SWF Lockdown Card February 25

[Thoth 0]

The Smart Marks Wrestling Federation Presents...

SWF® LOCKDOWN™, LIVE , WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 25TH! FROM THE SOLD OUT NEW ORLEANS ARENA IN NAWLINS (NEW ORLEANS)!

(5pm PCT, 8pm EST; check local listings)

 

Send everything to Grand Slam.

 

It's mardi gras time! Put on your festive beads, bite the off dem 'der crawfish, and get ready to show your tits, because the SWF is coming to New Orleans! The path to From the Fire is being laid... HVille Thugg will return to his former place of employment for a street fight against Alan Clark, a match Commissioner Stevens made on Storm. But will the two clash tonight? Also, here's some more filler text

 

MAIN EVENT

INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION TITLE MATCH

Charlie "Grappler" Matthews© vs "Coyote" Coy West

Coy West took the second fall on Storm's three way. Matthews has the belt. In the tradition of matches where all that matters is who has the gold, this match is for you. Matthews has his eye on the ultimate prize that Va'aiga carries, but he shouldn't look past his foe tonight.

Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 6000

Send To: Grand Slam

 

 

YES THERE HAD TO BE A WACKY STIP MATCH

Ann "Ichiban" Onita vs Landon Maddix

Ann was on the winning team on the main event of Storm, and Landon was on the losing end. So they will fight.

 

But wait. Thoth has the book. You know what this means.

 

You remember the board game Mouse Trap? Alright. Around, above, and in the ring will be a Rube Goldberg kind of device. You can invent the details. The end of the device, though, is a cage with no bottom. The device must be triggered in multiple parts. When the final trigger is released, the cage will descend into the center of the ring, trapping anyone inside it. If there is no one in the center of the ring, the cage must be raised again by resetting all of the triggers.

 

Rules: Hardcore rules, first person to be trapped inside the cage loses, but there are only two people anyway.

Word Limit: 5000

Send To: Thoth

 

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT (NOT CRUISERWEIGHT) TITLE MATCH

Wildchild© vs Todd Royal

Dub-Cee defends the strap. It's cool the LHW is back and all. You know, I never cashed in my title shot on that. *cue music*

Rules: Standard LHW match. 20 count on the outside, not 10.

Word Limit: 5000

Send To: realitycheck

 

NON- TITLE MATCH

Aecas vs Sacred

Aecas captured the Hardcore Strap on Storm. Sacred defended his USJL. They don't have to defend their titles, but Aecas is going to go back into his element in a Hardcore match. Wait, did I say Aecas's element? He'd better watch out. Sacred's a mean, crazy mofo.

Rules: Standard hardcore match. Rules? Bwahaha.

Word Limit: 4500

Send To: chirs3

 

USJL #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs Johnny Dangerous

Here's a Haiku:

 

Contendership match

Bell clangs, smoky, shadowy

Spike and Johnny Fight.

Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 4500

Send To: chirs3

 

HARDCORE TITLE CONTENDERSHIP MATCH

Toxxic vs Jacob Helmsley

Toxic has been on a tear lately, winning matches left and right He faces pipe-maniac, Jacob Helmsley for a chance at his first title shot.

Rules: Standard hardcore match. Rules? Bwa.

Word Limit: 4500

Send To: Thoth

 

SINGLES MATCH

Janus vs John Duran

Guess what? These two hate each other! YYYAAAAAAAYY!. They will meet at From The Fire in a hardcore contest, but tonight the rules are in effect... for as long as they can stand not to break them.

Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 4000

Send To: realitycheck

 

SINGLES MATCH

Aidan Redmond vs Insane Luchadore

Aidan Redmond had a false start in his debut, and IL lost to Jacob Helmsley, on Storm. This time, one of them HAS to win. Rumors abound that Aidan has a chip on his shoulder... will we see it?

Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 3500

Send To: Suicide King

Edited February 24, 2004 by Grand Slam

[chirs3 0]

YES THERE HAD TO BE A WACKY STIP MATCH

Ann "Ichiban" Onita vs Landon Maddix

Ann was on the winning team on the main event of Storm, and Landon was on the losing end. So they will fight.

 

But wait. Thoth has the book. You know what this means.

 

You remember the board game Mouse Trap? Alright. Around, above, and in the ring will be a Rube Goldberg kind of device. You can invent the details. The end of the device, though, is a cage with no bottom. The device must be triggered in multiple parts. When the final trigger is released, the cage will descend into the center of the ring, trapping anyone inside it. If there is no one in the center of the ring, the cage must be raised again by resetting all of the triggers.

 

Rules: Hardcore rules, first person to be trapped inside the cage loses, but there are only two people anyway.

Word Limit: 5000

Send To: Thoth

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

....

 

 

It is the Cruiserweight Title, you herb.

[the.weej 0]

For reference, I'd just like to say I wash my hands of this card. I know there's only one goofy match, but I need to put it in writing.

 

-Z

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

So who's marking my match, then?

[the.weej 0]

I wash my hands of the BOOKING, fewl.

 

Of course, it's you, and I'm marking, so odds are Todd shouldn't even bother writing anyway...

 

-Z

[Guest ToddRoyal]

Err... The title of that match confuses me. Am I jobbing to WC in a title match or a contendership match? If I won the match (quiet, play along) would I get the title? or a future shot at the title?

