9 p.m.
• So the kkk household just got this letter from the Nielsen people. Looks like we could be a future ratings player. Looks like the ratings will be up even more for OMG FAUX NEWS LOL 2008~! Man, I haven’t said that in a while. Actually, I can’t remember the last time I watched cable news.
• You know, stealing her purse I understand. But her cane?
Sad thing is there was a bit during “Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood.” Where a mugger robs an old lady and takes her walker. Let’s see if YouTube has this clip.
…
I give up. You’ll have to settle with this. Not sure what I like better: “niggasaki” at 0:47, the entrance doorbell at 1:25 or “the Man” at “4:07.”
8:30 p.m.
• I wonder if the McCain spokespeople pictured doing this six months ago?
God I love my county.
• Wow. And I thought veggies were green enough.
Oh well, I guess it's better than eating food that a Mexican shit on out in the field.
7 p.m.
• Can you believe what the head of the print division of Medium-Large Media said about McCain's VP selection of Palin?
Wait a second, the Slimes Editorial Board was talking about Geraldine Ferraro -- a three-term congresswoman at the time of her VP nod. Nevermind.
7 p.m.
• So this week I finally said goodbye to an old friend from my college days. And good fucking riddance. For those that experienced the ol’ university system, or for those that are currently going through this ordeal, you undoubtedly had a buddy or two that would freeload off of you and your other pals.
Well I finally said “No, Mooch” to my very own version. Every month or so this bastard would pop up and ask for some money. Sure giving him some cash every now and then didn’t break my budget, but Jesus Christ – get a job!
Who was this friend?
My school loan.
After paying off the better half’s credit card debt we spent the next year or so building up a decent rainy day fund. The next step was to put away enough money to pay off the car and my school loan. At the time there were about six payments left on the car, and by the time the final payment would be made there would also be enough cash saved up to pay off the school loan. Of course, the car was ONE PAYMENT away from being paid off when all hell broke loose (another entry for another time), so a car payment is back on the slate. However, I was hell-bent on getting rid of this goddamn school loan by the end of this year. I guess it makes matters worse considering I loathe my alma mater. I went to a community college for two years post-high school while I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. After two years I took my credits and transferred to a local school that I thought would provide a good education.
Boy was I wrong.
After about a year I realized what a terrible decision I made. Now was time to make a choice: Stick it out for another year-and-a-half or transfer to some other cesspool and spend even more money getting a piece of paper that’s tucked away somewhere in my house, either in a storage closet or the fruit cellar. (Yeah, I keep a bunch of queers in my basement.)
Once I graduated it was time to make those monthly payments. I never paid them any mind; I simply made the monthly payment. After I while when my degree was proving worthless in my search for gainful employment I began to get pissed at having to pay $109.47 each month to a place that I loathed to attend.
Not any more. Thanks to a one-time $5,100 payment.
Now I won’t have to see that monthly bill any more, reminding me of those two-and-a-half years of shit I went through. Boo-hoo. (Those nights leaving the Quickie-Mart at 2 a.m. only to get on a bus five hours later to attend an 8 a.m. class were especially fun.) But now the only reminders I have of that shit hole of an institution are when they send me alumni updates asking me for more money. I’m still waiting for the day when some poor student calls me during an alumni donation drive.
7 p.m.
• So the better half had an interview today, and her interviewer was wearing a "Hillary Supporter For Obama" button. Nice. You know what was better? The feminazi's first question being about a place Mrs. kkk worked at 4+ years ago, which was a Catholic hospital. The interviewer was trying to find out if she was Catholic. (Mrs. kkk is, but that's not the reason she worked at said hospital.) Of course, never mind the fact that the better half only lasted 7 months at that job because it was run by dumbfucks. Because, you know, everyone who works at a Catholic organization must automatically be of that religion.
Now I guess I could go on and say, "OMG liberals are the most intolerant of all people" or something like that, but I was at an interview back in December where the idiot interviewing me had a Bush/Cheney mug on his desk.
