Mr. S£im Citrus

And where is Liston these days, by the way? Toxxic should change his tagline to "building his career over the corpses of one former tag team partner at a time."

Mike Van Siclen says, "This is an angry statement that has been edited as a result of my own better judgment. Thanks, Tom." Please, don't hold back on my account... Now that sounds like a challenge if I ever heard one... And yeah, I was referring to the Dace/Aecas version of the UT that we beat, not the Janus/Aecas version that we lost to.

Hey man, my career ain't over yet; I'm coming back. Me an' Johnny are gonna get that three-peat.

I feel like a good movie that comes out in the summertime that gets forgotten by February (or whenever they nominate movies for the Oscars). I'm going to give in to a little self-indulgence and nominate Wild and Dangerous. I've had to take off a lot of time from writing, due to my military obligations, so W&D didn't get the chance to dominate like we could have, especially given the lack of competition. In fact, if I hadn't had to go on an indefinite hiatus in April, we would have already become three-time tag champions. As far as why we deserve consideration, allow me to try to make my case: - Two-time SWF Tag Team Champions - third team in SWF History to accomplish this feat. - 75-day Tag Team title reign - 7th longest in SWF history. - Title reign highlighted by key title victories/defenses against: the Unholy Trinity, the Unnamed, the House of Todd (twice) and Hollywood Boulevard. - Most impressive title defense: probably From the Fire '04, against the House of Todd. Hell, Todd still hasn't come back from that spinning piledriver we put on him... In fact, come to think of it, we probably deserve special recognition for inadvertently launching the singles career of Landon Maddix. And while our reign wasn't as lengthy as some others (hell, it was only the third-longest in this nomination period!), our 75-day reign was earmarked by a lot of title defenses, considering the short span of time. We probably had as many title defenses in seventy-five days as HB had in a hundred and thirty. Not only that, but while Justice and Rule dominated 2003 without question, Wild & Dangerous were widely considered by many to be the one team that was a serious threat to them... Judge and Ejiro included. Hell, they even conspired to split Wildchild and Johnny up, just so that we wouldn't take their belts from them! Well, that's all I had to say. I'm sure that HB will probably win, and I'm equally sure that they will have rightfully earned it, but I just wanted to remind those of you who may have forgotten, or were otherwise not around to see it, that Wild and Dangerous was pretty good, too. - Dub "and not for nothin', but the only time we ever faced HB... we won" Cee

Johnny for most improved and most underappreciated. Quite frankly, in fact, the lack of love for my tag team partner makes me a sad panda... I mean, come on now, honestly: who in the fed, besides myself, ever thought that Johnny was World Title material? Hell, for the first half of the year, most guys here still thought of him as "Dub Cee's partner." Best Booker? I'm partial to Zed, but I'd go with anybody but Thoth!

This award is rigged; Taamo can't lose.

Stryke! ... Well, no, not really... But Mark gets my vote. Or nomination. Or something. Andrea, too.

Well, maybe if CC would get off their collective asses and induct somebody...

Pfft! I was granted creative license by the head booker himself...

... I thought you were Syndicate...

Toxxic, when you're declared the God of Heels, and have a holiday named after you, you can have more heat than King... As far as the comments that I wrote... no, bitterness had nothing to do with it. I'm guessing that you're not all that familiar with Frost, because that's exactly the sort of thing he'd be likely to say... And anyway, why should I be jealous of HB? Wild and Dangerous was a better team, and the last time we faced them, we beat them... for the titles, in fact. They get mad propers for breaking J&R's record, but Johnny and I had as many title defenses in seventy-five days as they did in a hundred and thirty, so YMMV. Besides, if anybody should be upset about HB holding the record, it should be Judge and Ejiro... - Dub "hrmm... 'have a merry Kingmas and a Toxxic New Year' does have a certain charm" Cee

.... Then I claim victory by association; I don't know San Jose, but I know NBA baskteball, and I know that the Houston Rockets play in the Compaq Center.

I'm fairly certain that there aren't two American Airlines arenas; there's an American Airlines Center in Dallas, and an American Airlines Arena in Miami.

