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JoeDirt

Vince as announcer

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I was watching the 96 Royal Rumble, with Vince and Mr. Perfect doing commentary tonight. I got a few laughs at things they said:

 

Perfect: Who's that?

Vince: That's Doug Gilbert!

Perfect (suddenly excited) All right!

 

Vince: It's Aldo Montoya!

Perfect: He's got the jock on the wrong part of his face!

Vince: I don't know about that...

 

Anyways, what are some of the stupid things that Vince said as announcer that you remember? I always remember him calling an inverted atomic drop a backwards piledriver, and his ONETWOTHREEHEGOTHIMNOHEDIDN'T!

 

Anything you remember?

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Ok here is the one that has always stuck out in my mind and I remember the first time watching it. Ok during the begining of the Doink/Crush feud. The week before on Superstars Doink had did something to Crush and Crush hurt Doink's arm.

 

So the next week on Superstars after Crush has won his match and is leaving Doink comes up to him with his arm in a sling and a flower and he's trying to give the flower to Crush to say that he's sorry. Now anyone with half a mind know that it was a fake arm. So after Crush takes the flower and leaves Doink pulls the fake arm out of the sling and starts beating the hell out of Crush.

 

Now here's thing unless you were blind you could tell that it was a fake arm and Doink was using both arms. Well Vince was freaking out saying things. OH MY GOD DOINK JUST PULLED HIS ARM OUT OF HIS SOCKET AND IS BEATING CRUSH. HOW CAN HE DO THAT? In other words Vince was acting like Doink pulled his REAL arm out of the socket and was beating Crush with it using the one real arm he has left. When anyone with any eyesight could see that it was not the case.

 

So for at least a good 5 minutes Vince is acting like Doink did just that then Vince sees that it was a FAKE arm Doink was beating Crush. Even as a mark I thought Vince was a dumbass for not seeing that. Hell I think the Brain was trying to tell Vince it was a fake and Vince just wasing hearing it.

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You just watched Rumble 1996, what about, "Yokozuna was just dumped uncerimoniously out of the ring by Yokozuna." Or how about, "Thats firm and proper."-Mr. Perfect talking about Marlenas excertionally toned and tanned legs.

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I was watching the 96 Royal Rumble, with Vince and Mr. Perfect doing commentary tonight.

The thing I remember about the commentary on that event is from the main event between Undertaker and Bret Hart. I remember Taker having a special mask on, from an angle where King Mable crushed the Undertakers face, and Vince didn't call it a mask. Oh, no. That's too simple for Vinnie. Instead he spent about half an hour calling it a "facial appliance".

 

I mean it's a mask for crying out loud. It's like the Undertakers cross...sorry "symbol".

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As an announcer, Vince said and did a lot of things that cracked me up. I think my favorite was sometime in 95 when Lawler...I don't remember exactly how they got on the subject, but he says something like "Shades of the great Muhammad Ali!", when suddenly, Vince jumps in and blurts out (imagine him in his most excited tone of voice)...

 

"Yeah...STING LIKE A BUTTERFLY!!!!!!!...wait a minute..."

 

 

There was another one from a Raw where Undertaker was scheduled to fight the British Bulldog. At the top of the show, Jerry Lawler says "The Bulldog's fixing to use the Undertaker for a fire hydrant". Vince pauses for a moment or two, then, in a disgusted tone of voice, blurts out "A WHAT?!?!"

 

Also, not really a quote, but back in the day when Flash Funk was around, Lawler used to tease Vince about dancing to his theme music. Then on one Raw in late 96, Flash is making his entrance and the camera focuses on the announce table, where Vince is doing probably the dumbest looking dance imaginable. My description can't do that justice, but it had me in tears I was laughing so hard.

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Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes

Anytime Vince McMahon tried being funny he sounded stupid. He just wasn't good.

 

(Someone does a hurricanrana)

 

WHATA MANUEVER!

 

(someone does an arm drag)

 

WHATA MANUEVER!

 

(someone does a dropkick)

 

WHATA MANUEVER!

 

 

For a guy who owned the biggest wrestling promotion, he sure as hell didn't know what anything was called.

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His fake laugh was great.

 

And I think you can include any time he tried putting over anyone/thing wrestlcrap worthy like The Goon or the Buddy Rose Blowaway Diet (which admittedly was a joke, but still.)

 

Can't think of any specifics.

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Guest Markingout

You guys forgot the best line ever. "BAAACK BODY DROP! MY GOODNESS WHAT A BACK BODY DROP!"

 

WHAT!!!!! CandianChris posting it at the same time as me...

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At SummerSlam 1994, Savage comes to ringside and lets Vince know he's got to do "The Thing in the Ring!!!"

 

Vince quips, "YES! MACHO MAN TO DO DA TING UH DUH TING!!!"

 

My favorite one came on Best of WWF Volume 15. Bam Bam just pinned Bundy with a fairly quick count as this exchange occured:

 

Jesse: I dispute that. That was a fast count.

Vince: YES YES YES!!! Oliver Humperdink's man is victorious! Go get em Bam Bam!!!

Jesse: That was a quick count!

Vince: That was not a quick count!

(Slo mo airs)

Jesse: I told oyu that was a fast count!!!

Vince: NO, That's a SLOW count!