• I'm sure this picture in question has already been taken down, and I'm not a regular to Mr. Cooley's blog, but peep this, especially the boldface:
How could you NOT notice this little part of the picture? And I thought I was packing light down there.
7:45 p.m.
• Regarding Cooley, I just ventured into the "Pictures I Like" Thread.
8 p.m.
• So I was never into the whole YouTube deal. See small videos on my computer. Whatever.
Boy was I wrong.
Now I started warming up to this web site when TSM began allowing video tags into posts, but what sealed the deal for me was when I learned you could rip music from music videos and save them as MP3.
Now I can re-live all my old-school rap tapes. Yeah, boooooy.
In just minutes I have re-established one of the greatest sides of a cassette tape there ever was. What set of songs am I talking about?
Aw fuck yeah. A two-tape collection of Too Short's material before he signed with Jive records. The A side to the first tape in this package is one of my all-time favorite set of songs. Now let me take a trip down memory lane [/biz Markie]
*************************************************************
Invasion of the Flat Booty Bitches
Forget about Mexicans, you don't want your town to be invaded by a bunch of Miss six o'clocks (straight up and straight down). Let's experience the horror
Well, at least Todd Shaw is results-oriented.
*************************************************************
She's a Bitch
Nearly 10 minutes of deep lyrics about the social commentary of urban America during Reaganomics. Common, the Roots and Q-Tip ain't got shit on this.
*************************************************************
The Bitch Sucks Dick
Are we starting to pick up a trend with these songs? Too bad this song gets cut off at the end because the best line is at the very end (see the bolded text).
*************************************************************
Blowjob Betty
Now some of you may be wondering, "kkk, I listened to Too Short's 'Get In Where You Fit In' album and he has a song there called 'Blowjob Betty.' Did he actually re-release this song on that album?" The answer is yes. Too Short has a tendency to sing the same songs on different albums, although I consider this version of BB to be more fulfilling. Call it the creme de la creme.
I won't reveal the story of Blowjob Betty, but let's just say it comes to quite the climax.
*************************************************************
Short Side
This is the second part to the Blowjob Betty track, or at least the background sounds the same. I don't care much for the end when he's messing with the vocals, but whatever. His first "biiiiiiiitch" at 0:35 is still my all-time favorite of his. Oh, and
...sounds vaguely familiar that's because it should be. I quit counting how many times I've heard this verse on his other albums. And God bless him. From selling tapes with Freddie B. in high school to millionaire.
8:15 p.m.
• Now this is odd. The much-talked about welfare brood from the better half’s family called us the other day. Well, I should say they called Mrs. kkk. And the matriarch of the clan asked Mrs. kkk who she was voting for in November. When the better half said “McCain” they asked if I, too, was voting for the honorable senator from Arizona. When Mrs. kkk replied “yes he is,” the toothless Mexican said, “you’re good.”
...
THESE PEOPLE VOTE REPUBICAN – WTF?!
Maybe I need to pay a visit to Camp Ron Paul. And here I thought our house would be crossing out their house’s vote.
Then again, Maybe they’re in the right party.
While that was my “wtf” moment of the week, my “you got to be fucking kidding me” moment came when I found out that my crack-whore niece-in-law was talking politics with the better half. She began saying how YOU KNOW WHAT OSAMA STANDS FOR and that he cares about poor people. Oh Jesus fucking Christ. The mere fact she is talking about voting makes me want to make it required that all voters must own property – much like is was back in the day. I told Mrs. kkk I’d break her kneecaps if she drove the niece to get registered. Did I say “break her kneecaps”? I mean, “be really really sad.” And to add insult to injury the niece didn’t realize that once she moved a year or so ago she had to re-register. Thanks to Mrs. kkk and her big mouth the niece now knows she would have been DISENFRANCHISED.
Here was my “And to think these people have the same voting rights I do” moment. I was flipping channels today and came across some Headline News segment with some guy talking to a group of first-time voters. All I can say is whenever we talk with a fuckball like the President of Iran, and he proceeds to send a nuke over, just make sure you blow up San Francisco.
9:15 p.m.
