The One and Only Smackdown Spoiler Thread

[Bored 0]

I'm guessing the first two matches listed as Velocity are dark matches.

 

Velocity:

 

Orlando Jordan beat Kanyon in 6:12

 

Jeremy Lopez beat Masada in 4:42

 

Nunzio w/ Stamboli beat Paul London w/ Spanky in 6:49

 

Sean O’Haire beat Ultimo Dragon in 4:52

 

Chuck Palumbo beat Funaki in 5:47

 

Scotty 2 Hotty w/ Rikishi beat Rhyno in 5:06

 

 

 

Smackdown:

 

-Vince comes out with a cast and crutches, plus stitches selling his SS match vs. Undertaker. He also comes out with Sable. Vince goes on about how UT beat him, yet an angel (Kane) from his higher power came to save the day. To thank him, Vince has invited Kane to be a special guest to deliver his brother’s “eulogy.”John Cena comes out, and dices Vince on the microphone. Cena was over.

 

-Backstage, Brock berates the rest of his SS team for making him tap. He says that they can make it up to him tonight, and he states that Nathan Jones will face Benoit and that he will be in Jones’ corner, and that Big Show will go against John Cena, thanks to Brock’s talking with Paul Heyman before the show. Good promo by Lesnar.

 

-Rey Mysterio beat Akio with the 619-springboard huricanrana in 6:53

 

-Backstage, Paul Heyman is looking for Shannon Moore. He asks a guy reading the new Smackdown magazine if he had seen Moore. The guy had not. Behind one wall, he finds Shaniqua beating the Bashams dominatrix style…as a celebration of their SS win over the Guerreros. Heyman finds Moore, and tells him that he is not mad at him for Matt Hardy’s defection to Raw. Rather, he is going to make Moore a star…..against Matt Morgan next.

 

-Matt Morgan beat Shannon Moore in 2:54 with a sit-down powerbomb.

 

-A Train beat Bradshaw with the mule kick in 5:52

 

-Brock Lesnar comes to the ring to second Nathan Jones in his match vs. Benoit. Lesnar receives huge “you tapped out” chants.

 

-Chris Benoit beat Nathan Jones with the crippler crossface in 5:59 Postmatch saw Benoit get beaten down by Lesnar, to be saved by Hardcore Holly. Holly is then thrown in jail and indefinitely suspended by Heyman.

 

-Kane comes out to give his brother the eulogy promised by Vince earlier. This segment was hot in the beginning, but died near the end. Basically, Kane said the brother he knew died a long time ago, and this compassionate helpful Undertaker was a fraud of a man.

 

-Tajiri beat Jamie Knoble in 4:49 with a roll-up made possible by Noble being distracted by a blind Nidia walking down to ringside with a cane.

 

-Backstage, the World’s Greatest Tag Team tells Heyman how bad they want the Guerrero’s, and what they are going to do to them.

 

-Guerreros beat WGTT in 3:57 with an Eddy frog splash. Postmatch saw WGTT attack Chavo’s leg with a chair, putting the leg in between the chair, and using the chair as a sort of modified toe hold. Eddy couldn’t save at first, and then got the chair to make the save. They teased tension again between Eddy and Chavo

 

Cat Video aired. He’s coming next Thursday.

 

-recap Eddy-Chavo in the ring moments ago. Cut to backstage, where Chavo is berating Eddy for his mistakes and miscues the past few weeks. Eddy tries to talk to Chavo but Chavo has none of it. When the trainer refuses to give Chavo a shot for the leg pain, Chavo mutters something about hanging with his “real friends.”

 

-John Cena beat Big Show non-title in 11:04 with a steel steps shot to the head. They did another step shot again, possibly as a re-tape for editing later.

[ISportsFan 0]

EDIT: Just got beat to it

 

Jason

[Guest Megatron]

Sounds like this one's gonna suck.

