SWF Lockdown Card - 11/30/05

[the.weej 0]

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents

SWF FAMILY FRIENDLY LOCKDOWN! LIVE, WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 30th FROM THE SOLD OUT AIR CANADA CENTRE IN TORONTO, ONTARIO!

 

Well, Joe P is really pissed off this time. After last week's Lockdown debacle, and the cancellation of several key sponsorship deals, da boss is taking no chances and making no exceptions. The rules of this week's Family Friendly Lockdown are going to be extra family friendly, and EXTRA militantly enforced! In addition to the "softer" match stips, and the usual rules, the following moves have been OUTLAWED by order of the commissioner's office!

- Sleeper holds

- Headlocks

- Low blows

- Any drops to the head or back of the neck

- Any and all blows to the face

- Repeated moves to one area of the body - cheap shots!

- Moves from the top rope

- Forcible exiting of the ring over the top rope

Additionally, referees have discretion to issue warnings and outright disqualifications for any actions they percieve to be slights or otherwise unfair. Failure to shake hands at the beginning of a match is an immediate DQ!

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

MAIN EVENT

SINGLES MATCH

"Urban Legend" Todd Cortez vs Wildchild

SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: El Luchadore Magnifico

In preperation for his title shot against El Luchadore Magnifico, Todd Cortez faces off against his tag partner at the last PPV, Wildchild, in a fair, sportsmanlike contest! An idea setting for Cortez to test his mettle and Wildchild to cool down in, after getting put through a table on Storm and being read the riot act by Johnny Dangerous. And who better, of course, than the World Champion himself to make sure the match remains fair and balanced?

Rules: Standard singles match with Family Friendly rules - and you can be sure that Magnifico will enforce them to the letter. ELM can write if he so wishes to.

Word Limit: 5500

Marker: chirs3

 

TAG TEAM MATCH

TKO vs Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix and Jay Hawke

It's a new Landon! With new moves, new hair, and a tutor that's intent on keeping an eye on him, Maddix and Hawke relive their match at Ashes to Ashes against the reigning tag champs, hoping for different, and hoping that Landon can put his best foot forward! Even better, in a much more... restrained... enviroment than their PPV contest.

Rules: Tag team match with family friendly rules.

Word Limit: 4500

Marker: Justice

 

PILLOW FIGHT MATCH

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs Ebony

After the beating recieved at the hands of the World Champ, Spike now recieves a "softer" match to rest his wounds. And what softer opponent than the "cute and cuddly" Ebony?

Rules: There are pillows scattered outside the ring - whomever hits their opponent with one 10 times wins. Nightgowns are optional.

Word Limit: 2000

Marker: janusd

 

HOSTAGE MATCH

Wes Davenport (as Dax Ryder) vs Johnny Dangerous

A hostage, you say? On Family Friendly Lockdown!? Pish-posh, merely a bit of wholesome suspense! Returning to a role demanded by absoutely no-one, Wes Davenport should find this match premise familiar as he reprises his role as secret agent Dax Ryder from his direct-to-video hit "The Carnival Ryde". In this epic film, Ryder attempted to rescue his kidnapped partner Quayle (Andrew Shue) from rogue CIA agent Al Donahue (Michael Rooker), while dealing with the emotional drama in the resurfacing of his estranged ex-wife Shelly (Shannon Tweed). In this case, the hostage in question is the soon-to-be James Bond Daniel Craig, a man whose part Wes would kill to have, and his opponent would also, presumably, kill to have. Because who better to portray a rogue agent than our very own Johnny Dangerous? Sadly, there is no-one who can replicate Shannon Tweed's breasts. Still, can Johnny give a convincing preformance in his acting debut, or will Wes Davenport enjoy the only successful sequel he's ever made?

Rules: Daniel Craig is tied to a chair somewhere in the arena with a "bomb" strapped to him. Wes must beat Johnny to Daniel to deactivate it, whereas Johnny must detonate it. Don't worry, though! The "bomb" is filled with bio-degradable, enviromentally friendly Gak™. If nobody reaches Daniel before the time limit expires (10:00), the "bomb" will go off and Johnny will be awareded a default victory.

