TheBostonStrangler

You call that hazing? Back in my day, I beat the living hell out of Ced Ordonez with a tire iron because he stepped in front of the TV while I was watching The Price Is Right. I have no idea whether that woman got $10,000 or $100 on the Plinko board! Ah, memories...

Because of King, I can buy pistachio nuts for half-price over the internet.

I'm deeply hurt that Gene Snitsky was completely left out. He's the BABY KILLER!

In terms of HDTV's, buy from Sony, Panasonic, or Samsung. Those are the best ones.

At least I outpopped Matthews and Dace. I'm pretty proud of that. I loved the TBS/Matthews stuff that went on in the match. Makes me wish I had gotten the chance to fight him at some point.

I think that you forgot to put Galatea in the #1 position. Because he's always #1. Old skool!

- HBK vs. Angle - RAW Title: HHH vs. Batista - SD Title: JBL vs. Cena - UT/Kane vs. Heidenreich/Snitsky - RAW Tag Titles: Benoit/Jericho vs. Edge/Christian - IC Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Muhammed Hassan - US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio - Cruiserweight Title: Some combo of Funaki, Spike, Chavo, London, Nunzio, Kidman, Akio, etc. - Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan/The Bashams (3 on 1) That's nine. Right now, Randy Orton, Eugene/Regal, Carlito (dunno his injury situation), and a couple others have nothing to do, and there's no women's title match. I'll assume that Orton will work an injury angle with the concussion and return after Wrestlemania, and that they'll give the 10th match to Trish vs. Victoria or something. They'll also do some stupid Raw Diva vs. Smackdown Diva competition to annoy the hell out of us. Remember the Miller Lite girls?

But who is babysitting for Hollyanna? I NEED TO KNOW!

Good to see everyone is hard at work on their matches.

Five point questions: 1) The winner of the 2005 Royal Rumble will be: John Cena 2) Who will be the "Ironman" of the 2005 Royal Rumble? Batista 3) Who will last the shortest amount of time in the ring? Scotty 2 Hotty 4) Who will get the most eliminations? (If there is a tie, you get your points as long as your guy was one of the guys who tied for most eliminations) Batista 5) Who will be the last man eliminated? Edge Three point questions...pick the man who will be in the Royal Rumble the LATEST (not who lasts the longest) out of the two choices below: 6) Rey Misterio or Eddie Guerrero 7) Edge or Shawn Michaels 8) Chris Jericho or Shelton Benjamin 9) Daniel Puder or Hardcore Holly 10) Chris Benoit or Muhammad Hassan 11) Paul London or Scotty 2 Hotty 12) Jonathan Coachman or the Hurricane 13) Booker T or Orlando Jordan 14) Kane or Gene Snitsky 15) Batista or John Cena One point questions: 16) Who will draw #'s `1-4? (One point for each correct person) Rey Mysterio, Batista, Rene Dupree, The Hurricane 17) Who will be the last four men in the ring? (One point for each correct person) Batista, Edge, John Cena, Booker T 18) Who will be the last RAW superstar eliminated? Edge 19) Who will be the last Smackdown superstar eliminated? Booker T 20) Who will draw #'s 27-30 (One point for each correct person) Booker T, Christian, Ric Flair, Eddie Guerrero 21) True or False: Coach will eliminate at least one person from the Rumble 22) True or False: We will see a surprise return sometime during the Rumble 23) True or False: Batista will eliminate Ric Flair 24) True or False: Somebody in the Rumble match will blade 25) True or [/b]False: HHH will interfere in the Rumble match in some way TIEBREAKER QUESTION: Give the exact time this year's Rumble match will last: 63:27

I had three entrances themes in my career. "Night Prowler" by AC/DC, "Godzilla" by Blue Oyster Cult (the one I used for most of my career), and I think I used "Burn to Burn" by Static X early in my IGNWF career. I hated that damn song, though.

*notices Sacred whining* YAY FOR SACRED! GO SACRED GO! I AMZ LOVING TEH MUZZUMS! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ultimate Matrix Collection Return of the King: EE Shaun of the Dead Napoleon Dynamite

Damn. Don't get my hopes up like that, man.

Bullshit. I'm not fighting Rando. If they don't sub Raynor in, then this match ain't happening.

*hits Thugg with a 9-foot stuffed Santa Manatee, then covers Thugg in tinsel*

I also fell in love witih My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss. The one guy constantly making passes at Damien is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. And Office Paintball was just hilarious to watch. I don't know why I chose this series, of all series, to watch (I hadn't watched reality TV since the original Survivor), but My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss has me back on the horse.

