How many 5 year olds

[Pegasus Kid 0]

the question is 'How Many 5 Year Olds Could You 'Take''

 

Here are our parameters:

 

- You're in an enclosed area roughly the size of a gymnasium.

 

- If you get knocked unconscious you 'lose' if you knock all the 5 year olds unconscious or incapacitate them you 'win'

 

- There are no foreign weapons or objects of any kind, you have a cup and normal (pants/shirt) clothing to protect you.

 

- The 5 year olds are all of average height/weight

 

- The 5 year olds are not affected by demoralization, they will not bat an eye seeing their comrades thrown about the room, eyes rolling on the floor or gregarious amounts of bloodshed.

 

- The 5 years olds will do whatever they possibly can to win, anything goes, no holds barred.

 

I'm thinking 30. It's probably less but 30 seems reasonable.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I could smash 30-40 before getting swarmed and getting gouged in the eyes or something.

[Ravenbomb 0]

At least 50. But I hate kids, so I wouldn't bat an eye while maiming them

[I like Forums 0]

I'm gonna say I could kill about 300 before I was too exhausted to continue and overwhelmed by sheer numbers.

[Ravenbomb 0]

Oh, killing them isn't an issue? Shit I dunno if I could even count 'em, in that case

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

You've gotta think though, a five year old might weigh fifty pounds. I remember a family gathering a few years back where there was a pickup football game with a bunch of little kids, and those little fuckers can attach themselves to your limbs. I was doing that collosus bit with like nine little kids trying to tackle me. Even only that many gets you moving sluggish, but then again I wasn't throwing full-force knees or punching them in the face..

 

I change my answer to sixty.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

A good tactic would be to slam a smaller one against the floor, then use them as a weapon.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Way to rip off Ron and Fez.

 

Actually they did "How many 9 year olds.." so..uh..

 

9 year olds > 5 year olds

 

September 19, 2005 - Ron, Fez, Master Po and Steve C speculate as to how many 9 year old boys they could beat up in a ring:

Caller: "How are you supposed to fight the nine nine year old when you have such a huge boner?"

[Ravenbomb 0]

Plus, one well-placed kick will take out a 5 year old instantly. And they've got easily broken bones and wide, hopeful eyes that you can jab your thumbs into easily. Does blinding them or making them unable to walk count as incapacitating?

[Hawk 34 0]

Go back to Hersey Park, Marv. This isn't a "Ron and Fez"(whoever they are) thing. It's an old game people have been doing for years.

 

As for this, I think we all greatly underestimate the tremendous flexibility of these kids. Seriously, they fall off stuff all the time and get up and run around within seconds. You can't just instantly immobilize these fuckers.

 

They have insane energy, which we can't remotely match after years of being broken down by the stress of life and probably drugging and drinking. Motivation also plays a factor, how long can we keep interest in killing kids?

 

I'll say 30 is the right number.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Ron and Fez are on High..er The Virus XM 202 after O&A. Great show, they are both huge wrestling fans. They had Paul Heyman on a while back talking about the old ECW, which was when he said he bought lunch for Katie Couric.

 

I guess I should note that the perameters for R&F's battle vs 9 year olds was that it was in a ring..

[Star Ocean 3 0]

Assuming there's no foreplay, I could take care of maybe five at once, but it could be more if they're taking each other at the same time. Now I'm not pedophile, so it might take me a bit longer to finish, which would probably help. I'm assuming most of them will be tight, which would make me want to move on to other ones. With all that I could take 27.

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

Depends on the placement of the kids. I'd like to think the first kid at me could easily be picked up and swung around, causing a domino effect, or at least used as a battering ram.

 

Assuming that's cheating.....I'll say 18-25. That cup alone, I think, is what puts me in double digits.

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

gregarious amounts of bloodshed.

 

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

I would think that it's nearly impossible for 5 year olds to knock an adult unconscious, unless they somehow managed to swarm you and bring you down and then dog piled you until smothering you. Since that wouldn't be very likely, I'd say somewhere in the neighbourhood of 80-100 before I collapsed from exhaustion from swatting them away like bees.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

This is why its 9 year olds in a wrestling ring.

 

9 year olds can kick your ass.

[Ginger Snaps 0]

Way to rip off Ron and Fez.

 

Actually they did "How many 9 year olds.." so..uh..

 

9 year olds > 5 year olds

 

September 19, 2005 - Ron, Fez, Master Po and Steve C speculate as to how many 9 year old boys they could beat up in a ring:

Caller: "How are you supposed to fight the nine nine year old when you have such a huge boner?"

 

Hey, I heard that show.

 

Didn't they have a side argument about whether the kids would be retarded or not? Because if you're dealing with retards, you have to revise your numbers, on account of their freakishly superhuman retard strength.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Way to rip off Ron and Fez.

 

Actually they did "How many 9 year olds.." so..uh..