Word Limit: 5500

Marker: realitycheck

 

SINGLES MATCH

Stryke vs Manson

It's a match FOR THE AGES! Dating back to the era of the Junior Leagues, and countless times I'm sure in the SWF, Stryke and Manson once more settle down to do big battel! In a nice, friendly, sportsman like singles match atmosphere, of course. Will MANSONOSITY be unleashed on yet another unsuspecting victim on Family Friendly Lockdown!? Tune in to find out!

Rules: Singles match with Family Friendly rules.

Word Limit: 4000

Marker: chris3

 

OPENING PROMO: Unclaimed.

 

(Send all promos and marked matches to Justice)

(Notes: Bear in mind that I haven't booked in over a year, so try to excuse any retread matches. I did the best I could with what I knew and with what Raynor and Judge have told me. Any and all criticisms may be directed at my pants.)

Edited November 26, 2005 by realitycheck

[chirs3 0]

Best.

 

Family Friendly Lockdown.

 

EVER.

 

Card of the Year, right here.

[Bruce Blank 0]

LOL this is awesome stuff - and with the added rules I'm almost glad I'm barred from the show

 

*thumbs up* this should be funny stuff

[JJ Johnson 0]

Your pants shall feel the full brunt of my wrath for leaving me off the card in Toronto!

 

 

Even if the rules DO cancel out my entire moveset! Bah!

[Bruce Blank 0]

I just noticed - The Toronto Air Canada center sold out?

 

to who? United Airlines? (You sold out!! You sold out!! )

[Golgo 13 0]

We've faced each other approximately once in the SWF, I think. And this takes away so much of my moveset.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Note to TKO...don't worry about a new moveset just yet, as I'm not quite done with promos.

 

Infact, consider the Family Friendly crap, I don't know exactly what you CAN write me to do, so just do whatever. Jay, I hope you have some idea of how to get around these rules and actually write a wrestling match, because I certainly don't.

[muzz 0]

This should be a lot of fun. Kudos to the booking team for my match, looks well-thought out.

[Toxxic 0]

Ditto to Landon. My moveset works on top rope moves, low blows, strikes (to the same area of the body) and questionable tactics such as throwing someone over the top rope, with the occasional headdrop. I got nothing.

 

I can get around Family Friendly rules by cheating out of sight of the referee, but in a match where all my rules are outlawed... unless Card distracts the ref the whole time, it's just not going to happen.

[Cuban Linx 0]

I dig the special rules, should be a fun challenge to work with as i'm yet another guy with a mostly high-flying and head-dropping moveset. Provided i actually write. Which i will. Hopefully.

 

And strangely enough Manson and myself haven't faced off more than 4 or so times ever, despite joining within a week of each other and both being around reasonably regularly for i think 4 years now.

[the.weej 0]

The top rope is illegal, but nobody said anything about the second rope. Does the rope refer to springboards or the turnbuckle exclusively? Behold the power of SEMANTICS.

 

I'll admit that I made these rules partially because I know what the dominant style is (and has been) in the fed for ages. I'm curious to see how everyone deals with it. Once again, my pants will readily accept any complaints you happen to have.

 

-Z

[Bruce Blank 0]

I'll admit that I made these rules partially because I know what the dominant style is (and has been) in the fed for ages. I'm curious to see how everyone deals with it.

Well not everyone

 

*smirks* no need to thank me for the stricter rules guys - it was my pleasure

[janusd 0]

....you actually went and did it.

 

Ahahahahahahaha.

 

[Toxxic 0]

Tell you what then Zed - when we both no-show, you make sure to write a 4500 match using our movesets and in keeping with our characters, but still adhering to your Family Friendly rules.

 

I'll be intrigued to see it. Learn from the master so I know what to do next time, that sort of thing

[JHawk 0]

Could I have an explanation as to why in the hell a headlock isn't "family friendly".

 

Jesus, it's the Arch Griffon feud all over again.

[JJ Johnson 0]

Because they're boring, that's why. Gotta entertain the kids.

[Bruce Blank 0]

Tell you what then Zed - when we both no-show, you make sure to write a 4500 match using our movesets and in keeping with our characters, but still adhering to your Family Friendly rules.

Oh bu and hu about the rules

 

it takes a bit of creativity but it's not like it can't be done and still be entertaining

 

And yes easy for me to say right? so how about a Family Friendly Rules preview match

 

Bruce Blank Vs ... erm someone - pick a guy someone and and I'll whip up a match before Wednsday, it's not THAT hard - although from the wailing and gnashing of teeth you'd think it was the end of the world as we know it

 

weiners

[JJ Johnson 0]

Bruce Blank vs. JJ Johnson in a "Too Violent for Lockdown" dark match. You know you love it.