As Z said, there is nobody classier in this fed than Mark Stevens. Even if he screwed up, or ended up in a disagreement, which as all humans besides myself do, he only ended up there because he thought he was doing the right thing. He had one of the greatest gifts a person could have: He didn't talk for the sake of hearing his own voice. Very few people, in this fed and in real life, are able to get respect by being quiet and talking only when it's important, and Stevens is one of them. On top of that, he wrote the greatest pure face character the fed has ever seen. Edwin and Raynor were both great faces as well, but there was nothing as purely good as Mark Stevens...fitting that the nicest guy in the fed had the nicest character in the SWF. I always marked out for Stevens. The match Z mentioned, Edwin vs. Stevens, is the best booking I've ever seen in the SWF. Watching Mark lose that one, knowing that he was probably planning on retirement but praying he wasn't, reminded me of Cactus Jack retiring, and getting compared to Mick Foley is about one of the greatest compliments I can pay someone in the SWF. Mark and I talk on occasion, and I won't forget him congratulating me after the Red Sox winning it all...you could tell he was legitimately happy they won it, and happy for me, rather than just telling me that because he knew I was a fan. That was the great, defining quality about Mark: He went that extra mile, and you could tell that he meant everything that he did. No one in the SWF will ever touch him, and they should never try to. Amazing that a guy with a baseball gimmick came this far, huh? I'll miss you, Mark.

Classy, Thoth. Real classy. Congrats on the engagement, Pete. And I want my goddamn rematch with Ian. I'm sure he's progressed in his writing, but I feel that my college education has given me sufficient ammunition to beat a 5 year old in a writing competition. As long as he doesn't bust out the GNSKDJOSEJKJ!!! again, then I should be good to go.

I think that fewer long matches on TV would be a positive for the product. It accomplishes the following things: 1) It allows more time for interviews/angles. This way, people have more of a chance to develop some kind of character, as well as creating some midcard angles. Sure, this would also involve the writers pulling their heads out of their asses, but I think that a massive change in the style of the show would require that as well. 2) It makes the longer matches seem more special. If the matches are kept to 5 minutes or so, then when a match suddenly starts running long, it's a big deal. It makes the competition seem that much more legit. 3) The PPV becomes more special. When we see Benoit vs. Batista in a singles match every six weeks that goes 15-20 minutes, what could those two ever do in a PPV match together? If their collective load is blown on free TV, the PPV match just becomes a rehash. Making PPV seem "special" again should be a major priority for the WWE, and this would help accomplish it. 4) It makes the matches more exciting and hides people's flaws. Who wants to watch Gene Snitsky in a 14 minute match with Christian? Nobody besides the diehard wrestling fans are going to watch that. However, if the match lasts four minutes, features lots of spots, some angle development, and a little wrestling, then it will keep people's attention. 5) It allows more people to get on the show. If there are four matches, and the angles revolve around those matches, maybe a dozen to fifteen people figure into the show. By having a lot of matches, they get to show off their talent and make them household names. It just gives them more material to work with, which (if done correctly) would be a major positive in creating new opponents and feuds instead of the same old tired matchups we're always seeing. Make the roster go 30 deep, not 12. 6) It would help revive the Cruiserweight division. The cruiser division would be PERFECT for short matches with some cool spots, and there would always be room on the show for them. Exposing the cruisers to the mass audience would be just another big benefit of the show. Those are six reasons, off the top of my head, why a change in formatting would be good. I don't really want a return to Crash TV, since the nonstop swerves weren't helping anything, but shorter matches would increase interest in PPV's, expose more talent, hide flaws of talent, allow for more angles, and help keep channel surfers. That'd be a major benefit for the WWE, in my opinion. Ratings have slipped with the way things are going, so it stands to reason that a change in format would be worth looking into.

Man, I fucking sucked in Las Vegas. I feel responsible for their slump.

I'd like to point out that somebody else wrote me to no-sell the car. .... TOXXIC! ME! YOU! DEMOLITION DERBY! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!

So, we're at 10 replies, no one from the active roster has posted here, and nothing has been clarified. I'd have to chalk this up as a giant success, a step on the road to a totalitarian regime, and perhaps the third-best use of words behind the "STOP" sign and War and Peace.

That's it. Me and you, RIGHT NOW. *goes at Toxxic, gets tripped, breaks hip, and gets covered for the 1-2-3* MEDIC!

Someone beat Toxxic real soon. I don't need my numbers to look any less impressive.