 

9 year olds > 5 year olds

 

September 19, 2005 - Ron, Fez, Master Po and Steve C speculate as to how many 9 year old boys they could beat up in a ring:

Caller: "How are you supposed to fight the nine nine year old when you have such a huge boner?"

 

Hey, I heard that show.

 

Didn't they have a side argument about whether the kids would be retarded or not? Because if you're dealing with retards, you have to revise your numbers, on account of their freakishly superhuman retard strength.

 

Yeah. The retards thing goes to a bit they run occasionally - "When Retards Rule the World". I didnt hear it the first time, but it aired recently on one of the Best of Ron and Fez days and it was hillarious.

 

They also had a really great interview with Bob Zmuda last week..and he was telling all these great stories about Andy Kaufman..its nice to know he fucked about 80% of the women he wrestled with after the shows and his unique wrestling gear was a result of having to tape down his dick and wear 5 layers of clothing to prevent his erection from showing live on SNL.

 

Ron and Fez are pretty awesome lately, I cant really stand O&A anymore.

[Hawk 34 0]

This is why its 9 year olds in a wrestling ring.

 

9 year olds can kick your ass.

 

What's your fucking hang up on this stupid show? You seem greatly annoyed that someone ripped a gag game that those guys ripped off.

[Youth N Asia 0]

excelent question, I don't know if I could put a number on this though. They couldn't get to my eyes right away, being that my sister is 6 and I have a good base of comparison.

 

Are they all rushing at once? Or is it one after the other? If it's one after the other I'll just rear naked choke every last one of them. If it's a rumble then I think it'll be mostly kicks in the faces.

[Youth N Asia 0]

excelent question, I don't know if I could put a number on this though. They couldn't get to my eyes right away, being that my sister is 6 and I have a good base of comparison.

 

Are they all rushing at once? Or is it one after the other? If it's one after the other I'll just rear naked choke every last one of them. If it's a rumble then I think it'll be mostly kicks in the faces.

[Pegasus Kid 0]

I don't know what Ron & Fez is. I just saw this on SRK's General Discussion forum and thought I'd throw it over here.

 

I posed this question at work as well. One person brought up the best point of whether these kids are organized or not. If they had any semblance of "four kids hold each leg, the rest rush him" then you're essentially fucked.

 

Also, someone brought up using a kid like a battering ram and/or bat but that was ruled out almost instantly because you'd fatigue extremly fast swinging around a 40lb bat any more than a few reps at a time, nevermind while fending off children.

[Guest Legalise Drugs and Murder]

Maybe, but grabbing a kid by both legs and slamming him down onto his comrades would take out four or five of them.

[Black Lushus 0]

don't underestimate the power of children...

[In Credible 0]

Id say about 75. One trick would be to grab one by feet and swing him/her around into the others. Also keeping moving and using flying knees and kicks would work well.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

This is why its 9 year olds in a wrestling ring.

 

9 year olds can kick your ass.

 

What's your fucking hang up on this stupid show? You seem greatly annoyed that someone ripped a gag game that those guys ripped off.

 

 

Im over the whole "this is a rip off of Ron and Fez" thing but I think that 9 year olds are a bigger challenge than 5 year olds and thus the Ron and Fez version of this is better, especially if you make them retarded 9 year olds.

[Guest Paul]

Agent has a good point with his using a kid as a weapon idea...you could really kill hundreds that way.

 

I'd say I could kill over 100 five year olds. My mom is SO proud.

[2GOLD 0]

5.

Those little shits would just punch me in the balls and after five ball shots, I'm not fighting anymore. Biting arms and ball shots means short fight.

 

The size isn't the issue, it's that "no holds barred" shit that gets me.

Nothing more than a room full of pissed off midgets.

[Vyce 0]

This is why its 9 year olds in a wrestling ring.

 

9 year olds can kick your ass.

 

What's your fucking hang up on this stupid show? You seem greatly annoyed that someone ripped a gag game that those guys ripped off.

 

It's a fucking great show, and their entire discussion about fighting 9 year olds was more amusing than likely anything we could come up with in this thread.

 

Didn't know you were a fan, Marvin, you got XM?

[Conspiracy_Victim 0]

Are they all rushing at once? Or is it one after the other? If it's one after the other I'll just rear naked choke every last one of them. If it's a rumble then I think it'll be mostly kicks in the faces.

 

That's what I want to know. If they're allowed to swarm (i.e. it's just you and a swarm of the little bastards and someone shouts "Go!") it'll be difficult to last very long just due to overwhelming numbers (too many people have seen the Matrix's Burly Brawl with that "swing the kid like a weapon" stuff). If they attack "black ninja" style and come one at a time or in small groups of up to say, 4 or 5 until you drop from exhaustion it might make things more manageable and increase your KO numbers.

 

I thought about this too much.