Jesse: That's slow motion, you idiot!

Bruno: (laughs)

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Guest Stunt Granny

Shawn Micheals' entrance at Wrestlemania XII + WHOOOOA YEAH WHATTA RIDE!!!!!!!! = Gheyest thing ever.

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Also, not really a quote, but back in the day when Flash Funk was around, Lawler used to tease Vince about dancing to his theme music. Then on one Raw in late 96, Flash is making his entrance and the camera focuses on the announce table, where Vince is doing probably the dumbest looking dance imaginable. My description can't do that justice, but it had me in tears I was laughing so hard.

Yeah. The music is playing and he's grooving along when all of a sudden he goes "MMMMNNNNAAAHHHHAAAA. Ooooohh I KNOW that's right!" Then when Flash makes his way to the table, he & Vince dance together. I've got that on one of my "Good Work, Vince" comps. Too funny.

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Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes
At SummerSlam 1994, Savage comes to ringside and lets Vince know he's got to do "The Thing in the Ring!!!"

 

Vince quips, "YES! MACHO MAN TO DO DA TING UH DUH TING!!!"

 

My favorite one came on Best of WWF Volume 15. Bam Bam just pinned Bundy with a fairly quick count as this exchange occured:

 

Jesse: I dispute that. That was a fast count.

Vince: YES YES YES!!! Oliver Humperdink's man is victorious! Go get em Bam Bam!!!

Jesse: That was a quick count!

Vince: That was not a quick count!

(Slo mo airs)

Jesse: I told oyu that was a fast count!!!

Vince: NO, That's a SLOW count!

Jesse: That's slow motion, you idiot!

Bruno: (laughs)

Oh Man, that was great. Vince was such an idiot.

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I know this has nothing to do with his annoucing, but I picked up the Foley DVD the other day and had erased Vince's horrible dancing moves from my mind until I watched the Funker/Foley hardcore match from RAW IS WAR.

 

You could tell Austin was trying so hard not to burst into tears.

 

UYI

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Shawn Micheals' entrance at Wrestlemania XII + WHOOOOA YEAH WHATTA RIDE!!!!!!!! = Gheyest thing ever.

What about Vince sounding like he was having an orgasm during Lex Luger's entrance for the Yokozuna WWF Championship match at WrestleMania X?

 

Vince (paraphase): "LOOK AT THIS! HERE HE COMES! HERE HE COMES! "MADE IN THE USA" LEX LUGER!!! YES! GO! GO! HAHAHAHAH!!! YES! HERE HE COMES! WHAT A GUY!!!"

 

He did the same thing with Bret Hart when he came out for the Bret/Owen match earlier in the show.

 

And I know this isn't announcer Vince, but Vince and Shane's dances at the WrestleMania XV Road Rage party were some of the funniest shit I've ever seen in professional wrestling! I was reminded of this thanks to Vince dancing with Flash Flunk. :D

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And I know this isn't announcer Vince, but Vince and Shane's dances at the WrestleMania XV Road Rage party were some of the funniest shit I've ever seen in professional wrestling! I was reminded of this thanks to Vince dancing with Flash Flunk. :D

Oh GOD, I had forgotten all about that as well.

 

What's worse? I had family members in the room with me while I was watching it that hate everything about wrestling. Here I am, using the old 'well if a football player broke his leg mid-match, he wouldn't have to carry on until the finish, so who's the REAL man here?" argument, which is working, then VINCE AND SHANE start busting a move.

 

Never lived that one down.

 

UYI

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ATLEAST Vince dances very rarely. Meanwhile, Shane-O-Mac dances EVERYTIME he comes out (although he didn't start adding the dancing until he started using "Here Comes The Money" as his entrance theme. And he didn't dance as much during his face run in 2003 since he was supposely "a serious face"). You'd think someone would go up to him and tell him he can't dance. Hell, Shane's rich, he SHOULD afford some dancing lessons if he wants to act "cool" and "hip". And let's not forget the sunglasses, the leather jacket, and the "fist to the heart" move he did back in 1999.

 

Not only did he dance at the Road Rage party, but at WrestleMania XV itself. Watch for it during his entrance for the WWF European Title Match vs. X-Pac. He stops midway in the entranceway, and does ANOTHER stupid dance, and then walks to the ring.

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Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes

......FUCK! I forgot what I was going to say. Oh ya, Shane does a victory dance at SSeries 2001 when he pinned Show, then Rock comes in staring at him, Shane gives this "OH NO!" look like he shat his pants and the faces just kill him. Just great.

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I loved that Vince would get pissed at the referee after an alleged slow count. Even though the wrestler clearly kicks out before 3.

 

1-2-He got him. No he didn't, come on ref.

 

Announcer Vince was great.

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Guest wayzing
Vince McMahon was the greatest PBP man the WWF ever had.

Vince was very good on Superstars of Wrestling and Saturday Night's Main Event as long as Jesse Ventura was around to provide some balance. And Vince showed that he could be very good at it.

 

Jesse didn't seem afraid to take the piss on Vince while others may have been intimidated. During the mid 90's Vince was plain awful IMHO. Fake laughs at crappy gimmick comedy, "wow, whaddamannouvre", "1-2-hegotimnooooo" and so on.

 

80's Vince = Good on PBP

90's Vince = Come on ref...

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