sued him for sexual harassment, because she's a greedy bitch. And won. Leena obtained the rights to the WWE, and the entire McMahon family was exiled to work in the zoo, cleaning panda poop.   The end.   Introduction by the new Owner.   Press conference with the new WWE owner.   Princess Leena: Hi. I own this thing. Let's cut to the chase about the ensuing changes.   All current title holders are stripped of their titles.   There will be a 64-wrestler tournament to be WWE Champion.   There will only be one WWE Champion. The World Title has been removed.   After the tournament, the Intercontinental, European, Cruiserweight, and Tag Team belts will be added.   The brands will remain the same. The only change with the TV shows, is that the current Internet shows are removed. And are replaced by WWE Scrubs. On every Saturday night at 3am! Scrubs will consist of "superstars" from both brands.   The WWE Championship tournament consists 32 workers from each brand included in the tourney. The draw was made randomly... with the top 16 ranked wrestlers spread amongst the draw.   Here's the draw: http://tournawiz.com/64draw.php?id=82&uid=leena   Fin.

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35. Boredum.

35.   I'm once again going through another online apathy stage. Where I don't talk to anyone, don't feel like posting, and don't do anything in general. I guess it's because of another boyfriend now, which will of course end up in pain, but whatever. I don't learn. And just general apathy in wrestling, since the sucky summer stretch is coming... and sports should be better, but they're not.   I just wanted to keep my blog updated.   End.

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34. Random babbling.

34.   Well, the draft is this weekend.   It's one of those things that I have no idea why I watch. I'll be sitting for a couple hours, bored out of my mind, but can't take my eyes off the TV. And it's going to be even worse since NFL Network has Draft coverage now... and, I guess they won't ignore all non-QB and "controversial" figures from the 2nd round on, like ESPN.   As for my favorite loser teams...   Bills - DT is their biggest need, by far. When Tim Anderson is starting for an NFL team, they need major help. I hope they take BIG HOSS! Haloti Ngata. But, rumor is they may prefer Bunkley, since Buffalo's defense relies more on some speed at DT, instead of just big fat guys. I want Ngata. And, please do not take Justice. He has Mike Williams' suckiness written all over him. Might not be able to play left tackle. Mental issues. No, no, no.   Cards - They'll probably end up taking Justice, since they really need OL help. At #11, probably the best fit, unless Detroit is retarded again and takes an offensive player instead of Michael Huff. And they're probably not taking Cutler. Kurt Warner will be starting for at least a few more years.   I don't know about other teams. I haven't really followed the draft much this year.   But, some other thoughts.   Matt Leinart will be a complete bust. Just watch some of his college games, and see how inaccurate he is. The common argument is that he only did that in the important TV games, but whatevz. He's inaccurate, doesn't have great arm strength, and not a good runner. Oh, but he has "winning intangibles". Yeah, Rob Johson would also have those intangibles if he played in that USC offense. I hope the Jets take him. I bet Pennington with his decrepid arm still plays significantly better than Leinart.   Vince Young will cause some team's fans years of anguish. He's never played QB at Texas, in any important moments. Getting the ball snapped to you, and immediately turning into a RB 70% of the time, is not a QB. And that shit definitely won't fly in the NFL. If Vick, with his legit RB speed can't regularly do it, there's no chance in hell Young will. Plus, whatever team that gets him is going to work on his mechanics. They can't help but not to. If anyone is expecting Young to make any positive impact on a team in less than 3 years, they're crazy. I'm not going to write him off... but, if you're a team drafting him in the Top 10, and dedicating many millions of dollars to him, they better have the patience of Job. Whatever that means.   Reggie Bush... well, at least the hype cooled off him after Young's godlike performance in the Rose Bowl. His talents make him worthy of the #1 pick. But, for those Sean Salisbury types that are already crowning him an NFL great... kid has tons to proof in the next level. Can he ever run inside, and learn that outrunning everyone outside won't work. Can he handle being an every down back.   If I hear anything about Brett Favre returning, or OMGZ HE MIGHT RETIRE AGAIN IN 2007, I'll scream. And he's going to go through another horrible year in Green Bay, lolzies.   That's all. I have people on AIM talking to me, and they're going to get anger if I stay here.   xoxoxo Leelee.

