kkktookmybabyaway

10 p.m. • Well, it's been a while since I've posted anything. Oh well. Let's see, what should I talk about? How about commercials. You know what ads I routinely can't stand? Those Enterprise commercials -- especially this one: ... Aww, fuck. I can't find the video on YouTube. It's the one with the chick asking some guy what type of lingerie she should wear: the red or the black. The guy says "both." Then the Enterprise people pick them up and they drive a rented vehicle to some hotel, and then the creepy voice-over guy says, "romantic weekends." Man I hate Enterprise commercials. First off, every time I hear that guy say "both" at the start of the ad I get a flashback to my idiot ex-boss. No, I wasn't asking him what naughty night-ware I should put on. I was given this 6-month assignment whose monthly deadlines fell at the same time as the job I was hired to actually do (not to mention other increasing duties that made my job impossible to do). When I asked my enlightened powers-that-be what should be dealt with first I got the typical "no answer" and they tried to go on to another subject. I interjected. Several times. Finally, the idiot says "both." I then questioned his leadership skills and noted that I was going to report his lack of management skills to our board (aka the "rubber stamp" brigade). Fun times ensued. Nothing was going to become of any of this dick-waving, but it's always fun to be an asshole. Dick-waving. Asshole. Maybe I shouldn't have typed anything tonight. Now that I have bitched about a series of ads I hate, let me go back to a series of ads I like. I know some of you hate those Free Credit Report.com ads. Well too bad. I like them. Now it's time for me to whip out the ol' ranking scale. Number 6: Not bad, but not as good as the other five in my opinion. I'd rather have this on during commercial breaks than most of the other crap out there. Song is a bit blah and there's no noteworthy image. I will say this: I hated that asshole friend who, like the person at 0:11, decides to mess around with the windshield wipers while you're driving. And there's nothing wrong with beat-up rides -- hasn't he heard of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "My Hooptie"? Number 5: I like the old lady re-appearing from other, older ads at (0:19) and the pirate hat reference. However, I don't get the whole Renaissance Fair thing. God only knows where that guy is taking the poor goat. Number 4: Bitches be trippin'. And what's she all pissed off about? It was HER credit that fucked them over. Oh, and if you married your "dream girl," then there's that thing during the wedding that says, "for better or for worse." Oh, and how about saving up and making a down payment? You two are white, I'm sure there would be a bunch of Jew bankers lining up around your in-law's basement door to take your money. Number 3: If you're going to get jiggy with it, you need a better beat. The synthesizer-voice thing does not fit well either. The white guy's facial expression at 0:21 seals the deal for me. Number 2: But I don't wanna be a Pirate! Every time I see that old lady make that facial expression at 0:19 I get reminded of all the time I had that look given to me, whether I was a little bastard in church as a kid or starting verbal confrontations with people at polling places during election day. Yee-hah. Number 1: That's right, I'm going Commie GREEN! Why do I like this ad over the other five? Several reasons: 1) The music is different than three of the previous ads. Nice change of pace. 2) It's a continuation of the previous ad with the compact car. 3) The old lady is back (0:06)! And I have also received a number of those disgusted looks during my life, too. I didn't catch this, but apparently the black guy at the start of this ad is also in the "rapper" video. (He's the one taking back his keys.) There's also a shot of pirate hats in several of these ads. Cute. Christ, I don't post for a week and THIS is what I come up with? Might as well go out on a high note...

Deadline for the Thursday night game has come and gone.

