The torture horror genre is dead. Well almost dead. Thank God.
I liked "Hostel" and it's sequal, in spite of what others have said. I liked the first "Saw" movie. That out of the way, with "Hostel Part II" tanking (and director Eli Roth posting an incredibly whiney entry in his Myspace), and inspite of the movie "Captivity" coming out, people aren't largely going to see people get tortured anymore. Ok, so there's another "Saw" movie, but that's beyond the point.
I think that people are tired of being bombarded with torture flick after torture flick. Hell, Roth has even seemed to have moved beyond the tired subgenre he helped give birth to, and is going on to do an adaptation of Stephen King's "Cell" as his next movie. The director of "Saw" went on to do the dreadful "Dead Silence", which at least saw him try something different. The director of the excellent slasher flick "High Tension" and the remake of "The Hills Have Eyes" is moving on to more creepy supernatural scare. And "28 Weeks" later not only showed that R rated horror can still do good box office, but can still be scary. Several R Rated horror films have proven that you can be scary without endless torture sequences. The problem: They haven't done good box office.
In a way, because of movies like "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning" and their ilk, R-Rated horror has gotten a bad buzz. Critics now use the tired phrase "torture porn" to describe such movies (really folks, torture porn is the kind of thing you find in Sweeden), and the movie going public has tired of torture. Unfortunately, this has spoiled things for other horror flicks, meaning that much better and more imaginative horror flicks either do poor box office ("Grindhouse", "The Abandoned", "Slither") get limited release ("Black Sheep", "Fido"), or get dumped straight to video ("Gravedancers", "Reincarnation", "Isolation")
People want to be scared again. They don't want to see Elisha Cuthbert get tortured by a deranged maniac. They don't want to see a woman get raped by a mutant. They want to be frightened, not put through an ordeal.
My answer to those who complain about movies that use torture: don't watch them, and they'll go away. Go see original horror movies that deserve respect and attention, like "The Descent" or "The Abandoned."
Horror isn't going to die, it's just at a crossroads. That's ok, because this always happens. The same thing happened with slasher movies in the 80's and self aware horror in the 90's. The next big thing will come eventually, and it will go, only to make way for the new one.
6 p.m.
• So I finally saw Spiderman 3 last night and honestly… wtf.
Spoilers ahead and stuff.
Fuck Aunt May for being a goddamn hippie. “Forgive” the person that killed your longtime husband? Bitch please.
Fuck that butler guy for waiting all this time before telling Harry that his dad was a fuckup.
Fuck Mary Jane for being a jealous bitch. And I'd take JJJ's secretary over anyone from these movies.
And I don’t get that Brock Junior guy getting all mopey for getting busted for taking faux pictures. First off, that’s a big no-no. Secondly, making up news to fit a certain template – I’m sure the New York Times would have had him on the phone the moment he got released from the Daily Bugle.
What’s this shit about another guy killing Peter’s uncle? And what’s this shit about “I didn’t mean to shoot your uncle”? Oh boo-hoo. You shot an innocent person. He died. You should have gotten the needle years ago you pissant – and I don’t give a shit if your kid is sick. What did you do for her in the end? Just turn into sand and float off, leaving your kid to fend for herself and hope the State can be a better father figure than you could, you lowlife piece of shit.
You want to know what the good was? J. Jonah Jameson, although not as good as in previous films. Bruce Campbell got a paycheck. And, I kid you not, was waiting for the line Harry says that’s in Black Lushsus’ avatar over at the other place. I was sitting there halfway through the film wondering what the hell is going on and thinking, “So when is Harry going to be saying, ‘so good’?” I also liked Venom Brock – it’d be nice if he was on-screen for more than five minutes.
Oh, here’s another thing that got on my nerves. In the first Spiderman movie when the Green Goblin was being mean on the bridge, everyday New Yorkers came to Spidey’s defense by throwing stuff at the Goblin and saying stuff like “You mess with Spiderman, you mess with New York.” In the second film, those passengers on the subway try to defend Spiderman from Doc Ock. What happens in this film? OMG there’s this big sand guy and black thing holding a chick hostage in a car way up in the air. Let’s all just stand around and do nothing. If the fire fighters can’t at least turn the hose on the sand guy while I’m waiting for my friend-turned-enemy-turned-friend-turned-enemy-turned-friend arrive on his hippie hover board, then I’d be moving to another city that would at least appreciate my efforts – and no, gay parades and keys to the city don’t mean shit when you’re having slabs of construction material hurled at you.
One last thing about the sandman. Great concept with the roaring face and all that – I liked it better the first and second time I saw it during the “Mummy” movies.
But at least Bruce Campbell got a paycheck.
Maybe I’ll better appreciate this movie upon a second viewing or something. My spidey sense is going off on this one, though. Or is that my ears ringing due to the wax removal drops I put in earlier today?
11:30 a.m.
• Well this can't be good. Earlier this morning the better half and I heard this engine noise from outside. After a while when we got our lazy asses up to see what was going on (my guess was the cable company trimming some trees from phone poles or something like that) we saw an ambulance by our shut-in neighbor's house. And the only thing worse than an ambulance at your house is when the paramedics don't seem to be in any hurry to cart you off. Not sure if the guy died or not (there's a chance he could be getting transported to a nursing home/rehab/etc.), but one of his adult kids was there with his wife and talking on the cell phone. My guess is that he was calling the rest of the family to deliver the news. If that's the case, then peace out, Mr. Auld. Saturdays just won't be the same around here without your family coming over and screaming at the top of their lungs during every play of a Notre Dame football broadcast, and I mean that in a sad way.
-Matt Young's telling us about his personal life again. Matt, here's some advice: It would be best not to tell people too much about your personal life. Seriously, if there is anything you need to work on, it's that. Not because of people not caring, but because it reflects really badly on you. This is one of the reasons I tend to be hush hush on my personal life. Actually, it's mostly because my personal life is fucking boring, but I digress.