• Love the dateline, too. If it's his private property and it's not infringing on the rights of others (or any of that home owner's association rigamoroll), he can post whatever the hell he wants, bad speling and all.
Enjoy the free speech while it lasts. Once Osama takes charge I bet this will be the next house to be "foreclosed" upon. Damn Bush economy.
I've actually thought of creating a sign of my own. And, yes, it would involve Osama.
6:30 p.m.
• So I was never a huge AMG fan, although "P-Funk" has got to be one of my all-time favorite tracks because it used polka music used in this brief selection (still trying to find it on YouTube, but click here for an audio sample). However, what makes this great isn't the song, but rather the video and the comments that followed. Someone got served.
-- nice shit rip the great easy e
-- nice video
-- i luv this song
-- this is amg!!!
-- Good song, but not EAZY-E, check your facts. This is AMG, check wikipedia fool.
-- this aint eazy-e punk! its AMG
-- Dude this is eight ball and AMG who did this track, not eazy e
-- this is not easy e it is AMG you dumb fuck.
-- We al do know that's not Eazy E Rappin, right? RIGHT?!?!?! It's AMG From Quiks crew......Might want to change the title.
-- You stupid? It's not Eazy E, It's AMG, why do you think it's eazy e?
-- thats dj quik
-- You do realize this isn't an Easy-E song right? It's AMG, that's why he mentions DJ Quik. AMG is the artist. I love Easy-E tho, but you put up a song that aint even Easy-E's...uhh...ya. -w-
-- good ass song classic
-- AMG does this song.
-- Nice but its AMG
-- This song is by AMG, not Eazy-E.
-- Great song from AMG - not Eazy E.
-- was Eazy e really a part of AMG?
-- hi there love this song!
-- dude it's not eazy-e song...is by AMG..
-- its amg retard
-- man! only 3 comments that didn`t mensioned that it`s not eazy rappin
-- thats amg wit dj quick u fucken retard!@#!#!#!@#!# haha and u made all pictures of eazy e hahaha mental bitchhhhhhhhhhhhh
-- i love and my bitch ass mom better have my money
-- AMG
-- What the hell, This is AMG not Eazy-E! It's from the album "Bitch Betta Have My Money"
-- AMG not Eazy E
9:30 p.m.
• So last week the better half and I were watching this 100 Greatest Rap Songs of ALL TIME, or something like that. (I think there’s a TSM thread about this.) I have no idea why we were watching this. I had it on because it was late and I was curious to see if there were any “Where are they now?” features to the hip-hoppers I grew up listening. Mrs. kkk was watching just to laugh at the names (bitch got a slap for dissing my “Q-Tip” from A Tribe Called Quest). It was down to the last two songs and she asked me what I thought they would be. I said “Rappers Delight” should be number two and “The Message” should be number one. I was right on “Rappers Delight.” This is my all-time favorite song of any genre, and I’m talking about the 15-minute version – not the hippie 4-minute radio/video friendly airing.
Part I
Part II
I knew “The Message” wasn’t going to finish first because it was already mentioned, so the better half asked my thoughts on Number One. I actually pondered this during the commercials and said the following: “It will probably be something political and overrated – 'Fight the Power' by Public Enemy."
I was right.
Look, I like “It Takes a Nation of Millions” and “Fear of a Black Planet,” but “Fight the Power” is NOT the top hip-hop song of ALL-TIME. Put it at Number Three, but “Rapper’s Delight” and “The Message” are in a league of their own.
Speaking of “Rapper’s Delight” I have a childhood trama story regarding this tune. Back in its heyday, this song was often played by my two half-brothers. This of course got me listening to it on a frequent basis. For some reason, as a kid my favorite part of this epic was the verse that starts out, “Have you ever gone over to a friend’s house to eat and the food just ain’t no good?” I memorized this verse and suddenly this talent of mine to recite this urban poem of unacceptable dinner cuisine was something I was called on to perform whenever the old man was talking with one of his friends/acquaintances. Here is how most of these recitals began:
“Son, sing the ‘Cheese Song’.” (See the bolded text below for why it was the “Cheese Song.”)