1) If anyone is interested in taking a team, PM me. 2) It's that time of the year again when I start accepting new rule changes for next year. PM me your suggestions and I will put them up to a vote. If more people vote yes than no for your rule change, it will take effect next season. When issuing a rule change I will not say who made the suggestions. I'll accept rule change proposals for the next few weeks before putting them up to a vote. Cincinnati at Pittsburgh (10.5) 10-27 Carolina at Atlanta (1.5) 28-45 Philadelphia at Baltimore (1.5) 7-36 Houston at Cleveland (3.5) 16-6 San Francisco at Dallas (10.5) 22-35 (8.5) Tampa Bay at Detroit 38-20 Minnesota at Jacksonville (2.5) 30-12 (3.5) Buffalo at Kansas City 54-31 New England at Miami (1.5) 48-28 (8.5) Chicago at St. Louis 27-3 N.Y. Jets at Tennessee (5.5) 34-13 Oakland at Denver (9.5) 31-10 (3.5) N.Y. Giants at Arizona 37-29 (3.5) Washington at Seattle 20-17 Indianapolis at San Diego (2.5) 23-20 Green Bay at New Orleans (2.5) 29-51 Key: PIT/ATL/BAL/HOU/DAL/TB/MIN/BUF/NE/CHI/NYJ/OAK/NYG/SEA/IND/NO Cincinnati Bengals (Teke 2-8-1) tie Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus 6-4-1) 9-9 CIN: PIT/CAR/BAL/CLE/DAL/TB/JAX/BUF/MIA/CHI/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/NO/14(-10=4) PIT: PIT/ATL/BAL/HOU/DAL/TB/JAX/BUF/MIA/CHI/TEN/DEN/AZ/WAS/IND/GB/31(-27=4) DIFF: CAR/ATL, CLE/HOU, NYG/AZ, NO/GB, 14/31 Carolina Panthers (Fazzle 7-4) d by Atlanta Falcons (USC 8-3) 8-9 CAR: PIT/CAR/BAL/HOU/SF/TB/JAX/KC/NE/CHI/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/XX ATL: PIT/ATL/BAL/HOU/DAL/DET/JAX/KC/NE/CHI/TEN/OAK/NYG/WAS/SD/GB/24 DIFF: CAR/ATL, SF/DAL, TB/DET, DEN/OAK, IND/SD Philadelphia Eagles (Starvenger 9-2) d Baltimore Ravens (KingPK 6-4-1) 10-9 PHI: PIT/ATL/BAL/HOU/SF/DET/MIN/KC/NE/CHI/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/NO/17 BAL: PIT/CAR/BAL/HOU/DAL/TB/JAX/BUF/NE/CHI/TEN/DEN/AZ/WAS/IND/GB/28 DIFF: ATL/CAR, SF/DAL, DET/TB, MIN/JAX, KC/BUF, NYG/AZ, NO/GB Houston Texans (Bored 6-5) d by Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack 5-6) 5-9 HOU: PIT/CAR/PHI/CLE/SF/TB/MIN/KC/MIA/CHI/TEN/DEN/AZ/WAS/IND/GB/23 CLE: PIT/ATL/BAL/HOU/DAL/DET/JAX/BUF/MIA/CHI/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/27 DIFF: CAR/ATL, PHI/BAL, CLE/HOU, SF/DAL, TB/DET, MIN/JAX, KC/BUF, AZ/NYG, 23/27 San Francisco 49ers (Devo 8-3) d Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 7-4) 9-7 SF: CIN/ATL/PHI/HOU/DAL/TB/JAX/KC/NE/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/17 DAL: CIN/CAR/PHI/CLE/DAL/TB/JAX/BUF/MIA/CHI/TEN/DEN/AZ/SEA/IND/NO/28 DIFF: ATL/CAR, HOU/CLE, KC/BUF, NE/MIA, NYJ/TEN, NYG/AZ, WAS/SEA, GB/NO, 17/28 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Agent Bond 4-7) d by Detroit Lions (Chazz 3-8) 6-10 TB: PIT/CAR/BAL/CLE/SF/TB/JAX/BUF/MIA/CHI/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/SD/GB/28 DET: PIT/CAR/BAL/HOU/DAL/DET/MIN/KC/NE/STL/TEN/OAK/NYG/WAS/IND/NO/10 DIFF: CLE/HOU, SF/DAL, TB/DET, JAX/MIN, BUF/KC, MIA/NE, CHI/STL, DEN/OAK, SD/IND, GB/NO, 28/10 Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling 9-2) d Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off 6-5) 10-8 MIN: PIT/CAR/PHI/HOU/SF/TB/MIN/BUF/NE/CHI/TEN/OAK/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/22 JAX: