I'm gonna...come...in...YOUR...ASSSSSSSSSSSS

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Just uttered by one of my roommates, presumably directed at his girlfriend and/or her posterior. I don't think he realized I was eating dinner in the living room, not too far outside his bedroom door. My bad.

 

As he shared it with me, I share it with you.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

FROM THE EAST COAST

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TO THE WEST COAST

[Guest "Go, Mordecai!"]

Edwin, the unthinkable has happened. Your avatar is gone.

 

Inc, did you just start seeing those ads or something?

 

 

EDIT: PERHAPS I COULD SAY THAT NOW EDWIN HAS TO REACH OUT FOR SOMETHING NEW.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

The sound of my roommate having an orgasm, I have discovered, sounds not unlike someone experiencing a massive bowel movement.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Isn't this the guy who plays World of Warcraft all day? Maybe he was saying that to an opponent he was presently besting.

 

Also, should I remove a great deal of the blank space from my earlier post? That was very obnoxious of me.

[Guest "Go, Mordecai!"]

Edwin, here's something from the Czech Republic Weird Face Surplus. I'd have put it on my photobucket, but I've been blocked from accessing my account because I repeatedly tried to log in with my password in all caps, having not turned it off since my addendum to my post.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Isn't this the guy who plays World of Warcraft all day? Maybe he was saying that to an opponent he was presently besting.

No, this is the other guy, the one who makes ridiculous protein and fruit shakes, and also apparently fills his girlfriend's bottom with majesty. She wears very tight spandex pants too, so I'm going to have a hard time not looking for evidence of backdoor savagery next time she's walking around.

 

As to the avatar, that's what I get for not using photobucket on that one. An emergency stand-in is on the way, though separation anxiety will be rough after 3-odd years.

[Star Ocean 3 0]

I'm sure the topic title is a Stevie Ray quote.

 

Fruit booty.

[Prime Time Andrew Doyle 0]

I'm sure the topic title is a Stevie Ray quote.

 

Fruit booty.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

I fell a little dirty referencing wrestling this far down the board, but this popped into my head when I saw the thread title:

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Sorry, Paul. I feel I am indirectly responsible for the terrible direction this thread has taken.

[Guest "Go, Mordecai!"]

No, you're safe. It's that damned Star Ocean.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

This was beautiful:

No, this is the other guy, the one who makes ridiculous protein and fruit shakes, and also apparently fills his girlfriend's bottom with majesty. She wears very tight spandex pants too, so I'm going to have a hard time not looking for evidence of backdoor savagery next time she's walking around.

[Guest Legalise Drugs and Murder]

My upstairs neighbors have very loud sex occasionally, but never to the degree of clarity that I can make out his seminal intentions. You should just bellow this out while you're taking a shit someday, and he's within earshot.

[EL BRUJ0 0]

and by someday I hope that's later TOday... the likelyhood of his catching of the reference decreases with time's passing...

 

that's if you two will be ok with spermal storage knowings, otherwise it may get uncomfy....

[Guest "Go, Mordecai!"]

"Seminal intentions" is barely edged out by "backdoor savagery."

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I'll take "fills his girlfriend's bottom with majesty," thank you.

[Ted the Poster 0]

That's got to be one of the top five ejaculation euphemisms.

[godthedog 0]

relieve one's hostess twinkie of its cream filling.

[LJSexay 0]

Edwin is officially my favorite poster.

[AndrewTS 0]

How did he pronounce the "ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"? With an extended hissing sound?

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

This is unquestionably the hardest I've ever laughed at a thread, edging out the Price is Right thread of eleven months ago. Doyle's double Stevie Ray sealed the deal.

 

Also, as long as we're talking anal cum euphemisms, I defy anyone to not giggle while playing Hearts. I refer to this as "Shoot the moon" at least sounds reasonably appropriate.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

How did he pronounce the "ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"? With an extended hissing sound?

I probably should have given it a few more A's to express duration, but the hiss was definitely there, with kind of a gurgle towards what I can only presume was the grand finale.

 

Roommate and girlfriend were having a bit of a tiff in the lobby of our apartment building yesterday. I can't wait for the makeup sex.

[Failed Bridge 0]

at the first resteraunt I ever worked at I had an assistant manager named Jim. He was engaged to a hideous woman who managed a seperate resteraunt in the same chain. Anyways he told me that one night after he had done a regular shift and she had worked a double he tried getting her into the mood. She repeatedly told him she was too tired and to leave her alone. He then waited for about 15min after she went to sleep and proceeded to rub one out. Only thing is when he came he purposely shot it all over the small of her back and for whatever reason called her a bitch while she was asleep. He then cleaned himself with one of her sweaters and stuck it inbetween them so he didn't get his own spunk on him if she were to roll over on his side of the bed.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Jim had/has issues.

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

How do you know UTSU?

[Failed Bridge 0]

another fun Jim story

 

There was a 17 year old black waitress that was about 2 months pregnant. Since she wasn't showing yet and still had a great figure Jim thought he would pursue this. First thing he did though was ask the cop that stood in the resteraunt during bar rush whether or not he would get in trouble for it. Cop told him "Legal age in Mass is 16 as long as its concentual". Jim then went on to fuck the waitress about 3 nights later. A week after that the waitress quit because he wouldn't speak to her. The black dishwasher named Eugene (who would later on in life get hit by a plow walking home from work and sue the city) asked Jim what the deal was. Jim responded with "Your kind fucks as bad as they smell" and left it at that.

[Sideburnious 0]

More fucking Jim stories please.

[Matt Young 0]

More fucking Jim stories please.

 

I fully support this request.