“I don’t want to.”
“SING THE GODDAMN SONG~!
”Have you ever have you ever went over a friend’s house to eat and the food just aint no good? I mean the macaroni's soggy the peas are mushed and the chicken tastes like wood. So you try to play it off like you think you can by saying that you’re full. And then your friend says momma he's just being polite he ain’t finished uh uh that's bull. And so your heart starts pumping and you think of a lie and you say that you already ate. And your friend says man there's plenty of food so you pile some more on your plate. While the stinky foods steaming your mind starts to dreaming of the moment that it's time to leave. And then you look at your plate and your chicken’s slowly rotting into something that looks like cheese. So you say that's it I got to leave this place I don’t care what these people think. I’m just sitting here making myself nauseous with this ugly food that stinks. So you bust out the door while its still closed still sick from the food you ate. And then you run to the store for quick relief from a bottle of Kaopectate. And then you call your friend two weeks later to see how he has been. And he says I understand about the food baby bubbah but we're still friends.”
Even with these childhood memories, this is one AWESOME SONG. In fact, now that I’m older, there’s another verse that I prefer over the “cheese” verse.
I think the best part about this verse is about not letting Sucka MCs stealing rhymes when that’s just what the verse-teller actually did.
6 p.m.
• So my little part of the country has been in the news as of late. The latest DRAMAH~! Is an out-of-state chick that claimed some black guy robbed her and carved a “B” on her face after seeing her car’s McCain bumper sticker.
This just didn’t seem right from the start. Don’t believe me? Check the other place.
************************************************************************
------------------------------------------------------
And in response to a Jobber of the Week post:
************************************************************************
On top of my “rape”comment, said black-dark-skinned man carved a LETTER into her cheek. A letter. Trust me, the government schools in the Shittsburgh region aren’t that effective. And one would have to assume the perp would be able to READ the words "McCain" and "Palin."
However, what I REALLY got a kick of was this shithead who said his voters are RACIST~!
Oh please let this be the year you finally lose. Murtha is like our region’s own Robert Byrd in terms of creating his own little economy with DC money.
• Hey, who says the BUSH ECONOMY is all bad?
The fuck -- Illegals come and go from the U.S. for CHRISTMAS?! I'm surprised there's nothing in this article about Pedro not being able to buy presents for his 12 kids.
9:30 p.m.
• Looks like someone violated a speech code.
• Speaking of !@#$%$!%!$^%&^ers in the whitehouse, look what has happened since Election Day. Stock market free-falls, Russia sends boom booms to Poland's border, Putin is waving his albino pee-pee around. Now because questioning our leaders is the most PATRIOTIC THING a person can do, I want to know what Osama's plan is. Oh, and isn't there something better we can do with the money spent on this upcoming inauguration day?
We're in a RECESSION and children are starving somewhere.
Wow, being PATRIOTIC is the bee's knees.
9:15 p.m.
• And I thought it would be Joe Biden making all the gaffes.
Wow, and what a hard-hitting question regarding what dog to get his kids. Of course, later on in this conference a reporter axed a REAL question about taxing the rich, and Osama completely side-stepped the issue.
And for those who post at the other place and wonder why I didn't post here what I posted there, well here you go:
• So the better half watches "Survivor" and "Ghost Whisperer," which means she usually has this stupid gossip show on beforehand called "The Insider." Holy fuck is this program awful. Ever since the GOP Convention there always seemed to be a SPECIAL REPORT about Sarah Palin on this show. I'm not kidding. Every time Mrs. kkk had this garbage on before the cBS prime-time lineup there was a Palin Report -- whether it was SEX SECRETS or KNOCKED-UP KIDS or other things I had never heard of before. Last night before "Survivor" came on, and before I left the room because, I wanted to bet her that "The Insider" would include the latest PALIN SCANAL, either Gucci-gate or her opening the door to campaign aides with a towel wrapped around her. *Gasp!* Mrs. kkk declined the bet.
She was smart.
That was the lead story.