PIT/CAR/BAL/CLE/DAL/TB/JAX/BUF/MIA/CHI/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/17 DIFF: PHI/BAL, HOU/CLE, SF/DAL, MIN/JAX, NE/MIA, OAK/DEN, 22/17 Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron 4-7) d Kansas City Chiefs (BX 6-5) 12-8 BUF: PIT/CAR/BAL/CLE/DAL/TB/JAX/BUF/NE/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NYG/SEA/IND/NO/17 KC: CIN/CAR/BAL/CLE/SF/TB/JAX/BUF/NE/STL/NYJ/OAK/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/3 DIFF: PIT/CIN, DAL/SF, CHI/STL, DEN/OAK, SEA/WAS, NO/GB, 17/3 New England Patriots (Harley Quinn 7-4) d by Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff 4-7) 11-11 + TB NE: PIT/CAR/BAL/HOU/SF/TB/MIN/BUF/MIA/CHI/NYJ/OAK/NYG/WAS/SD/NO/21(-48=27) MIA: PIT/ATL/BAL/CLE/SF/TB/MIN/BUF/NE/CHI/NYJ/DEN/AZ/WAS/IND/NO/24(-28=4) DIFF: CAR/ATL, HOU/CLE, MIA/NE, OAK/DEN, NYG/AZ, SD/IND, 21/24 Chicago Bears (Tzar Lysergic 2-9) d by St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist 4-7) 8-9 CHI: CIN/ATL/BAL/HOU/DAL/DET/JAX/KC/MIA/CHI/TEN/DEN/AZ/SEA/IND/NO/EP STL: PIT/CAR/BAL/CLE/DAL/TB/MIN/BUF/MIA/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NYG/WAS/SD/GB/16 DIFF: CIN/PIT, ATL/CAR, HOU/CLE, DET/TB, JAX/MIN, KC/BUF, TEN/NYJ, AZ/NYG, SEA/WAS, IND/SD, NO/GB N.Y. Jets (Gert T 6-5) d Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx 2-8-1) 9-7 NYJ: PIT/CAR/BAL/CLE/DAL/TB/JAX/BUF/MIA/CHI/TEN/OAK/NYG/WAS/SD/NO/17 TEN: PIT/ATL/BAL/CLE/DAL/DET/MIN/KC/MIA/STL/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/21 DIFF: CAR/ATL, TB/DET, JAX/MIN, BUF/KC, CHI/STL, OAK/DEN, SD/IND, NO/GB, 17/21 Oakland Raiders (Smues 3-8) d Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris 6-5) 10-6 OAK: CIN/ATL/BAL/CLE/DAL/TB/JAX/BUF/NE/CHI/TEN/OAK/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/19 DEN: PIT/CAR/BAL/CLE/SF/DET/MIN/KC/MIA/CHI/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/30 DIFF: CIN/PIT, ATL/CAR, DAL/SF, TB/DET, JAX/MIN, BUF/KC, NE/MIA, OAK/DEN, 19/30 N.Y. Giants (Cartman 5-6) d Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne 4-7) 10-9 NYG: PIT/ATL/BAL/HOU/DAL/TB/MIN/KC/NE/CHI/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/SD/GB/24 AZ: CIN/CAR/BAL/CLE/DAL/TB/JAX/BUF/NE/CHI/TEN/DEN/NYG/SEA/IND/GB/16 DIFF: PIT/CIN, ATL/CAR, HOU/CLE, MIN/JAX, KC/BUF, WAS/SEA, SD/IND Washington Redskins (Human Fly 7-4) d Seattle Seahawks (UZI 6-5) 9-9 + TB WAS: PIT/CAR/PHI/HOU/DAL/TB/MIN/KC/NE/CHI/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/19(-20=1) SEA: PIT/CAR/BAL/CLE/DAL/TB/MIN/BUF/MIA/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NYG/WAS/SD/GB/14(-17=3) DIFF: PHI/BAL, HOU/CLE, KC/BUF, NE/MIA, TEN/NYJ, IND/SD, 19/14 Indianapolis Colts (Alfdogg 5-6) d by San Diego Chargers (909 6-5) 5-8 IND: PIT/CAR/BAL/CLE/SF/DET/JAX/BUF/MIA/STL/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/34 SD: PIT/ATL/PHI/CLE/DAL/TB/MIN/BUF/MIA/CHI/TEN/DEN/AZ/WAS/SD/NO/27 DIFF: CAR/ATL, BAL/PHI, SF/DAL, DET/TB, JAX/MIN, STL/CHI, NYG/AZ, IND/SD, GB/NO Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X 6-5) d by New Orleans Saints (Brooklyn Zoo 5-6) 6-7 GB: CIN/CAR/BAL/CLE/DAL/DET/MIN/KC/NE/STL/TEN/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/GB/28 NO: XXX/CAR/PHI/CLE/DAL/DET/JAX/BUF/MIA/CHI/NYJ/DEN/NYG/WAS/IND/NO/28 DIFF: BAL/PHI, MIN/JAX, KC/BUF, NE/MIA, STL/CHI, TEN/NYJ, GB/NO

