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Posted (edited)

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...

SWF SMARKDOWN, MONDAY, AUGUST 16TH, LIVE FROM THE AMERICAN WEST ARENA IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SUMMER!! WHEW!! (5:00pm PCT, 8:00pm EST; check local listings)

 

Send marked matches, promos, etc. to TheBostonStrangler

 

(note: I’m not sure whether or not I can mark next Friday or not. I plan on finding out tomorrow, and if I can, I’ll take a match from one of the two or three people pulling double duty tonight. If I can’t… well, I tried to balance it out as much as I could.)

 

SIX-MAN MAIN EVENT OF DOOM!!

The Masked Man, Mike Van Siclen, and Todd Cortez vs. Andrea Montgomery, The Birdman, and Justin Bowers

~ Wow. Is this zany or what. Masked Man/MVS/Cortez is something that I just don’t want to get into right now, but to say the least, there are several possible directions that this match could go in, and no matter what, someone’s feelings are bound to get hurt. On the other side of things, the Birdman delays his Hardcore Title shot in order to team up with Andrea here, as well as… Justin Bowers? Huh, how the hell did he get into the Main Event? As I said, zany.

Rules: Normal six-man stuff. Two men in the ring at once… count-outs/DQ’s are in effect but not heavily enforced… we just throw everyone together and hope that it doesn’t turn out to be too much of a clusterfuck.

Word Limit: 7000

Marker: chirs3

 

SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE WACKINESS!!

”The Superior One” Tom Flesher vs. Sean Davis w/ Special Guest Ref: “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins

Tom Flesher has what Spike Jenkins thinks he rightfully deserves. Male genitals. But on another note, he also has the SWF Cruiserweight Title around his waist. That also slightly ticks off Jenkins. That said, seeing as how this fed is ALL ABOUT being FAIR… we’re having Tom do battle with Jenkins’ tag partner, and making Spike the guest referee! MAD WILD CRAZY MADNESS~!

Rules: Well, we’ll just see what Spike’s definition of “rules” is. Spike can write if he wants to.

Word Limit: 6000

Marker: Grand Slam

 

SUBMISSION MATCH!! OH MY!!

Landon Maddix vs. Ace Lezaire

~ Hrm, only one man will continue to impress us higher-ups here in the SWF after tonight, and the other won’t just lose… he’ll tap out.

Rules: No DQ’s. No Count-Outs. But in order for a man to win, he must make his opponent tap out INSIDE the ring, and in the center, to boot. Rope breaks can’t be enforced, really, but if a man taps out and he’s touching the ropes, it means jack-shit, so it’d be smart to apply your Crazy 8 Indian Venus Fly Trap Death Lock Mach 4 or whatever you’ve got up your sleeve as far away from the ropes as possible.

Word Limit: 5700

Marker: Kibagami

 

RECOVERY MATCH!!

Dace Night vs. Johnny Dangerous

~ Both men lost their respective Lockdown matches, which is a downer, but tonight, they’ll both be given the chance to get back on track!! A win here for Johnny would be particularly impressive. Up until his loss on Lockdown, he was on a semi-roll and on his way to the SWF upper-card… and what could possibly help him continue that roll more than a clean win against the fed’s resident Hardcore King?

Rules: Standard. How boring.

Word Limit: 5500

Marker: chirs3

 

USJL TITLE MATCH!!

“The Corona” Vladimir Everheart vs. Manson©

~ Vlad won a shot at Manson’s title on Lockdown. He cashes in immediately. Fighting is fun and all, but fighting for GOLD is an entirely different shindig. These two are out for blood, and the USJL title. Now kill each other already.

Rules: The usual batch.

Word Limit: 5500

Marker: Thoth

 

HARDCORE BOUT!!

Jamie Drazon vs. Candace

~ Candace is deadly. She is beautiful. She is young, talented, and has two men escort her wherever she goes. So far here in the SWF, she’s undefeated. Her entrance theme is even a David Bowie song, for Christ’s sake. Yup, you could easily say that Candace is bound to go far here in the SWF. So what should we do for her second match, you ask? PIT HER AGAINST THE HARDCORE MOTHERFUCKING GOD JAY DAWG JAMIE DRAZON IN A HARDCORE MOTHERFUCKING MATCH AND WATCH HER BLEED!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! DIE, CANDACE, DIE!!!! …*cough* Sorry. …Uhm, make us proud, Candy.