This prompted Mrs. kkk to shout out "Oh for God's sake!" and changed the channel. And what hard-hitting secrets were revealed about Osama? We got to see the NEVER-SEEN-BEFORE... wedding photos. Scandalous.
Oh, and to show my bipartisanship, when I heard Palin not knowing Africa was a "continent," my first response was, "that's because she couldn't see it from her house." Ba-da-bing! My second thought: "No wonder W.'s supporters love her so."
Hey, if there's a joke to be had, I'll take it -- regardless of Party loyalty. Fuck, it's not like the GOP has been loyal to me, big-spending bastards.
• LOL
LOLx2 -- I love my fellow red-state voters.
Christ, Osama sounds just like my ex-boss. You have to pick apart everything he says because he does so -- or at least when reading from a script. He respects the Second Amendment. That doesn't mean he won't try to rape it until it is just a pile of pink pulsating flesh.
Yeah, you'll just take the bullets away or sue gun makers into oblivion. You also won't be allowed to take your firearm out of its lock box. Of course you will have armed bodyguards.
Remember, it's your patriotic duty to question your leaders.
11:a.m.
• So four years ago when W. got re-elected a bunch of commie queers decided to take pictures of themselves with messages saying "I'm Sorry" to the rest of the world for who won the election.
This of course brought on the other side with a bunch of "I'm Not Sorry" pictures and hilarity ensued. Why am I talking about this? Because here we go again:
Oh, but wait, now we're all supposed to come together and circle-jerk:
And "my side" is engaging in this happy horseshit as well:
Awwwww...
...that just makes me want to...
...want to...
...want to...
WANT TO GAG~!
Yeah, I bet there would be all this "come together" garbage if McCain would have won instead of Osama. I'm sure all you 52ers would be going "Now's the time to come together" and other Koom-bay-ah shit.
But even though I QUESTION MY LEADERS IN WASHINGTON because I'm a PATRIOT, I guess I could give this "come together" pseudo-unification a try. Here we go...
Sorry, but Max isn't much into bipartisanship.
However, Max is one hell of a PATRIOT~!
• While I'm on the topic of QUESTIONING OUR LEADERS IN WASHINGTON, I also feel it's my PATRIOTIC DUTY to question our leaders in Medium-Large Media. With some reporters literally breaking down in tears on Election Night in joy of who won, will these protectors of the Fourth Estate be barred from any future relations with this administration? I think any journalistic credibility they possessed has just been flushed down the toilet, if it hasn't been already.
And haven't you been doing everything you can to make "this new presidency work" for the last year-plus?
And what's better than the video, the comments:
From Wiki, and my own memory:
OMGFAUXNEWSLOL19926~!!!!!!
Hey, Chris, you know how to make a new presidency work? YOU QUESTION THEM. Why? It's your PATRIOTIC DUTY. Oh, and you also remove the first letter of the President-Elect's middle name from all keyboards on Capitol Hill. That brings people together as well.
6 p.m.
• So Shittburgh's local left-wing rag's Sunday edition has yet another literary masterpiece from its editorial section. This time it's about gunz! The same topic I spoke about yesterday.
Listen up you ivy-tower fuckheads. Want to know the reason why some people are buying up firearms? It's because that U.S. Supreme Court case you point out in your piece of shit editorial passed with a 5-4 decision. That means all it would take is one additional red diaper doper baby to be appointed for this to go the other way. Odd how you didn't bother to mention this. Oh, and Osama IS ANTI-GUN. I know it's hard for you to see this since you're on your knees slobbing his knob, but that's why you have PATRIOTS like me QUESTIONING OUR LEADERS.
And speaking of questioning our leaders, I have to seriously question the judgment of Mr. Osama once I read this:
OMG, W. uses hand sanitizer. Yeah, because it's not like he doesn't shake many hands throughout the day. (Hmmm, "not"/"doesn't" -- does that double negative cancel out? Who knows, who cares.) Hell, I bet if W. didn't use hand sanitizer and Osama ended up with the sniffles a day later he would write in his memoirs that GEORGE W. BUSH TRIED TO KILL HIM WITH BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS~!
