rising up out of the back seat-nuh Posted January 2, 2005 Report Posted January 2, 2005 In a pre-meditated fight to the death, with no weapons of any kind, how many average domestic cats would it take to kill an average man?
{''({o..o})''} Posted January 2, 2005 Report Posted January 2, 2005 Would no weapons of any kind count natural weapons?
rising up out of the back seat-nuh Posted January 2, 2005 Author Report Posted January 2, 2005 Would no weapons of any kind count natural weapons? No weapons either man made or natural. It must be a fair fight between naked man and naked cat. To the death.
rising up out of the back seat-nuh Posted January 2, 2005 Author Report Posted January 2, 2005 -4 Are you suggesting that the combined might of four cats has the power to raise the dead?
{''({o..o})''} Posted January 2, 2005 Report Posted January 2, 2005 Would using a cat to club other cats be allowed? Also, what is the environment involved? That does have a huge impact on the amount of cats that would be needed.
rising up out of the back seat-nuh Posted January 2, 2005 Author Report Posted January 2, 2005 The environment is a vast open fild on a nice summers day. Not too hot, not too dry. And using a cat to swat other cats away would be acceptable, howeve it would be easier to kict the bastards. You should rethink your potential policy in case of future gang cat attack.
{''({o..o})''} Posted January 2, 2005 Report Posted January 2, 2005 Ok, the first 10 or so cats would go down before any real injury has occured. Sooner or later an attack by the cats would be able to injure the lower leg enough that one or maybe even both achilles tendons are damaged. That sets up at about 30 cats so far. Using a cat as a spinning club would take out a decent amount of cats, but it would be necesary to get a replacement cat due to tail snapage. Once that occurs, the loss of blood so far and the lack of weapon would allow the cats to start attacking places higher on the body. Rolling then would be used to try to kill cats that way, but you would end up hitting the pile of dead cats and be unable to roll further, sealing the loss, when the cats are then free to rip you apart. Total cats needed, 84.
rising up out of the back seat-nuh Posted January 2, 2005 Author Report Posted January 2, 2005 I think you underestimate the tactical nous of the average cat Pissblock. The scenario you describes is dependant on all the cats attacking in waves. A much more likely prospect is the cats surrounding the naked man and attacking both on the ground and via the medium of jump. I think Deon's closer. It's very difficult to kill a motivated cat.
{''({o..o})''} Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 Average domestic cats, you said. If we're talking alleycats, the number is reduced greatly. I also factored in the playful aspect of the cats, making the human thinks he has a better chance than he really does by sending out the fodder to start. And really, cat's natural arrogance will cause them to underestimate the human anyway.
rising up out of the back seat-nuh Posted January 3, 2005 Author Report Posted January 3, 2005 Average domestic cats, so long as they aware that it is a fight to the death, have the facility to arrange a sophisticated battle plan at very short notice. I stand by my point.
{''({o..o})''} Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 They may have the ability to set up the attack plan, but they won't be able to carry it out correctly due to the lack of discipline caused by a pampered lifestyle.
Boner Kawanger Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 I think I could take a gang of cats. God, I'm so pumped. This thread has got me pumped up.
Murmuring Beast Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 HOW MANY POSTERS DOES IT TAKE TO WASTE BANDWIDTH?
Guest Vitamin X Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 1, really. All it takes is a well-placed claw to the jugular.
Matt Young Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 This is the funniest thread I have seen in a while, thanks mostly to Piss. Tit must also get cerdit for the idea. Heh. Piss and Tit.
rising up out of the back seat-nuh Posted January 3, 2005 Author Report Posted January 3, 2005 It would have to take more than one cat. If I knew I was in a fight to the death with a cat, I wouldn't let it get anywhere near my throat. I'd kick the fuck out of the little shit before it could get there. Maybe it would take two if one could provide an extremely good distraction, but even then I doubt it.
rising up out of the back seat-nuh Posted January 3, 2005 Author Report Posted January 3, 2005 They may have the ability to set up the attack plan, but they won't be able to carry it out correctly due to the lack of discipline caused by a pampered lifestyle. The prospect of a fight to the death with a naked man is enough to give discipline to even the most pampered cats.
PLAGIARISM! Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 Possibly two, if you didn't know the second one was coming.
DCMaximo Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 I'd go for 5. One from the front, acting as a sacrifical lamb, two from the sides who cause general scratches to the leg and arms, the fourth cat attacks from behind while you're unaware, disorientating the victim, cat number 5 gets the jugular. Voila, a cat victory.
Cuban Linx Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 Very few, as an average naked man would be too occupied protecting his exposed genitals from cat claw/bite to effectively fight off more than a couple at once.
{''({o..o})''} Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 Ah, I miss the days when Piss and Chave were in their relative posting primes.
kkktookmybabyaway Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 Depends if the kitties are pissed off or not. Also, are the cats fixed?...
Boner Kawanger Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 Very few, as an average naked man would be too occupied protecting his exposed genitals from cat claw/bite to effectively fight off more than a couple at once. Excellent point.
Special K Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 People seem to take it for granted that a housecat can rip out a man's jugular easily. Their mouths aren't that big. On the other hand, killing a cat is likely not as simple as kicking it. They are tough and flexible little guys. It would take a large number of cats to kill a man. Death is likely going to come from bleeding. If they get you down though, they would probably take out your eyes. ^^ However if it's a tiger bred with a lion for its skills in magic, you're screwed.
rising up out of the back seat-nuh Posted January 3, 2005 Author Report Posted January 3, 2005 Ah, I miss the days when Piss and Chave were in their relative posting primes. True.
Art Sandusky Posted January 3, 2005 Report Posted January 3, 2005 ^^ However if it's a tiger bred with a lion for its skills in magic, you're screwed. Oh Christ.
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