On a totally unrelated note, if there is anyone out there interested in taking a team, PM me.

Deadline has come and gone: BX and Teke are using EPs.

AFC EAST New England Patriots (Harley Quinn) 6-3 < PF: 77, PA: 57, AFC: 4-3, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 2-1 > New York Jets (Gert) 5-4 < PF: 68, PA: 65, AFC: 4-3, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 2-1 > Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 3-6 < PF: 72, PA: 76, AFC: 3-4, NFC: 0-2, DIV: 1-2 > Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 3-6 < PF: 56, PA: 66, AFC: 1-4, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-2 > AFC NORTH Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 5-3-1 < PF: 68, PA: 64, AFC: 5-3-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 2-2 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 5-4 < PF: 61, PA: 65, AFC: 3-3, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 2-1 > Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 3-6 < PF: 64, PA: 66, AFC: 3-3, NFC: 0-3, DIV: 3-1 > Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 2-7 < PF: 65, PA: 73, AFC: 2-5, NFC: 0-2, DIV: 0-3 > AFC SOUTH Houston Texans (Bored) 5-4 < PF: 67, PA: 67, AFC: 4-3, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 3-0 > Indianapolis Colts (Alfdogg) 5-4 < PF: 63, PA: 68, AFC: 4-2, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 2-1 > Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 5-4 < PF: 63, PA: 64, AFC: 4-4, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-3 > Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 2-6-1 < PF: 69, PA: 70, AFC: 1-4-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-2 > AFC WEST Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 6-3 < PF: 66, PA: 56, AFC: 5-2, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 3-0 > Kansas City Chiefs (BX) 6-3 < PF: 72, PA: 63, AFC: 4-2, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 2-1 > San Diego Chargers (909) 5-4 < PF: 59, PA: 63, AFC: 4-3, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-2 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 1-8 < PF: 60, PA: 72, AFC: 1-5, NFC: 0-3, DIV: 0-3 > NFC EAST Philadelphia Eagles (Starvenger) 7-2 < PF: 64, PA: 54, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 6-2, DIV: 2-1 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 6-3 < PF: 63, PA: 54, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 5-2, DIV: 2-1 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk) 6-3 < PF: 66, PA: 63, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 4-3, DIV: 0-3 > New York Giants (Cartman) 4-5 < PF: 58, PA: 67, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 2-4, DIV: 2-1 > NFC NORTH Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 7-2 < PF: 73, PA: 57, AFC: 3-0, NFC: 4-2, DIV: 3-1 > Green Bay Packers (VX) 5-4 < PF: 66, PA: 66, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 4-3, DIV: 2-1 > Detroit Lions (Chazz) 2-7 < PF: 56, PA: 65, AFC: 0-2, NFC: 2-5, DIV: 2-2 > Chicago Bears (Tzar Lysergic) 2-7 < PF: 59, PA: 74, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-6, DIV: 0-3 > NFC SOUTH Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 6-3 < PF: 60, PA: 68, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 4-2, DIV: 3-0 > Atlanta Falcons (USC) 6-3 < PF: 74, PA: 59, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 4-3, DIV: 2-1 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Agent Bond) 4-5 < PF: 64, PA: 61, AFC: 0-2, NFC: 4-3, DIV: 1-2 > New Orleans Saints (Brooklyn Zoo) 3-6 < PF: 62, PA: 71, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 1-5, DIV: 0-3 > NFC WEST San Francisco 49ers (Devo) 7-2 < PF: 67, PA: 61, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 7-1, DIV: 3-1 > Seattle Seahawks (UZI) 5-4 < PF: 68, PA: 62, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 3-4, DIV: 2-1 > Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 4-5 < PF: 65, PA: 69, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 2-4, DIV: 1-2 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 2-7 < PF: 57, PA: 68, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 1-5, DIV: 0-2 >

8:30 p.m. • Don't you know that placing bumper stickers on your care is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male? Gee, I wonder who were making the complaints? These are the MARINES~! Now I know we're in trouble. Thanks a lot, Terrorist-Elect Hussein Osama.

8:30 p.m. • So for the last few days the better half has been bitching because we have been getting calls from Countrywide -- the place which has our mortgage. They call mostly during the day and she doesn't bother to answer the phone. Finally they called when I was home; about 30 minutes ago while posting picks for this week's kkk Bowl VI contest. I don't think they'll be calling again. No, I didn't wish cancer on the telemarketer, but I did make her laugh. Here's how the conversation went. *ring ring* "Hello?" "Is this Mr. kkk or the better half?" "Yes." "This is so-and-so from Countrywide. Thank you for your business blah blah blah." "OK." "I'd like to make you aware of blah blah blah it will only take a minute to get a quote blah blah blah." "Please don't take this the wrong way because it's not aimed at you. I am perfectly happy with the mortgage I have at my fixed rate. And I know whatever special offer you have for me will probably screw me over at some point. If Countrywide is happy with me making my monthly payment on time for the past four years I will be more than happy to continue making my payment with a little something extra each month..." I was about to go into the housing CRISIZ and make some remark about giving loans to minorities, but I really wanted to get my kkk Bowl picks done. Besides, this phone conversation was recorded, and if I should ever make the news I can imagine that phone chat getting out to the media. Then again, all a reporter needs to do is discover TSM and I'd really be in trouble.

Deadline has come and gone. Teke and BX miss out on Thursday's game.

The worst for me was driving a few minutes away from home and then remembering. Although there was that one time it almost got flushed down a toilet.

