Mr. S£im Citrus

SWF Smarkdown HOLT report August 16, 2004 Phoenix, Arizona at America West Arena Report by Jim Crupi of Phoenix, AZ, Smartmarks.com reader - When I first got to the arena, it looked like I’d stepped into a time warp. But, more on that later… Dark Matches: - Ebony beat local indie wrestler The Black Manta by submission in 5:29 with the Loving Embrace. - Viktor Tarakanov beat local indie wrestler Jorge Gonzales (no, not that Jorge Gonzales) by disqualification in 4:04 when Syndicate ran into the ring as Tarakanov was going for the Bolshevik Revolution. The two fought all the way to the back. - Natasha (with Chris Card) beat Jet (with Spike Jenkins) in 1:55. Chris Card tripped Jet as she was going to the ropes, allowing Natasha to hit a big legdrop, and then held her leg down from outside the ring to keep her from kicking out. - After the Divas match, SWF Commissioner Alex Zenon came down to the ring and announced that they had been given the opportunity to have an SWF show aired in syndication. He said that they would be taping the pilot for the syndicated show here tonight (which got a huge pop), and that if the show did well in the ratings, then it would be picked up for the fall season and be broadcast weekends in syndication starting after G5. The show, he said, would be named Wrath, after the former SJL show. At least that explained why the stage looked like the old Wrath set… Wrath taping: - Munich pinned “The Paladin” Chance Silver in 2:36 with the C-4 Crunch. Munich came down to the ring holding a belt over his shoulder, which appeared to be made out of wood; I later learned that it was the defunct IGNJL Eastern United States Title, which Munich has apparently convinced Zenon to allow him to bring back for an angle. - Alan Clark pinned Austin Sly in 5:17 with the Wild Bomb, after some botched interference by NTD. Afterwards, there appeared to be some friction between Sly and NTD. - “Notorious” John Duran beat Martin “Big Country” Hunt in 6:09 with the Blunt Force Trauma. Afterwards, he got on the microphone, talking about how he’s a former World Heavyweight Champion, and that it’s BS that he’s been reduced to wrestling on this second-rate show (boos) while rookies like Birdman got title shots. He said something about wanting to get his hands on Birdman and initiating him properly into the SWF with a little Blunt Force Trauma. - There was a sweet video vignette on the SmarkTron which hinted at the possible return of Perfect Bo. That got a pretty good reaction from the old-school fans. - “The Icon” Max King (with Kelly Connelly) beat Petey the Irish Penguin at 8:46 with the King Buster. - Revolution Zero (SWF World Heavyweight Champion Toxxic & Spike Jenkins w/Jet) beat Déjà Vu in 11:21 when Toxxic beat Kross with the Caffeine Bomb. A very solid show, overall. It looked like they really went all-out for the return of Wrath. Smarkdown: - It was nice to see Ryan Dustin back in the ring for a change. The word going around the IWC is that Zed gave him an ultimatum to get clean or get out. It’d be a shame if he got fired, because the guy has a ton of potential. - After beating Okimurra, Drazon made his way towards Frisco, demanding that he pay up on his $5000 challenge, but Lobo snuck up behind him, attacking him long enough for Frisco and Okimurra to escape to the back. Lobo ended up taking one for the team, though, as Drazon got him on his back and trapped him in the Hiza juji-gatame until the refs came down to break it up. - I’m a mark for Everheart, so I was happy to see him win some gold in the WF, but I couldn’t help but feel bad for Manson; he’d probably still be the champion if it weren’t for Max King. - Nice to see Johnny get back on track, especially with a win over the likes of Dace F’N Night! I only hope that this loss doesn’t set Dace back too much. - After the Submissions match, the Countdown to Genesis giveaway was hosted by (SWF Legend). I won an autographed picture of Alison Onita, but some guy down at ringside won the grand prize. Biggest Pops 1) Johnny Dangerous 2) “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens 3) Dace Night 4) Vladimir Everheart 5) Team Flip Flop Most Heat 1) Revolution Zero 2) Mike Van Siclen 3) Landon Maddix 4) Tom Flesher 5) Max King

Isn't what you asked me to write?

SWF: Revolution? What the hell is this? It doesn't look like one of ours...

Bo's coming back? Damn, there goes my hopes of stealing the Wild Out as a submission finisher...