-I'm going to see 1408 tonight. Normally, I don't check out PG-13 rated horror flicks, but it's been getting good reviews, and has a great cast.
-I checked out TNA last night out of boredom, and wasn't too impressed. Sure, Samoa Joe is great, and I love some of the guys there, but it was still kind of boring. It felt a bit like a mix of WCW Nitro and WCW Worldwide. Also, I'm suprised nobody on the boards is now called "Black Machismo." Oh, and poor Jarrett.
-My new favorite Youtube video. It sounds more like a stuck pig than a dog.
11 a.m.
• Well yesterday was fun. For our upcoming anniversary, I had been saving up to get the better half a television for the bedroom. Now I know what you’re thinking: You’re just getting the television for yourself and disguising it as a gift for “her.” You would be wrong. When we had our former TV in the bedroom, I never once had it on; the better half likes to watch DVDs before nodding off, and there would be many times when I’d come to bed and she’d be snoozing to “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” or an episode of “Charmed.” A while back, Max knocked this television onto the floor in the middle of the night – my guess he was trying to get up to one window and was using the television as a springboard. He then slipped somewhere during this action and while trying to regain his balance on top of the television knocked it over. That was a fun noise to wake up to at 3 a.m. on a worknight. Anyway, because we have spent the past year paying off Mrs. kkk’s credit card bills, a new television set wasn’t in the cards. However, I had been saving up and was hoping to get a nice LCD set for the bedroom for her. I saw a nice deal at Best Buy this past week and planned to get the set last night and hook it up in time before she got back from working her second job.
Or so I thought.
I always liked Best Buy, but one thing I could do without are employees stopping me every few minutes asking if I need anything. No I don’t. Go away. I knew someone who worked at a Best Buy once and he said the employees at his store had to flag down a certain amount of customers per day and fill out some hippie report. Is he right? I don’t know. However, this day everybody must have met their quota because I was in the television department for 40 minutes trying to get someone to ring me up. It was unreal. If I wasn’t being walked right by store personnel as if I didn’t exist, I was being told to “wait and someone will be right with you.” I’m not a high-maintenance customer. Most of the time I want to be left alone. But I find it funny that the one time I was hoping to get pulled over by someone wearing one of those blue shirts I was unable to. I bet if I was going to buy a $5 DVD I’d have six of these CSR’s letting me know that if I wanted to buy a big-ticket item they’d be down the next aisle.
But it all works out in the end. I just left and went to another store where I bought a “normal” television set and some extra stuff with the several hundred dollars I saved from not making that Best Buy purchase. Not only did I not break the bank when getting Mrs. kkk a gift that she can (and will) use, but also if I hear a loud “crash” at 3 a.m. I can go back to bed knowing that buying the less expensive product was the right thing to do.
Cincinnati Reds manager Jerry Narron made a move in yesterday's afternoon game against the Oakland As that was just downright silly. Here's what happened: The Reds were behind by 2 runs (5 to 3) and Josh Hamilton was due up with nobody on base (it was the 8th or 9th inning). Hamilton has been a good player--he was the No. 1 draft pick several years ago and then had problems with drugs and now has gotten back on the straight and narrow. He is being called "The Natural" around Cincinnati because he excels in all 5 areas of the traditional baseball tools and because he kind of showed up after being off the map for several years, like the Roy Hobbs character.
So we have Hamilton due up and Narron decides to pull him in favor of Juan Castro. Castro is hitting .167 and Hamilton had homered earlier in the game. Part of the rationale was that Castro had success against the pitcher. What success? He was 1 for 1. Seven years ago.
Another thing Narron said was that Hamilton hitting a home run still left you down a run and he wanted Castro to get a hit and be a spark plug. Yeah, god forbid Hamilton hits a home run.
Now I'm not going to freak out and call for him to be immediately fired, but that was just weird logic in my opinion.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 21: Cartman
I don’t have much to say about Cartman. The guy’s a commie, but as I have said before that’s not really all that big a deal. What is a big deal, though, is that he is the kkk Bowl II champ. Don’t believe me? Look at his sig. Speaking of NFL contests, it looks like he did some “Survivor” deal back in ’03. We've been around that long? Wonder if he's got the same girlfriend that he had back in '04 where he wanted to know what kind of video games the two of them could play together? Hey, she liked sports games; sounds like a keeper to me.
And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Cancer Marney:
Coming soon...
The Top 20~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
DEVELOPING...
9 p.m.
• The better half had an interesting story to tell today. She had to work late so I made the bitch take the bus home. When she takes the bus home, she hops on Westmoreland Transit, which is the county we live in that’s next to Allegheny County, home of Shittsburgh. Because of this distance, there aren’t as many bus routes for Westmoreland Transit as there are for the Port Authority of Allegheny County (which by the way is a fucking joke and is bankrupt). Mrs. kkk was on the bus today and this bitch was sitting near her on the phone bitching to some bureaucratic peon from Westmoreland Transit. The problem? The bus this chick was originally waiting for broke down and she had to wait two hours for the next one to pick her up. When she asked the bus driver if she had to pay the fare, the bus driver said “yes” in “a rude manner.” Now the better half said she was ready to tell this person to shut up, but I know better. She just sat there and let this cunt do her thing. I’ve taken public transportation during my college years and it’s just a fact of life that these pieces of shit break down every now and then. That’s the price you pay for using public transportation.
That’s also the price paid for depending on the government to provide for you.
6:30 p.m.
• So Pacman Jones is in a bit of trouble…
… and what do I hear on a SportsCenter teaser today -- “How will THIS affect Pacman Jones’ re-entry into the NFL?” How do you fucking think? I’m sure Roger Goodell will be thinking, “Boy, that Pacman is sure being held down by the Man. I think we’ll shave a few months off his sentence.
• If you haven’t heard this story about Pirates pitcher Ian Snell…
Well now you have. Why do I comment on this? Because of this wacky mishap, Snell got scratched from his regular start, which was last night against the Mariners (which the Pirates won). When is he going to pitch again? Against the Angles. If that’s not paying for one’s stupidity I don’t know what is.