The "sometimes being underway sucks" edition! SWF Countdown to Genesis and HOLT report September 19, 2004 Pasadena, California at Rose Bowl Report by Kamuel Presley of Chicago, IL Smartmarks.com reader - I won the contest! Kick ass! I got to meet Frost and TNT, and even got to watch the PPV with them in their luxury box! Countdown to Genesis: - Aecas defeated Michael “Spike” Spaster in 6:45. Aecas looked like he’s been keeping in shape over in Japan, and dominated most of the match. Spike got some offense in late, and even had the Black Angel up for the Saint’s Demise, but Aecas got out of it. He ended up winning with the Wings of Fire. - The opening video package featured the feud between Manson and Max King, focusing heavily on how their rivalry has built to a head since Max King cost Manson the USJL Title. Afterwards, Kevin Cole conducted an interview with Max King and Kelly Connelly. Kelly did all the talking, though, saying that the real reason Manson lost the belt was because he wasn’t worthy of it. He said that it was a crime when Manson held a title in the SWF and Max King did not, and that was why they did what they did. She went on to proclaim King as the future of professional wrestling, and said that Manson would only be a stepping-stone to greatness. - Fugue beat Alan Clark in 7:04 with Harmony. Solid submission match that set the table for the Caged Heat match. - The second video package was a spotlight on John Duran’s career, from his domination of the SJL to his difficult road to the SWF World Title, to his injury-plagued downward spiral. They showed clips from Duran’s most recent doctor appointments, closing the video package with the doctor telling Duran that he only has one match left in him. After the vignette, Ben Hardy interviewed Duran, asking him how he felt knowing that he was about to wrestle his last match. Duran responded by saying that every time that he thought about it, he wanted to strangle his doctor. He talked about how wrestling had been his life for as long as he could remember, and that walking away was one of the most painful things he’s ever done, but that he was proud of what he accomplished in the SWF. When asked what we could expect from his match tonight at Genesis, he simply walked off without comment. - Michael Craven beat CIA in 9:44 with the Gulf Coast Crunch. The match was back and forth until Craven countered a flying shoulder tackle with a Hot Shot. - There was a commercial break during which Mak Francis came down to the ring with a t-shirt gun and fired some t-shirts into the crowd. Then Funyon actually introduced me as the C2G winner! Frost and TNT held me upside down against the glass while everyone was looking at me; I hope one of my boys got a good vidcap of it! - Stryke and Viktor Tarakanov beat Renegade and Syndicate in 11:34, when Tarakanov beat Syndicate with the Bolshevik Revolution. - After the show came back from commercial, there was a third video package that featured Revolution Zero, emphasizing their attempts to capture four championships on one show. Afterwards, Bobby Riley interviewed Revolution Zero. The central theme of the interview was for R-0 to comment on their unprecedented attempt go four-for-four in championship matches at Genesis. Davis spoke confidently saying that Austin Sly wasn’t even suitable for a warm-up, and that he was going to have more than enough energy to beat both members of Hollywood Boulevard… by himself, if he had to. Riley used that as an opportunity to ask Spike how he was going to be able to put up with the rigors of a ladder match and still have the stamina to help Sean Davis win the Tag Team titles. Jenkins required by saying that it wasn’t going to be a sweat at all, because Dustin and Birdman didn’t belong in the ring with him in the first place. He said that it probably wouldn’t take him five minutes to grab the belt, and then he’d have plenty of time to rest before they beat Cortez and Van Siclen. Riley then asked Toxxic about getting his rematch, but Toxxic kept his comments brief; he said that he made the mistake of taking Johnny lightly once, and that he wouldn’t make that mistake again. He closed the interview by saying that the time for talk was over with, and that he would do the rest of his talking in the ring. - Dace Night beat the Memphis Eel in 2:58. The Eel got off to an early start, hitting Dace with a piledriver, which Dace promptly no-sold. Dace won with the Defenestration. - The final video package was an extended recap of the rivalry between Mark Stevens and the Suicide King. Cyclone Comet conducted an interview with Mark Stevens and Landon Maddix. Maddix showed uncommon humility in the interview, deferring to Stevens, who had a lot to say about King. He said something to the effect of being tired of going around in circles with King, and that the two of them needed to “settle things, once and for all.” It was one of those interviews where you’re so engaged, that you just become immersed in it all. - Danny Williams beat Va’aiga in 19:26. Va’aiga