[Bruce Blank 0]

Bruce Blank vs. JJ Johnson in a "Too Violent for Lockdown" dark match. You know you love it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh you know I would - and yes after our last match I'm pretty sure we'd be too violent for Lockdown

 

but that'd go against my point I am going to write a Bruce Blank match WITHIN the "Family Friendly Delux" rules - it's not that hard with a little imagination

 

Bruce Blank Vs "A Cruiserweight" - just to go with the Open Cruiserweight Challenge and all

 

Name a guy and I'll write a match and post it here before the Wednsday deadline, call it a "super-duper dark match" that's actually done on the house show before Lockdow

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Jesus Christ...

 

 

 

 

All right. I need Ebony stats or something.

[JJ Johnson 0]

Sent.

[Secret Agent 0]

I must have missed something on this Wes Davenport charater. I'm guessing there is a real actor with that name that starred in this D-T-V movie you're talking about, Lord Zed?

[the.weej 0]

Incorrect, I made it all up on the fly. It is, essentially, little more than a really verbose description for a dumb stipulation. Just the same, I wanted to see Wes in a silly match.

 

I can't fathom what is difficult about a match without head drops, punches to the face and headlocks. Come on, you're not convincing me.

 

-Z

[Golgo 13 0]

At least allow forearms to the face.

 

But for now I plan to chop Stryke's neck and chest into oblivion, and I guess I can always use 'safe' versions of some moves.

[chirs3 0]

From what I can tell, the following are still legal:

 

-- Strikes to anywhere except the face, so even the back of the head is fair game.

-- Slams and drops that target the back, chest, legs, arms, etc. You can probably get away with most suplexes.

-- Springboard anything, and second-rope anything.

-- Dropkicks.

-- ARM BAR

-- Submissions (minus Sleeper holds)

-- Drop toe holds.

-- Small packages.

-- Back rakes.

 

And probably more that I can't think of at the moment.

[Cuban Linx 0]

I shall defeat Manson with a 4000 rotation Airplane Spin.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

...I haven't seen a SWF card in a while...

 

...And so I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.

 

But I'm still amused, somehow.

[Ace309 0]

Arm bar.

[King Cucaracha 0]

From what I can tell, the following are still legal:

 

-- Strikes to anywhere except the face, so even the back of the head is fair game.

-- Slams and drops that target the back, chest, legs, arms, etc. You can probably get away with most suplexes.

-- Springboard anything, and second-rope anything.

-- Dropkicks.

-- ARM BAR

-- Submissions (minus Sleeper holds)

-- Drop toe holds.

-- Small packages.

-- Back rakes.

 

And probably more that I can't think of at the moment.

 

Yes, but you can't work bodyparts, so you have to alternate. What consitutes working a bodypart? Two consecutive backbreakers? Three? Plus you just KNOW someone will bitch that a back suplex is a neck bump not a back bump, or chopping someone in the chest repeatedly (as my match is no doubt going to resort to) is 'working over a bodypart, i.e the chest.

 

On a related note, I volunteer to be the first to rip Bruce's match to shreds for breaking rules.

 

I don't like the rules, but I'll try and write through it. I worked it out and at least 95% of my moveset is off bounds. So if it gets too hard...well, let's just say, my OAOAST match for the week won't have rules that make writing a chore.

[Bruce Blank 0]

On a related note, I volunteer to be the first to rip Bruce's match to shreds for breaking rules.

Go for it, there will not be any moves breaking the rules - except when the referee isn't looking

 

In my book "working over a body part" is 3 or more moves to the same bodypart in succession (so basically 3 backgreakers is bad but 2 backbreakers followed by 2 shoulder breakers followed by dropping someone chest first onto the top turnbuckle is okay - even if they all work the upper torso technically) - at least that's how I'll write it after all it says "No repeated moves to any part of the body" it doesn't actually say you can't work over the arm with 3-4 different moves as long as you mix it up

 

Of course submission holds aren't "working a body part" either, for instance if you keep a Fujiwara Armbar on for 5 minutes straight - that's just a submission hold