• Today I went to the printers to look over a proof and start the process rolling on this month’s workplace publication. When I walked out of the printers building I saw a white dog roaming around (this was in Shittsburgh’s South Side). Now I have no problem with dogs, but when I see one roaming about I leave it alone. Don’t know where it’s been, don’t know what it’s temperament is. Well, the guy I deal with at this print shop must have been told by a co-worker about this dog and went out to see its condition. We both approached it and noticed it had a collar but no tags. Poor thing was panting like a champ, too. The other guy, a dog owner, took it out back to give it some water and shade and I told him if the owner couldn’t be found I’ll try and set it up in a no-kill shelter. I spent the next 20 minutes when I returned to the office to find a shelter for the pooch, and later on that afternoon I was happy to hear the dog’s owner was reunited with his lost companion. Oh happy days.
Nothing against dogs, but in a house with three cats, it wouldn’t have been a good match. A few years ago, the brother-in-law and his wife asked if we could keep their newly bought dog at our place for a few days so they could surprise their kids on Christmas day. We accepted. Boy was that a fun time. Dessa and JJ didn’t take too kindly to their guest; I think we only saw each of them once during this time, twice at the max. The puppy, who was eventually named Duchess, was a husky or some kinds of elk hound. And of course it had a case of diarrhea the whole time it was with us. That’s what family is for, I guess.
To get shit on.
-Hillary Clinton chose a Celine Dion song as her campaign song. I would have had her go with Cum Drenched Tits by William H. Nutsack. At least Kerry had the decency to go with Zeppelin.
-Band of the moment: The Angelic Process, who are like Doom Metal meets The Swans meets My Bloody Valentine meets Sigur Ros. I love this stuff, and their new album is in my future purchases list.
-I mentioned Dr. Dre's The Chronic, and I can't believe that I forgot how awesome that album really is. The production is so top notch, it's practically a joke (I'm a sucker for really good hip hop production), and damnit, "Lyrical Gangbang" is underrated. I should probably do a "best hip hop albums of all time" list, but that would be too hard.
-This is what Scientoligists actually believe. I really, really hope that someday, this whole cult disappears. Then again, there are people who believe that they are dragons, they just aren't dangerous.
Yeah, sorry for the boring entry.
Regulars of the Sports forum know that for the past three years I've been running a College Football Pick 'Em Contest. At the conclusion of last season I was uncertain if I wanted to continue running this contest. During last season the contest started to become a chore for me to run rather than a fun time killer. But after giving it it some thought and given the desire of others to keep it going I've decided to do it for at least one more year. I'll be holding off on posting the sign up thread for this upcoming season until mid-July as I hope having sign ups start closer to the beginning of the season will mean less people jumping ship right as the contest starts. Last year I started signs up around this time and I had four people drop out within a month into the season. Further details of the 2007 contest will be held off until then, including a change in the BCS rankings.
To keep this entry in with the theme of my blog, it's time for a random list which relates to the contest. Last year I posted the Bored's College Football Pick 'Em Encyclopedia which had a recap of the first two seasons of the contest and all-time standings. I don't really feel like typing up a recap of last season but I have gone ahead and updated the all-time contest standings so here they are.
All-Time Records (ordered by total wins)
Note: Results where replacements picks were used are thrown out.
1t. CanadianChris 29-13
1t. teke 184 29-14
3. iggymcfly 28-11
4. Edwin MacPhisto 27-14
5. Vern Gagne 25-16
6t. AlwaysPissedOff 23-17
6t. phoenixrising 23-18
8t. Bored 22-18
8t. nogoodnick 22-21
10t. Cuban Linx 21-7
10t. Lando Griffin 21-19
10t. Spaceman Spiff 21-21
10t. Will Scarlet 21-22
14. Spicy McHaggis 20-21
15t. MarvinisLunatic 19-12
15t. Cartman 19-21
17t. Agent of Oblivion 18-21
17t. Gert T 18-21
19. Kotzenjunge 17-20
20t. JHawk 16-22
20t. bravesfan 16-23
22t. Secret Agent 13-12
22t. Agent Bond34 13-14
22t. Kingofthe909 13-16
22t. the pinjockey 13-25
26. Porter 12-13
27t. SilverPhoenix 11-10
27t. therealworldschampion 11-20
29. A MikeSC 9-3
30t. Loaded Glove 8-13
30t. Damaramu 8-15
30t. Carnival 8-17
33t. kkktookmybabyaway 7-5
33t. Urban Warfare 7-6
33t. Danville Wrestling 7-7
33t. Flyboy 7-7
33t. Vampiro69 7-7
33t. Leena 7-8
33t. Vitamin X 7-16
39t. UTBroward 6-7
39t. HarleyQuinn 6-8
39t. Angel Grace Blue 6-19
42t. Hawk 34 5-7
42t. Ortonsault 5-7
44t. Matt Young 4-2
44t. Dangerous A 4-7
44t. 2GOLD 4-9
44t. Mad Dog 4-9
48t. Jimbo 1-1
48t. "Hail" bps21 1-2
50t. IK Cool Jew 0-3
50t. Rob E Dangerously 0-4
-Well, Raw ended on a disappointing note, though it's good to see Steph only had a few minutes on the mic. Already, some people are complaining about the Vince angle, saying "Oh, it's direspectful to Sherri" or "it's taking up too much time and we don't see as much in ring action as we want." Well, 1.) Get off your fucking high horses. The WWE had no idea Sherri was going to die. Nobody knew Sherri was going to die. End of story. They can't just quit right now, because it would make no sense storyline wise. Besides, you are watching WWE, you don't expect morality or good taste from something Vince McMahon is responsible for. 2.) I can understand people not liking that the storyline is taking up too much airtime. If you don't like that, go watch TNA. They are known more for in ring action. Until then, I will continue to enjoy the stupidity and awesomeness of the "Vince is dead" storyline, as well as the return of Snitsky next week.
