SWF Lockdown Card - 06/03/29

[the.weej 0]

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...
SWF LOCKDOWN!
Live, Wednesday, March 29th from the SOLD OUT Mississippi Coast Colliseum in Biloxi, Mississippi!
(6pm PST, 10pm EST; check local listings)

The Hell or High Water deep fried, deep south tour continues, with a stop over in the hardest state to spell in the Union! Eat your heart out, Massachusetts. After Storm, the pieces are in place for a veeeeery interesting set of matches here on Lockdown, including the long awaited Bruce Blank/Insane Luchador matchup, and what promises to be one of the biggest and best television main events in a long, long time! Also, the tag team champions, Michael Cross and Akira Kaibatsu defend their belts, and will the holder of the second most pretigious belt in the SWF, Wildchild, make an appearance?

Plus, the Replacement Commentator contest continues, featuring alongside the Suicide King for this show, the Canadian Intelligence Agent himself, CIA!

MAIN EVENT
WORLD TITLE MATCH
LAST MAN STANDING
Wes Davenport© vs Jay Hawke
->Is it possible that Wes Davenport is a better actor than anyone imagined? Although his Clusterfuck, and subsequent world title, victory remain among the greatest upsets of all time, an ominous interaction with Tom Flesher on Storm has alludes to the fact Wes may have been in control of his own destiny much more than anyone believed. If that's true, then he's going to have to show it here: Jay Hawke, coming off the most mammoth title reign in SWF history, has now been given the opportunity to reach the very top of the mountain. And aw, fuck it, both men's sly, cunning and skill will be pushed to the limit in the SWF's marquee stipulation.
Rules: The winner is the man who is unable to answer a 10 count when thrown to the ground. There are no conventional DQ or countout rules; anything is legal in order to keep your opponent down.
Word Limit: 6500
Send To: Justice

HARDCORE TITLE MATCH
BARB WIRE CAGE
Bruce Blank© vs Insane Luchador
->Bruce Blank and Andrew Rickmen have been building up to this one for a while. At long last, they throw down in match of titanic proportions. It's the Unmoveable Object versus the Unstoppa... er... Irresis... Moderate Velocity Force. Dig it. Check the new stip out. Bad medicine.
Rules: A 15ft cage entierly wrapped in barbed wire will be present over the ring for this match. The winner, I guess, is whoever is brave or stupid enough to try to climb out.
Word Limit: 6000
Send To: chirs3

TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
TAG TEAM BOUT
The Asian Underground© vs JJ Johnson & Manson
->JJ Johnson, back in action, dropped a deuce on David Cross in his last outing, and now faces off in an unusual matchup: Against the Asian Underground, in their first defense of the tag team titles. But who, of all people, could JJ stand to tag with? Edward James comes to mind, but he was unavaliable, so the always avaliable, ever amicable Manson slides in, hoping to duplicate his tag team success alongside Jimmy the Doom with an equally random partner. And what of that whole security thing? Well, JJ's working on it. I'm sure.
Rules: Standard tag team match. Remeber the tag ropes.
Word Limit: 5000
Send To: realitycheck

SINGLES MATCH
Christian Fury vs Amy Stephens
->Christian Fury has been ice cold since the Lethal Lottery, yet to notch a win since the tournament. If he happened to have gotten one since then, I think it all goes to illustrate a point: I still don't pay any fucking attention. But it's likely nobody else noticed as well. Here he takes on Amy Stephens, who was nearly killed by a rogue meteorite on the last show during her tag team match. Stephens has looked good, occasionally even inside the ring, and both competitors look to build new momentum in singles competition.
Rules: Standard singles match.
Word Limit: 4500
Send To: Evolution

SINGLES MATCH
OPENING BOUT
David Cross vs Matt "The Cosplayer" Myers
->In his recent return to the SWF, David Cross has had to endure a two match slide. Against the SWF's official punching bag, Matt Myers, he seeks to turn it around. That shouldn't be hard. Beware the marker if it is.
Rules: Standard singles match.
Word Limit: 3500
Send To: janusd

(Send all promos/marked matches to Justice)

Edited March 25, 2006 by realitycheck

[Toxxic 0]

Fury, do you have any problems with hitting girls? I hope not, for your sake.

 

We should have had Andrea Montgomery as guest commentator, this is her hometown after all. And may I just say that Wes vs Hawke = MONEY.

