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therealworldschampion

Great Heenan quotes

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One of my favorite parts of the Flair DVD is Bobby Heenan's commentary during the RR '92 match. He seriously sounded like he was going to have a stroke. In honor of the Brain,I'd like to post some of his more classic quotes. Feel free to add on....

 

"You know what 'arriba' means?"-Heenan

"No, what?"-Gorilla

"It means 'Swim faster, the border guards are coming" - Heenan

 

"You ever say hello to Tatanka?"-Heenan

"Yes"-Gorilla

"Did you do it properly?"-Heenan

"Yes"-Gorilla

"You mean you went Hey-how-are-you,hey-how-are-you..."-Heenan

 

"You know the state of New York could have them legally condemned"-Heenan about the Bushwhackers and Jameson

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We could probably do these all day.

 

He has a quote in his latest book about how he was doing interviews for the first book and was asked if he'd ever been hit with a chair. His response: "I've been hit with so many chairs that my head smells like ass."

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I'm reading his first book right now and one of my favorites in this is when he talked about the angle he was supposed to do with Ken Patera after Patera got out of prison. The "Would you like some Stickybuns? I mean would you like some sticky buns?" line nearly made me spit out my drink.

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On the Bobby Heenan Show. Something along the lines off...

 

Bobby: "So how long have you been married, sir?"

Guy: "21 years."

Bobby: "Wow. You know if you'd have killed her on your honeymoon and you'd be out by now."

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Nothing will ever top Heenan proving he's the smartest man in wrestling history...

 

 

"BUT WHO'S SIDE IS HE ON????"

He always gets so much crap for that quote, but really it was totally in character.

 

Heenan always mistrusted Hogan's morals and ethics (much like Ventura always did), and would definitely question whether or not Hogan would be selling out to the nWo.

 

Of course, maybe not the best timing for the character to come out, but it was in character I think.

 

Jason

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^ that's my stance on... at the time he was probably doing it in character, but I think it should have been built up that way through the match...with them saying "who is the third man? is there a third man? could it be one of our guys? is it one of our guys?! could it be ___, or ____, or _____?" and then have Heenan pipe in with "It's Hogan...he's such a scumbag" and then have the announcers tear him one so that later when it happened Heenan could have looked like the smart one.

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Just watched a High Energy match, and apparently Koko B. Ware got a haircut...

 

HEENAN: "I'm gonna tell you something about Koko that I don't think you know.

MONSOON: "I'm waiting..."

HEENAN: "He's not only a client, but he's also the president!"

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Just watched Bret-Perfect from Summerslam '91 and I got a great one

 

"Know why they're nervous? They snuck in. They're looking for the usher." - Heenan talking about Stu and Helen Hart looking nervous during the match

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To Bob Eucker at WrestleMania IV: "I understand you had 7,000 votes for the Hall of Fame. You'd have had more, but you ran out of stamps."

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and that response was?

I think it went something like this...

 

Heenan : But whose side is he on?

Schiavone : What?

Heenan : WHO'S SIDE IS HE ON?

Schiavone : Eh - err- what - are - you ... taaaaaaaaaalking about!

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He always gets so much crap for that quote, but really it was totally in character.

 

Heenan always mistrusted Hogan's morals and ethics (much like Ventura always did), and would definitely question whether or not Hogan would be selling out to the nWo.

 

Of course, maybe not the best timing for the character to come out, but it was in character I think.

 

Jason

 

Charcter wise, Heenan always questioned Hogan. The Brain always hated Hogan so thats why he said that. Reality wise, he knew something was up because he saw Hogan in a limo earlier in the night.

 

I got one

 

"Never touch a midget, you never know where they've been"

 

and also this one

 

"In case you didn't know, the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky. Anyplace else and they would have named the "teethbrush"!

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Guest drdrainoscott

Wait. They foreshadowed the turn by having Hogan be in a limo? I don't remember that at all.

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Wait. They foreshadowed the turn by having Hogan be in a limo? I don't remember that at all.

No.

 

In real life, Heenan had seen Hogan arriving in a limo, and he wasn't scheduled to be there.

 

Anyway, I have another one. Nitro used the Mexican minis for one shot, and while Heenan was told keep himself toned down, he got one great line in on Mascarita Sagrada (IIRC):

 

"When they told him he was going to be here, he said 'I'm so excited, I feel like I'm four feet tall'."

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I think it went something like this...

 

Heenan : But whose side is he on?

Schiavone : What?

Heenan : WHO'S SIDE IS HE ON?

Schiavone : Eh - err- what - are - you ... taaaaaaaaaalking about!

IIRC, Dusty was the one that responded.

 

Here's a funny one (or so I think) from that site posted above.

 

(Just before they run a Tito Santana match)

Brain: "Did you know that Tito holds a place in the Guinness

Book of World Records?"

Gorilla: "Yeah, for what?"

Brain: "He picked over 1600 heads of lettuce in a half an hour."

Gorilla: "Will you stop!"

(Match is televised, Tito wins)

Gorilla: "Well, it doesn't look like Tito needs to concern

himself with lettuce heads anymore."

Brain: "Yep - he can move right on to tomatoes."

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Danny Davis just beat Koko B Ware w/ brass knucks.

 

Monsoon: Tell me you didnt see that Brain.

Brain: I happened to be looking at this bird over here making some noise . . . I got the pin though.

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During an Outback Jack match:

 

Heenan: "Old Outhouse Jack himself."

Monsoon: "Outback Jack."

Heenan: "What's Jack short for?"

Monsoon: "What do you mean, 'What's Jack short for'?"

Heenan: "Jack's short for John, right?"

Monsoon: "Yes."

Heenan: "I rest my case."

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Guest JohnnySwift

One of my favorite Heenan quotes was during the Hogan vs. Goldberg match from Nitro when talking about Karl Malone. It goes something like, "...big deal I know his brother Sam Malone from Cheers but you don't hear me bragging about it"

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and that response was?

I think it went something like this...

 

Heenan : But whose side is he on?

Schiavone : What?

Heenan : WHO'S SIDE IS HE ON?

Schiavone : Eh - err- what - are - you ... taaaaaaaaaalking about!

I think Schiavone also said: "DON'T SAY THAT!"

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At This Tuesday In Texas in 1991

 

Monsoon: "We're about to have a match at a place where a very big fight took place about 150 years ago...."

Heenan: "Know why there were only 300 Mexicans at the Alamo?"

Monsoon: "No. Why?"

Heenan: "They only had one car."

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Right after Yokozuna won the title and did a Bonzai Drop on Hogan.

 

Little children are crying in the audience! Hulkamania is DEAD!!!

 

:lol:

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There was a great one just before the Bulldog/Bret match at Summerslam 1992, where Bobby keeps claiming that Diana Hart is ring announcer Mike McGuirk. Also his reasons why Nails got imprisoned was classic.

 

"It was Mother's Day, he went to a shop to get some flowers and he got a parking ticket. He forgot to pay it and they put him in the slammer"

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