[tommytomlin 0]

Haha! Blind Nidia! Hahaahah

 

 

This better be a thing where she pretends to be blind just to trick Tajiri or else it's going to be corny.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Sweet!

[Guest Ray]

HOLYSHITBENOITMADENATHANJONESTAPOUT!!!!!!! :) :) :) :)

[AndrewTS 0]

Haha! Blind Nidia! Hahaahah

 

 

This better be a thing where she pretends to be blind just to trick Tajiri or else it's going to be corny.

Hmm

 

They'll repackage Gail as one of the Yakuza, and her and Nidia have a blindfold match, which manages to make the Nathan Jones matches look good?

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

Why are all the matches in the single digits as far as time except the main event??

 

I think one match made 5 minutes...so sad.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Well, they just killed any and all mystique that Jones had going for him by tapping him out.

[Guest Choken One]

Good...Let Benoit knock down all these giants en route to winning the WWE Title.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

Why are all the matches in the single digits as far as time except the main event??

 

I think one match made 5 minutes...so sad.

There's still seven matches, and more than 40 minutes of ring-time total (of course, assuming that none will be left on the cutting-room floor).

 

Although Guerreros/TWGTT being less than four minutes after their long matches from last spring is eyebrow-raising.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Good...Let Benoit knock down all these giants en route to winning the WWE Title.

Oh, I'm all for Jones getting fucked over, I just can't remember the last time they actually straight up fed somebody to Benoit.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

Doink?

[Anya 0]

So this Morgon hoss is using Batista's finish?

[starvenger 0]

Your friendly neighbourhood Chinese-Canadian in Tejas was in attendance at Smackdown (I just got back because I met some friends at a bar later on), so let me give a little feedback on the happenings:

 

FYI, the upper bowl was tarped off. Not a huge loss, as the upper bowl doesn't seem that big. The "U" left in the lower bowl was pretty full, though.

 

Velocity:

Orlando Jordan beat Kanyon in 6:12

 

Jeremy Lopez beat Masada in 4:42 

Actually these two were the curtain jerkers. OJ/Kanyon match wasn't all that bad. Then again, it wasn't great, either.

 

Jordan won with a high crossbody press, J-Lo won with a rollup.

 

On to Velocity proper

Nunzio w/ Stamboli beat Paul London w/ Spanky in 6:49

This will be YOUR Velocity match of the night. Paul London did a double jump springboard moonsault onto Nunzio's knees, and Nunzio hit a 2nd rope front dropkick for the pin.

 

Sean O’Haire beat Ultimo Dragon in 4:52

Remember when O'Haire had potential? Pace was what CRZ used to call "deliberate". Dragon missed the Asai and O'Haire hit the Widowmaker for the pin. They should let him use the Seanton Bomb.

 

Chuck Palumbo beat Funaki in 5:47

Spirited match, Funaki was kinda over, but in the end, he got whacked.

 

(edit)oops, Funaki kicked out of the Jungle Kick, and succumbed to a DEVASTATING Samoan drop...

 

Scotty 2 Hotty w/ Rikishi beat Rhyno in 5:06

I'm pretty sure he won with the worm, but to be honest, I went to take a piss and get another Shiner (which, at $7 for a pint, was a "bargain").

 

Right around here Rue ruined America The Beautiful by doing what all the singers do and trying to "make it their own". I'm all for a little ad-libbing, but the emphasis is on little. Kiss principle should apply...

 

Smackdown:

 

-Vince comes out with a cast and crutches, plus stitches selling his SS match vs. Undertaker. He also comes out with Sable. Vince goes on about how UT beat him, yet an angel (Kane) from his higher power came to save the day. To thank him, Vince has invited Kane to be a special guest to deliver his brother’s “eulogy.”John Cena comes out, and dices Vince on the microphone. Cena was over.

Tony Chimel pumped us up for the pyro, but sadly there was none for us today. Cena's rap had a "stretched until you're as tall as Yao Ming" verse, which obviously got a pop. Audience Participation Rhyming Word was "suck" (which apparently Sable taught Vince to do).