[the.weej 0]

I think a minor SNAFU on Thoth's part. It's a title match for certain.

 

-Z

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Aye. Please clarify; whether or not that's a title match has significant bearing on how I intend to write it...

 

 

EDIT - Uhh, nevermind.

[HVilleThugg 0]

I'd like it to be known now that I will actually be in New Orleans starting tomorrow through Thursday. So, I guess I'll get a ticket and check out some SWF action.

 

I think everyone should write their matches like they are hung over from Fat Tuesday the day before.

 

Anyway, all kidding aside, since I will be out of town and will not have access to the internet, I will not be around to write anything. If you want to use Thugg...please clear it through Alan Clark (Rando). He has creative control over HVT until I come back so that he can continue to push our angle.

 

Rando, you don't actually have to do anything since we set things up on Storm, but if you want to do something, go ahead. Just make sure it fits within the rules that Stevens set on Storm.

 

Anyway...enjoy your show bitches...I'm off to get laid for 6 days.

 

Da "hung like a bull" H

[Secret Agent 0]

So it's due on Wednesday, not Friday right?

[Guest Suicide King]

I suppose we should all be grateful there's only one silly match. Although to be honest I think that match will be hilarious to read.

 

And I also think that CC should decide whether the title is the Cruiserweight belt or the Light Heavyweight belt. Apparently my naming it the Cruiserweight belt wasn't good enough. Z is mad with power I tell you! Mad!

[Thoth 0]

I just think LHW is a cooler abbreviation than CW.

[Secret Agent 0]

I think calling it the Light-Heavyweight title just sounds ugly. Cruiserweight Championship just has a better ring to it IMO. Even the WWE dropped the LHW in favor of the CW.

[Dace59 0]

I have the show off? Sweet.

 

Now, I can hope for the next card to give me a nice build to the ppv.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Well, my match will suck. I haven't played Mouse Trap in years, and the set I do have has about half a dozen pieces missing...so, I'm going to have to find some 'creative' from somewhere. Todd knows where from though.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

go watch old Tom & Jerry cartoons when he built that huge ass mouse trap. Or just look around for pictures on the internet...

 

Show off... i need it too, my last match (reading it over now) really wasn't what I wanted. I need time to recuporate before FtF.

[Guest Suicide King]

Hell, it's a humorous match. Don't limit yourself to what is in the Mousetrap game. Dress the ref in a cartoon cat outfit if you want, and watch Janus proclaim it "the best match EVER."

 

'Cause he's a furry.

 

You see, that means he likes the animal personification stuff.

 

Like cat costumes.

 

Oh, never mind.

[hhh6294 0]

Crap... I was kinda hopin for the show off... but meh... I guess I can skip work on Tuesday to write.

 

since it is a contendership match and all...

[Guest Aecas]

Hell, it's a humorous match. Don't limit yourself to what is in the Mousetrap game. Dress the ref in a cartoon cat outfit if you want, and watch Janus proclaim it "the best match EVER."

 

'Cause he's a furry.

 

You see, that means he likes the animal personification stuff.

 

Like cat costumes.

 

Oh, never mind.

Aha overlooked again I see

[Guest Evolution]

Well, Thoth, except for the fact that a match between Janus and Duran has already been signed for From The Fire, this was a dynamite card.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Ooooooh Ejirooooooooooo, it's ON~

[King Cucaracha 0]

Hell, it's a humorous match. Don't limit yourself to what is in the Mousetrap game. Dress the ref in a cartoon cat outfit if you want, and watch Janus proclaim it "the best match EVER."

 

'Cause he's a furry.

 

You see, that means he likes the animal personification stuff.

 

Like cat costumes.

 

Oh, never mind.

Riiight.

 

 

 

*slowly backs away from computer*

 

 

 

*runs*

 

 

 

*jumps into car and speeds off*

[Ace309 0]

And I also think that CC should decide whether the title is the Cruiserweight belt or the Light Heavyweight belt. Apparently my naming it the Cruiserweight belt wasn't good enough. Z is mad with power I tell you! Mad!

It's the Cruiserweight Title, if only because both WC and I went to pains to write it that way at Clusterfuck and because the new historian considers it a different title.

[Guest Aecas]

Good lord people are so close minded these days.

 

*takes the liberty of mailing a cartoon cat outfit to Maddix*

 

Join us.

 

Its bliss

[Thoth 0]

Description for the Janus/Duran match edited to better reflect their upcoming PPV brawl.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

since it hasn't been done yet...

 

 

I WANT OPENING PROMO~!

[Toxxic 0]

Hey, moving up the card! Guess I'm a lower-midcarder now. And I have to face the pipe-wielding maniac again? Oh well *pulls out ladder* let's give it a go.

[Guest Suicide King]

Aha overlooked again I see

 

Don't take it personally Aecas. I've been making fun of Janus for months about this. It's gonna take me awhile to feel you up. I mean out. OUT!

 

Crap.

Edited February 22, 2004 by Suicide King

[janusd 0]

Don't take it personally Aecas. I've been making fun of Janus for months about this. It's gonna take me awhile to feel you up. I mean out. OUT!

 

Crap.

You're gonna feel him up? *cries* How come -I- never get felt up?

 

*this stereotypical furry comment brought to you by a guy in a tanuki fursuit with a giant scrotum*