came out first and said that he wasn’t going to be left out of the biggest show of the year, that he wanted someone to come out and face him, and that he didn’t care who it was, so imagine his surprise when “Jester’s Dance” kicked off! It was great to see these two drop bombs on each other one last time… Danny won with an Elbow Suicida. Genesis: - Recording artists Brandy and Monica performed the National Anthem. I’ve never heard the anthem sung in two-part harmony, but it was very well done. - That ladder match was fucking sweet! Ryan Dustin really showed me something; I wasn’t sure who was going to win until the very end, but that was easily the best match of the night! - Eel showed up in the suite just before the Hardcore Title match; Frost was giving him all kinds of shit for losing to Dace. Then TNT got into the act… it was hilarious! - Poor Sly didn’t get up after that piledriver. He had to be taken to the back on a stretcher. And then, Davis added insult to injury by walking alongside him and talking trash all the way to the back; man, that guy is a dickhead! - After the Caged Fury match, Alex Zenon came down to ringside present the inductees of the 3rd class of the SWF Hall of Fame. The inductees for this year’s class were Axis, Pimp Daddy Sarp, Chris Wilson, Longdogger Pete and El Luchadore Magnifico. They then showed a ten-minute video package that highlighted the Hall of Fame ceremony from the night before (which I got to attend!). Afterwards, the inductees were re-introduced and recognized with a five-minute standing ovation. PDS got the biggest pop, probably because it’s simply been so long since he was in an SWF ring (although, technically, he was never actually in an SWF ring…). What’s really great about it was this was the point in the show when Frost and TNT really got started up with their own running commentary. They started out talking about all the inductees: which ones they’d fought, and which ones they’d beaten… they even made a bet with each other about which one of them was going to make the Hall first… and I couldn’t hope to do justice to the tooling they did on LDP! - Both Duran and Grappler managed to leave the ring under their own power after being tended to by the medics. They walked back up the aisle side-by-side, and then shook hands before going backstage. Considering what the two of them have gone through together, it was a very powerful moment… of course, Frost then proceeded to break up the moment by suggesting that the two of them get a hotel room… - You know, I don’t like Revolution Zero much (as in, at all), but part of me was glad that they beat Hollywood Boulevard. I mean, those guys broke Justice and Rule’s record, but they never impressed me as a dominant tag team. Plus, winning this match was essential to R-0 saving face, after predicting a sweep. I made the mistake of asking Frost and TNT how Hollywood Boulevard compares to Chilly Chilly Bang Bang, and got a ten-minute lecture on how HB can’t hold CCBB’s jock strap. I’ve never heard so many different ways to say, “overrated pieces of shit” before in my life. - David Cross showed me a lot of character when he regained the USJL title; American pride, yo! Frost said that he should come out of retirement and kick Cross’s ass, just so that he can rename the belt the Icelandic championship. - That six-man was epic! I mark out for “Love Rollercoaster” every time! Maddix really came into his own tonight, too. I expected to see him take a back seat to the other five guys in the match, but he really looked like he belonged out there. We may have seen the birth of the next big SWF superstar! He impressed even Frost and TNT; Frost’s exact words were, “he doesn’t look like half the screw-up he did the last time I was around here.” High praise coming from him, I'd imagine. - I swear, I had a lump in my throat when Flesher left his boots in the ring. It was so simple, and yet, so appropriate; I couldn’t hope to do it justice. Now that his career is over, you can’t help but appreciate his contributions to wrestling, even if you weren’t a fan of his. A first-ballot Hall-of-Famer without question! Frost was even a little teary-eyed: “He was the greatest guy I ever had the pleasure of throwing through a pane of glass,” were his exact words. - Toxxic is a relentless bastard. He never struck me as being that tough, but apparently, his desire to regain the World Title brought something out in him that I’ve never seen before. To see someone like him in tears over winning the World Title stunned me a little. Once again, Frost killed the moment, saying that Toxxic needs to change out his tampon and stop making all the other former champions look bad… I tell you, man, those guys were fucking hilarious! Whoever’s running the SWF should definitely think about hiring them as commentators! Biggest Pops 1) Edwin MacPhisto 2) Mark Stevens 3) Hall of Fame inductees 4) Johnny Dangerous 5) Ryan Dustin Most Heat 1) Suicide King 2) Toxxic 3) Revolution Zero (Jenkins and Davis) 4) Max King 5) Ace Lezaire

