notJames

Change "Backlash" to "his inability to wrestle during his entire career" and you've got something there. FGB.

Did anyone else notice her rack on Monday? She definitely wasn't "natural" in the ring that night! **rimshot** Yep. I was getting a Kobe Tai vibe from her. She must have had them done when she moved to Korea. Too bad all her wrestling was done during the break. And by "Too bad" I mean "Thank fucking Christ."

He is. Sort of. As for Shelton, his finisher should emphasize his amateur background. So any kind of pinning suplex or throw would be good for his character. I would avoid any kind of power finisher. The best finishers are the kind that can be put on at any moment and be believable. Lifting a guy over your head after 20 minutes of hard work taxes the imagination a bit, especially for a guy like Shelton who isn't the biggest guy in the ring. Conversely, kick finishers are becoming passe too (Booker T, HBK, Jericho). Same with submission finishers, although having the Cloverleaf as an alternate finisher is fine to put on jobbers like Cade or Storm.

Actually, Christian's behaviour is pretty consistent with what I think they're going with concerning their relationship. Christian is a self-serving bastard, who got the girl by turning on his friend. So, of course, it stands to reason that Trish is more or less a trophy to parade around Jericho as a final "fuck you" to his rival. He doesn't have any real feelings toward her other than what he gets in the bedroom (supposedly), and if he acts a bit apathetic about her problems before his match, that's just an extension of said selfishness. If anything, that selfishness should play itself a little more and more every week until the eventual "kicking to the curb" by either person. If Trish does the ousting, she'll get the crowd on her side by "coming to her senses". If Christian pulls the plug, Trish will eventually get the sympathy of the crowd, which inevitably will lead to a Randy Savage/Elizabeth-type reunion at WMXXI for Jericho and Trish.

Rhyno's okay, but he doesn't have the look, size, or presence to upgrade past RAW JTTS. And truth be told, his mystique in ECW stemmed from the fact that he was able to curse left and right and put women through tables. He should just play someone's henchman, like a modern-day Virgil. That's about as good as it'll get for him from here on out.

I never said UT was "ok". I only said he was one of a handful to be successful with it. That doesn't change the fact of the gimmick's outlandishness.

Funny thing about losing to Tazz three times in succession: after each loss, the next week I was able to talk to him backstage each time. He'd say stuff to belittle the fact that I couldn't beat him, and depending on my response, I always got some SP+ points from him. One time, he was berating me for a loss, and Jazz walked up to him. He tried to hit on her, and I ruined his chances by insulting her. That got me 5 heel points! I'm now playing Season mode with CAW Mikey Whipwreck. My first show I challenged CAW Jamie Noble for the Cruiser belt and got my shit ruined. Damn me for making Noble omnipotent!

If people enjoyed the antics of one-dimensional cartoons like Kamala, the Honky-Tonk Man and Brutus the Barber Beefcake, that's their cross to bear. I just don't enjoy having to watch outlandish cartoons, any more than I have to put up with today's crop of carbon-copy frat boy no-names.

But that's the exception, not the rule. How many Goons, Red Roosters and Mantaurs can you go through before you find an Undertaker? I can't really think of five over-the-top gimmicks that went on to successful careers with that same gimmick. And just to clarify, when I say "gimmick" I mean over-the-top, stupidly-stereotypical or insult-the-intelligence-of-your-fanbase gimmick. Characterization and motivation are one thing, but to stick a guy in an anachronistic costume or make him some left-of-center caricature without some purpose that's wrestling related smacks of laziness and ignorance. Farrooq's first appearance springs to mind. I mean, what the fuck was Ron Simmons supposed to be? A Trojan warrior? A human bullet? A condom ad? Stupid shit like that makes me turn off my TV and hide the remote.

Gimmicks sell one-liners. Characters sell tickets and brand loyalty. If I can't invest in a character on some emotional level, I don't watch. Seriously, is "Eugene" gonna be a wrestler anyone cares about five months from now, let alone five years, after the gimmick has aged past its two-week freshness date? And what does that do for the wrestlers themselves? Are they compensated for the obvious damage stupid gimmicks like this do to their careers? You would think the higher-ups would have learned from the mistakes of the early- to mid-90s.