If you want to move to another house that's fine. I just wouldn't move to improve the work commute. You'll get fired from your job and be given a job offer near the place you just moved from. Damn Bush Economy.

And you would be willing to sell it over a work commute?

9 p.m. • Well that's nice. Don't pay your mortgage, get a reduction in principal. Shit, this is even better. If you haven't paid off even 10 percent of your home's current value YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE BOUGHT A FUCKING HOUSE TO BEGIN WITH! Go live in a dumpster. • Every October the better half has an annual ritual that she does. She buys a pumpkin for each cat we have and takes a picture with them. Is this nuts? Yes. Whatever. We could be sacrificing goats or something. Other people do much worse. However, there is one bright spot to this story -- JJ is terrified of pumpkins. Yes, he runs away from these orange ovals whenever one is within viewing distance. You can set these things up along the floor and you could make JJ go in any direction you desire. Don't believe me? Here you go.

Thursday N.Y. Jets at New England (3.5) 34-31 Sunday And Beyond Denver at Atlanta (6.5) 24-20 Detroit at Carolina (14.5) 22-31 (9.5) Philadelphia at Cincinnati 13-13 Chicago at Green Bay (4.5) 3-37 Houston at Indianapolis (8.5) 27-33 (3.5) Tennessee at Jacksonville 24-14 (5.5) New Orleans at Kansas City 30-20 Oakland at Miami (10.5) 15-17 Baltimore at N.Y. Giants (6.5) 10-30 Minnesota at Tampa Bay (4.5) 13-19 St. Louis at San Francisco (6.5) 16-35 (3.5) Arizona at Seattle 26-20 San Diego at Pittsburgh (4.5) 10-11 (1.5) Dallas at Washington 14-10 Cleveland at Buffalo (5.5) Key: NYJ/DEN/DET/CIN/GB/HOU/TEN/NO/OAK/NYG/TB/SF/AZ/SD/DAL/ N.Y. Jets (Gert T 5-5) d by New England Patriots (Harley Quinn 7-3) 7-7 NYJ: NE/DEN/CAR/PHI/CHI/IND/TEN/NO/MIA/NYG/TB/SF/AZ/PIT/WAS/BUF/13(-34=21) NE: NYJ/ATL/DET/PHI/CHI/HOU/TEN/NO/MIA/BAL/MIN/SF/AZ/PIT/WAS/BUF/20(-31=11) DIFF: NE/NYJ, DEN/ATL, CAR/DET, IND/HOU, NYG/BAL, TB/MIN, 13/20 Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris 6-4) d by Atlanta Falcons (USC 7-3) 5-8 DEN: NE/ATL/CAR/PHI/CHI/IND/TEN/NO/MIA/NYG/TB/STL/AZ/PIT/WAS/BUF20 ATL: NE/ATL/CAR/PHI/CHI/IND/TEN/NO/OAK/NYG/MIN/SF/AZ/SD/WAS/CLE/34 DIFF: MIA/OAK, TB/MIN, STL/SF, PIT/SD, BUF/CLE Detroit Lions (Chazz 2-8) d by Carolina Panthers (Fazzle 7-3) 8-8 DET: NE/DEN/DET/PHI/CHI/HOU/TEN/NO/MIA/NYG/MIN/STL/AZ/PIT/WAS/CLE/17(-22=5) CAR: NE/DEN/DET/PHI/CHI/IND/TEN/KC/MIA/NYG/TB/SF/AZ/PIT/WAS/CLE/27(-31=4) DIFF: HOU/IND, NO/KC, MIN/TB, STL/SF, 17/27 Philadelphia Eagles (Starvenger 8-2) d Cincinnati Bengals (Teke 2-8) 8-6 PHI: NE/ATL/DET/PHI/GB/HOU/TEN/NO/MIA/BAL/TB/STL/AZ/PIT/WAS/CLE/28 CIN: X/ATL/DET/CIN/CHI/IND/TEN/NO/MIA/BAL/MIN/STL/AZ/PIT/WAS/CLE/EP DIFF: PHI/CIN, GB/CHI, HOU/IND, TB/MIN, 28/EP Chicago Bears (Tzar Lysergic 2-8) d by Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X 6-4) 5-5 CHI: NYJ/ATL/CAR/PHI/CHI/HOU/TEN/KC/OAK/BAL/MINI/SF/SEA/PIT/WAS/BUF/27(-3=24) GB: NE/ATL/CAR/PHI/GB/HOU/TEN/KC/OAK/BAL/MINI/SF/SEA/PIT/WAS/BUF/24(-37=13) DIFF: NYJ/NE, CHI/GB, 27/24 Houston Texans (Bored 6-4) d Indianapolis Colts (Alfdogg 5-5) 8-6 HOU: NYJ/ATL/CAR/PHI/GB/IND/TEN/NO/MIA/BAL/TB/SF/AZ/PIT/WAS/CLE/22 