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Matt Young

Need more funny stories/quotes

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I've read the DVDVR Urban Legends of Professional Wrestling list and the memorable WCW quotes from the Observer. Can someone direct me to more funny or in any way entertaining shit?

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Guest Arnold_OldSchool

Abby the Butcher is working face in Puerto Rico right now at 60+ years old. When he wins he dances in the ring to James Brown's "Living in America"

 

 

Read it in the observer or something....this week

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Guest Arnold_OldSchool

Killer Kahn: Was one of the big star's in my early career with New Japan. The company sent him to work in Mexico and the States, while he was in Florida he met an American girl who tricked him into marrying her. She took him to city hall knowing his English wasn't good and told him to say yes to everything he was asked and before he knew it he was married.

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during the end of his career Andre the Giant worked a tag match down in Mexico where one of the opponents was Bad News Brown. Andre was drunk as a skunk during the match and sometime during it went to do the running squat on Brown's chest. The only problem was that when he did it he lost control of his bowels and covered Brown in diahrea.

 

That's the one that always comes to mind when people ask about funny wrestling stories.

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Here's quite possibly the dumbest wrestling quote ever:

 

BG James: "This is for all of you who are politically correct. This won't be a gay bashing. I'm about to beat the hell out of a faggot!"

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Guest Arnold_OldSchool

Ted Dibiase's collapse caused issues back stage. People were pissed it got leaked to the internet. Who broke the story? WWE.com

 

From WON in Jan 06

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Abby the Butcher is working face in Puerto Rico right now at 60+ years old. When he wins he dances in the ring to James Brown's "Living in America"

 

 

Read it in the observer or something....this week

awesome

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during the end of his career Andre the Giant worked a tag match down in Mexico where one of the opponents was Bad News Brown. Andre was drunk as a skunk during the match and sometime during it went to do the running squat on Brown's chest. The only problem was that when he did it he lost control of his bowels and covered Brown in diahrea.

Never heard that one before, but on a similar note, Andre used to do a stinkface type manouver. Apparently, if he was pissed with the guy / didn't like him, he'd let one rip right into their face.

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I've read the DVDVR Urban Legends of Professional Wrestling list and the memorable WCW quotes from the Observer. Can someone direct me to more funny or in any way entertaining shit?

 

I saw that over @ smarkschoice...some of the funniest shit I've read in a LONG time...I started not to feel sorry for WCW anymore after reading that list...it's obvious they were the ones with the shovel...

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^ Supposedly, Psycho Sid shitted in his pants during his WM 13 match.

 

Another funny story I remember reading was that Todd Pettengill got fired from the WWF because he said Chyna was a man.

 

"Bret Hart came out for an interview. With no programs to talk about, he mainly talked about his cat. He was becoming target practice, and told Gene Okerlund that those cups (being thrown) are being aimed at him" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: December 14, 1998

 

LOL, WTF? Is this true?!!

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In a storyline for WWC. Carlito is trying to buy WWC from Victor Jovica for his father carlos.

 

I know someone made a website of the Urban Legends post. I'll try to find it.

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This is by Dusty Wolfe-from the oldschool-wrestling.com site. I think most everyone knows who Troy Martin is, if not I won't say as it will take away from the story.

 

When I wrote the story on Puerto Rico, I remembered a story about a 19 year old by the name of Troy Martin. Troy came down for a 2 week run. Straight out of Afa's school. This was pretty common in those days. An oldtimer would have someone he wanted to get experience. The territory wouldn't have a full time spot. But they could fit the kid in while someone was hurt or overseas. Now a little background info to set the stage. We lived in the Tanama Hotel. This was a 5 star hotel. In the days of Herbert Hoover. But it gave us a clean place to sleep and hang our clothes. We had a phone at the end of the hall. And a black and white TV in the lobby. The Tanama sat 1 block off the Condado. This is a major street in San Juan. Runs parallel to the beach. And is a homosexual haven of the western world. For some reason, sex change operations were very cheap in those days in San Juan. And I'll let you go from there on what a Saturday night looked like on the Condado. Tommy Lane and I had to have a place to unwind. We found Elizabeth's. Elizabeth's was store front on the Condado.