Huh? Oh hell no! I'm a surface sailor, young lady, not a bubblehead; I'm stationed on an aircraft carrier, not a submarine! Fuck that shit... I'm not sharing my rack with another dude... In fact, I'm on the boat right now; I happen to have duty today...

....

Unfortunately, as I remember correctly, this is usually around the time where most of our younger writers (and, in this case, by younger, I pretty much mean anybody under 22) are getting ready to go back to school and/or college, and have less and less time to commit to the fed. I'm fairly sure I read a couple of weeks ago that Dace is leaving after Genesis for college, and Janus has taken an indefinite leave of absense as well. Who knows how many other top writers are going to have to go into retirement and/or take on a reduced schedule after the school year starts. There's a very real threat of there being a major dilution of the upper midcard/main event, and while we've always had people who have been able to step into those voids, it also presents the possibility that people will be elevated into those positions before they're ready for them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, while I like the thought behind what Toxxic wants to do, it'll be tough to compare the title reign favorably against one like Tom's or Edwin's if he's getting most of his defenses against wrestlers who don't necessarily belong in the main event, so to speak. - Dub "or maybe he just wants to pad his stats against the midcard" Cee

This. Means. WAR!

Most pop culture these days is effluent. I wouldn't get too worried about it. On a similar note though, in all my time out at rock clubs (and that's a good five years' worth now) I've only seen about a dozen total non-white people. Asian, oriental, black, whatever. Yet go to a hip-hop club and EVERYONE'S into it. Bizarre, considering it sucks. :: shrugs :: I guess that's why they say that one man's ceiling is another man's floor. I happen to think that hip-hop does not, in fact, suck, whereas I could only see myself listening to more than five minutes of punk rock and/or death metal if I were being held at gunpoint.

Cool. You learn something new everyday... but, how many does that make? Hell, I know a brother who likes country music, chews tobacco and wears a cowboy hat... but that still only makes one... And, not for nothing, but I think it bears pointing out that you said "early twenties" rather than "late twenties." While punk probably has been around as long as I have (or close enough not to quibble over), goth either hasn't, or wasn't even a blip on the radar when I was a teenager. I'd wager that hardly anyone living in the Chicago area in the mid-to-late eighties had heard of goth, at least not to the degree to which failing to identify the difference between it and punk would create a stir on any level. Of course, I'm not very affluent on pop culture nowadays, and while the differences between goth and punk may be fairly obvious to someone who interacts with it more regularly, it's probably beyond my ken... - Dub "hell, all y'all look alike, anyway" Cee

I completely agree there. I understand that JBL/Taker wasn't the best choice for a WWE title match, and I also agree that JBL isn't the best WWE champ to come down the pike. But c'mon - can't you find something better to do than the fucking wave? Like them or not, JBL and Taker actually tried to have a good, solid match, and the fans had every intention of shitting on it well before they even got to the arena tonight. The fans hated the idea of the feud. They hated the idea of two pieces of garbage wrestling each other on the third biggest ppv of the year, and were letting WWE know it. That is how a crowd that knows wrestling should react. I do not care if guys work hard to entertain me, I want guys with actual talent to be in the main events. At the risk of taking this thread off-track, when did Summerslam get demoted to the "third-biggest" PPV of the year? I've gotten the impression that the WWE has seen 'Slam as their #2 PPV behind 'Mania since forever (or at least since '90 or so).

No sweat, Show; I didn't take it as "hating" anyway, but thanks for having my back. Now, on the other hand, if Toxxic is really bent out of shape because a black guy in his late twenties doesn't know the difference between punk and Goth, then... :: snickers :: - Dub Cee

What's that? Toxxic's next title defense will be against Flesher at Wembley, you say? Huh? And King will be at ringside, you say? - Dub "Wha? Huh? I didn't say screwjob! Err, uhm... BACON SANDWICH!" Cee

.... :: shrug :: - Dub "You say po-TAY-toe..." Cee

Eh, Mark strikes me as a stand-up kind of guy; I wouldn't worry... Late night for him, though; hopes he clears it with his chain of command to stay up past taps...

