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Guest Agent of Oblivion

The Official What I think You Look Like

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

nl5xsk1 is a slightly reformed counterculture-looking creep. He's had all manner of long hair, spiky hair, bald head, etc. Right now it's semi-long, either pulled back or combed back to be presentable in the job market, he wears an older Dead Kennedys shirt around the house, and has laugh lines and crows feet. Somewhat tan, medium build. Not a bad looking guy, but nothing breathtaking. His eyes are blue.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I get an ethnic vibe from Fook. Either partially black or hispanic, he's short and dark, outgoing but easygoing and normal, he's particular about a few possessions such as toiletries and DVDs being in their proper place. Well groomed, but not fanatical about it, he doesn't get into the outdoors, and has a pizza box in his kitchen. Slight lovehandles, in the right light.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

More than anybody, I know what Alfdogg looks like.

 

Alfdogg is fairly tall by average standards. He stands no higher than six feet, or right at the cusp, and probably weighs about 230-250. Sandy brown hair, and hazel eyes ranging to brown, he has at least one trophy in his room from his youth, even if it says "participant" on it. A little younger than me, he is clean shaven, or else has a horrible moustache and goatee. His clothes are baggy, except the shirts which allow some of his back/asscrack to show if he bends over or runs, which isn't particularly often. He's whiter than hell, with a farmer's tan, pink nipples, doofy grin, and big feet. He has a loud high pitched laugh, and talks in goofy voices to certain friends, mainly in strange in-jokes, obscure references, and catchphrases. Not a particularly social animal, he has a few good friends, maybe a girlfriend or someone he likes a lot at least, but can't ask out, he grew up within at least 20 feet of an IU basketball goalpost.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Frank Nabbit is a fucking lardass. Weighing at LEAST 300 pounds, (maybe 350-375), he carries it very poorly, and is shaped like a pear. He has a really irritating smile, and wears his hair either shaved completely, or in a crew cut. He's got a terrible goatee that doesn't reach beyond his double chin, and he wears offensive t-shirts with camo pants that make his ass look huge, even if he wishes it'd make it invisible. He has no self esteem but doesn't let that get in the way of his general nihilism. He might have some dirty fucker of a friend who is also pretty vile. Maybe a lackey of some variety that people make gay innuendos about. A few scars from self-mutilation, he latches onto pro wrestling for the drama underlined by debauchery and drugs, clinging to vague false hero stereotypes in a self-absorbed fantasy to take him away from his reeking bitch-tittied reality. Frank Nabbit's appearance would be pitiable, if he were a tolerable person.

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...

 

That is a creepily accurate description.

 

My weight is actually in the 270 range, and as long as it is I'll never be caught wearing a shirt that isn't baggy.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Treble Charged looks like a canadian nerd, and owns at least five posters compiled of sports teams, popular bands, and some place he's visited. His mannerisms are kind of lazy. he slouches, and doesn't suck his gut in, but is in decent shape compared to most folks, doesn't smoke cigarettes at all or drink too excessively (not before class/work, or through the week much, if at all.) He obeys traffic laws, has bad skin, and doesn't smile a whole lot, though he's not sad or angry at the world.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

JAxl-Regular Frat guy. Has a stupid tribal tattoo, probably or some Kanji meaning "strength" or "tiger" or maybe a yin-yang. Decent looking, but isn't running any marathons or competing in sports much beyong a pickup game of basketball or flag football, as long as there's chicks around. Devoted entirely to getting poontang, he smells like Axe and wears mall clothing and band shirts featuring attractive rock stars.

 

He also owns at least one piece of hemp jewelry, and a velcro wallet.

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Guest Fire and Knives
Kibagami's an interesting one to try to decode. I'm getting more brown hair, here..short. Very short. He's gone bald at some point, but it's growing back. A goatee sometimes, he wears undershirts around the house quite a bit, and has either his girlfriend or his mother complain at him about cleaning up, even though he has all the makings of someone fairly clean cut. Also a regular guy, though a bit of a slob with his stuff and clothing.

Scarily close, except for the length of the hair. Though that is a minor quibble when you somehow know that my girlfriend is perpetually bothering me to dress nicer.

 

Damn, homie.

 

K.

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JAxl-Regular Frat guy. Has a stupid tribal tattoo, probably or some Kanji meaning "strength" or "tiger" or maybe a yin-yang. Decent looking, but isn't running any marathons or competing in sports much beyong a pickup game of basketball or flag football, as long as there's chicks around. Devoted entirely to getting poontang, he smells like Axe and wears mall clothing and band shirts featuring attractive rock stars.

 

He also owns at least one piece of hemp jewelry, and a velcro wallet.

I loathe Frats, lol. No tribal, but I do have chinese lettering on my ankle meaning "writer". Flag football is for queers, btw, we only play tackle around here. I've definitely never bought Axe, although I have stolen a spray from a friend, and I definitely don't wearing mall clothing. It's either flannel like it's 1992, and occasional Polo shirt if it's a nice bar, or jerseys.

 

Either way, hysterical reading. And yes, I am devoted entirely to getting poontang.

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Guest FrigidSoul

You're going to get bored of typing up long descriptions of people really fast.

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Guest Frank_Nabbit
Frank Nabbit is a fucking lardass. Weighing at LEAST 300 pounds, (maybe 350-375), he carries it very poorly, and is shaped like a pear. He has a really irritating smile, and wears his hair either shaved completely, or in a crew cut. He's got a terrible goatee that doesn't reach beyond his double chin, and he wears offensive t-shirts with camo pants that make his ass look huge, even if he wishes it'd make it invisible. He has no self esteem but doesn't let that get in the way of his general nihilism. He might have some dirty fucker of a friend who is also pretty vile. Maybe a lackey of some variety that people make gay innuendos about. A few scars from self-mutilation, he latches onto pro wrestling for the drama underlined by debauchery and drugs, clinging to vague false hero stereotypes in a self-absorbed fantasy to take him away from his reeking bitch-tittied reality. Frank Nabbit's appearance would be pitiable, if he were a tolerable person.

Dude, everything but the weight (I'm 230) and the goatee (which I'd like to grow) is nearly dead on.

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DCMaximo is a scrawny brit who wears band shirts that no one ever comments about, and he'd fall in love with a spectacled girl who did.

Woah, if I was a touch thinner, that really would be me down to a tee. Kudos

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What the hell... I'm in. I'm sure it will be an interesting description. I'm curious how correct AoO could be....

Edited by MrRant

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Given our history and my general attitude on this board outside of the sports folder, I can only imagine what AoO has to say about me. That's enough to pique my interest. Go for it.

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Guest Fook
I get an ethnic vibe from Fook. Either partially black or hispanic, he's short and dark, outgoing but easygoing and normal, he's particular about a few possessions such as toiletries and DVDs being in their proper place. Well groomed, but not fanatical about it, he doesn't get into the outdoors, and has a pizza box in his kitchen. Slight lovehandles, in the right light.

Except for the ethnicity and height (I'm white and about 5'11) that description is uncanny.

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Well, since about a thousand guys have asked for a description since the last time AoO typed one... count me in too. NO SLEEP FOR YOU.

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