 

Down a long hall into the bar. We would go every night and drink 10oz $1 Medalla beer. We would take whatever we were willing to spend and drink until we ran out of money. And then go back to the hotel. Which was fairly easy. The Tanama sat at the bottom of a hill. We knew all the regulars. And most every night we played cribbage while we drank. If they were slow we'd play Freddy, the bartender for beer. And he was a horrible cribbage player.

 

The one regular we saw nearly every night was Christine. She? was an ex Marine that was halfway home on her sex change. About 6'2". Long bleached blond hair. A true sight. I'm sure you can figure which half wasn't complete. Now back to Troy. After the first week he decided to go with me and Tommy to Elizabeth's. We had Little Coco with us. That's the night I mailed him. God bless his soul. And a story for another day. Troy had so much fun, he insisted on going again the next night. This was a Saturday.

 

And this 19 year old had never seen anything like the Condado at 1 in the morning. We made it to Elizabeth's and began having a few sociables. About 3 in the morning, Christine walked in with 3 friends. The bar was only big enough for about 15 people, so everybody was on top on each other. Troy had his beer goggles on. In the dark. At about 3am. And thought Christine looked great. So being the gentlemen we are, Tommy and I made the proper introductions. The new couple seemed to hit it off just fine. Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" started to play on the old Wurlizter. Christine couldn't help herself and got up to dance. And Troy was hypnotized. Until Christine pulled up her skirt. She had her back to us, but we could see Troy. His face went from pure pleasure to pure terror in about .06 seconds. Troy ran out the door screaming something. Tommy and me still try to figure out what he was saying. And Troy refused to answer his door until sometime Mon. afternoon. He would yell at us to go away. He just knew we had Christine with us. We tried taking Troy out again before he left. But for some reason, he refused.

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Guest Arnold_OldSchool

In Aug 1985 Buddy Roberts got off a plane in Isreal, on a WCCW tour...awaiting him is a crowd of 30,000 fans and a slew of armed guards. Buddy is drunk as a skunk and the 1st thing he does is shout "You sons of bitches killed Jesus!"

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Guest Arnold_OldSchool

Terry Funk says that back in the 70's Dick Murdoch had his 6 year old son running around drinking beer from a straw.

 

Murdoch just said "That's my boy!"

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I don't know if this is true or not, but its fucking funny either way:

 

The most famous Warrior-in-WCW story was when Warrior, Curt Hennig, and Scott Norton had to hide under the ring all night. The lads were waiting for their angle, and a bucket had been strategically placed under the ring with them in case of “emergency.” The emergency bucket came in handy for Hennig, who took a large dump in it. Rumors that the incident was triggered when Hennig heard a rap song are unsubstantiated. There’s not a lot of room under those rings, so you have to be impressed with the flexibility of Hennig. It was easily the most athletic feat accomplished by the former/future “Mr. Perfect” in his entire three-year WCW career. Upon getting a whiff, Warrior vomited, which was easily the most athletic feat accomplished by HIM in his entire three-month WCW career.

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Guest Arnold_OldSchool

2 gems from Herb Adams UWF:

 

Herb held a press conference to announce the UWF in 1990. At the press conference he declared that Bruiser Brody would be his booker and Adrian Adonis would be an active wrestler. nevermind that both had been dead for 3 years.

 

 

Mando Gurrero's theme music was actually "Taco Grande" from Weird Al

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I don't know if this is true or not, but its fucking funny either way:

 

The most famous Warrior-in-WCW story was when Warrior, Curt Hennig, and Scott Norton had to hide under the ring all night. The lads were waiting for their angle, and a bucket had been strategically placed under the ring with them in case of “emergency.” The emergency bucket came in handy for Hennig, who took a large dump in it. Rumors that the incident was triggered when Hennig heard a rap song are unsubstantiated. There’s not a lot of room under those rings, so you have to be impressed with the flexibility of Hennig. It was easily the most athletic feat accomplished by the former/future “Mr. Perfect” in his entire three-year WCW career. Upon getting a whiff, Warrior vomited, which was easily the most athletic feat accomplished by HIM in his entire three-month WCW career.

 

I've heard that story so many times, and it's too damn funny to be untrue :D .

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