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33. Random bitching.

33.   I lost 2-6 6-7(4) today in my first competitive match since moving here. I am not pleased with this. I want to smash things when my serve gets broken, which happened twice. Next time, things will be different. Domination will be established. And many 7-6 7-6 wins will ensue.   My truck is a piece of shit. It's a Dodge Van thingy. It's pretty, but I don't like it. I WANT MY COROLLA BACK. I loved that thing. It was an unpenetrable tank of gas saving glory. I need to find another. But, used ones are a bitch to find, since everyone wants one. And there's too many fucking Mexicans down here, that love cars like that.   Oh, shock. I turn on ESPN, like the dumbass I am... and it's NFL DRAFT SPECIAL #123423!!! Do they seriously have new draft "update" shows everyday? This is so horrible. Any more mentions of Brett Favre, and I'm breaking the TV. Brett should sue ESPN for talking about him. Like, seriously, if I was some popular athlete, I'd torture ESPN if they ever mentioned me. Especially if they dragged Pedro Gomez to cover me. Poor Pedro, you just know he's sucking on Barry's cock by now. And someone kill Sean Salisbury. Nobody likes him. Except maybe Damaramu.   Well, at least there's tennis on. Bless you, Tennis Channel for showing a zillion hours of Monte Carlo this week.   I want to have lots of sex with Katharine McPhee.   There's not much else here. I'll go on Gaim, and get bombarded with messages! Which I mostly enjoy. Don't stop.   Hugs.   Leelee.

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32. Random TSM things that annoy me.

32.   This is the start of another series of blog entries, that I'll probably forget about and stop adding to in like 2 days. Random TSM things that annoy me.   Hawk 34, for ALWAYS putting a comma after someone's name when referring to them.     GRAAARRRRR!   He's, a good poster, though.   CanadianChick, for becoming a sarcastic, and somewhat mean poster lately.   GRAAARRRRR!   I'm the heel bitch here! Not you! You're face! I'm the Randy Orton of female posters... and you're... Samoa Joe. But not fat.   And, of course, I love Ms. Matthews.   Adam, for not being a Nice Guy, anymore.   GRAAARRRRR!   You're Australian! Stop being not Australian! Every Aussie is nice! Because it's perfect there! And the water makes half of you retarded! And you like basketball! The only allowable basketball enjoyment there is scoring in Lauren Jackson :drool:   And, of course, I like Adam, too.   Black Lushus... FOR HIS HORRIBLE USAGE OF ELLIPSES AND RANDOMLY CAPITALIZING WORDS AND YOU JUST KNOW HE'S GONNA COME IN HERE AND CALL ME A DORK FOR POSTING THIS. And you hung out with fucking CARNIVAL. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SERIOUSLY MEET HIM... YOU JUST TEASE HIM. Teeheez. YOU'RE THE FUCKING DORK. WIFEY SHOULD DO DOMINATRIX SHIT ON YOU.   And, of course, I hate Black Lushus. He is black, after all.   I'll continue this later!   But, tomorrow, I start another boring sports countdown.   The end.

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31. #2.

31.   We're skipping #4, Money and Greed in Sports. I couldn't grumble about that nearly as well as other bloggers here anyway. And none of you would even know what #3 was. Plus, I want to get to my happy moments, eventually. I better get to it before my eventual return to my usual dark, gloomy moods... and wishing pain on everyone.   2) The first minute of the second half of Super Bowl XXVIII.   As we all know, the Buffalo Bills had lost the 3 Super Bowls prior to this.   The Bills ended the first half up 13-6. They basically outplayed Dallas in the first half. The Cowboys couldn't move the ball much, at all.   Then, 45 seconds into the 2nd half, Thurman Thomas was stripped of the ball by Leon Lett. James Washington returned it 46 yards for a touchdown. The score was 13-13. All Bills fans knew what would happen then.   The end.    

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30. #5. Music City Miscue.

