slabinskia 0 Report post Posted June 18, 2006 There was some talk on another board about the snl celebrity jeopardy skits.The exchanges between trebek and connery were priceless.Name some of your favorite quotes.To start off I will go with: Trebek: This is the sound a doggy makes. Connery: Moo Trebek: No Connery: Well that's the sound your mother made last night. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special K 0 Report post Posted June 18, 2006 Alex Trebek: President Nixon declared this holiday in June. Contestant: What is Don't Impeach Me Day! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [From a tournament for 9-to-11 year olds] Contestant: Can I ask you a question? Alex Trebek: Sure. Contestant: Will you adopt me? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alex Trebek: [Tool Time for $200] This word for a long-handled garden implement can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker. Ken Jennings: What is a hoe? [the correct answer was rake] Alex Trebek: So *that's* what they teach you at school in Utah! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alex Trebek: We introduced you as a forensic toxologist. Contestant: That's right. Alex Trebek: Which means you do what, precisely? Contestant: I analyze tissues and bodily fluids for the New York State Police. Alex Trebek: I see. So you have to be dead before you do anything to me? Contestant: Yes. I'm sorry, I won't have anything to do with you while you're alive. Alex Trebek: You're not the first woman to have said that to me, believe me! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alex Trebek: [in final jeopardy] You wrote down "What is I have no freaking idea?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted June 18, 2006 Alex Trebek: [Tool Time for $200] This word for a long-handled garden implement can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker. Ken Jennings: What is a hoe? [the correct answer was rake] Alex Trebek: So *that's* what they teach you at school in Utah! Wait, that's a real quote I remember two things about this bit 1. It actually took Alex a couple seconds to get the joke. He almost moved on to the next contestant without even acknowledging it before the crowd essentially clued him in. 2. I actually thought "hoe" was the right answer. I've never heard "rake" used in that manner before. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special K 0 Report post Posted June 18, 2006 All those quotes are real. I've heard 'rake' used in that manner before, but it's always been sort of affectionate, sort of like scoundrel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
starvenger 0 Report post Posted June 18, 2006 Not real real funny, but "Turd Ferguson" was one of my favourites, simply because we keep using the name in our football pool - either as a team or for Packer Robert Ferguson. But as for Connery quotes: "Ursula Andress and Charo - twice". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fook Report post Posted June 18, 2006 Trebek: And it's an Audio Daily Double. How much do you want to wager? Travolta: I'll play it safe. I'm gonna wager $0. Trebek: ...Okay, for $0. Mr. Travolta, name this continent. Deep Voice: ASIA! Trebek: Once again. Deep Voice: ASIA! *buzzer* Trebek: Time has run out. The answer was Asia. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special K 0 Report post Posted June 18, 2006 In real Celebrity Jeapordy, didn't Jason Alexander just whomp everyone's ass? If so, that's kick-ass. My favorite SNL moment is at the end of one of the sketches where Turd Furgeson puts the comically oversized hat on Ferrell's head and he just completely loses it and freaks the fuck out. Which reminds me of perhaps my favorite SNL moment. Johnny Carson and Burt Reynolds losing their shit (I think Reynolds was played by Hartman) Chris Farley playing DOm Deluise comes up and hits them both in the crotch with a pie, all three are cracking up, Farley pisses himself. It's terrible, low-brow and stupid, yet perfectly fucking absurd. I almost do a Dom Deluise everytime I see it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the max 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 My favorite SNL moment was Nerf crotch bat. I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. As for Celebrity Jeopardy: Alex: We move on to French Stewart, who is grinning like an idiot. (French's answer to write down a number is 'Threeve') Alex: And you wrote 'Threeve', a mix of three and five. Simply stunning. (don't remember French's response) Alex: And let's see what you've wagered...Texas with a dollar sign. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DangerousDamon 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 "Jeff Goldblum is a human wasteland." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 In real Celebrity Jeapordy, didn't Jason Alexander just whomp everyone's ass? If so, that's kick-ass. My favorite SNL moment is at the end of one of the sketches where Turd Furgeson puts the comically oversized hat on Ferrell's head and he just completely loses it and freaks the fuck out. Which reminds me of perhaps my favorite SNL moment. Johnny Carson and Burt Reynolds losing their shit (I think Reynolds was played by Hartman) Chris Farley playing DOm Deluise comes up and hits them both in the crotch with a pie, all three are cracking up, Farley pisses himself. It's terrible, low-brow and stupid, yet perfectly fucking absurd. I almost do a Dom Deluise everytime I see it. The scene you are thinking of is from Dana Carvey as Johnny Carson doing there version of his final show, with him looking back on clips. In the clip, it's Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds, as Hartman was Ed McMahon. That is also one of my favorite moments, just because it comes out of nowhere (especially Farley/Deluise pissing himself while laughing hysterically). You also must remember...they were all in their boxers/pants down EDIT: And of course, my favorite SNL Celebrity Jeopardy line... Connery: BUCKFUTTER!! Trebek: I don't get it. Connery: SUUUURE you don't, Trebek. Honorable mention goes to "I (Heart) Boobs" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darthtiki 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 My favorite SNL one was 1+0-0=1 by Connery My favorite real one was in 1994/95 and Kirsten Dunst was a contestant, the answer was "a 1994 Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt movie based on an Ann Rice novel" she buzzed in and answered "I don't know". I'm sitting there screaming to myself you were in the fucking movie for christ sakes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special K 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 The scene you are thinking of is from Dana Carvey as Johnny Carson doing there version of his final show, with him looking back on clips. In the clip, it's Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds, as Hartman was Ed McMahon. That is also one of my favorite moments, just because it comes out of nowhere (especially Farley/Deluise pissing himself while laughing hysterically). Yeah, you're right. And Farley's laugh is hilarious. It sounds like a death rattle. AHSHASHASHASHA *pisses self* Awesome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Black Lushus 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 Anal Bum Cover Jap Anus Relations Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ced 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 Since it happened during the first skit I saw, my favorite SNL Celebrity Jeopardy moment is "Suck It Trebek". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianChris 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 Connery: The day is mine! I'll take Famous Titties for 400. Trebek: That's Titles. Famous Titles. Connery: Damn! Trebek: And the answer is: This movie title is taken from the name of the book "Gone With The Wind." Mr. Sean Connery. Connery: Dolly Parton! Trebek: TITLES, Mr. Connery. Not titties. Connery: Not a fan of the ladies, are you Trebek? -------------- Connery: I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier. Trebek: What? No, no, that's The Pen is Mightier. Connery: Gussy it up however you want, Trebek. What matters is, does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man? Trebek: It's not a product, Mr. Connery. Connery: Because I've ordered devices like that before. Wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen. Trebek: It's not a Penis Mightier, Mr. Connery. There's no such thing! Nicholas Cage: Wait, wait, wait...are you selling Penis Mightiers? Alex Trebek: No! No, I'm not! Connery: Well, you're sitting on a gold mine, Trebek! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lil' Bitch 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 Connery: I'll take SWORDS for $100 Trebek: That's S Words! It went something like that: Trebek: Asks a questions Connery: Answers it Trebek: Tells him he's incorrect Connercy: You wouldn't have known the answer to that if it wasn't for those cards, Trebek! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ravenbomb 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 Since it happened during the first skit I saw, my favorite SNL Celebrity Jeopardy moment is "Suck It Trebek". That the one where it was his final jeopardy answer, and the answer was "V" and the wager was "SucK It Trebek" and the "V" was part of the K in Suck? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dandy 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 Connery: I'll take SWORDS for $100 Trebek: That's S Words! It went something like that: Trebek: Asks a questions Connery: Answers it Trebek: Tells him he's incorrect Connercy: You wouldn't have known the answer to that if it wasn't for those cards, Trebek! That last one was where he Trebek showed an object, not asking a question. Trebek: I'm going to show you an object and you tell me what it is. Connery: It's a man with a mustache. Trebek: No. Mr. Connery....I'm not the object. I haven't even shown it to you yet. *Trebek pulls out a hammer* *Goldblum rings in and takes forever describing how in "ye olden days" criminals were placed on the device to be tortured* Trebek: You means the stocks, or a pillary. Goldblum: Yes! Trebek: It's a frickin' hammer!!! Connery: Now you listen to me Trebek! You wouldn't have known that if you didn't have those cards! I'm telling you the man reads from cards!!! That was from the awesome Jeff Goldblum, Minnie Driver, and Sean Connery episode. Among the great lines was: Trebek: You drink water out of *this.* Connery: A leather glove! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Epic Reine 0 Report post Posted June 19, 2006 Connery: "Wow, two Alex Trebeks. I feel like I'm in a box of Raisen Bran. Two scoops of fruit!" That was from the episode where the real Alex Trebek made an appearance. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special K 0 Report post Posted June 20, 2006 Easily the only thing where Fallon is really funny. His Nic Cage and Adam Sandler were awesome. I forgot about "a leather glove" That might be the best one. Famous Horsemen - Whore Semen I have a Chardonnay - I have a hard-on Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lil' Bitch 0 Report post Posted June 20, 2006 Connery: Now you listen to me Trebek! You wouldn't have known that if you didn't have those cards! !!! That was the quote. Thank you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted June 20, 2006 Burt Reynolds. That's not my name. ...Turd Ferguson. Yeah, what do you want. You buzzed in. No I didn't. Yes you did. Well, that's your opinion. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ced 0 Report post Posted June 20, 2006 Since it happened during the first skit I saw, my favorite SNL Celebrity Jeopardy moment is "Suck It Trebek". That the one where it was his final jeopardy answer, and the answer was "V" and the wager was "SucK It Trebek" and the "V" was part of the K in Suck? Indeed. The Final Jeopardy was to write any number and it was also where French's answer was the aforementioned "threeve" with the wager of "$Texas" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
starvenger 0 Report post Posted June 20, 2006 By the way: Celebrity Jeopardy episodes Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conspiracy_Victim 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2006 Trebeck: "Who was the drummer for the Beatles?" Connery: "Craven Moorehead" Trebeck: "Who is Craven Moorehead?" Connery: "Apparently you are!" The Connery/Trebck interactions are some of the funnier moments on SNL form the last decade. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hank Kingsley 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2006 Thanks for posting those videos. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
starvenger 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2006 Thanks for posting those videos. Not a problem. I actually stumbled upon the page by chance, when I was doing some research on game show hosts... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Danville_Wrestling 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2006 Connery: I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier. Trebek: What? No, no, that's The Pen is Mightier. Connery: Gussy it up however you want, Trebek. What matters is, does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man? Trebek: It's not a product, Mr. Connery. Connery: Because I've ordered devices like that before. Wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen. Trebek: It's not a Penis Mightier, Mr. Connery. There's no such thing! Nicholas Cage: Wait, wait, wait...are you selling Penis Mightiers? Alex Trebek: No! No, I'm not! Connery: Well, you're sitting on a gold mine, Trebek! This is my favorite one. I remember watching this segment and laughing uncontrollably for minutes afterward with my brother. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
foleyfanforever88 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2006 The final jeopardy question was "A math equation that a third grader could solve." Connery wrote 0 + 0 - 0 = 0. When asked his wager, he drew lines down from the first and last 0 so it spelled p00p. Trebek: That's not a number. Connery: It is a number, number 2, get it? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slabinskia 0 Report post Posted June 22, 2006 These are not exact quotes but they went something like this: Trebek: Of Simon and Garfunkle, the one that is not Garfunkle. Connery: I garfunkled your mother. Trebeck: The word _ is found here in the dictionary. Connery: I believe that is located in the r"s Trebeck: No Connery: In the r"s, just the way your mother likes it trebek. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