 

-Backstage, Brock berates the rest of his SS team for making him tap. He says that they can make it up to him tonight, and he states that Nathan Jones will face Benoit and that he will be in Jones’ corner, and that Big Show will go against John Cena, thanks to Brock’s talking with Paul Heyman before the show. Good promo by Lesnar.

 

-Rey Mysterio beat Akio with the 619-springboard huricanrana in 6:53

Probably your match of the night. But then, I suppose I should be biased towards my fellow Banana Jimmy Yang. Akio missed Yang Time, and Rey went 'rana-619-WCP for the win.

 

-Backstage, Paul Heyman is looking for Shannon Moore. He asks a guy reading the new Smackdown magazine if he had seen Moore. The guy had not. Behind one wall, he finds Shaniqua beating the Bashams dominatrix style…as a celebration of their SS win over the Guerreros. Heyman finds Moore, and tells him that he is not mad at him for Matt Hardy’s defection to Raw. Rather, he is going to make Moore a star…..against Matt Morgan next.

 

-Matt Morgan beat Shannon Moore in 2:54 with a sit-down powerbomb.

Morgan did the rotation bomb that DDP used to do for the win. Moore bumped pretty well, but back to Velocity for him.

 

-A Train beat Bradshaw with the mule kick in 5:52

Another piss break. Bradshaw went for the Clothesline from Heck and Albert hit him with the bicycle kick. Bradshaw also took a Baldobomb on the floor. Surprisingly not an awful match, although granted I only saw the last 2 min or so.

 

-Brock Lesnar comes to the ring to second Nathan Jones in his match vs. Benoit. Lesnar receives huge “you tapped out” chants.

 

-Chris Benoit beat Nathan Jones with the crippler crossface in 5:59 Postmatch saw Benoit get beaten down by Lesnar, to be saved by Hardcore Holly. Holly is then thrown in jail and indefinitely suspended by Heyman.

Benoit got some good pops. Jones is a bit better bumper than Morgan, but I'd say Morgan has the better offence (although that's not saying much). Look for the usual Benoit spots, but Chris, sadly is no miracle worker, and could only carry Jones to an "eh" match.

 

-Kane comes out to give his brother the eulogy promised by Vince earlier. This segment was hot in the beginning, but died near the end. Basically, Kane said the brother he knew died a long time ago, and this compassionate helpful Undertaker was a fraud of a man.

This was actually pretty good.

 

One of ZZ Top came out to ringside around this time. I don't know which one of the two guitarists it was.

 

-Tajiri beat Jamie Knoble in 4:49 with a roll-up made possible by Noble being distracted by a blind Nidia walking down to ringside with a cane.

Decent match, no heat, save for Tajiri's kicks and some of Noble's highspots. Oh, and nothing seems different about Nidia.

 

-Backstage, the World’s Greatest Tag Team tells Heyman how bad they want the Guerrero’s, and what they are going to do to them.

 

-Guerreros beat WGTT in 3:57 with an Eddy frog splash. Postmatch saw WGTT attack Chavo’s leg with a chair, putting the leg in between the chair, and using the chair as a sort of modified toe hold. Eddy couldn’t save at first, and then got the chair to make the save. They teased tension again between Eddy and Chavo

Criminally short. Given the large Hispanic population in Houston, I'm sure you can guess who got a big pop.

 

Cat Video aired. He’s coming next Thursday.

Yay?

 

-recap Eddy-Chavo in the ring moments ago. Cut to backstage, where Chavo is berating Eddy for his mistakes and miscues the past few weeks. Eddy tries to talk to Chavo but Chavo has none of it. When the trainer refuses to give Chavo a shot for the leg pain, Chavo mutters something about hanging with his “real friends.”

This can only mean one thing - a Hispanic gang to match up with the Yakuza and the FBI. Or Pepe II.