30.   I'll continue my sports crap, due to demand.   Except I'll only be posting the "popular" worst sports moments, since you kids are so penurious and maladjusted. Which means no #1 - Monica Seles' stabbing.     5) Music City Miscue.   No, it was not a miracle.   And, damn, those Titans jerseys are ugly. Like, the worst in sports, until the recent trend of gross NBA, and college football jerseys. And the Thrashers jerseys... puke.   I have a different view on this catastrophe than most Bills fans, and poor, unfortunate, bitter Buffalo souls.   Was Frank Wycheck's lateral a forward pass? When you closely re-watch it 1423423 times, and draw a line precisely where he throws the ball and Dyson catches it... it does look like Frank releases the ball at the 25, and Dyson catches it at the 25 1/4. It was probably a forward pass.   Does it matter? No.   You're crazy if you think Phil Luckett was going to reverse that call. Even now, people aren't sure if it was a lateral. He'd have to be 100% sure to change that call in Nashville. And even then, it would have been difficult, since the crowd would have peppered him with various flying objects. Also, don't forget that this is the schmuck that can't even administer a coin toss correctly.   Besides, the Bills deserved such a fate...   No... not because of the Rob Johnson disaster, where the gazillion Flutie Fanatics were whining that midget mullet boy was benched for no reason. Despite Flutie probably being a better option for the Titans game, with their huge pass rush, I still stand by my statements then of supporting the change to Rob. As much as Flutie freaks want to defend their boy... he is not, and never was, a talented enough QB to remain as a long-term starter. He definitely is not the optimal choice to lead a team to a championship. Plus, the offense was bogging down late in '99... mostly because teams had finally figured out how to defend aaainst Flutie (i.e. leave 10 yard outs open, because he doesn't have the arm strength, and don't let him run). That's why Robert was signed. And, back then, we didn't realize how much Robert blew. He actually played well in '98 before getting his head ouchies every game... and impressed in the final game in '99 vs. Indy.   No... not because of Daryl Porter. Who made the brilliant decision of running across the field, from the right sideline... to help defend the blazing speed of Lorenzo Neal, and Frank Wycheck's Pollack ass... leaving the Titans' star WR, who just happened to be standing near the sideline for no reason.   No... not because of special teams' coach, Bruce DeHaven... who was screaming to the top of his lungs to watch for that inevitable pass during the play, which nobody could hear. And was subsequently fired like the day after the game. He only had so much to work with...     It's Bum's kid's fault. Wade Phillips.   Bless Wade. He's a genuinely good guy. He's got a GREAT football mind. He's one of the best defensive coordinators around.   But, Wade's on record for saying "special teams isn't important". And that he'd "never play his first-line guys in them situations".   What a fitting way to be remembered as a head coach.   What steams me most about this game, though... the Bills had so much talent that year. And it was their last hurrah. The Bills' defense was stacked in '99. It might not have been the Ravens' D of the following year... but, they were close, and deserve more recognition than they get, i.e. none. Sam Cowart, Marcellus Wiley, Pat Williams, Henry Jones, Thomas Smith, etc... all playing great football. If only the Bills had any solidity on offense... they would have been a scary, scary football team. Heck, even if they did win that Titans' game... any other AFC teams would have a heck of a time trying to score on that team.   And the Bills have sucked every year since then.   The end.

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29. Hating allof you. And a survey!