Come on folks, it's predetermined. You know it, I know it, anybody with brain matter knows it. So don't take it so seriously. Either enjoy it or don't watch it. It's that easy. I don't watch wrestling to complain about it on the internet. I watch it to be entertained by good matches and goofy storylines.
-In music, I've been listening to a lot of what is referred to as No Wave, as well as a lot of old Punk-Funk and Mutant Disco music. Seriously, this is some geat stuff.
-Also, I've been listening to a lot of Blac Sabbath, or at least three albums: Black Sabbath, Master of Reality, and Vol. 4. I'd say Vol. 4 is their best: The riffs are great, the lyrics are top notch, and it just flat out rocks.
-I was listening to the song "Fuck Wit Dre Day" last night, and I noticed something: Dr. Dre and co. seem to like to talk about gay sex. Examples:
Homophobia and dissing opponents, or something else? Either way, I love the album The Chronic, but this is a pretty gay song when you think about it. Not even Elton John wrote anything that gay.
9 p.m.
• I’m smelling left-wing conspiracy here to take God out of our society.
• I don’t go to casinos, but are there such do-not-allow-me-in-the-building laws in the States? (This case was from across the Pond.)
• Arena football may be back in Shittsburgh, baby.
I remember years ago we had the Gladiators. Never went to a game. Never cared. I heard on the radio today they moved to Tampa. I did a quick Wikipedia and noticed the Gladiators lost Arena Bowls I and III, but have won five since moving to Flordia, including one right after setting up shop in Tampa.
This was funny.
Makes me wonder if the possibility of getting an Arena Football team would have been likely if there wasn’t going to be a new arena built. OMG THE ARENA WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST FOR THE PENGUINS!
8:45 p.m.
• Oh no another GOP defection~!
Whatever. He was never a Republican anyway – just some Dem who jumped over to avoid some commie-fest Democrat primary. I don’t care if he runs or not. I wouldn’t vote for the guy.
• R.I.P. Barker beauties.
I wonder how Rosie would react if some contestant in military uniform would get out of that first-round guess-the-closest-price stage and end up next to her. I'm also quite sure there won't be any little old ladies giving her pecks on the cheek. Then again, old people don't know where they are half the time anyway.
11 a.m.
• And who says crime doesn't reach our more rural regions? Oh Somerset County.
And now for the "meat" of the story.
But that's not all...
10 p.m.
• OK kiddie, gather around. It's time to play...
...what will the defense lawyer say this time?
If you said...
You win ... nothing.
Oh, here is some more notable stuff.
8 p.m.
• So what skin at TSM are you in?
Still with the old-school blue.
7:30 p.m.
• So the guy from South America won the U.S. Open. Whatever. I watched a little of the tournament this weekend. I actually so this guy play a little Sunday and thought, “Hmm, I never heard of him before. How come nobody is thinking he can win when he’s not that far behind?” What insight.
One thing I’ve been hearing on the PTIs and ATHs of the world whenever a major tournament has a course where the winning score is over par is should courses be that difficult. The people who disagree say they want to see birdies and eagles while those on the other side of the coin want to see the best golfers in the world struggle. Where do I fall in this debate? Who cares what the final score is – it’s not like half the players go on a different course while the other half have to struggle/excel on another 18 holes. Like I’ve said before, I don’t follow golf except for watching the occasional major, so I have no clue as to this sport’s intricacies. Everyone has to play the same 18 holes, although I’m sure there could be a difference in the greens from when the first guy of a day’s event gets on to the final golfer makes his putt. Nevertheless, I don’t get the whining if a course doesn’t offer up birdies every hole. If that’s the case, then go for pars. Big deal. Eh, I’m getting too far into this topic in relation to how I care about it.
• I saw an interesting segment on ESPN yesterday about these three chicks and their nudy pics, or refusal to do such photographs. One chick (Amanda Beard) is doing Playboy. Another (Brandi Chastain) didn’t go nude, but had some other risqué shots done. Then there was another who just appeared in a swimsuit (Jennie Finch). Hey, if a female athlete wants to show off what she’s got then more power to her. Sure some people might think that this “cheapens” her on-the-field successes, but so what? I’m sure most guys thumbing through a magazine to get to a chick’s centerfold wouldn’t be caring much about how she won Olympic gold or a professional title. I wouldn’t care to see some female athlete in a nudy magazine; the outfits many of them wear reveal enough to keep me happy. Actually, I’d rather have them clothed because it leaves more to the imagination. With that being said, I might as well rank in order the kinds of female athletes I like to oogle as of 7:30 p.m. on Monday, June 18.
Soccer chicks: By far my favorite, although goalies and some defenders can be a bit butch. The toned upper torsos, the powerful legs, the sweaty bodies, the ability to get on their knees at a moment’s notice … excuse me for a few minutes while I have to feed the cats. Yeah, the cats.
Volleyball chicks: What I really like about this sport is that there are several varieties. You got the short spunky ones who jump 10 feet in the air to serve or spike, and you also have the thicker ones who set and block. Please note I’m talking about indoor volleyball athletes. Those Pro Beach competitors just seem too lanky.
Swimming chicks: I feel a bit guilty about ranking this group third because they have an advantage with getting to wear bathing suits, but whatever. It’s not their fault they need to be in shape for this sport.
Tennis chicks: While I enjoy watching women’s volleyball and soccer, I probably like watching women’s tennis the most out of any female sport, especially when compared to the amount of time I spend watching this sport’s male counterparts. At least in the women’s sport they seem to volley more, and I’m not going to complain about the outfits, either, although I was never a big Anna Kournikova fan.
Softball chicks: Over the last few years I’ve been drawn to women’s softball. Much like the soccer chicks, there are some big girls on these teams, but someone’s got to play catcher. If only they grabbed their crotches more while playing they might have been able to move up a spot or two.