You're kidding, right? If you knew anything about Papacita, you wouldn't have asked that question. Anyway, the most annoying losses are the ones caused by my own hubris. I usually play SD!:HCTP with the intent on making my opponents tap out or performing some wacko diving move off of the Times Square marquee. So every once in a while, I'll be playing against someone with a high threshold for pain, like the Undertaker, so even though I've got him in the red and can pin him, I still go for the submission. A couple of missteps later, and I'm pinned after a Tombstone. The latter is even worse. I could be owning the guy for ten minutes, getting him to follow me to Times Square, but if my timing is wrong or the prone opponent isn't in position, I go splat, my health meter goes ca-ca, and I get pinned like a mofo. Case in point: I used Shelton Benjamin in Season mode and tried to win the Hardcore Title from my CAW Tazz. Three times I fell off the marquee, and three times he pinned me. At the end of the season, after winning a shot at the World Title at Mania, lo and behold, it's Tazz again. I fall off the HIAC, and the electronic bitch climbs down and calmly makes me tap. Aargh.

I didn't even realize he was missing from the show. Of course, I kinda tuned out when Benoit was in the first half hour of the show putting over a referee, but that's just me...

My funny bone is sensitive to dry wit, irony, scathing commentary and schadenfreude. Anything the common man finds funny is beneath me. However, I do have a strange appreciation for Peewee's Big Adventure. Make of that what you will.

No big loss. Of course, I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know.

Nope. But I'm sure WETA will make the monkey look good. (And no, I don't mean Jack Black.)

I think the Money Clip is now the Dragon Whip... you know, that spinning kick that JR had a coronary over but still managed to forget had a name, let alone two.

How would Jindrak and O'Hair legitimize the tag team division? By being pimped as a green tag team pushed too fast in a company that counted Rick Steiner and Judy f'n Bagwell as tag champs?!? They'd be better off giving the belts to the Duds for the umpteenth time and then retiring them for good.

Guys like Jindrak, Cade and O'Haire are the reason god created the FFWD button. How many chances can people be given before their mediocrity becomes apparent to those who refuse to see it? Vince and Co. need a reality check and fast.

Putting Jindrak in black face is probably the only way he'll get heat. Seriously, this kid's a lost cause. Hit the ejector seat now before he runs over someone who doesn't deserve it.

On Bowling for Columbine, there is a commentary track with the interns who worked on the film. They were all teenagers and extremely annoying, adding nothing to the film and babbling incessantly about god knows what. I turned it off after about four minutes.

I concur with the View Askew sentiment as well as with the LOTR Extended DVDs, although I enjoyed Pip and Merry much more than the other two Hobbits. Sean Astin and Elijah Wood talk over each other too much trying to expound on their ever so profound insights, while Dom and Billy are a laugh riot putting themselves over as the most important story arc of the trilogy. Peter Jackson should consider doing a "Pip and Merry Only" commentary track. Their stuff is golden. I also liked the commentary on the Heathers DVD. They pointed out a couple of little nuances and details that I never noticed before. Really solid stuff. And it might just be the Filipino in me talking, but I loved the commentary (as well as the extra goodies) on the DVD for The Debut. Ethnic insider humour always gets a thumbs up from me.

I used to write quotes from Pump Up The Volume on the desks at school all the time. That movie was a big influence on my formative years. It also introduced me to one of my all time favourite bands the Descendents. Incidentally, I used to be in a creative writing circle with Mark Ballou, the tall jock in PUTV. He was also the boyfriend of the girl Tom Hanks's character had a crush on in Big. I think he was also on a TV show about high school kids.

Searching for Bobby Fisher Just kidding, bps. I'll say all of M. Night Shamalamadingdong's movies. Very overrated. I guess you can add A.I. as well. I'm sure there are more.

Fool me seven times, HHH, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me.

Yeah... the "Staring At The Lights". I think all the Velocijobbers used it.