[Bruce Blank 0]

The Ultraviolent title match will indeed be a Barbwire cage match - and not your WWE/WCW wimpy "wrapping the top" version

 

all of the cage is wrapped in barbwire *ouch*

 

and note: so Wildchild's title is the second most prestigious? I'm surprised that you guys would put World at 3rd.

 

I mean then it'd go

 

1) Ultraviolent

2) International

3) World

4) Cruiserweight

5) Doomtopian

 

*LOL*

[Golgo 13 0]

lawl Mastodon

[Vasarian_Brandy 0]

(Eyes the card)

 

Aww, crap.

 

Toxx... Yeah, he'll have a bit of issue. Probably until the point that she starts whomping on him, then he'll snap out of it.

 

I'll probably have a promo coming up real quick that'll give an insight into how he's feeling about this matchup.

 

And, I have to ask...

 

If he happened to have gotten one since then, I think it all goes to illustrate a point: I still don't pay any fucking attention. But it's likely nobody else noticed as well.

 

What in the name of Crapful Crap is all that supposed to mean?

[Bruce Blank 0]

Now I'm just guessing here but my expertise of pulling stuff from my ass leads me to think that he's saying

 

He has short attention span and so do most other people here in the fed so they probably mainly remeber their own matchs and "select highlights" from past shows

 

(At least that's one "spin" on it)

[the.weej 0]

I'm saying that I don't pay any attention.

 

I'm also saying that nobody pays attention to Fury.

 

Shame, SWF. Shame.

 

-Z

[Bruce Blank 0]

Hey he did get the majority of the prediction votes

 

from all 3 of us I think

[Bruce Blank 0]

And once again I'm left wondering

 

Beyond the "aboots" and "ehs?" what makes CIA stand out as a character? or do I just dig down deep and break out the maple syrup drinking stereotypes of a man and his beaver?

 

That could actually be funny

 

I don't even know if CIA is comedy or serious or seriously comedic

 

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

CIA once jobbed me to a backslide.

[Bruce Blank 0]

What are you talking about ”jobbed”?? that’s classic Flair Vs Von Erich territory right there

 

I got a question – since he’s a try out for new commentator character he doesn’t necessarily have to be true to the original in every way right? I mean Comet & Riley evolved and we all gave Pete certain “JR’esque” qualities as a commentator.

 

So my question is – can I just make up something in regards to CIA just to make him stand out as an announcer character?

 

Like say since he left the SWF CIA has been involved in a blood feud with the entire French-Canadian population of Quebec and by proxy France (they’re not true Canadians damn it!) so much so that he tends to throw in jabs at them, compare stuff that’s wrong or bad to them and so on. Or in fact have him talk about “Monsiur Le France” who’s out to get him and desperate to take over CIA’s position (sort of a French-Canadian “Mr. America” you know?)

 

I mean so far all I’ve gotten done is “Annie is a lesbo and King makes fun of that” and the show before it was “Aussie Axis” – but otherwise totally generic commentary, I feel like experimenting a little this week if that’s not frowned upon

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

The match was about 500 words. It was pretty much CIA kicking Spike in the nuts, the bell ringing, and CIA getting a backslide.

 

 

An SJL World Title defense.

[Bruce Blank 0]

Alright yes THAT is a jobbing I'll give you that

 

Then again every "job" is a missed opportunity as some... fat... chinese fry cook around the corner said when I went to pick up some chop suey late one night.

 

Yeah think about THAT! Chinese food after 11 PM

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

.......

[Bruce Blank 0]

That's what I'm saying

 

after ELEVEN PEE.M.

 

[the.weej 0]

I meant to dig up some Annie promos last week, but didn't. Here's a bit of CIA stuff:

 

His debut promo

One of his few SWF promos

His SJL world title losing match

And his SJL world title winning match

 

And of course, his stats are linked in the card. As you can imagine, CIA hasn't been active for a while. Bruce, there's no problem playing around with the commentators like that, especially with new characters; this is why we've brought them in, so you can mess around and see what works the best, as long as it isn't too ridiculous. Hopefully the material I've linked helps everybody out.

 

-Z

[JHawk 0]

Bruce, I love your character and all, but what in the blue hell are you talking about?