I didn’t include track and field chicks on this list because, well, I don’t watch this shit. Ditto basketball. I haven't seen enough golf to make a decision one way or the other. I've seen some of those women on the LPGA and ... shudder. I'm sure there are hotter up-and-comers to be had, and I'm sure they will get the publicity when the time is right.
Now what do all thewomen’s sports I ranked have in common? Surprisingly enough, they are all sports I don’t mind watching just for the sporting element itself. Yeah, I know, I just spent a few hundred words talking about T&A, but I also actually like watching each of these women’s sports from time to time. Except for swimming. I’m a perv when it comes to this one. Sorry.
-Apparently, some people are taking the "Death" of Vince a little too seriously, sending letters to the company and calling them. I already posted this picture, but:
Anywho, this is still awesome, or at least for the time being. I enjoy great in ring work as much as the next smark, but this is the kind of thing I love: Stories that are incredibly stupid, but are still fun because of their stupidity. Let's face it, while the WWE has done things that are so dumb they're dumb (Katie Vick, operating on "J.R.s ass"), they are also masters of so dumb it's great. And nobody does this like the WWE. What does NWA TNA have: VKM trying to sabatoge WWE shows. Granted, DX did the same thing, but it still doesn't excuse TNA's boredome factor, or at least to me.
-Now, onto music: Last time, I mentioned the worst albums of the year so far, yet I forgot to mention the new one from The Stooges albu. Granted, they haven't done an album together since the early 70's, but it still sucks, especially considering that this is the band that gve us Funhouse and Raw Power.
I also mentioned Timbaland's Shock Value.and whoo boy, is that bad. Granted, he's not a bad producer, but he should stick to that. There isn't a single interesting moment on here, from the song "Bounce" (no Missy Elliot, I don't want to see your ass n' titties. Nobody wants to) to collaborating with Fall Out Boy (who deserve a special place in hell for covering "Love will Tear us Apart), and the list goes on. This and the new Stooges albums are the years worse so far, though Timbaland wins it for the album being a ridiculous achivement in ego.
-What's the wort new show on TV? Why, its "Lil' Bush", the new cartoon on Comedy Central. Using tired "BUSH IZ STOOPID" and Bill Clinton jokes that went out as soon as Billy boy left office, as well as the worst attempts at political satire since Rolling Stone in the past few years, even the biggest Bush hater will hate this pile of shit. Unless you are Rolling Stone, who seem to like the show. Yeah, it's not like they are still relevent or anything...
1. Raw drafts Brian Kendrick and Paul London
This draft harkens back to the memorable NFL draft of 1976 when the Minnesota Vikings drafted the entire offensive line of the University of Oklahoma with their first pick. It was a brilliant move then and a brilliant move now.
2. Smackdown drafts Kenny Dykstra
Good move drafted a pick here with a lot of upside. Kenny's name has a 2:0 K/BB ratio, a great sign for an up and coming young prospect. However, Dykstra leaves trails of tobacco juice in the outfield and some of his ideas come well out of left field. Injuries are a concern.
3. ECW drafts Viscera
Poor pick here from the ECW brand. Just like Big Val E. Puccio and Sal E. Graziano, Viscera will show ECW why big fat f*cks in wrestling don't age well, if at all.
4. Raw drafts The Sandman
The Sandman's 4-9 record looks unimpressive but his caliber of competition has been strong and he did win at Wrestlemania. If the Sandman can kick his smoking and drinking habits, he might finally realize the potential we all saw back in Joel Goodhart's Tri-State promotion years ago.
5. Smackdown selects Ryan Leaf
Awful. Awful pick. What the hell are they thinking?
6. ECW drafts the Miz.
He's still better than Justin Credible.
7. Raw drafts Daivari.
Raw must now decide whether to develop Daivari as a wrestler or as a manager. His wrestling skills are solid enough presently but scouts worry that his clothesline is too long and big-league wrestlers can make him swing and miss with it too often. As a manager, Daivari could not handle the Great Khali and one of my correspondents says, "how can he manager when he can't even manage him?" Yeah, I've since fired that guy.
8. Smackdown drafts the Major Brothers
Oh c'mon now. You really expect me to care? I'm getting something to eat.
9. Raw selects Willie Regal
Solid pick. His father Steven was a big star in World Championship Wrestling last century, and if William can tap into those bloodlines he can go far.
10. Smackdown selects Victoria
I'm going to dip into serious mode here a second. Melina is the top ladies' heel on Raw. Allowing Victoria to move to Smackdown where she can fill the same role is beneficial for all involved.
11. Raw selects Jillian Hall
This is why ECW skipped, because you can find better talent on the indies. Remember when we heard WCW was hiring 10-20 women and we all laughed at the utter stupidity?
Oh yeah, something smart alecky to say. Screw it. I've honestly NEVER seen this woman on tv.
12. Smackdown drafts Eugene.
Eugene? That's retarded. Good athlete but not much upstairs. Kind of like Kyle Drabek.
13. ECW drafts Johnny Nitro
*You must be a TSM Insider to view the rest of this article*
9:30 p.m.
• Yeah, too bad if these kids got killed by the cops you wouldn't be saying this "now's not the time for blame" shit.
Here's my favorite part.
I think God was trying to tell you that you're a shitty mother and your kids are better up there with him than down there with you.
Living about 30 miles from the area, this has gotten a good deal of coverage (I made a remark about this story last week), and, if the rumors are true, it sounds like the two mothers would lock their kids up while they would go to the nearby bar.
1:45 p.m.
• Dedicated to the recently hitched Smitty and SFA Jack. Not to each other, though. Although I wouldn't be surprised if Smitty lives for the cock.
So Friday my old lady sends the better half and I an anniversary gift: some money. Whatever. I’m not 10 anymore but you never look a gift check in the mouth, or at least until after it clears. Last night when I got home from work Mrs. kkk struck up the following conversation regarding said windfall.
Her: “You know what I was thinking we could do with that money? Since we weren’t expecting it, we could use it to buy a new door for the back porch.”