29.   None of you like tennis.   Go to fucking hell, assholes.   I might continue my countdown later, but not now. I'm tired, and thus in lalalalalelelelee land.   Here's a survey.   Full Name Alyanna Lanikova. Nickname Leena. Leelee. Birthday September 13th, 1983. Hometown Dubna, Russia. Current location Tempe, Arizona. Eye Color Hazel. Brown-greenish. Hair Color Currently blonde. But, I can be all colors! Height 6'1 3/4" What's your sign? Virgo. Birthplace Dubna, Russia. Do you get motion sickness? No. Can you play any instruments? Yes. Flute. Very well. Righty/Lefty? Ambidextrous. Do you like to sing? Yes. Do you like to dance? Yes. Have any piercings? No. Any tattoos? No. What's the weirdest dream you've ever had? I had 6 cocks inside of me, and I was murdered by Scott Baio during it. And Jerry Mathers sat on me. While Al Bundy insulted him. And Elena Bovina won the Grand Slam. With me cheering as a dead corpse. Biggest turn-off People who aren't completely honest. Sweetest friend Larisa. And she's black! Wildest friend I know nobody wilder than me. How many best friends do you have? 1. What are their names? Larisa. But, she lives far away now. And fucks icky nigger dick daily, instead of talking to me. Have a crush? What's his/her name? No. Crushes are stupid. Favorite color Dodgerblue or Magenta. Favorite girl name Natasha. Favorite boy name Al. Want to get married someday? No. How many kids do you want to have? None. How do you want to die? Drowning in a mixture of hot boy cum, and my juices. Have you ever had any broken bones or stitches? Yes. Ruptured achilles, broken ankle, broken foot, broken bone in my wrist, bone chips in my elbow. Most embarassing moment? I've never been embarassed. How many people have you kissed? At least 100. How many CDs do you have? None. I only download illegal music. Have you ever committed a crime? Yes. I've killed someone. And stabbed a few boys. And did jail bait with a boi. And probably lots of other stuff. Have you ever been in a fight? Yes. I always win. I'm a HOSS. If you could be any character from literature or film, who would you be? Teagan Presley or Danni Woodward. I kinda look like them. And I want to be a huge slut. If you could be any animal, what would you be? Kitty. The cutest. And be lazy all day, while people cavort to my every need. If you could have one super power, what would it be? Read people's minds. But, I already can do that. If you could have three wishes, what would they be? 1) Be a tennis pro. 2) Be a porn star, without any reprecussions. 3) Fuck Randall Orton and Elena Bovina at once. What is the last book you read? did you enjoy it? Fuck that. I don't read books. I'm hot. What is the last movie you saw? did you enjoy it? Barely Legal 21. Enjoy it lots. I don't know who the blonde is in the first scene, but OMG do I want to lick her dry, and vice versa. Do you collect anything? No. What is your favorite restaurant? Chinese one across the street. Do you have any scars? How did you get them? Yes. Surgery on my shoulder. And foot. And leg. And wrist. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes. Lots. Have you ever stayed up all night? Yes. Lots. Guess why. Do you cook anything well? Yes. Chicken. That's all. What is your favorite game? Scrabble. I'm sick good at it. And Boggle. Where do you want to go to college? I gradumated college. What are you doing this weekend? Tennis tournament. I'll win. What are you wearing right now? Nude. About to go to sleep. When was the last time you went shopping? Today. Single or group dates? Single. Always. Where would you most like to visit? Australia. Gold Coast. And fuck my loser friend there. The Simpsons or Family Guy? Neither. Simpsons blows now, and Family Guy ain't my Cup o' tea. What is your favorite dog breed? Collie. First thought waking up? Sex. Last thought going to bed? Going to sleep. Motto to live by Do whatever makes you happy. The end.

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28. #6. Penis.

