Smarkdown Card!

[Guest Suicide King]

The Smartmarks wrestling Federation presents...

SWF SMARKDOWN, MONDAY, JULY 12TH, LIVE FROM THE MELLON ARENA IN PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA!

(5:00pm PCT, 8:00pm EST; check local listings)

 

Send marked matches, promos, etc. to realitycheck

 

 

 

MAIN EVENT

HANDICAP MATCH

Janus vs Alan Clark and Edward James (the WAYWARD SONS!)

The World Champion is off of suspension, and with his steely gaze he sees two men who want what is his. The time will come to deal with them, but for now, he must prepare. The monster champion actually REQUESTED a handicap match to prove his mettle, and to show Flesher and Toxxic that it doesn't matter if they work together against him or against each other. Each way, they will lose. The Wayward Sons aren't exactly pleased with being a rung on the ladder of Janus' preparation though. Once they slay the monster, it's only a hop, skip, and a jump to Hollywood Boulevard and their Tag Team Titles!

Rules: Only two men in the ring at any given time. Clark and James must tag in and out. DQs and countouts.

Word Limit: 6000

Send To: realitycheck

 

SINGLES MATCH FOR THE USJL CHAMPIONSHIP

Masked Man vs Todd Cortez

Cortez has a very real problem. Van Siclen abandoned him in favor of Polynesian loving. Next week on Storm he must defend the Tag Titles, and he doesn't have a surplus of friends. That said, Commissioner Zenon was kind of enough to give him a title match against the... unique... Masked Man! This should help Cortez find his fighting spirit. That of course assumes that the Sexual Maskosaurus does not gouge out his eyes with a box cutter.

Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 5000

Send To: Thoth

 

SINGLES MATCH ALSO UNDER CRUISERWEIGHT RULES

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs Ced Ordonez

Toxxic isn't alone in trying to send a message tonight. Flesher demanded a smaller opponent, so he could further show Toxxic that "anything he can do I can do better." Ced Ordonez could be in for one heck of a night... but a win here could mean strapping the Cross Wizard to a rocket all the way to the top of the card!

Rules: Cruiserweight rules also

Word Limit: 4500

Send To: Grand Slam

 

SINGLES MATCH

Manson vs "The Corona" Vladimir Everheart

Mr. Everheart is the proud new owner of an SWF contract! Tonight we get to see what he is made of as he takes on our welcoming committee!

Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 3500

Send To: Kibagami

 

TAG MATCH

Ryan Dustin and Johnny Dangerous vs Martin "Big Country" Hunt and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix

Each team consists of a champion and a contender. Dustin, our HCG champ, is currently being pursued by "Big Country," in addition to being savagely beaten by Austin Sly during the previous two shows. Mr. Maddix is fixed firmly in the Secret Agent's sights. So, a random thrown together tag match you say? I'm hurt. No, this tag match actually has something on the line... the winning team may name the stipulations of the title matches that they will find themselves in shortly! No matter who wins, one champion and one contender will have a serious advantage when the Commissioner schedules their shot at the gold!

Rules: standard tag rules. the winning team gets to name the stipulation for their respective title matches.

Word Limit: 5000

Send To: Suicide King

 

SINGLES MATCH

Toxxic vs Jamie Drazon

Toxxic is very, very cross. Flesher irks him terribly, and it is time he was sent another message of impending blood loss. And so our boy Toxxic requested a match against a veteran competitor and a mainstay of the SWF for many years. Zenon chuckled, and booked the Hardcore Maniac. Will JD absolutely discombobulate Toxxic, or will the Straight Edge Sensation show that skill and experience is no match for the WILL TO DOMINATE?!

Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 4000

Send To: Thoth

 

SINGLES MATCH

The Birdman vs Petey the Irish Penguin

Really, this introduction match for the Birdman booked itself. Let's see what the new guy can do against our very own Gael in a penguin suit!

Rules: standard singles match

Word Limit: 3000

Send to: Suicide King

 

HARDCORE MATCH

Ace Lezaire vs Rob Gilbert

Ace Lezaire is a little cranky about the main event of the last show. He would like to take his frustration out on someone, and Robzilla was kind enough to volunteer. Hopefully there will be something left for the buzzards...

Rules: no countout, no dqs.

Word Limit: 4000

Send to: Grand Slam

 

SINGLES MATCH

Sean Davis vs Dace Night

Sean Davis has been cutting a swath in his first few weeks, and now it is time to see if he has the skills to hang with the big boys. And here in the SWF they do not get any bigger than Dace Night. If Davis should win, his place in the upper midcard is assured. If Dace should win, it is one more notch on a very notched weedwhacker...

Rules: standard singles match

Word Limit: 4500

Send to: Kibagami

 

SINGLES MATCH FOR THE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Austin Sly vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins

Austin has made Ryan Dustin his personal bi-... well, he hasn't been very nice to him. Sly barged into Commissioner Zenon's office, demanding the opportunity to become a double champion! Z tersely informed him that not only was there already a #1 contender to the HCG Title he wanted so badly, but that before Sly even got the chance at Dustin he had to take care of some business in the cruiserweight division. Enter Spike Jenkins. Jenkins has recently aligned himself with Toxxic, and the results have been predictable. What effect will this alliance have on this guaranteed to put asses in seats show opener? I don't know, but I think we're all going to enjoy finding out.