Me: “You know what I was thinking we could do with that money? Pay off credit-card debt.”
There was a moment of silence, then she responds with this: “Well, I don’t want to put the new screen door in the back until we replace that back door first.”
Here’s some backstory. While paying off the better half’s credit-card debt, we made an agreement that she could get two screen doors this summer to replace the shitty ones that came with the house when we bought it in 2004. Well, these new doors we recently bought aren’t screen doors, but whatever. They’re those secondary doors where when you open the main door your cats can look outside with no problems. Here's the one we got for the front entrance.
Side note: I would like to point out that the old front screen door did have a huge rip in it because Dessa (pictured bottom left) got out a few months ago and decided that she didn’t like it out there, ripped a hole in the screen, jumped in-between the two doors and cried until one of us realized she was no longer in the house. Back to my story.
Of course, the cost of these things (one for the front door, one for the back) was more than what Mrs. kkk said they were going to be. Big shock there. But here’s my favorite part. After making my remark up above, she then mentions that she now wants to replace the main back door before putting on the back screen door. When did we decide on this shit? Is that supposed to be some kind of threat that oh no we have a screen door paid for but won’t install it until we go out and buy another door? My response to her response to my first response to her first response.
“OK, then the screen door will stay in the garage.”
Yeah, I have no idea how she ended up with $20k in credit-card debt. The really sad thing is that we’ve almost finished paying off the aforementioned debt and now she’s thinking it’s time to go out and accrue more expenses.
Here’s another example of wedded bliss that took place early in the week on the way home from work. I’m sure you can figure out who is who in this conversation.
“What’s wrong with your mouth?”
“I cut my lip”
“What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it – it’s stupid.”
“No, what happened?”
“I did something stupid and paid the price.”
“What was it?”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Come on, what was it.”
“I cut myself licking a noodle off my Campbell’s soup can during lunch at work today.”
“Why did you do that?”
“I said before I wasn’t thinking when I did it.”
“You know you’re not supposed to do that. You could get hurt doing that. That was stupid.”
“No shit.”
“Why would you do something about that?”
“I said before I wasn’t thinking when I did it.”
“I can’t believe you did something that stupid.”
“I said before I wasn’t thinking when I did it.”
“You not going to get any sympathy from me.”
“When was I asking for any?”
The rest of the conversation is a blur. All I remember is at some point she said, “why am I with you?” Later on I turned up the car radio and connected a few right crosses to her face. Then again, I think this isn’t so much “wedded bliss,” rather than it being “together with someone for 10 years” bliss.
“I do.” Ain’t those two little words a bitch? Happy matrimony, guys.
I justy noticed my USA Today insert that's in my Sunday paper has a cover story talking about "Marriage and Money." Oh this should be good.
This just in. Right as I'm typing, the better half just came in and said, "honey, I just hit myself in the head off the house." Oh this should be even better. DEVELOPING...
11:15 p.m.
• So I just spent the last 11 hours finishing up the monthly publication that I’m responsible for producing. There’s no way I’m looking at a computer screen anymore tonight.
• Good.
Fuck him. Nothing else needs to be said on this matter, other than I can’t wait for the students to start suing him. That’ll be a sight to see.
12:30 a.m.
• So here’s an update on the “Aussie Prince.” For those that don’t know, here’s a recap.
Well, today I found out that this couple isn’t divorced, but they are no longer living together. Oh, yeah. The Aussie Prince told the not-quite-ex-wife that he now has a “great job,” bought a new car and moved into a house. All within a month. Boy, that bitch was sure holding him back.
• OK, now this is scary. From Dave Ramesy’s Web page that features testimonials from people who made stupid decisions with their money:
I’m 31 and this person who is just three years older than me has a 14-year old? Now granted that means this chick squirted out the kid when she was 20, but still. Makes me glad I’m not responsible for another life, outside of the better half and three cats.
8 p.m.
• Oh get over yourselves.
I’ve never played this game, but I’m sure including this cathedral in the game isn’t meant to mock your precious cathedral. Jesus Christ. In fact, I’m sure this is the only time most of the people playing this game have seen the inside of a church.
Well lookie here at the next paragraph of this story.
What if you fight the aliens with gamma blasters or laser arrows instead of guns -- would that be OK?
7:30 p.m.
• Good. Fuck you and your $54 million pants.
• Interesting.
This guy was about to buy the Penguins when the sale fell through at the last minute. Looks like Shittsburgh dodged a bullet, at least when it came to keeping its hockey team here.
• Can we sue parents for making their kids fat?
The last time I checked, kids don’t spend their allowance on Frosted Flakes. Parents do. Jesus Christ, the health Nazis have already begun its initial blitzkrieg. Do I advocate fat kids? No. But it shouldn’t be the job of the business to play parent. Hell, with these cereals supposedly being “more healthy,” I’m sure a number of parents out there will feed their kids TWICE as many Rice Krispies servings as before.
Last night Tampa Bay's Edwin Jackson lasted 1/3 of an inning, giving up five runs, five hits, two walks, and two home runs. Currently his ERA stands at 8.20 along with a gaudy 0-8 win/loss record. Anthony Reyes of the St. Louis Cardinals was also 0-8 upon his return to the minors. Four pitchers in the Majors collected ten or more wins in a season without a loss. How about on the opposite end, the pitchers with the most losses in a season without a win? Are Jackson and Reyes close?