[Smartly Pretty 0]

I think the Clysedales did a lot of celebrating with Buce on his title defense. I'm lost too, man

 

Or does Bruce drink some other beer? SPECULATION FOREVER

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

These last two hardcore (sorta house rules) matches haven't been as awesome as they could have been. The one in LSU should have taken place inside Mike the bengal tiger's cage (With Mike inside as well). The Biloxi match should involve all of the fucking debris that is still there and nobody is doing a damn to clean up.

 

Also, if a show takes place in Memphis before the PPV, the hardcore match (Should Bruce happen to retain) should be a brawl in Graceland.

[zyon 0]

Well I guess I'll call opening promo...since it seems I have to book myself now a days.

[Bruce Blank 0]

Bruce, I love your character and all, but what in the blue hell are you talking about?

Considering I say some weird off the wall stuff you may just have to be more specific

 

Do you mean the CIA comments? I just asked if I could add something to the character that may not have been part of the original active character.

 

erm if it was something else . . . I dunno yet

[Bruce Blank 0]

Please ignore this post I'm being a retarded retard

 

and I aplogize for putting retards down by comparing them to me.

[Guest OKCoyote]

Zyon, I'm not booked either. Want a match?

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

The Biloxi match should involve all of the fucking debris that is still there and nobody is doing a damn to clean up.

Well I will aspire to live up to your high standards although I do believe that the SWF crew has swept debir out of the ring before the cage is errected.

 

I'm referring to the wreckage in the city of Biloxi from Katrina. Shit's still fucked up in places down there.

 

However, a friend in that area recently mentioned that the Coast Colliseum is operational.

[Bruce Blank 0]

I totally and completly read your comments wrong and I apologize for my snipes, I think it's past my bed time and I will head off before making an even BIGGER ass of myself.

 

Just how fucked was Biloxi? on a scale of 1 to 10 (where 10 is nothing but debris)

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

Well, I haven't been back, but I've got numerous friends and relatives that have, and they say there's a lot of stuff just strewn about, with many roads detoured (That could be around bad wreckage, or for the benefit of people rebuilding). I've seen a few pictures of bad spots, but, as I previously mentioned, the colliseum is working, so it's not just a ghost town.

 

None of the casinos are up, though. I state that because a lot of people thought the first thing to come back would be the casinos (Just like people saying that if New Orleans had Mardi Gras, things would be okay), however, friends and relatives are saying that the riverboat owners are trying to entice the folk in Las Vegas to buy.

 

Also: Bruce, I wasn't trying to be a jerk-store myself with what I said earlier, so don't sweat it too much. Besides, what could possibly happen that would warrant a lot of stuff in the ring between the start of the show and your match? Besides JJ's 'collapsing roof then super-quick rebuild' spot he never used against IL.

 

BLARG to the GLORK

[zyon 0]

Coyote I'll pass, thanks though. I have a couple others things to do on the show.

[chirs3 0]

These last two hardcore (sorta house rules) matches haven't been as awesome as they could have been. The one in LSU should have taken place inside Mike the bengal tiger's cage (With Mike inside as well).

 

My original plan for the LSU House Rules was a "First to get mauled by Mike the Tiger loses" match, but honestly, I thought the Fever Pitch thing was a pretty neat idea. Most hardcore matches boil down to beating your opponent in the head with something heavy - here they were trying to not only keep their opponents conscious, but work in creative new ways to abuse weapons and submissions to make them scream... seemed like fun.

 

I hope the writers didn't mind...

Edited March 26, 2006 by chirs3

[Bruce Blank 0]

Besides, what could possibly happen that would warrant a lot of stuff in the ring between the start of the show and your match? Besides JJ's 'collapsing roof then super-quick rebuild' spot he never used against IL.

Only thing I can see is Bruce doing a bit of singing before the match to get fans to pelt him with debris

 

And I didn't mind the stipulation at all, I had a blast figuring out the implications on how a regular match would work

[Guest The Satanic Angel]

These last two hardcore (sorta house rules) matches haven't been as awesome as they could have been. The one in LSU should have taken place inside Mike the bengal tiger's cage (With Mike inside as well).

 

My original plan for the LSU House Rules was a "First to get mauled by Mike the Tiger loses" match, but honestly, I thought the Fever Pitch thing was a pretty neat idea. Most hardcore matches boil down to beating your opponent in the head with something heavy - here they were trying to not only keep their opponents conscious, but work in creative new ways to abuse weapons and submissions to make them scream... seemed like fun.

 

I hope the writers didn't mind...

 

I was actually looking forward to kicking Bruce's ass. I liked the stip.