chirs3 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 (edited) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- In the Smartmarks Federation Next Sunday A.D. There'll be a wrestling show For the pleasure of you and me It's owned by Gizmonic Institute Who gave their previous test subjects the boot The Smartmarks thought it was the perfect place So they took a bunch of wrestlers and they shot them into spaaaaace! They'll fight in silly matches The dumbest, we can find (La la la) Our viewers will sit and watch them all And we'll monitor their mind (La la la) Now keep in mind they can't control When the matches begin or end They'll suffer through the insanity With the the help of their wrestling friends... WRESTLER ROLL CALL Zyon! Grendel! Tom Flesher! Dooooooooooooooooooom! If you're wondering how they'll eat and breathe And other science facts (La la la) Just repeat to yourself it's just a show I should really just relax For SWF Lockdown...three thoooousaaaaaaaaand! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents... SWF LOCKDOWN! Live, Wednesday, July 5th, aboard the Satellite of Love! (6pm PST, 10pm EST; check local listings) (Send all promos/marked matches to chirs3) The SWF's World Tour continues it's... uh... Off World... Tour... as we barely escape the burning wreckage of the Cairo Station thanks to the friendly folks aboard the Satellite of Love! Certainly we're grateful for the ride, but perhaps the inhabitants of the SoL are even more grateful for our arrival! Up until now, Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo have been force fed the most awful movies known to man by the evil Dr. Forrester, who's determined to find a movie so awful it literally saps the will to live out of anyone who watches it... but now that we're here, Dr. Forrester has given Mike and the bots the week off, and instead of wisecracking their way through terrible movies, they'll be providing smartass commentary for our show instead! Special OPTIONAL Guest Commentators: Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot! If any of you godless heathens wish to use Joel instead of Mike, I guess I'll let it slide. The Crowd: Anywhere between 50 and 5000 SWF fans (exact size specifications for the SoL are hard to find), and the entire cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- THE MAIN EVENT - WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Michael Stephens © vs. Bruce Blank -> Michael Stephens, ever-eager to defend his title, is going to have a real fight on his hands tonight! Bruce Blank, the Ultraviolent Champion who broke records like they were... things... that break easy... now takes the fight to the Main Event, with the biggest prize in the industry on the line! Can the King of Ultraviolence succeed outside of the Hardcore Arena? Rules: Standard singles match. Sorry Bruce. Word Limit: 6000 Send to: Evolution -=-=-=-=- INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Aecas © vs. Austin Sly -> Austin Sly, fresh off not one but TWO victories over Spike Jenkins, has made it quite clear that he wants to move up in the world, and tonight, he gets his shot against the reigning International Champion, Aecas! Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 5500 Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=-=- HANDICAP MATCH Grendel vs. Tom Flesher © and Charlie "Grappler" Matthews © -> Grendel's still steaming over being attacked by Tom Flesher, and as a response to this incident he threw down the gauntlet! Feeling a little bad about the Sandwich match, Peters allowed Tom to bring Grappler in with him, but this fact hasn't deterred Grendel one bit! Will the new tag team champions put this dog down, or can Grendel succeed in Rules: Standard handicap/tag rules. Only one member of MatFlesh allowed in the ring at any given moment. Word Limit: 5000 Send to: Longdogger Pete -=-=-=-=- HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - HOUSE RULES ROCKET NUMBER 9 MATCH Jimmy the Doom © vs. Mike Van Siclen -> Our second Question Mark Man (not the first QMM) reveals himself - it's MVS! (I assume) he made quite an impact on Stryke, and has since expressed interest in the Hardcore Division, so we've given him the honor/pleasure/gift/blackmail he demanded of a Hardcore Title shot against Jimmy the Doom! Rules: This is a standard Hardcore Brawl - no DQ, no countouts, pinfalls count anywhere. The only hitch is, the referee is Rocket Number 9. Rocket Number 9 is an external camera that Joel/Mike and the Bots use to see anything outside the ship. For this match, it will be orbiting the Satellite of Love, constantly running in some crazy loop that takes it by all the windows on the SoL. The only time a pinfall can be counted is when Rocket Number 9 sees it, so you must attempt to pin your opponent while near a window that RN9 is currently passing by. Word Limit: 5000 Send to: Secret Agent -=-=-=-=- ANGRY CRUISER MATCH Bloodshed vs. Landon Maddix -> I had hoped to get Zyon/Cross on here tonight, but I haven't heard from Cross, so that match is delayed, which means Landon's CW Title aspirations are delayed as well! THIS MAKE LANDON SMASH! In order to keep him tuned up, we toss him the only available Cruiserweight we have right now - BLOODSHED! Known more for being a sick mothertrucker than solid cruiser, can Bloodshed triumph in this restrictive setting? Rules: Cruiserweight Rules. Word Limit: 5000 Send to: Longdogger Pete -=-=-=-=- SINGLES MATCH Wildchild vs. Kerry Staunton -> Seemed like a good idea. Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 5000 Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=-=- OPENING BOUT - DEBUT MATCH Ciro Vitale vs. "Big Country" Martin Hunt -> Newbie debut, take two (rhyme intended)! Trent Hawk failed to dazzle audiences last week due to, I dunno, let's say a power outage. Let's hope we fare a bit better this time around. Ciro Vitale, the brash young Italian with a love of the high life, takes on the other resident JttS, Martin Hunt! Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 4000 Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=-=- Opening Promo: Unclaimed -=-=-=-=- In case anyone isn't familiar with MST3K, here's a few references: Spring Fever Short Gumby Cartoon - Robot Rumpus! And yeah, I'm not too wild about using an active writer as a marker, but considering the rousing response I got in the Community Board thread, this is the best short-term solution. I'll do my best to make sure there are no conflicts of interests as far as which matches get marked. Any retirees out there too lazy to return to active duty (DREW), feel free to volunteer here. Edited July 2, 2006 by chirs3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Evolution Report post Posted July 1, 2006 Oh Raynor, how I love thee. Bruce, Toxxic, I hope you guys are up on your MST3K knowledge, or I'm going to be SUPER disappointed. EDIT: On second thought, both of you guys just write matches and I'll be down with that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 I've never seen the show and my connection is too slow to be able to conveniently view the clips. Unless anyone can give me a text rundown of how these guys speak, I'll be writing King and Francis, and you'll like it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 (edited) I've never seen the show and my connection is too slow to be able to conveniently view the clips. Unless anyone can give me a text rundown of how these guys speak, I'll be writing King and Francis, and you'll like it. Get broadband, you doofus. But still, if you can't (or don't want to) write 'em, King and Francis is fine. Edited July 1, 2006 by chirs3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 I've never seen the show and my connection is too slow to be able to conveniently view the clips. Unless anyone can give me a text rundown of how these guys speak, I'll be writing King and Francis, and you'll like it. Get broadband, you doofus. But still, if you can't (or don't want to) write 'em, King and Francis is fine. Oh, shush. It's not like i can't afford it. I just can't be bothered to ring ntl. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 Am I allowed to do a special flashback section or something even though I'm still inactive? I have got to get in on this shiznit! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 Oh Raynor, you bastard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 Okay, I call THIS opening promo because it involves a match that I forgot was going to be booked for this show. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
janusd 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 Last I checked, Johnny's board name was, in fact, "Secret Agent", Rayn Man. *fadeout* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 I've never seen the show and my connection is too slow to be able to conveniently view the clips. Unless anyone can give me a text rundown of how these guys speak, I'll be writing King and Francis, and you'll like it. I've seen SOME MSTK3K but not a lot, I dunno if I'll be able to really incorporate it or not - the Dane and the Brit face off and try to get a piece of Americana right Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JJ Johnson 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 Johnny's board name is Secret Agent, for what it's worth. Which is a lot, considering they'd find it pretty difficult to turn their matches in to JohnnyDangerous. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 Rules: Standard singles match. Sorry Bruce. At least it's not some sort of "Pure rules, let's all shake hands and have cupcakes afterwards" kinda rules - not like Bruce can't cheat *MUA-HA-HA-HA!* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 Rules: Standard singles match. Sorry Bruce. At least it's not some sort of "Pure rules, let's all shake hands and have cupcakes afterwards" kinda rules - not like Bruce can't cheat *MUA-HA-HA-HA!* Where do you get cupcakes for Pure Rules? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 At Magnolia Bakery, obviously. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 Am I allowed to do a special flashback section or something even though I'm still inactive? I have got to get in on this shiznit! Absolutely. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 Johnny's board name is Secret Agent, for what it's worth. Which is a lot, considering they'd find it pretty difficult to turn their matches in to JohnnyDangerous. Man, I always do that. Not sure why. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 I call opening promo. And unlike Spike, I'll actually write one. And I know Spike's already called it. I call it by virtue of him blowing his last go at it Or semi-opening promo, whatever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2006 Rules: Standard singles match. Sorry Bruce. At least it's not some sort of "Pure rules, let's all shake hands and have cupcakes afterwards" kinda rules - not like Bruce can't cheat *MUA-HA-HA-HA!* Where do you get cupcakes for Pure Rules? Obviously you weren't been backstage in ROH When Nigel McGuiness celebrated his title victory or you'd know all about the cupcakes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted July 2, 2006 I'm thinking at least one match needs a COMMERCIAL SIGN~! with Axis shilling PepsiMax. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Secret Agent 0 Report post Posted July 2, 2006 Johnny's board name is Secret Agent, for what it's worth. Which is a lot, considering they'd find it pretty difficult to turn their matches in to JohnnyDangerous. My number 1 fan to the rescue! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Longdogger_Pete 0 Report post Posted July 2, 2006 In that case, maybe I should remind people that it's Longdogger_Pete and not Longdogger Pete. Maybe that's why I didn't get any matches last show... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted July 2, 2006 Screw_you_and_your___! or_something..._ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angel_Grace_Blue 0 Report post Posted July 2, 2006 This MVS turkey going to post stats soon or will Mark Kinxx be filling in? lollerz Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted July 2, 2006 At Magnolia Bakery, obviously. That bakery's got all the bomb frostings. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JJ Johnson 0 Report post Posted July 2, 2006 I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Aecas Report post Posted July 3, 2006 Having a tough time getting much done I'm afraid. Its roasting around here and the house is a sweatbox, that combined with 8 hours of workplace sweatbox is not a favourable result. I'll try and get something in but I give fair warning it may not be much of anything. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted July 3, 2006 That's not part of the song. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muzz 0 Report post Posted July 3, 2006 I'll be reading this show for sure, although it would be cooler if someone went through and MSTied some matches or segments afterwards. And what's wrong with Joel? I like them both. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted July 3, 2006 You should do that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