1 Terry Felton 1982 13 0 4.99 -11
T2 Russ Miller 1928 12 0 5.42 -12
T2 Steve Gerkin 1945 12 0 3.62 -4
4 Charlie Stecher 1890 10 0 10.32 -48
T5 Tom Tuckey 1909 9 0 4.25 -17
T5 Rod Beck 1996 9 0 3.34 6
T5 Heathcliff Slocumb 1997 9 0 5.16 -4
T5 Earl Hamilton 1917 9 0 3.14 -5
T5 Stump Wiedman 1880 9 0 3.40 -15
T5 Edgar Gonzalez 2004 9 0 9.32 -25
Very close. The first column is the season, second is number of losses, third is wins, fourth is Earned Run Average and fifth is Runs Saved Above Average (RSAA). RSAA simply measures the runs above or below what a pitcher with a league average ERA would have allowed in similar innings. Rod Beck immediately strikes me as he pitched well in 1996, posting a 3.34 ERA. Looking at his gamelogs from that season, Beck entered the game just 7 times with his teams behind, 6 times with the game tied and 50 times with his team ahead. Talk about being setup to fail.
Terry Felton is baseball's hard luck man. Felton pitched in three other seasons for the Minnesota Twins, finishing with an 0-16 record.
Jackson is close, but the problem is that pitchers of this nature are unlikely to continue pitching. He may well have pitched himself out of the rotation in favor of Jason Hammel at this point. If Jackson is out, he falls well short of the mark of pitching futility. The standard remains Steve Blass, who lasted 88.7 innings with an ERA of 9.85 in 1973.
Rain Delay
Most of you know I went to Raw on Monday. Tuesday I attended the Scranton/Durham game, on assignment from Baseball Info Solutions. I've been working my other job 730-5 all week, so the lack of sleep Monday night hurt. Still I figured, at least I'd get home a bit earlier from the game, right? Rain was in the forecast, but I didn't figure they would wait two hours to finish up a game. In the top of the eighth, the game resumed with maybe 50 fans in attendance, along with the stadium staff. All for seven more outs of baseball. Dustin Mohr created a scare in the ninth when he hit a home run shot 20 feet foul. Imagine that game going into extra innings. With such a small crowd, you can hear the game chatter from the field. It's certainly a unique experience and I like it in a way. It's too bad you have to sit through crappy weather to get to it.
-I watched "Smoking Aces" last night. Here's another movie that runs out of steam in the last third or so, complete with a dreadful plot twist. Still, I think it's worth checking out at least one. Alicia Keyes is in it (and absoulutely smoking hot), as are the funniest pair of Neo -Nazi brothers ever, Jason Bateman (I did not need to see him in bra and panties) and a hyperactive kid on ritalin who does kung fu and pops a major boner.
-Iran hates porn apparently, and is hanging those who are pornstars. Come on, at least have respect for the Pornstars. The fact that they do what they do is an impressive mix of bravery and lack of self confidence.
I knew a guy back in High School who wanted to be a pornstar. I wonder if he ever realized that many male pornstars have to start out by doing gay porn...
-Oh, we're nearing the middle of 2007, and there's been some good, and some bad, and some so-so in the music front. Here's the general thoughts on it:
Good and great:
LCD Soundsystem-Sound of Silver
Grinderman-Grinderman
Boris & Michio Kurihara-Rainbow
!!!-Myth Takes
Jesu-Conqueror
Motor-Unhuman
Redman-Red Gone Wild: Thee Album
Merzbow-Coma Berenices
Nine Inch Nails-Year Zero (Never liked them, but this is a great album)
So-so:
Air-Pocket Symphony
Queens of the Stone Age-Era Vulgaris (great album title though)
Sister Vanilla-Little Pop Rock
Throbbing Gristle-Part Two - The Endless Not (Apparently, the first and original industrial band should have stayed away from each other. A real disappointment, though there's some good moments)
Explosions in the Sky-All the Sudden I Miss Everyone
Bjork-Volta
The Bad:
Timbaland-Timbaland Presents Shock Therapy (Worst album of 2007 so far)
The Bravery-The Sun and the Moon
Adult-Why Bother? (Why bother indeed)
Dntel-Dumb Luck
Mika-Life in Cartoon Motion
Marilyn Manson-Eat Me, Drink Me (Granted, he always sucked, but now it's just embarrising. At least it's not as bad as Golden Age of Grotesque.)
Satellite Party-Satellite Party (Perry, it's time to just stop.)
The new Chris Cornell album
10:30 p.m.
• So I was curious to see what the score is of Game 4 of the NBA Finals.
39-34 Spurs.
At halftime.
• Hey, Sidney Crosby won the NHL MVP Award. Good for him.
• It’s been a while since I’ve listened to Dave Ramsey ever since the Jesus radio station took him off because they are a bunch of Jews and didn’t want to pay the man. He has his programs archived on his Web site, but I’ve always been too lazy to listen. Tonight I remembered/got motivated enough to download a few hours. Boy do I miss this show. First caller off the bat: a single mother missed three $600 mortgage payments and her shyster sub-prime lender is charging her $8,000 in fees. Oh yeah, her interest rate is 10 percent. What the fuck is wrong with people? I’m tired of saying “DON’T BUY A HOUSE IF YOU CAN’T GET A DECENT FIXED RATE FROM A REPUTABLE LENDER.”
But I’ll still say it anyway.
Oh, lookie here.
10 p.m.
• So the fourth starter on my Single-A MVP 2005 team just gave up back-to-back-to-back home runs in a 7-3 loss where two other round-trippers were smacked out by the other team. Well I know someone who isn’t headed to the big leagues anytime soon.
6 p.m.
• Oh boy, a copy-from-the-Drudge Report twin spin!
Pity, and I have applauded Angelina’s humanitarian work with the United jew-hating Nations in the past. I don’t quite get the point of making a movie about the Wall Street Journal reporter who got his head chopped off – it’s not like we are unaware of the end. Then again, that movie dealing with the boat which hit an iceberg made a few dollars.
• Please.
I’m willing to be my government-school education that this kid was a fucking brat throughout the year and this was the teacher’s way of getting back at the little bastard. “Sir Clowns-a-Lot”? Come on. Then again, I did spit out my Crystal Light Iced Tea when I read “Most Likely Not To Have Children.” And what the hell is with this “Words cut deeper than any knife could,” shit spewing out of his stepfather’s mouth? No wonder this kid is fucked up.
