TheBostonStrangler

Oh, c'mon, you know you loved having TNT, LDP, and Thoth on your CC crews, Z.

This is what I would do: 1) Push the people that sell the most merchandise. This seems like it's pretty obvious, but I think you could make a very good case that the people who do some of the best merchandise sales are The Hurricane, Rey Mysterio, Rob Van Dam, and Matt Hardy. None of these people have been pushed heavily in any real way for two years. Now, this could just be me, but it seems like if they're selling a lot of merchandise while being kept in midcard hell, their sales would go through the roof if they were pushed. On top of that, Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio, RVD, and The Hurricane all get massive pops when they're given something to do. Putting the four of these men in actual storylines, give them an opportunity to get over, and let them do something. 2) Build up the few unique matchups that you have now. There are five or six feuds that would be absolute money (or, at the very least, be something that we haven't seen done to death in the last two years), so these are feuds that should be massive deals on the shows: - Undertaker vs. HHH (hasn't been seen since WM X-7, I believe) - Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels (never) - Shawn Michaels vs. The Rock (never) - The Rock vs. John Cena (never) - Chris Jericho vs. The Undertaker (done at some point, I'm sure) - Eddie Guerrero vs. Shawn Michaels - Rey Mysterio vs. Shawn Michaels Now, you'll notice that a lot of those feuds have Shawn Michaels involved. Basically, in his last run, have him move from high-profile feud to high-profile feud. Have him win one, have him lose in most of them, and then put him out to pasture for good at Wrestlemania XXII. Although this doesn't put new people in the main event, it does give a lot of premiere matches to distract the people while they build up new stars. They can't tear the entire thing down all at once, so this would be an important thing to do. 3) Well, like I said, they need to build up some new stars. Therefore, what they need to do is build some new, unexposed people up. The five-six people that I could see getting the big pushes are: - Randy Orton - John Cena - Rob Van Dam - Chris Jericho - Batista - Shelton Benjamin Therefore, they need to slowly work these people into the main event. No more sudden thrusts into the main event. Work them into angles with the main eventers, but portray them as equals, not as punks. It doesn't require a lot of work on their part, and it'd work, most likely. Just make them look somewhat decent, spend a lot of time around the big boys, and then start getting their wins. 4) LOTS of definitive singles matches. It doesn't matter if people fight over and over again as long as the singles matches mean something (I would support some kind of ranking system, even if it's vaguely fabricated by the writers) and had decisive endings. 5) Offer a prize to every tag team that can stick together for more than 6 months (something like $500,000 or something like that) in order to create some teams. Offer benefits for creating real teams, tag finishers, etc. Some teams will last, some won't. See where they click, see where the fans react, and just have some fun with it so that everyone is contributing. You could have Stevie Richards beg to tag with an up-and-comer like Shelton Benjamin to get the money, you could have a tag team on their last ropes try and hang on for six more months, have the "wacky tag team that hates each other", the big guy/small guy, etc. Bring in a couple indy tag teams, and use this to rebuild the tag team with some legitimate tag teams. It creates storylines for the division, which is nice. Enough for now.

Hahaha, you lost the World Title to Johnny! *hopes nobody points out that he was stupid enough to intentionally JOB the JL Title to Brimerous way back in the day*

I stole a car last night. It was even better than stealing from a movie. And on a related note, is there anyone in the market for a 1988 Chevrolet Cavalier? It's got an AM/FM cassette stereo!

I'll always be totally gay for you too, Sly.

Five bucks said he faked it.

TNT, damn straight you're including me. Well, Mr. Zed, I've gotta say that you did a hell of a job here. From me throwing cabbages at you to begging for title shots. It's amazing how that goes, isn't it? You ended up doing a far better job than I could have ever done at the head booker job, and I'm glad you took it and ran with it. I mean, you never booked Hell In An Igloo. That's +10 points right there. I'm glad you enjoyed your time here, and I'm glad that you finally understand what I said when I retired. Sometimes, you just realize that there's nothing left to accomplish, and it's time to just move on with your life. You're obviously at that point now, and I'm sure the fed will miss you greatly. Still, make sure to have a good time in retirement. I'm still not quite sure how a crazy optimistic bisexual liberal Red Sox fan from Boston ended up being good friends with a crazy cynical anime-loving conservative Oilers fan (who used to cheer for the Yankees) from Edmonton. However, that just seems to be the way that life works out. Just keep rockin' out, because you, my friend, are fuckin' metal.

That's it. I hit 20 HR's in the first three months of the season, and I'm wasting away on those goddamn Houston Horny Toads. NO MORE! Patrick Hannon wants a trade, dammit.

Am I the only one who reads these posts about not selling and wonders when Silent is gonna show up?

Yay for Breaking Kayfabe! Awesomeness, although it is sad that we'll never get another Grand Slam return.

Hayabusa.

It came across great on TV, however. I was watching with my father and we were both laughing. I thought it was an excellent tribute to Dangerfield.

I always wanted to see Judge Mental team up with Ejiro Fasaki. It was a match made in heaven.

At long last, I can finally say that I'm not ashamed of everyone else that was in the Alley with me (besides Da Bomb, of course, who was a regular tour de force). It's going to be very, very, VERY odd not having you on the roster anymore, and I'll miss ya, man. From Snow Demon to Jeremy Miller to Thrilla Milla to Mike Van Siclen (and let's not forget that wonderful run as Quiz), you ended up going from JL'er 4 Life to a respected SWF star. Good work, man. I'm proud of ya.

Neilsen, what's happening? Glad to see you're still alive. Where exactly are you right now?

I nominate Toxxic. I have no reason to do so, since my limited contact with him has been quite pleasant, but I think it'd be funny to think of him reading this, laughing at the tools, then having his eyes go wide, then realizing the joke that has been played upon him and laughing uproariously at the hilarity of this extremely long run-on explanation that shows no signs of ending anytime soon and I really do wonder how much longer this kind of thing could be funny, although that's never been a problem for me, since I don't care about being funny, which is once again evidenced by this current joke that I am still in the process of typing right now and I'm kinda wishing that I hadn't started and now Toxxic, no longer finding the joke funny, is just rolling his eyes and wondering why I couldn't have picked Mike Van Siclen or Dace or somebody else to play this joke on and I think I'm feeling a little faint in the head, probably from lack of oxygen because of how much I've been talking in the past min.... *passes out*

I second the nomination of Erek

Tom Flesher, Danny Williams, and myself (because I am so awesome OMG) are my three nominees.

Tom Flesher

Yay at being listed ahead of Raynor, despite having the same number of days with the belt. And now, without further ado, it's time for Strangler's Fun Fact of the Week! FUN FACT: The number of my house is the same as the total days I spent with a belt in the SWF: 119~!

If you only read one promo this month (which, knowing me, is quite likely to happen), make it this promo. Uncle Filthy is hilarious.

But when we were done, you told me that I was really good and that sometimes things like that happen to all guys! You lying slut!

Manson, can I borrow your lollerskates?

I wrote a surprise Strangler vs. Edwin MacPhisto match. It was shorter than I expected when I realized that I could just no-sell everything, look at Edwin funny, make him wet his pants, then have him fall down and BEG for me to pin him. I think it should make an excellent main event. Oh, Johnny and Toxxic, sorry 'bout that, but that's the new main event. And it's for the World Title. I'm sure you guys understand. haha I love me

Too late. I've already challenged the puppy to a Cage Match. I'm going to beat the living hell out of it for 30 minutes, no-sell its offense, pin it, and then shake its hand to put it over afterwards.