Rules: There are none. Deal with it.

Word Limit: 5000

Marker: Thoth

 

FOUR-MAN THREE-PHASE ELIMINATION MATCH!!

Ryan Dustin vs. David Cross vs. Edward James vs. Nathan Xavier

~ Floundering wrestlers a-go-go here, as far as I know. A win for any of these men (especially Cross or Xavier, the n00bz) could bump them up a notch on the SWF card.

Rules: Alright, this is how this shit goes down. Four men start out in the ring at the same time. Disqualifications and Count-Outs are in full effect. One man is eliminated by being disqualified, pinned, counted out, or by submitting, and he returns to the backstage area, leaving the three remaining competitors behind. At this point, the count-outs rule is dropped, and wrestlers can be pinned anywhere in the arena. Once one more competitor is pinned, leaving two men left, the disqualification rule is dropped. So with the last two men left, there are no rules, and they’re free to roam about to bludgeon each other with aluminum bats or whatever. Perhaps a bit complicated, but eh, I was bored, and I’m sure you’ll survive. Go at it, boys.

Word Limit: 5000

Marker: Suicide King

 

 

OPENING SINGLES MATCH OF DEATH!!

Ced Ordonez vs. "Grand Slam” Mark Stevens

~ Your standard singles match to start out the show. Except this one has an ex-referee and Bemani Cross Wizard against a former world champion and hall of famer. You don't even want to know what the line is down in Vegas.

Rules: Standard-osity.

Word Limit: 4000

Marker: Kibagami

Edited by realitycheck
Posted
So...is my match for the title or not?

Not this time, Landon. A win here could still impress, though. For the record, you were originally booked in the ME in a non-title match against Toxxic, but then I realized that Toxxic was not able to be booked and we had an ME already planned. But yeah, sorry it's not a title match, I just sort of forgot to even think about that, and I'd feel kind of weird changing the match now that I have.

Guest Tonights Highlite
Posted

Floundering = me?

 

Allow me to officially say, 'not any more'. Internet is finally, somewhat stable. The creative juices are flowing and I'll not be no-showing this match.

 

P.S. I won't impress, if I get a win here TNT?

Posted
So...is my match for the title or not?

Not this time, Landon. A win here could still impress, though. For the record, you were originally booked in the ME in a non-title match against Toxxic, but then I realized that Toxxic was not able to be booked and we had an ME already planned. But yeah, sorry it's not a title match, I just sort of forgot to even think about that, and I'd feel kind of weird changing the match now that I have.

It's no problem at all...especially as the stip isn't in my favour. Just double-checking more than anything because there was nothing about 'Non Title' on the description.

Posted
For the record, you were originally booked in the ME in a non-title match against Toxxic

That's a damn money match - two of the top heels in the fed? i'm thinking that has to be PPV. No way do we give the humanoids that much reason to hate two wrestlers for free.

Posted

Hey, at least it didn't happen. More by luck than judgement, still, but never mind.

 

 

I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, LANDON...

 

*strokes white cat with metal hand*

Posted

Landon, if you really want I can drive the 100-ish miles to your house and drench you in the stuff. Now shut up, COUNTRY TRAITOR!

Posted (edited)

*drinks his Starbucks*

 

...I can't believe I paid $5 for this.

 

 

 

And hey, I guess in real wrestling heel vs. heel = sheer death, but as far as the SWF goes there have been many, MANY "money" evil on evil matches in the past, so the heel vs. heel thing really wouldn't stop me. It especially won't stop me at the PPV. :P

 

EDIT: *looks over card* In hindsight though, this card IS rather heel vs. heel heavy.

 

Uhhh... Thoth did it.

Edited by 5_moves_of_doom
Posted

Incidently, since I BROKE THE CURSE~! of the SWF Title, I call opening promo. Prepare for an announcement that will rock the fed to its core and pave the way for a new era of opportunity.

 

Alternatively, I might gloat for five minutes. We'll just have to see.

Posted

Judge, I know you're looking at this and I love you, man, but if I don't get stats for your guy soon, he's going to be wearing a worm costume to the ring, and I'll be doing a prematch vignette where the Birdman eats him.

 

Thanks.

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