• Neglect wasn't the issue? YOU LEFT YOUR KID IN THE FUCKING CAR!
You know, maybe the solution to leaving kids in the car is putting them in carriers like we do with cats. (Whenever JJ has a vet appointment, there's no way him and his mouth are going to be abandoned in the back seat.) After all, if you see some cumbersome container you might actually be reminded that you’re leaving your kid – that little human who lives with you – in the car. Plus the tyke will probably be screaming due to the confinement. Better to be alive and screaming than silent and dead. Then again, I might rethink my last sentence the next time I’m by the dairy area and hear some brat scream from the produce section.
Monday I attended the show live in Wilkes-Barre, PA. I've been busy recently so I have been unable to post my thoughts in full until now. I have the show recorded on DVR but I haven't watched it yet. Therefore my conception of what I watched might be slightly different than what aired on television.
Dark match: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch d. Cryme Time. Good little tag match.
All of the matches were good save Candice vs. Krystal. Benoit/Lashley was fun, and there was some pro-Benoit sentiment in the arena. John Cena got his fair share of boos but there were mostly Cena supporters. Honestly, I think Cena gets booed more because it's the cool thing to do than anything he really does. The Hardy Boys were both quite over.
We got Snitsky, the hometown product. Snitsky got quite a few cheers and certainly the Miz was not going to steal his thunder. The reverse-decision was nonsense though. Here in the Pocono Mountains, you're allowed to continue beating on your opponent. It's kind of a reward.
Overall, considering appearances by Roddy Piper and Dusty Rhodes, I feel like I hit the jackpot in getting this show in my area. A tremendous night of wrestling overall.
7:45 p.m.
• What a bunch of pussies.
Well I guess this makes sense. Rush and his ilk cause global warming, so why should these listeners be warned when a hurricane they helped create comes over and wipes them out with no warning?
7:15 p.m.
• So there’s this semi-local restaurant called Eat ‘n Park. It’s got a number of locations, but it’s regional. Anyway, they have this stupid mascot thing called Smiley, named after their smiley cookies. What is it? A cookie with frosting that makes it look like there’s a happy face. Well last night the better half wanted to go to the Eat ‘n Park across from the grocery store we go to every Tuesday afternoon. Turns out that was the time Mr. Smiley was paying a visit to that restaurant. And the place was PACKED with kids all screaming "SMILEY!"
Believe it or not, I wasn’t that annoyed. I normally don’t mind noisy kids if they’re having fun. That’s what kids are supposed to do, after all. It’s the ones that throw temper tantrums that I want to smack upside the head with a brick. Well, as Mr. Smiley was making his rounds, Mrs. kkk made some remark about Mr. Smiley, and just to be an asshole I said I’d break Mr. Smiley’s leg and shout out to all these brats, “Where’s your Smiley now?” This of course brought the usual, “You hate everything that’s good and wholesome in this world.” I normally respond with a pedophile priest joke, but this time my retort was, “So what’s your point?” I then added we should go to another local restaurant because their mascot better resembled my attitude. And just what is this other mascot?
The Frownie.
Good God is this a fucking retarded character. It makes the Mr. Smiley marketing concept look like those three Budweiser frogs from the mid-90s. You know Bud … Weis … Er. (And I didn't even like those frogs to begin with.) The Frownie’s restaurant, which is called King’s, has this thing included in a number of its billboards making some pseudo-sarcastic comment. For example, there’s one billboard I drive by every day on the way home from work pimping some kind of sandwich, and the Frownie is saying, “Nice Buns.” Who comes up with this shit? And don’t get me started on the television commercials.
Too late.
"That’s one mean dessert?" Fuck around with my sales reports and I’d be putting your right hand through the paper shredder. Bitch.
7 a.m.
• I didn't watch last nights NBA game but I heard on the radio today that LeBron got fouled when he took his last shot. A clip was then played after the game with James being asked a question about that play, and he replied "incidental contact." Well played, even though from what I've gathered last night's game was not.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 22: Danny Dubya
A fellow Keystone stater, even though I don’t recall chatting it up much with him at TSM, we’ve gotten into it much more at the other place, where he is better known as Dubs. Because he’s from the other side of Pennsylvania, Dubs has got his head so far up Fast Eddie’s ass that he can peek out every time Rendell opens his mouth. What do you expect? The eastern part of this state is so contaminated with Democrats that if Three Mile Island would have had a full meltdown it would improve the region. Wait, Three Mile Island is more toward the central of the state. Shit. Oh well, you know what I’m talking about. Nevertheless, even though Dubs will take any chance he can get to slob on Eddie’s knob, he at least has enough common sense to shoot down the governor’s stupid-ass referendums that would really fuck us over. Then again, giving these people the power to try and do this shit in the first place is bad enough.
And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Cancer Marney:
9:30 p.m.
• Oh fuck you.
Yeah, your woman isn't putting butts in the seats and now you're blaming us for not watching cBS because we're all SEXIST~! It can't be because she's a polarizing feminazi, could it? Nah.
Ha. So you were hoping to bring in more chicks and only got the slightest of increases. Are these female non-viewers sexist, too? LOL at the 11 percent drop in male viewers, too. I can only pray this will be the same when Hitlery gets the Democrat nomination for president.
7:45 p.m.
• So what was the big story in the Shittsburgh area today? Was it a fire that killed five children and was reported on national newscasts? Hell no. It was an incident that happened two months ago when the city’s 27-year old mayor crashed a private event to get his picture taken with Tiger Woods.
Luke went on the local RIGHT-WING RADIO show this afternoon to defend what he did, adding that the reporter got his facts wrong. Is this true? Who knows, who cares. I found the whole thing funny as hell, and I shot off a letter to the RIGHT-WING RADIO host saying that Luke was probably training to be Pennsylvania’s next Lieutenant Governor. Within minutes of sending it, the host read it over the air waves and laughed. Woo-hoo.
For those that don’t get the joke, peep this entry from a while back.