Rules: Cruiserweight rules

Word Limit: 5500

Send to: realitycheck

Edited July 8, 2004 by Suicide King

[Guest Suicide King]

Lots of people for this show, and my first time in forever, so go easy on my guys.

[muzz 0]

I get thrown in a random inane tag match, then left off the card?

 

Woo.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

King. I like your style.

[Guest Suicide King]

Sorry muzzums. I thought after that train wreck of a main event you would want a show off to make your brain work again. I will add a match to the card for you here in a moment.

Edited July 8, 2004 by Suicide King

[Sly 0]

Maybe I should have requested this card off afterall.

[Guest Suicide King]

and again, everyone please note that your place on the card is not the importance of your match.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

You realize, of course, that the more matches you book on a card, the fewer dark matches I can put on the HOLT report... and that makes me a sad panda...

 

 

- Dub "le sigh" Cee

[Guest Suicide King]

you've got plenty of jobbers to use WC. and the last show was so sparse, with only two promos I felt as if I had to schedule everyone. And I still couldn't do it.

[Guest Ghetto Bird]

Does Petey the Irish Penguin have stats posted anywhere?

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Eh, I guess I can always dig up some scrubs from the JL stat page.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

You can always bring out Thor to have Judge job too!

[muzz 0]

Does Petey the Irish Penguin have stats posted anywhere?

On the old stats page, near the bottom of the second page.

[janusd 0]

MAIN EVENT

HANDICAP MATCH

Janus vs Alan Clark and Edward James (the WAYWARD SONS!)

*suppresses compulsion to laugh maniacally, strolls off whistling*

[Lightning Flik 0]

MAIN EVENT

HANDICAP MATCH

Janus vs Alan Clark and Edward James (the WAYWARD SONS!)

*suppresses compulsion to laugh maniacally, strolls off whistling*

*just looking at that and thinking "I ... am ... dead."*

[The Ill One 0]

Hmmm, a ringer! Yes. I'm drunk. Yes. I'll show. Once I leave New York's Ball Sack (New Jersey).

 

[Ced 0]

First Hollywood Boulevard and now Flesher, eh?

 

*reserves the plot in JttS Hell next to Flik's*

 

Well, at least I've got the weekend to write this time around.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Oooh, sweet card!

[The Amazing Rando 0]

Damn.

 

 

But hey, it's in the MELLON~

 

Too bad nobody can fall off a Cell roof or something.

[Sly 0]

Has anyone called the opening promo yet?

[Guest Suicide King]

Not to my knowledge.

[Sly 0]

You know what, I changed my mind. I wont be needing that spot afterall.

[Dace59 0]

If Sly isn't using it, I'll have the opening promo slot for a change.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

I've been meaning to ask, what's the deal with Petey, anyway? Why is it that sometimes he's written as Tim Dillon in a penguin suit, and other times he's written as a semi-intelligent, giant mutant penguin?

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

If you have to ask, you will never know.

 

 

 

 

I got that from a old Rugrats episode.

[the.weej 0]

I've been meaning to ask, what's the deal with Petey, anyway? Why is it that sometimes he's written as Tim Dillon in a penguin suit, and other times he's written as a semi-intelligent, giant mutant penguin?

I blame Ebony for setting a bad precident.

 

-Z

[janusd 0]

I've been meaning to ask, what's the deal with Petey, anyway? Why is it that sometimes he's written as Tim Dillon in a penguin suit, and other times he's written as a semi-intelligent, giant mutant penguin?

I blame Ebony for setting a bad precident.

 

-Z

I suppose you mean precedent, Z?

 

And hey, Ebony's far more over.

[The Ill One 0]

...Well, he's meant to be written as Tim Dillon in a giant penguin suit... but since I don't show and people are stupid- you get a mixture of both. Kind've like if Riley had an in-ring return how many people would write him as gay as Rico, which wouldn't be the case.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

Well, I've come to (more than likely) apoligize for either a horrible showing or a no-showing (depending on whether or not Flik can do ANYTHING).

 

I just recently started a new job and the 8 hour days at all concievable hours are killing my sleep schedule and any time i would have to concentrate on writing.

 

Luckily, I have the next two days off and can devote time to the tag team title match (if we are booked in it).

 

So I am sorry. I gave it my best shot, but I feel my story for the match wouldn't have been near as good as what the fucking WORLD CHAMPION would have come up with...

 

I'm just asking not to be dropped on my head again, it's things like vicious nasty instant death head drops that can really damper a day.

[Lightning Flik 0]

Luckily, I have the next two days off and can devote time to the tag team title match (if we are booked in it).

Rando, the stipulation is that we have to win the match to get the tag team titles shot. So I don't think we'll be getting the shot at the titles since we'll probably be losing to Janus. And most likely, Janus will drop Eddy, head first into like the concrete or something.

 

And why apologize for my bad writing that they'll have to put up with? *shrugs* Not like you are the one to blame for my bad writing style.