Just like the lemmings that stand there awestruck when you are reading from a script? But wait, there's more.
Boy, that's a good thing to know. Hey, what's this?
First he mocks the wife of a dead president, now he's offended by basic hygiene. I wonder if he's going to wash his hands after his last shit leading up to Inauguration Day? If not, I sure wouldn't want to be the next President to put his/her hand on that Bible. (I was going to make a "maybe he'll use a Koran instead" remark, but I'm doing my best to be bipartisan in these uncertain times.)
If questioning your leaders in Washington makes you a traitor, then call me Benedict Arnold.
10 a.m.
• So guess what was the Evening Daily Number for Illinois the day after Osama was elected?
I'm not making this up.
I'm pretty sure this happened in Pennsylvania after Fast Eddie got re-elected in '06. I'll have to search for this later.
7 p.m.
• Oh hell no.
You cunts had your chance when she was a running mate. Now you all can go fuck yourselves. The only exception to this is The View's Elizabeth Hassleback. Have a one-on-one with her on your show, but just keep the feminazi bitches out back.
10 p.m.
• So there's this McDonald's that is somewhat near me and unless I'm REALLY craving something from that place I tend to stay away due to the pisspoor service. And by pisspoor service I mean waiting 20 minutes for food. However, I went in today with my fingers crossed. Wasn't that bad a wait for this store's standards, but the highlight of the trip came when I saw this box near the condiment stand. The box was for some food pantry, and the hand-written message said, "Donate a canned good and get a free DERSSERT coupon."
Oh how sometimes I wish I had a camera phone.
9 p.m.
• Well that's nice. Don't pay your mortgage, get a reduction in principal.
Shit, this is even better.
If you haven't paid off even 10 percent of your home's current value YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE BOUGHT A FUCKING HOUSE TO BEGIN WITH! Go live in a dumpster.
• Every October the better half has an annual ritual that she does. She buys a pumpkin for each cat we have and takes a picture with them. Is this nuts? Yes. Whatever. We could be sacrificing goats or something. Other people do much worse. However, there is one bright spot to this story -- JJ is terrified of pumpkins. Yes, he runs away from these orange ovals whenever one is within viewing distance. You can set these things up along the floor and you could make JJ go in any direction you desire. Don't believe me? Here you go.
8:30 p.m.
• So for the last few days the better half has been bitching because we have been getting calls from Countrywide -- the place which has our mortgage. They call mostly during the day and she doesn't bother to answer the phone. Finally they called when I was home; about 30 minutes ago while posting picks for this week's kkk Bowl VI contest. I don't think they'll be calling again. No, I didn't wish cancer on the telemarketer, but I did make her laugh. Here's how the conversation went.
*ring ring*
"Hello?"
"Is this Mr. kkk or the better half?"
"Yes."
"This is so-and-so from Countrywide. Thank you for your business blah blah blah."
"OK."
"I'd like to make you aware of blah blah blah it will only take a minute to get a quote blah blah blah."
"Please don't take this the wrong way because it's not aimed at you. I am perfectly happy with the mortgage I have at my fixed rate. And I know whatever special offer you have for me will probably screw me over at some point. If Countrywide is happy with me making my monthly payment on time for the past four years I will be more than happy to continue making my payment with a little something extra each month..."
I was about to go into the housing CRISIZ and make some remark about giving loans to minorities, but I really wanted to get my kkk Bowl picks done. Besides, this phone conversation was recorded, and if I should ever make the news I can imagine that phone chat getting out to the media.
Then again, all a reporter needs to do is discover TSM and I'd really be in trouble.
8:30 p.m.
• Don't you know that placing bumper stickers on your care is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male?
Gee, I wonder who were making the complaints?
These are the MARINES~! Now I know we're in trouble. Thanks a lot, Terrorist-Elect Hussein Osama.
8:05 p.m.
• It's not even five minutes into the new "Ghost Whisperer" and the better half is already yelling out "Fuck you!" to the television. Not even the voice of Micheal Savage up here in the second-floor computer room can drown out her cries of rage coming from the first-floor living room. What's going on with this show? Don't ask.