28.   No, this isn't the good type of Penis...     6) Venus Williams wins 2005 Wimbledon.   The regular sports fan, and even some of the smarter tennis fans, often ask me why I was in uber-bitch mode after 2005 Wimbledon.   "But, Venus is still like one of the best players in the world." No, she isn't.   "Maria won in 2004, and you hate her guts!" Yes, but this was a million times worse.   "VEE REE R NUMBA #1" Fuck you. Die.   By no means am I a Williams' hater like so many people out there. I appreciated their games from 1999-2004. They worked hard to be the best in the world, and used their impeccable talents to dominate the game. Yes, when they faced each other in 4 straight grand slam finals, it was very ugly tennis to watch... but, hell if I know how it feels to face your sister in situations like that.   The problems ensued in 2005... and not with Serena winning the Australian Open that year. That was a deserved win... despite Lindsay Davenport sucking and blowing in a grand slam for the 1242th time.   It started in the Miami QF with Serena, and older sister, Penis. Penis was really struggling at the time, and soon to drop out of the Top 20. And Serena blatantly tanked said match, so Penis wouldn't drop off the face of the earth. Not that the Willies' haven't done these sorts of things for each other before... but, this was telling.   Telling because Penis didn't give a fuck.   Fast forward to Roland Garros 2005. Watch Penis lose to Sesil Karatancheva. More specifically, watch that 3rd set. The absolute worst tennis I've ever seen from a professional player.   Being a tennis instructor, I know some things. And it was obvious that Penis hardly practiced. You don't miss groundstrokes like that by accident.   Then, 2 weeks later at Wimbledon... Penis is about to go down to one of the worst players on tour in the early rounds, but barely survives. The bad thing is that this gave her some practice, and some confidence. And her future opponents, including slug Lindsay Davenport choked against Penis in the final, and the unthinkable happens.   A player who barely tries, and plays half-ass, wins the biggest tournament of the year.   This still pisses me off. I know a few of the girls on tour. They bust their ass 365 days a year to try and survive on tour. And this bitch just waltzes in, and wins it all.   Proving life isn't fair. And hard work doesn't always matter.   As of 2006, it looks like the Williams' may finally be retired. They're a sad story. Even moreso, Serena than Venus... because we should be speaking of Serena in the same breath as legends like Navratilova and Graf, with Serena's unmatched talents.   But, I guess it's more important to be a crack ho, or being an F-list "actress", than using these talents.   That's why it's hard to be a tennis fan, sometimes. If the players don't give a shit, why should the fans?    

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27. Knicks blow. #7.

27.   I used to be a huge Knicks fan, back in the day. And not just because they were sort of successful in the mid 90's. The players on the team were awesome. How could you not love the hustle of Charles Oakley. The disgusting sweating gorilla, Patrick Ewing. Anthony Mason, the big, mean, really ugly dude who'd overpower everyone... and looked like a porn star shoving her tits out, every time he dribbled. Even guards like Starks and Derek Harper would get into it with people, while bricking most of their shots. The Knicks were an awesome group of big cheaters, and everyone hated them. So, of course, I liked them.   Now, they're horrible. But, this trend started long before drooling moron Isiah Thomas thought the guard connection of Starbury and the Franchise could coexist, and EVERYONE ELSE knew it would fail. And seriously trading for noted asshole, Tim Thomas. And the Scott Layden years before that, when they had like 8 shooting guards in the lineup.   But, this all started nearly a decade ago. The Knicks were cool when they were all big, burly foul machines. Not petty thugs, who seriously try to murder people.     7) The Knicks sign Spree.   Just look at this asshole. Enough reason not to sign him.   I don't care that the Knicks made the finals in '99. This signing alone killed my love for the Knicks. And for that, Spree will always be hated.   The end.

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26. Stuff. And #8.

26.   I can't explain why I've been so happy this week. Like seriously, I've been smiling all day today and yesterday. It's weird. Even while my elbow is killing me. Well, I just hope it lasts!   Not much else to talk about. Excited for the ensuing long weekend. I plan to play lots of tennis tomorrow, on the day of Jesus' death. And other stuff this weekend.   #8 in the worst sports moments list for moi is a sad one...   I'm not a big fan of any type of racing. Especially all the circle jerk racing that's on nowadays. It makes me sleep. And it's gotten even worse now that there's lots of money involved. It was better back in the day when it was on ESPN, and there was a bunch of hillbillies driving around. Now, all the personalities are blah. Pretty boy douches like Jeff Gordon, Dale Jr., whatevz. And while fatass Tony Stewart tries to be a hot-headed hardass who crashes everyone, he'll never top the master. I really miss this guy, because he's the only driver I gave a crap about...     8) Dale Earnhardt dies at Daytona.   The Intimidator. He was just so badass in his black #3 car, the shades, the hick mustache and voice. His non-giving a shit attitude about fucking other drivers over. Every driver was terrified if Dale came up behind you, because he'd do whatever to get past you.   It was such a weird feeling when he died. The crash looked rather tame compared to many huge looking crashes where cars flip around and you're amazed when the guy walks out without a scratch. I didn't really feel sad... because it's racing. You always put your life on the line. But, it was weird how he died basically blocking other cars from passing him. I guess it was ironic in a way.   I guess it's just a crap feeling when your undoubted favorite in a sport is taken away like that.