The "Yeah, I know I skipped Storm; wanna make something out of it?" edition! ==================== SWF Lockdown HOLT report August 11, 2004 Salt Lake City, Utah at Delta Center Report by Gideon Sworden of Dammeron Valley, UT, Smartmarks.com reader - I won! Kick ass! But, more on that later… Dark Matches: - Alan Clark and Petey the Irish Penguin beat Déjà Vu at 6:24 after Petey hit Kross with Penguin Pandemonium. - Ebony beat Lobo by submission in a No-DQ match in 7:01 by trapping Lobo’s testicles in a pair of vice grips. Candace and Frisco were barred from ringside. - “The Paladin” Chance Silver beat Ryan Dustin by forfeit when Dustin failed to show. Some of the guys sitting next to me said that Dustin has no-showed his last few house show bookings as well, and the word going around the IWC is that he may be dealing with a drinking problem. - USJL Champion Manson beat Michael Craven at 10:46 with the Consequences in a non-title match. - “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens beat Stryke in 8:22 with the Walk Off. Mark looked like he’s still trying to work himself back into ring shape, but it was an impressive win, even if it was against Stryke. Crowd was behind GS big time! Lockdown: - Judge scolded Bowers all the way back to the locker room; I don’t think I’ve ever seen a manager so unhappy about getting his first win. - Mike Van Siclen and the Masked Man continued to yell at each other after the show went to break, both of them blaming the other for Cortez getting pinned. They got into another shoving match, nearly coming to blows before Cortez came to. Todd read both of them the riot act and then walked up the ramp by himself, leaving Maskosaurus and Van Siclen standing in the ring like a couple of dopes. - There was a brief intermission after the Hardcore Contender’s match. Mak Francis hosted the ‘Countdown to Genesis’ giveaway, and I won! WHOO! Of course, I was a little let down when I found out that winning contest only entered me into a drawing to win the G5 tickets, that will take place on the last Smarkdown before the PPV. I did get some nice swag, though, including an autographed Megan Skye poster. W00t! - By the way… that “We Want Ken” chant that you heard during the Street Fighter tag match? I started that… - Loved the Cruiserweight match; not too crazy about Flesher… I’ll tell you one thing, though: for someone who doesn’t seem to care that much about the Cruiserweight Title, he sure puts in a lot of work to hold on to it… - I’d like to go on record right now as saying that I could happily go the rest of my life without ever having to see Landon Maddix’s bare ass again! I’m sure that Riley was happy to get the free show, though… As far as the match goes, another solid performance by these two, although you have to wonder how many more high-profile losses Johnny can take before Zed sends him back down to the midcard. I hope he gets back on track soon… - Two things: first, Toxxic’s a punk. Secondly, DACE GOT JOBBED! Hall was TOTALLY late on the count after that Dangerous German! If I were Dace, I’d petition to have that guy fined and suspended! I dunno, I guess I just hate Toxxic… frikkin’ Goth poser… I can’t wait until he gets his comeuppance! Biggest Pops 1) Dace Night 2) “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens 3) Johnny Dangerous 4) Vladimir Everheart 5) Andrea Montgomery and Blanka Most Heat 1) Toxxic 2) Landon Maddix 3) Tom Flesher 4) Revolution Zero 5) Ace Lezaire

See? This is neat because it's funny, and it mocks me at the same time... and I'll forgive anything for smart and funny... (Y) - Dub "I also love a good mockery" Cee

:: no-sells Spike :: Who says there has to be a point? I must have missed the part of the FAQ which says that threads posted in the Community/General forum had to have some kind of unifying topic... The thread is basically just me thinking "out loud," so to speak. - Dub "or are you just bent out of shape because I didn't put 'put Spike Jenkins over' on my to-do list" Cee

How so?

Aye; he'll be starting the second grade at the end of this month.

My favorite Sportscenter Anchors are Dana Jacobsen and... uhm...

No pub for Ground Zero?

:: checks Dustin's weight class :: Sorry, boss; wouldn't be prudent...

Oh, I wasn't accusing anyone of impropriety, Drea; I was just curious about whether or not it had been done before. I suppose that I pay more attention to stuff like that than I did before I got bumped. Apropos of nothing, excluding the guys who were called up after the JL closed down, is there anyone here who never got bumped from the JL?

.... Is there any kind of precedent for active writers being markers? Come to think of it, aren't Strangler and Mark currently back on the active roster right now?