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Giuseppe Zangara

Let go of your old prejudices.

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One of my friends from college was and still is a massive Hanson fan, owns all their albums. Including a Christmas album. Creepy stuff.

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My sister was a huge fuckin' Hanson fan...like...the hugest. Back in '97, the mayor of Tulsa or wherever they're from in OK declared it 'Hanson Day', and my sister actually stayed home from school and celebrated. She also, being like...12 at the time, wrote a 'fake' news story on our old computer about how every member of Hanson fell madly in love with her and fought each other over her. The worst, however, was that summer in 1997 when we went on our family vacation to West Texas, my sister forced us to drive to Tulsa (through like...golfball sized hail) so she could go to the Hanson house and put red jellybeans on their lawn. Seriously, that's all we did. We drove 500 miles out of our way so my sister could spend 15 minutes putting jellybeans on the lawn of Taylor Hanson. And then we left Oklahoma. We stayed in a motel that night and my Dad wanted to use one of the pillows, but my sister refused to let him because she had taped a picture of Hanson on it, so it was off-limits. Yeah, my sister was a freak. Even after Hanson wasn't popular anymore, when they got married and matured and what-not, she still was into em. She still goes to all the concerts and stuff. She's like, a serious Hanson fan. Another time, she spent five or so hours on the computer looking up a soundclip of a young Taylor Hanson saying 'Dammit, Zak!' to young Zak Hanson. Much to her chagrin, when she found it, Taylor was only saying 'Dangit' and not 'Dammit'. Thus concludes my memories of Hanson.

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When mmmBop hit there was a guy in school who was caught remarking how the lead singer was hot. 4 years later at graduation and people were still giving him shit about it.

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The main reason people bashed Hanson, besides Taylor's effeminate good looks making men insecure about their sexuality, was the nonsensical chorus in MMMbop. If they had used a real word or phrase, people would have realized that it was actually a pretty good song for a kids band. Maybe they were going for a Crash Test Dummies homage.

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Guest Eagle Man
My sister was a huge fuckin' Hanson fan...like...the hugest. Back in '97, the mayor of Tulsa or wherever they're from in OK declared it 'Hanson Day', and my sister actually stayed home from school and celebrated. She also, being like...12 at the time, wrote a 'fake' news story on our old computer about how every member of Hanson fell madly in love with her and fought each other over her. The worst, however, was that summer in 1997 when we went on our family vacation to West Texas, my sister forced us to drive to Tulsa (through like...golfball sized hail) so she could go to the Hanson house and put red jellybeans on their lawn.

Hail only comes in golf ball size.

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My sister was a huge fuckin' Hanson fan...like...the hugest. Back in '97, the mayor of Tulsa or wherever they're from in OK declared it 'Hanson Day', and my sister actually stayed home from school and celebrated. She also, being like...12 at the time, wrote a 'fake' news story on our old computer about how every member of Hanson fell madly in love with her and fought each other over her. The worst, however, was that summer in 1997 when we went on our family vacation to West Texas, my sister forced us to drive to Tulsa (through like...golfball sized hail) so she could go to the Hanson house and put red jellybeans on their lawn.

Hail only comes in golf ball size.

 

I dunno. I've seen some grapefruit sized hail down here, but, as you know, everything's bigger in Texas.

 

Also, at my Maw-Maw's funeral in 1998, my sister got them to play 'I Will Come to You' by Hanson as the casket was being carried out. It was very poignant. The only other music played at the service was ... nylon-stringed acoustic instrumental renditions of Rod Stewart songs. My Maw-Maw was a big Rod Stewart fan.

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There's no reason why this band is crapped on while the not dissimilar Jackson 5 is heralded as a classic group.

 

I Would disagree with this. While I'm not that fond of the Jackson 5, and would never call them a classic group, I find them to be perfectly acceptable motown fare, while Hanson is just awful. They remind me of music you'd hear on a Veggietales soundtrack, if such a thing exists. I think you're really reaching with this comparison.

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There's no reason why this band is crapped on while the not dissimilar Jackson 5 is heralded as a classic group.

 

I Would disagree with this. While I'm not that fond of the Jackson 5, and would never call them a classic group, I find them to be perfectly acceptable motown fare, while Hanson is just awful. They remind me of music you'd hear on a Veggietales soundtrack, if such a thing exists. I think you're really reaching with this comparison.

Bullshit. The vocal harmonies on "mmmBop"—particularly the chorus—are heavily indebted to the Jackson 5. How different is this song from, say, "ABC?"

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Well, as you kind of admitted, it's a bit derivative. I don't think Taylor or whichever was the vocal talent Michael was at a younger age, and Hanson just don't got the bass (yeah I went there). Otherwise, its kind of a fair point but the oldest one in Hanson is just such a retard I cannot help picturing him when I hear their songs. It inevitably ruins them.

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I'm admittedly not a big fan of either, so I don't have enough knowledge to compare. But the music itself seems to be very different. If you're concerned with vocals, sure it's similar I guess, though Michael obviously would have had much more range than Hanson. The J5 songs seem to be much more soulful, as it sounds like they have someone competent behind the boards. The melodies seem to be much better written than Hanson's mid-90s radio alt trash.

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Hanson was horrible. I was a senior in HS in 1997 and Hanson combined with the Spice Girls made me glad as hell I was getting out of HS. This sort of crap was a precursor to the Britney Spears/Backstreet Boys/NSYNC nonsense that along with rap rock made late 1990s music excruciating.

 

I still remember the first time I saw that Mmmbop video. It was the day of our Senior Trip to the Belle of Louisville. It must have made an impression since I went out of my way to trash it to anyone who would listen.

 

The one thing I will give Hanson is that they at least seemed like actual musicians compared to the prefab boy bands that would follow.

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