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25. #9 in the crap list of sporting depression.

25.   Nine... nine... god, I hate how ESPN does that. But, the one chick in there is sooooo cute.   As I grew up in Buffalo, you can expect that there will likely be many NFL induction in here... as the Bills franchise has been nothing but pain and misery. And we'll start that here with #9.   Everyone has a player they really hate. Everyone has a player they know is just absolutely horrible from the first second they watch them. And then they even exceed your expections. Everyone has that player on their team that makes a gazillion dollars, and basically ruins their franchise. There's people you just look at their picture, and you know they're dumb as dirt, and useless in all facets of life. It's not often that there's one player who manages to combine all these traits into one big steaming pile of suck. But, there's no doubting this dufus easily fits all the aforementioned descriptions...     9) Rob Johnson. His entire career. Which was like 20 minutes of playtime in Buffalo.   Ugh. Just thinking about him makes me cringe.   From the start here in Buffalo, things just never seemed to add up... but, this was still the time when we all had faith in the Bills management, so we trusted John "Bubblechin" Butler (RIP) making this trade.   The Bills traded their 1st round pick (9th overall, or close to that) and 4th round pick for Robert. Note that Robert himself was only a 4th round pick, and his only notable NFL experience was a strong EXHIBITION game for Jacksonville. Now, the Bills were desperate for QB... it was a few years since Kelly, and horror of the Todd Collins experiment still lingered in our brains... but, this just didn't add up. Plus, we're giving this asshole a 5-year, $25 million deal, and it would cripple Buffalo capwise in the future.   But, whatever, HE COULDN'T BE WORSE THAN TODD "DEER IN HEADLIGHTS" COLLINS!!!   Oh, I didn't mention that 1st round pick for Jacksonville ended up being Fred Taylor. While the Bills had Antowain Smith, and some other jackasses at RB. But, again, whatever.   As for Robert's career... well, there wasn't much of it. He was 7-14 as a starter, while lifetime little backup scrub Doug Flutie was 21-9 with basically the same team. He got totally overshadowed by Doug Fucking Flutie. When you're infinitely more annoying than Flutie Flakes, you really need to lock yourself in some basement, far away from humanity. And in those 7 wins, I'll bet he had a "concussion" in about 5 of those. The fragile surfer boi managed to get hurt every fucking game. And he was the master of simply standing in the pocket while getting sacked 10+ a game, while blaming his offensive line for every loss. Rob was slick in his press conferences, also... managing lots of uh's, and even the occasional duh.   But, Robert teaches us all an important lesson in life...   If you can somehow bullshit stupid people into giving you many millions of dollars, it doesn't really matter after that. Screw everyone over. The world is yours.   Someday, I will do what Rob did.            

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24. Worst moments in history: #10. And stuff.