IND: NE/ATL/CAR/CIN/CHI/IND/JAX/KC/MIA/NYG/TB/SF/AZ/PIT/WAS/CLE/30 DIFF: NYJ/NE, PHI/CIN, GB/CHI, TEN/JAX, NO/KC, BAL/NYG, 22/30 Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx 2-7-1) d by Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off 6-4) 7-7 TEN: NE/ATL/CAR/PHI/GB/IND/TEN/KC/MIA/NYG/TB/SF/ARI/PIT/DAL/BUF/21(-24=3) JAX: NE/DEN/CAR/PHI/CHI/IND/JAX/NO/MIA/NYG/TB/SF/AZ/PIT/DAL/BUF/14(-14=0) DIFF: ATL/DEN, GB/CHI, TEN/JAX, KC/NO, 21/14 New Orleans Saints (Brooklyn Zoo 4-6) d Kansas City Chiefs (BX 6-4) 9-7 NO: NYJ/ATL/DET/PHI/GB/IND/JAX/NO/MIA/NYG/MIN/SF/AZ/SD/DAL/BUF/30 KC: XX/ATL/DET/CIN/GB/IND/JAX/KC/OAK/NYG/TB/SF/SEA/PIT/WAS/BUF/EP DIFF: NYJ/XX, PHI/CIN, NO/KC, MIA/OAK, MIN/TB, AZ/SEA, SD/PIT, DAL/WAS, 30/EP Oakland Raiders (Smues 2-8) d Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff 3-7) 11-10 OAK: NE/DEN/DET/CIN/GB/IND/JAX/NO/OAK/NYG/MIN/SF/AZ/SD/DAL/BUF/16 MIA: NYJ/ATL/DET/PHI/GB/IND/TEN/NO/OAK/BAL/TB/SF/AZ/PIT/DAL/BUF/27 DIFF: NE/NYJ, DEN/ATL, CIN/PHI, JAX/TEN, NYG/BAL, MIN/TB, SD/PIT Baltimore Ravens (KingPK 6-3-1) d N.Y. Giants (Cartman 4-6) 9-7 BAL: NYJ/ATL/DET/PHI/CHI/IND/TEN/NO/OAK/NYG/TB/STL/AZ/PIT/DAL/BUF/24 NYG: NE/DEN/CAR/PHI/GB/IND/TEN/NO/MIA/BAL/TB/STL/AZ/PIT/DAL/BUF/23 DIFF: NYJ/NE, ATL/DEN, DET/CAR, CHI/GB, OAK/MIA, NYG/BAL, 24/23 Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling 8-2) d Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Agent Bond 4-6) 8-5 MIN: NE/DEN/DET/XX/CHI/HOU/TEN/NO/OAK/NYG/MIN/STL/AZ/PIT/WAS/BUF/23 TB: NE/ATL/CAR/PHI/CHI/IND/TEN/KC/MIA/NYG/TB/SF/ARI/PIT/WAS/BUF/17 DIFF: DEN/ATL, DET/CAR, XX/PHI, HOU/IND, NO/KC, OAK/MIA, MIN/TB, STL/SF, 12/17 St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist 3-8) d San Francisco 49ers (Devo 7-3) 7-7 STL: NE/DEN/CAR/PHI/CHI/IND/TEN/KC/MIA/NYG/MIN/SF/ARI/SD/DAL/BUF/19(-16=4) SF: NYJ/ATL/DET/PHI/GB/IND/TEN/KC/MIA/NYG/TB/STL/ARI/PIT/WAS/BUF/17(-35=18) DIFF: NE/NYJ, DEN/ATL, CAR/DET, CHI/GB, MIN/TB, SF/STL, SD/PIT, DAL/WAS, 19/17 Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne 4-6) d by Seattle Seahawks (UZI 6-4) 6-10 AZ: NE/DEN/CAR/CIN/CHI/IND/JAX/NO/MIA/BAL/TB/STL/AZ/SD/WAS/BUF/28 SEA: NYJ/DEN/CAR/PHI/GB/IND/TEN/NO/MIA/NYG/TB/STL/AZ/PIT/DAL/CLE/17 DIFF: NE/NYJ, CIN/PHI, CHI/GB, JAX/TEN, BAL/NYG, SD/PIT, WAS/DAL, BUF/CLE, 28/17 San Diego Chargers (909 5-5) d by Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus 6-4) 5-6 SD: NE/ATL/CAR/PHI/CHI/IND/TEN/NO/MIA/NYG/MIN/SF/AZ/PIT/WAS/BUF/16 PIT: NE/ATL/CAR/PHI/GB/IND/TEN/KC/MIA/NYG/TB/STL/AZ/PIT/DAL/BUF/21 DIFF: CHI/GB, NO/KC, MIN/TB, SF/STL, WAS/DAL Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 7-3) d Washington Redskins (Human Fly 6-4) 7-5 DAL: NE/ATL/DET/PHI/CHI/IND/TEN/KC/MIA/NYG/MIN/SF/AZ/PIT/DAL/CLE/26 WAS: NE/DEN/CAR/PHI/CHI/IND/TEN/KC/MIA/BAL/TB/STL/SEA/PIT/DAL/CLE/17 DIFF: ATL/DEN, DET/CAR, NYG/BAL, MIN/TB, SF/STL, AZ/SEA, 26/17 Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack 4-6) at Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron 3-7) 10-8 CLE: NE/ATL/DET/PHI/CHI/IND/TEN/NO/MIA/NYG/TB/SF/AZ/SD/DAL/CLE/21 BUF: NE/DEN/CAR/PHI/GB/IND/TEN/NO/MIA/NYG/TB/STL/AZ/PIT/DAL/BUF/17 DIFF: ATL/DEN, DET/CAR, CHI/GB, SF/STL, SD/PIT, CLE/BUF, 21/17