"Ghost Whisperer." Michael Savage. No wonder kkk Jr. decided to off herself in the womb.
10:30 p.m.
• I don't pay much attention to the NBA and the money issues of teams. I do hear about how some teams are more concerned with clearing salary cap room than trying to be competitive on the court, and I guess if you are trying to think "big picture" then it might be necessary. But seriously, if you are a Knicks fan, why would you even bother following this team for the next several years?
I mean, I've constantly heard the "wait 'till next year" often enough, especially since the Pirates are my hometown team (actually, they don't even bother to say that anymore), but to dump players and free up cap room for the possibility of getting a big name in 2010?!
Then again, I don't live in an NBA city, so what do I know? I'm sure the people they traded away probably won't make the Knicks much better than they would be without them. Who knows. Who cares.I remember back in the 1990s some people actually thought Shittsburgh could support a professional basketball team. Too bad they could never get enough people to attend an NBA preseason game. Oh, and then there was some minor-league team called the Piranhas that lasted a season or two.
Check that. Make it a season. Hey, at least they made it to the finals in their year of existence.
Hmm, there is also a Pittsburgh Piranhas women's hockey organization. OK.
8 a.m.
• Wow, After years of finding the 382,234,672,236,190 worst things that you can do to a Muslim male, from having poorly positioned hospital beds to having pre-marital sex, I think I finally found something it has to be in the Top 10, if not higher.
No wonder they hate Western culture.
Man, it wasn't an easy choice to lead off with that joke when there's also a sure-fire "convert to Catholicism" crack to be had. Oh well, I made my joke. I'm standing by it.
10 a.m.
• Dude, you haven't posted anything in a while. What's up with that? Oh, yeah. I haven't had the time/desire to do so. Bummer, because I have yet to run down all the shit I bought during Black Friday.
Might as well Jew this one out. Here's a recent AIM conversation I had that has a couple good ideas in it -- or at least I think they're not all that bad. At least not as bad as my spelling. Holy Christ.
Fww76 (11:10:11 AM): remember the person i told you yesterday -- oil companies?
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:19 AM): yep
Fww76 (11:10:25 AM): surprise -- he has no job
Fww76 (11:10:27 AM): i told him
Fww76 (11:10:33 AM): start your own business
Fww76 (11:10:39 AM): lend yourself a shitload of $
Fww76 (11:10:42 AM): then ask for a bailout
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:46 AM): hahaha
Fww76 (11:10:47 AM): think it'll work?
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:49 AM): win
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:49 AM): yes
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:51 AM): god yes
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:51 AM): haha
Fww76 (11:10:59 AM): i just typed it not thinking
Fww76 (11:11:03 AM): then i looked at it
Fww76 (11:11:08 AM): thought, "damn, this might work"
Fww76 (11:11:26 AM): Uh, yeah, Barney Frank, I'm the founder of the KK Korporation
Fww76 (11:11:32 AM): my debtors aren't paying me
Fww76 (11:11:42 AM): who owes me? This deadbeat named *ME*
Fww76 (11:11:48 AM): he owes me like $2 million
Fww76 (11:12:11 AM): im sure someone's doing this already sadly enough
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER(11:12:16 AM): ford
Fww76 (11:12:35 AM): i'll accept them getting baiiled out
Fww76 (11:12:40 AM): only if they give the lions away
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:12:52 AM): to the government?