24.   In an attempt to add lots of filler to my blog since my life in general is quite boring, except for tennis, and work, and the occasional double penetrations... I will be starting crappy lists.   And I'll be starting with my 10 worst moments in sports history. More happier lists will follow. I promise. I just hope a couple people read this. Well, who am I kidding. I'm hated and this sucks. Nobody will. But, whatever...   #10!   Ten... Ten... Ten... Ten... Ten... Ten...   Much to people's surprise, I've been a big golf fan all my life. The drama of watching the final round of a major championship is tough to match in any other sport. It amazes me the nerves those professionals must have not to completely suck in these situations.   But, one of the problems with golf (at least since I've been watching, which is after the Nicklaus/Other Guy winning slams with him days), is that it's a bunch of guys you really have no reason to care or root for. Which will happen since there's been so much depth in the golf game. Even when Tiger made his big entrance to the world winning the '97 Masters, it didn't change. Eldrick is just some bum with zero personality who played a shitload of golf and was really talented.   However, there was one man who transcended all of this. One man, who since I started following golf since 1990, has always been there...     ... for me to hate.   (10) Phil Mickelson wins the 2004 Masters.   Don't you want to slap that phony smile off his face?   Phil Mickelson (who will be referred to as Hefty, due to him being a lefty, and his fat disgusting man titties, so he's Hefty. Har har.), I can't deny, is probably the most exciting golfer to watch play. Not only is he an extremely talented player, probably only matched by Eldrick, but his reckless aggressive choice of shots will never bore a golf fan.   Which led to the first reason I couldn't stand Hefty. He used to be so goddamned stupid in tournaments. Especially slams. How many times in the 90's did he give himself absolutely no chance in slams by bombing drivers every hole... and taking these ridiculous risk flop shots, and other silly shots around the greens. While it worked for 100 crappy West Coast pitch and putt tournaments he won... his blowups were so predictable in the majors.   And what I enjoyed most about him, taking forever looking at 3 foot putts. Setting up. Taking his big backswing, and plowing a lipout, as he made his "Oh no!" face! Fucking classic. I literally mark out every time that happens. Which is less and less, nowadays.   As I grew up, I started to learn more about Hefty. He's a big phony piece of shit. Just listen to the guy in interviews, he's such a smarmy asshole. His smiles are so obviously fake that you want to slap him. Many of the other players hate him. But, on television, it seems like everyone LOVES him. WHY? WHY? WHY? He's a rich fat kid from San Diego. He's not like you peons.   Then came that dark day in April 2004...   Ernie Els had a great final round in the 2004 Masters, taking like a 4 shot lead over Hefty into the back nine. Hefty had a long way to come back in order to win, and according to past history, there's no fucking way he'll do it... and I'll gleefully cackle as the phony asshole blows it again.   I should also note that Phil was in uber-douche mode for this tournament, also. Likely due to rumors that all others players hated his fucking guts, he had this retarded smile on his face constantly. After every shot, good or bad. Just walking down the fairway. Always had this fake ass smile. It was even worse than the fake smile he usually has... he seriously looked like a gigantic kid who was palsy.   So, anyway, Phil manages to get a few lucky birdies on the back nine, and ties Els going to 18.   I'm sure we all recollect the 18th hole...   He has like a 20-footish putt. All of us are thinking he's gonna miss. I'm entirely sure he blows this 4 feet by the hole, misses the 2nd putt, and I laugh for the rest of that glorious Sunday...   Hit the putt too hard...   And it lips in.   Fuck you, Hefty. Die.   All those majors where Hefty sucked, or just got outplayed. How gleeful I was when David Toms played incredibly to knock him off in Atlanta. And when Payne (RIP) put on a putting exhibition to win at Pinehurst...   It all went away... things were never going to be the same. That asshole finally won his first slam. And we knew, many would follow. Which continued with an easy win at this year's Masters.   Phil Mickelson, you blow, you phony douche. And I hate watching golf now. Because of your success. Please choke on a cheeseburger.      

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23. Platitudinous.

23.     ...   I'd sing that Twins beer song for this occasion, if it didn't totally fucking suck and force me to never watch Sportscenter during football season. But, moving on...   Don't you hate it when at work, certain people DEMAND to be your friend? Especially when these people feel to share with you their entire fucking life story? I'm getting that now with a current co-worker. And she's a fat dirty... well, I don't need to get into race. But, nasty Mexican bitches are usually really nasty. No offense. It's like, bitch, I'm trying to play online. I'm busting my ass posting on crappy message boards for my $16/hour. You bust your ass doing work, like mowing the lawn or picking weeds, or something.   I have little else to talk about. It sucks how your life gets completely boring when you work full-time. It's kind of depressing. This doesn't deserve it's own entry, but I had to update people.   But, for my next entry... I'll start some sports babbling like Bored does. Except like not all boring baseball shit like he does.   Fin.

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22. Ecstacy.

22.   I lived out one of my dreams yesterday. Twas a lovely day. I can't wait for next weekend.   Otherwise, nothing to talk about. Horrendous sports weekend. Ignoring all of that.   That's all. I will feed you more verbage during the week, blog.   *hugz blog*

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