:: nods :: Duran, you were my favorite guy to pick on in character, but I always thought of you as a good writer... for a hoss, anyway... Fair winds and following seas. - Dub "Crash" Cee

:: checks Tom Flesher off of "available HOLT wrestlers" list :: Sir, it's been an honor. - Dub Cee

It should be me; Duran deserves a win over Wildchild before he retires.

Yeah... that's never happened before...

This makes me wonder why no one ever uses TdK as a referee?

I thought you already lived in Illinois?

Grappler's all class.

Well, everyone who was in the running to have more heat than you decided to turn face, so...

The "Holy Shit! Dub Cee did the HOLT on time" edition! ================= SWF Storm HOLT report September 3, 2004 Detroit, Michigan at Joe Louis Arena Report by Michael Respert of East Lansing, MI, Smartmarks.com reader Dark Matches: Judge Mental (substituting for Justin Bowers) pinned “The Paladin” Chance Silver at 2:04 following the Surprise Witness. Suicide King came down to the ring before introducing Judge and announced that this match had been booked before Bowers got injured, and that Judge Mental was going to have to substitute for him, or be fired. Needless to say, he got plenty of heat for that. Candace “Dragon” Okimurra (with Lobo) beat Ebony by submission at 5:18 with the Asian Death Lock. Lobo knocked Ebony off the top rope when she was going for the “Man is Obsolete” splash, giving Candace enough time to recover. Dace Night and Manson beat Déjà Vu at 8:31, after Dace hit Kross with the Defenestration. SWF World Cruiserweight Champion Tom Flesher (with Alison Onita) pinned Alan Clark (with Edward James) at 11:09 with the Ego Buster in a non-title match. SWF World Heavyweight Champion Johnny Dangerous pinned “The Icon” Max King (with Kelly Connelly) at 14:27 after Death From Above in a non-title match. Storm: - Funyon came into the ring and announced that Mike Van Siclen had food poisoning, and was unable to compete tonight. Instead, we got a substitute match, which saw Jamie Drazon beat Martin Hunt at 6:44, after reversing the Sweet Southern Comfort into the Demolition Dreams. - Not since the heyday of Déjà Vu have I seen a game of Paper Rock Scissors used to determine a fall! Plus, they beat up on Blazenwing a lot, and you can’t go wrong with that! - A lot of fans at ringside started throwing trash into the ring after Ace Lezaire won the USJL title, but I don’t think he was too bothered by it; he snatched the belt away from the referee and began celebrating as if we were actually cheering him! - After the Birdman/Dustin match, Spike Jenkins snuck down to the ring while Dustin was still distracted by Flesher and attacked Dustin from behind! He knocked Dustin out and then began staring down Flesher himself, shouting to him that it was “his” title, until Birdman came back into the ring to make the save, but then Sean Davis ran down to the ring to save HIS partner. Flesher walked back towards the locker room, leaving Birdman and Dustin to get beat down by Rev-0. - After the Duran/Xavier match, they showed a video vignette teasing the return of Perfect Bo on the SmarkTron. Reportedly, it’s the same vignette they aired last week on Lockdown, but this was the first time I’d ever seen it personally. - Man, Jenkins was all over the show today! He started to attack the Masked Man from behind, but then Ryan Dustin ran back down to the ring and chased him out into the crowd. After all that confusion was over with, Maddix helped Masked Man back to the locker room. - I just want to repeat, for the record, that Suicide King is an unmitigated bastard; Mark shouldn’t have to be fighting against wrestlers of Toxxic’s caliber only three weeks into his return; he should get a few good warm-up matches in, like Martin Hunt, or somebody. Still, I thought he had the match won when he hit that Triple Play; hell, we ALL did! Biggest Pops 1) Mark Stevens 2) Johnny Dangerous 3) The Masked Man 4) Judge Mental 5) Andrea Montgomery Most Heat 1) Toxxic 2) Suicide King 3) Ace Lezaire 4) Spike Jenkins 5) John Duran

I thought something looked out of sorts...

Uhh, King? Are you sure that TNT wasn't talking about the Violent Femmes concert?