Angel_Grace_Blue

Oh, yeah. That. Totally yoinked from Hedberg, who kicks ass.

Bumped because Thoth mentioned it on the Thoth Report, and it's still funny. If the link does not work, I've got it saved, so I should be able to send it to anyone that needs it (Unless it's Toxxic, because his internet explodes after two hours).

I do, WC. Not sure how you gathered that from the Thoth Report (Then again, I don't remember what I said)

I said it in chat, but it needs to be repeated: Seriously, fuck Chris Wilson.

Yes, yes it was. I totally super-won.

If needed, I'll bow out of my next appearance so that people who haven't yet gone can go. Unless someone really wants my insight or whatever.

So, was this a one-time only thing, or will all future Thoth Reports have to be four-people crews? Also, Jay Hawk smells for having dial-up.

-MAIN EVENT- -TAG TEAM MATCH- El Luchadore Magnifico © & Jay Hawke © VS Wes Davenport & Wildchild This is a good one. Mags is nigh unstoppable, as is Hawke, for the most part. However, never, ever count out Muzz or WC, especially the latter in a tag match. I'm going with the champs this time, though. -LETHAL LOTTERY- -LUMBERJACK TAG TEAM MATCH- Asian Underground (Akira Kaibatsu © and Michael Cross) (3-0) Vs. Insane Luchadore and Kevin Coyote (3-0) Hurf...I'll go with AU, if only to basically clear up IL and Coyote's schedule for the PPV. ULTRA-VIOLENT TITLE MATCH HELL IN A CELL (block 40) Bruce Blank Vs The Crimson Skull Special Guest Referee: Ghost Machine 2.0 I really like the Skull. I really do, which is why I'm picking him. Go Skully~! LETHAL LOTTERY MATCH SHACKLES MATCH SpYon ("Hollywood" Spike Jenkins and Zyon) (3-0) Vs. Jimmy the Doom & Manson (3-0) A fucking bear. And then A fucking bear will face off against An Octopus at From the Fire. Seriously. SWF INTERNATIONAL TITLE CONTENDERSHIP THREE-WAY ELIMINATION Christian Fury Vs Landon Maddix Vs Arch Griffon Hmmz0rz...Fuvolution pride, yo. -PRISON BITCH MATCH- Amy Stephens Vs. Matt “Bubba” Myers I'm going with Myers, when Edwin writes for/as him. But I doubt that will happen, so that Stehepns kid. Speaking of which, what are the Stephens parents doing to their children to give them such an inferiority complex? "You didn't finish your peas? Typical, because you are a worthless pile of shit!" *beating with a toaster ensues* OPENING MATCH Stryke Vs. Sean Davis Dizzavis. I wouldn't be surprised if Stryke pulled it off, though.

Mick Jagger's Liver and the Dick Whistlers You could use any other famous person and his/her internal organ if you want.

I liked most of the digital short, as it reminded me of The Party Andersons' "Cocaine", but Andy's role seemed like it was kind of stuck in there, as if "Hey, Andy, Jorma, and Akiva wrote it, Akiva directed it (Along with apparently most of the digital shorts), and Jorma made the beat, so Andy has to be in it, as he's a cast member. Put on a viking outfit!" I noticed that Samberg's dancing in the Wake Up, Wakefield skit was a lot like when he danced with his mom in Awesometown (Which wouldn't be the first time an Awesometown skit was used in SNL, as Glirk was first done in Awesometown. Just waiting for Castaways to make it.). I've never seen a Nune skit before, but this one was a bit insane, and I'm a fan of insanity. And honestly, I'm only watching because Andy is on the cast, but for the most part, the episode was decent.

Lobster Fandango Muffins Giant Gonzales and the Happy Fun-Time Kids

Who are you?

Since my name was stolen from 665, I'll steal this too: Dear Metallica (Re: Your New Album): FUCKING QUIT ALREADY

2'4", just like An Octopus. Okay, more like nearly 5'1". Call it 5' 4/9" or something.

BJ's from Hawaii, so I'd say poi.

Toothbrush shanks!

I couldn't vote 'La Parka' which is what I always vote, so I picked yes. Wackiness is good in small doses. Or large doses.

G0R0ina.

Arlo Guthrie - "Alice's Restaurant"

Promo - Ripping Off Sacred to an Extent "Finally!" Lil' Buck exclaims. He emerges from inside a dairy case, triumphantly holding a gallon jug of milk aloft. "Gots one dat ain't gon' expire until 2009!" He starts walking to the check-out area, only to find all of the registers occupied, and with at least twenty people per line. "Fuck dat shit! I just take a little drank..." Buck mutters. "Damn, dat's some fuckin' good 10% milk. I think it's just cream actually..." Buck sways, growing drowsy from his dairy treat. He takes another gulp and drops the container. "I just take a nap..." Buck mutters. And that's where he's been all this time. Seriously.

Promo - Better Late Than Never It's a bright, sunny day, and Chris Wilson is walking down the street. Doo-wah-ditty-ditty-dum-ditty-doo KA-BLAMO! From out of nowhere, Ted Polack, also known as mother fucking Thoth, rushes out, knocking Wilson to the ground. "YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU ARE INVOLVED IN AN INTERNET-BASED WRESTLING FEDERATION! STOP ACTING LIKE THIS IS SOME IMPORTANT SHIT!" Thoth screams. He then proceeds to beat the shit out of Chris. Literally. Wilson craps himself from the assault. GOdrea also joins in, because FUCK CHRIS WILSON. Seriously. Fuvolution. It is back, and better than ever.

Zing~! And also SPICY BURNSAUCE~!

Edited for accuracy

The Main Event (non-title) El Luchadore Magnifico © vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix © Durr...Mags never loses. Unless he does. Lethal Lottery Match (Pool A) Stryke and Wildchild (1-1) vs. The Asian Underground (Akira Kaibatsu © and Michael Cross) (2-0) Hmm. I will have to go with WC and Stryke, if only to frustrate the bookers. Lethal Lottery Match (Pool C) Insane Luchadore and Kevin Coyote (2-0) vs. Ced and Laberinto (0-2) Luchayote. Lethal Lottery Match (Crosspool) Rush Hadrian and Todd Cortez (1-1) vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins and Zyon (2-0) The Hollywood Zionists. Oh. Other Zyon...still those guys. Lethal Lottery Match (Crosspool) Drunk and Disorderly (Amy and Bruce ©) (1-1) vs. Jay Hawke © and Arch Griffon (0-2) Blorkle...Hawke's a solid writer, as amz Toxx. Blank and Arch are both lumpy, lumpy men. DnD with their +15 damaged livers (Note, I've got no clue about dungeons and dragons, I'm just basing that on things I've heard used to make fun of it.) Opening Bout Christian Fury vs. Ghost Machine 2.0 Fury is angry, and robots do not know human emotions, so, the cold, calculating steelyosity of GM2.0

FUCKING YES! AN OCTOPUS > STRYKE AWESOME!