Didn't you build your house from scratch?

I haven't looked at results/standings yet. Go yell at Chris.

10 a.m. • So guess what was the Evening Daily Number for Illinois the day after Osama was elected? I'm not making this up. I'm pretty sure this happened in Pennsylvania after Fast Eddie got re-elected in '06. I'll have to search for this later. 7 p.m. • Oh hell no. You cunts had your chance when she was a running mate. Now you all can go fuck yourselves. The only exception to this is The View's Elizabeth Hassleback. Have a one-on-one with her on your show, but just keep the feminazi bitches out back. 10 p.m. • So there's this McDonald's that is somewhat near me and unless I'm REALLY craving something from that place I tend to stay away due to the pisspoor service. And by pisspoor service I mean waiting 20 minutes for food. However, I went in today with my fingers crossed. Wasn't that bad a wait for this store's standards, but the highlight of the trip came when I saw this box near the condiment stand. The box was for some food pantry, and the hand-written message said, "Donate a canned good and get a free DERSSERT coupon." Oh how sometimes I wish I had a camera phone.

Deadline has come and gone -- Brooklyn Zoo is using EPs.

11:a.m. • So four years ago when W. got re-elected a bunch of commie queers decided to take pictures of themselves with messages saying "I'm Sorry" to the rest of the world for who won the election. This of course brought on the other side with a bunch of "I'm Not Sorry" pictures and hilarity ensued. Why am I talking about this? Because here we go again: Oh, but wait, now we're all supposed to come together and circle-jerk: And "my side" is engaging in this happy horseshit as well: Awwwww... ...that just makes me want to... ...want to... ...want to... WANT TO GAG~! Yeah, I bet there would be all this "come together" garbage if McCain would have won instead of Osama. I'm sure all you 52ers would be going "Now's the time to come together" and other Koom-bay-ah shit. But even though I QUESTION MY LEADERS IN WASHINGTON because I'm a PATRIOT, I guess I could give this "come together" pseudo-unification a try. Here we go... Sorry, but Max isn't much into bipartisanship. However, Max is one hell of a PATRIOT~! • While I'm on the topic of QUESTIONING OUR LEADERS IN WASHINGTON, I also feel it's my PATRIOTIC DUTY to question our leaders in Medium-Large Media. With some reporters literally breaking down in tears on Election Night in joy of who won, will these protectors of the Fourth Estate be barred from any future relations with this administration? I think any journalistic credibility they possessed has just been flushed down the toilet, if it hasn't been already. And haven't you been doing everything you can to make "this new presidency work" for the last year-plus? And what's better than the video, the comments: From Wiki, and my own memory: OMGFAUXNEWSLOL19926~!!!!!! Hey, Chris, you know how to make a new presidency work? YOU QUESTION THEM. Why? It's your PATRIOTIC DUTY. Oh, and you also remove the first letter of the President-Elect's middle name from all keyboards on Capitol Hill. That brings people together as well. 6 p.m. • So Shittburgh's local left-wing rag's Sunday edition has yet another literary masterpiece from its editorial section. This time it's about gunz! The same topic I spoke about yesterday. Listen up you ivy-tower fuckheads. Want to know the reason why some people are buying up firearms? It's because that U.S. Supreme Court case you point out in your piece of shit editorial passed with a 5-4 decision. That means all it would take is one additional red diaper doper baby to be appointed for this to go the other way. Odd how you didn't bother to mention this. Oh, and Osama IS ANTI-GUN. I know it's hard for you to see this since you're on your knees slobbing his knob, but that's why you have PATRIOTS like me QUESTIONING OUR LEADERS. And speaking of questioning our leaders, I have to seriously question the judgment of Mr. Osama once I read this: OMG, W. uses hand sanitizer. Yeah, because it's not like he doesn't shake many hands throughout the day. (Hmmm, "not"/"doesn't" -- does that double negative cancel out? Who knows, who cares.) Hell, I bet if W. didn't use hand sanitizer and Osama ended up with the sniffles a day later he would write in his memoirs that GEORGE W. BUSH TRIED TO KILL HIM WITH BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS~! Just like the lemmings that stand there awestruck when you are reading from a script? But wait, there's more. Boy, that's a good thing to know. Hey, what's this? First he mocks the wife of a dead president, now he's offended by basic hygiene. I wonder if he's going to wash his hands after his last shit leading up to Inauguration Day? If not, I sure wouldn't want to be the next President to put his/her hand on that Bible. (I was going to make a "maybe he'll use a Koran instead" remark, but I'm doing my best to be bipartisan in these uncertain times.) If questioning your leaders in Washington makes you a traitor, then call me Benedict Arnold.