 

-John Cena beat Big Show non-title in 11:04 with a steel steps shot to the head. They did another step shot again, possibly as a re-tape for editing later.

Show blew a powerbomb spot, but it wasn't all that offensive a match.

 

About a thumbs in the middle show all told, I think. Fun though, and it's only about 10 blocks from my office, so if they come back again, I'm there.

Edited November 19, 2003 by starvenger

[deancoles 0]

i'd mark if Chavo got Juvi,Psicosis and La Parka in his gang.

[tommytomlin 0]

lWo?!

[deancoles 0]

They should get that mexican who was in one of the j cups and he would say the name of a wrestler and use their move.

[Adam 0]

Thats exactly what I was just thinking. But it would never happen.

 

But if it did....

 

4 Team Elimination Match - What is the best racial stereotype??????

 

lWo (Chavo, La Parka, Psicosis) vs. FBI (Nunzio, Palumbo, Stamboli) vs. Rice Squad 4000 (Tajiri and his 2 friends) vs. Team USA (Bradshaw, Bubba Dudley and, for a special one time appearance... the mystery partner... HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN!)

 

Your winners: Team USA, of course.

[deancoles 0]

the wwe would put Slaughter in the match since they have forgotten about 91.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Raw > Smackdown

[iliketurtles 0]

SD looks weak...Raw > Smackdown is true.

 

*gets dirty feeling throughout body*

 

I guess some things DO change.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

What have they done to my precious SD? Usually Velocity can be counted on for some killer stuff, but not this week.

 

Jordan ("WCW Buyout Killer") over Kanyon and S2H over Rhyno is just ridiculous. Yang gets jobbed in his 1st singles match. Hosses all over the show. Blind Nidia? Guerreros/WGTT get less than 4 minutes? Cat coming next week?

 

*sigh*

[deancoles 0]

Kanyon is twice as talented as Orlando Jordan.

[haVoc 0]

So, um, did Nidia put on any weight on a certain part of her body?

[Mecha Mummy 0]

Shit, not even VELOCITY looks very good this week. I'll tune in for London/Nunzio, but...

[Conspiracy_Victim 0]

They should get that mexican who was in one of the j cups and he would say the name of a wrestler and use their move.

What's his name? Damian 666 or something like that? I can never remember it for sure.

 

I always thought that would be a great gimmick. Calling out a superstar then using one of his signature moves would make for a fun match if booked well, although it might take some mystique out of the moves when someone hits like 4 or 5 "finishers" in a row. Unless he just finished off a match with different finishers.

 

Anyway, not a lot to look forward to, although I always get a laugh out of Cena's raps. Sticking slugs with talented wrestlers (i.e. Benoit v. Jones) usually doesn't make for good matches. I'll still watch it though.

[Mecha Mummy 0]

Yeah, that was Damian 666 who did the signiature name thing. It works a bit better in Japan because finishers aren't end-all be-all in puro as compared to US wrestling.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Smackdown still has wrestlers I give a damn about. They're booked horribly, but I still care about em enough to get mad when they're used improperly.

 

Let's see.

 

-Dragon jobs

-London jobs

-Moore job

 

Then they have the gall to put on a cruiserweight title match and expect people to care? This is ridiculous. IT'S CALLED A "DIVISION" FOR A REASON!

 

Jobbing Yang in his first match. This is Team Angle all over again... start them off a lil strong before jobbing them to the face... yeah, that didn't work very well for them either. At least make it a DQ in his first match, if you're not going to give him the win.

 

YES! BENOIT! JONES! Kurt's Sloppy Seconds!! Oh BOY am I going to love this feud!

 

*bashes head against desk*

 

... it could have been so good.

 

Jesus fucking Christ, a Vince promo and a Kane promo - LET THIS FEUD DIE!!!! NO MORE VINCE! THERE'S NO REASON FOR YOU TO BE ON TV! *Reads about Cena promo* OOOOH FUCK!

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

::looks forward to the "Rudometer" ratings for SD::