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:12:54 AM): LOL
Fww76 (11:12:59 AM): no
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:13:00 AM): let's see the government run a football team
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:13:02 AM): i like it
Fww76 (11:13:02 AM): but that would be funny
Fww76 (11:13:13 AM): be like $400 million over the salary cap
Fww76 (11:13:16 AM): nobody would get cut
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:13:43 AM): if the republicans run the team, they'll build a huge stadium on their players' pensions
Fww76 (11:13:54 AM): hmmm
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:13:55 AM): players playing until they're in their 50's
Fww76 (11:14:08 AM): that sounds more like the dems
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:14:13 AM): hahaha
Fww76 (11:14:13 AM): here's what i think the reps would do
Fww76 (11:15:01 AM): they would have everyone invest their $ back into the lions
Fww76 (11:15:10 AM): then take the $ and leave
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:15:14 AM): lol
Fww76 (11:15:16 AM): "oops -- FREE MARKET"
Fww76 (11:15:32 AM): wait 20 years, you always have to in order to see your investment gains
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:15:36 AM): they'd outsource the players
Fww76 (11:15:39 AM): lol
Fww76 (11:15:43 AM): NFL does that anyway
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:15:47 AM): true!
Fww76 (11:16:01 AM): Democrats would keep them until the 50
Fww76 (11:16:03 AM): 50s
Fww76 (11:16:07 AM): can't get rid of anyone
Fww76 (11:16:09 AM): jobs banks
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:16:37 AM): haha
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:16:45 AM): they'd lobby to expand the roster size
Fww76 (11:16:52 AM): lobby?
Fww76 (11:16:55 AM): they'd just do it
Fww76 (11:18:29 AM): sports talk radio will get the fairness doctring
Fww76 (11:18:40 AM): half-hour talking about how bad teh lions suck
Fww76 (11:18:46 AM): half-hour talking about how great they are
Fww76 (11:18:58 AM): "uhhh, they were winning 10-0 in the first quarter!"
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:19:15 AM): hahaha
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:19:22 AM): now that i think about it, this needs to happen
Utah/Boise State isn't my dream matchup for the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP, but when you play a REGULAR SEASON TOURNAMENT you never know what can happen each week. Great system there.
7 a.m.
• So I was doing some YouTube research for my "Askkking You" thread at the other place, and I took a trip down memory lane with the remix of Craig Mack's "Flava in Your Ear."
Then I saw one of the comments to this video.
This was released in '94-'95. It's not OLD SKOOL! I was in COLLEGE at the time!
Then again, when I was 8 years old, Run DMC's Rock Box came out and I consider that OLD SKOOL. And at the time I'm sure someone who grew up listening to Parliament-Funkadelic wondered what this shit was that those three rappers from Queens were doing. Looks like I may have edit my response to "Name an event which made you think, 'Fuck, I'm getting older.'"
Link.
Arrested? Uncle Sam ought to be making you in charge of Social Security. I guess the government cracks down on those in direct competition with its own Ponzi scheme.
Hey, you people elect them.
I have to LOL regarding "the rich" paying more for luxury items. Because it worked so well with George H.W. Bush taxed yachts during his administration.
I also have to LOL when people make fun of the South for being overwhelmingly Republican considering the Northeast is more Blue than the South is Red.
10:30 p.m.
• I like Charles Barkley. He's an entertaining fellow. But please STFU already about this.
As most of you know, when it comes to college football I know jack shit. However, once I found out Chizik was the defensive coordinator at Auburn a few years ago when the team was 13-0 and in a BcS "National Title" controversy I knew the "Number 1" reason he was picked. He's a good ol' boy that had success at the school not too long ago. Complain about that if you want. But when you, and other PC faggots, start throwing around the RACSIM~! card, most of us just roll our eyes and go "n*gga plz."
Charles added that Turner Gill would have won at Auburn if given the chance. Other ESPN pinheads have commented on Chizik's record at Iowa State. Fair enough. I wondered a bit why a 5-19 record warranted a career advancement. However, would Turner Gill have been successful at Iowa State after two seasons? Maybe Chizik was in a bad situation and wanted to get out. The Big 12 is a bigger playground than the Mid-American Conference.
Because I'm curious, I decided to compare the resumes of both Chizik and Gill. From Wiki:
Chizik
Gill
So which one would you take? I would go with Chizik because he played a bigger part in the success of the schools he was a coordinator at than Gill and his accomplishments. Guess that makes me a RACIST~! Then again, Gill's photo isn't on Wiki, yet Chizik has an image posted. Uh-oh. Could it be Wiki-RACISM~!?