Oui.

Because when you take from the producers and "spread the wealth" to the gutter trash, said gutter trash will vote for you on Election Day.

9:15 p.m. • And I thought it would be Joe Biden making all the gaffes. Wow, and what a hard-hitting question regarding what dog to get his kids. Of course, later on in this conference a reporter axed a REAL question about taxing the rich, and Osama completely side-stepped the issue. And for those who post at the other place and wonder why I didn't post here what I posted there, well here you go: • So the better half watches "Survivor" and "Ghost Whisperer," which means she usually has this stupid gossip show on beforehand called "The Insider." Holy fuck is this program awful. Ever since the GOP Convention there always seemed to be a SPECIAL REPORT about Sarah Palin on this show. I'm not kidding. Every time Mrs. kkk had this garbage on before the cBS prime-time lineup there was a Palin Report -- whether it was SEX SECRETS or KNOCKED-UP KIDS or other things I had never heard of before. Last night before "Survivor" came on, and before I left the room because, I wanted to bet her that "The Insider" would include the latest PALIN SCANAL, either Gucci-gate or her opening the door to campaign aides with a towel wrapped around her. *Gasp!* Mrs. kkk declined the bet. She was smart. That was the lead story. This prompted Mrs. kkk to shout out "Oh for God's sake!" and changed the channel. And what hard-hitting secrets were revealed about Osama? We got to see the NEVER-SEEN-BEFORE... wedding photos. Scandalous. Oh, and to show my bipartisanship, when I heard Palin not knowing Africa was a "continent," my first response was, "that's because she couldn't see it from her house." Ba-da-bing! My second thought: "No wonder W.'s supporters love her so." Hey, if there's a joke to be had, I'll take it -- regardless of Party loyalty. Fuck, it's not like the GOP has been loyal to me, big-spending bastards. • LOL LOLx2 -- I love my fellow red-state voters. Christ, Osama sounds just like my ex-boss. You have to pick apart everything he says because he does so -- or at least when reading from a script. He respects the Second Amendment. That doesn't mean he won't try to rape it until it is just a pile of pink pulsating flesh. Yeah, you'll just take the bullets away or sue gun makers into oblivion. You also won't be allowed to take your firearm out of its lock box. Of course you will have armed bodyguards. Remember, it's your patriotic duty to question your leaders.

Mr. X brings up a topic that I like to remind everybody of each year. If you miss out on one or two games early in the week, be forewarned about posting the rest of your picks in the thread. If your opponent is already 1-2 up on you, they could just copy your picks and get the win. Just PM them to me.

Emergency Picks do not cover games that don't fall on the "big day" of football. (Thursday night games, Turkey Day games, those Saturday "special" games, etc.)

9:30 p.m. • Looks like someone violated a speech code. • Speaking of !@#$%$!%!$^%&^ers in the whitehouse, look what has happened since Election Day. Stock market free-falls, Russia sends boom booms to Poland's border, Putin is waving his albino pee-pee around. Now because questioning our leaders is the most PATRIOTIC THING a person can do, I want to know what Osama's plan is. Oh, and isn't there something better we can do with the money spent on this upcoming inauguration day? We're in a RECESSION and children are starving somewhere. Wow, being PATRIOTIC is the bee's knees.