King Cucaracha

Me. Velocity's a cool show...you get the best parts of Smackdown, Tazz making fun of Josh Matthews, Ultimo Dragon, some of the cruiserweights who don't get on Smackdown. Last week they had Rey vs Nunzio and Shannon vs Noble. That's two more quality matches than Raw usually has. It's a decent enough show, and if I did it, I'd probably not just write about Velocity...like add in my thoughts on news stuff that's going on beforehand. I'm not expecting everyone who watches wrestling to read it, but seeing as I watch Velocity every week, I might as well write a recap for it...

The guy has a point. The amount of times I've heard all that amongst the monotonous Fuck Goldberg shit... Goldberg is just gonna go out, destroy Mark Henry, pop the crowd with a Jackhammer on the big guy and someone else will attack him. Sure, it won't be a great match. It's not supposed to be. It's supposed to push Goldberg, who is the World Champ...supposed to make us give half a damn about someone in the midcard for a few shows...supposed to continue a stroyline which makes sense. The amount of times I've heard bitching about that stuff...you've got it.

Err Dames...I'm interested in Velocity recapping, but when would be the deadlines for each week? I'm asking because we don't get Velocity over here in Britian until Sunday night, and with school and shit, the earliest I'd be able to get that done would be Monday night/evening.

Vince freaked at the thought of MLW becoming competition with Lawler...god, I hate to think what he's like now. This is good news. The non-Hogan fans who think the TNA is gonna die overnight because of this can blow me. If TNA was gonna die over one little thing, it would have happened already. It hasn't. Hopefully this is the thing that can push TNA to near-competitiveness with the WWE. With that out of the way, what's the betting we'll kick off the show with Hogan bashing the WWE? That's a shoot brotha!

I wouldn't be surprised if they used one off Limp Bizkit's new album...if not this month, then soon.

So if you slapped my face off in public, murdering you afterwards would be justified because you didn't show me any respect? Fuckwad. M Never been to London have you?

I take it you never read any poems during your school years with half rhymes in. And yes, I am being serious. Not about 'school' and 'down'...That's just lazy as fuck...but 'asleep' and 'creek'. Personally, I don't get the over-hate here...well, sorry, I do...but it's taken to ridiculous levels at times. I haven't bought the album, I just borrowed it and put the half decent stuff on a copy CD with some other stuff. Eat You Alive is ok, as is Down Another Day. But it's not great I agree.

Or for leverage on a vertical suplex. I just think it's supposed to be 'morally wrong', but it can be interpreted as 'using other means to gain unfair advantage on pinfalls.' A reverse atomic drop is supposed to affect the tailbone rather than be a lowblow. For dropping people on the top rope, in kayfabe terms, it could be argued that the ropes were just in the way or it was accidental.

So, which McMahon is to blame for RVD/Christian apparently losing viewers then?

Thank fuck. I'd rather remember the great Bret Hart for what he was, rather than a handicapped version (which is really sad for me to say) in any type of competive match, be it with Angle or anyone.

Goldberg pops the crowd, but he isn't over as a draw for buyrates or ratings. Neither is RVD, but he's over as hell. What's your point?

Yeah, Triple H owns you Todd The “HEY WAKE UP AND WRITE” Match Daemon vs. Craig McLennan Memphis Eel wins with his new finisher, the Sweet Elbow Piledriver. “Bring Your Own Weapon” Match Jimmy “The Demon” Liston vs. “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins Liston, because Spike is inconsistant. Slightly Biased Cage Match for the T.V. Title Brian Bowers vs. Jay Morrison Bowers if he can write this week. European Title Match Todd Royal© vs. Dominic Korgath Toddster, though it'll be close, because I like Korgath's style. #1 World Contendership/#1 Euro Contendership Singles Match Aecas vs. Landon Maddix Err...well, I'd better not comment I guess. World Title Hardcore Match Insane Luchadore© vs. Manson I'm gonna go for the shock, and put Manson to win, because everyone else thinks IL.

HYPOCRITE ALERT! The guy is broke, but then he says he won't spend his money(which he doesn't have remember) on a promotion with Jarrett on top. Or, in other words... I'm broke, I have no money...I'll try and gain smark popularity and blame it on that damn Jeff Jarrett. Seriously, if he doesn't have the money to pay each week for the show, just say it. Don't bring Jarrett into it. If he must mention Jarrett, try a different paragraph or something.

No, he started before then...do you own Survivor Series 89? If so, watch the first match and the ref at ringside in particular, because it's Shane O Mac...with previously mentioned bowl haircut. He started refereeing in the late 80's, not just during the Attitude era. As for Vince, the problem is his character is a known ratings winner in the past. So obviously he'd use himself over guys like RVD and Christian when they cause the ratings to drop. Plus, Vince can still play a role as a manager, because he cuts a good interview or promo when he's not all over the latest hot blonde. So obviously he'll book himself to be out there.

Exactly why I wanted you to mark that match, Tod! ;) But anyways, I forgot to address this and I will right now: Maddix I booked you against such a tough opponent like Aecas because I thought you were one of the few could really take him on. You stand a decent chance of winning here, man, so don't put yourself down. Just write out your heart and you may actually do it . ...aw shucks.

Raw- Orton SD- Eddie

Nash vs Goldberg...meh. You'd think Vince would put Goldberg against someone to cover for his lack of pure wrestling. e.g Jericho. But Nash? Jeezum.

Ah...well, I really need to get with the time difference I guess...but yeah, I'll admit my stuff was a little late. So, my apologies for what it's worth. Sorry guys.

Oh joy...fourth loss in a row coming up Seriously though, good card Judgey...

Well I dunno what happened with IL and Manson, but I did my third of the match for what it's worth. And as for the other two matches...dissapointing to say the least. I would have thought at least one would show...but there ya go. Hopefully it'll be better next week, or those damn dancing HHHamsters will keep holding us down! Just getting there before everyone else.

Big Show- Eat You Alive by Limp Bizkit. Work it out for yourselves.

Velocity is Smackdown's version of Heat. Heat has recaps, Velocity has recaps. Thing is, using seperate angles on Velocity is a good idea, but Vince can't even write storylines for most the full Smackdown roster. Basically, they add the recaps so people have two chances to see what happened on Smackdown, just like they can Raw. Nobody watches Afterburn or Bottom Line.

Case in point- Flair/Fujinami in Japan, before Superbrawl 91. The sad thing is, the announcers would only bring it up if it would lead to a DQ or if a heel used it behind the ref's back.

RRR- They do use old music...Orlando Jordan has The Kat's old music, only with a different opening part... ...I watch Velocity too much.