8:30 p.m.
• So the fat dyke is mad because the Republican on the show wouldn't defend her blathering?
I care more about making sure all the stool from my browneye is wiped off after taking a crap than I do about anything that goes on the "View," but this is hilarious. Maybe that Hasselbeck chick thinks you are a fucking loon and thus doesn't care what the RIGHT-WING pundits on cable news shows have to say about you. Now I have to go yell at EricMM for not defending me when Jobber of the Week called me a fucking idiot because I said that driving SUVs to the grocery store was great for the environment.
1:30 p.m.
• And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). This guy named Pablo gets on the air with his wife and tells the following story. They went to some event that was work-related and went to a bar afterward with some of his co-workers. His wife can’t find him for an hour, and when she finally sees Pablo, he’s with some chick who gives him a hug and kiss on the cheek. Pablo says this lady is a client of one of his co-workers, and although he has a clear recollection of that night’s events he can’t remember why she hugged/kissed him and what he was doing for that hour when he was M.I.A. He also doesn't understand why his wife, the mother of his kid, is upset. Oh, Pablo.
8:30 a.m.
• And to think the Steelers don't even hire cheeleaders.
7 a.m.
• Uh … OMGWESTCOASTBIAS~?
Don’t care. I know Boston tanked their games at the end to get a better chance at the draft's top pick, so payback’s a bitch (not sure how Memphis, Portland and Seattle played down the home stretch). Who do I take: Oden or Durant. Christ, I don’t know. I don’t watch college basketball unless it’s in late March, I hope everyone that gets drafted makes lots of money. So there.
• I watched the first period of the Wings/Ducks game last night, and wow were there quite a few empty seats, much like there was back in Game 4. I remember a while Bill Plaschke said on Around the Horn that the L.A. Times were no longer assigning someone to a Anaheim Ducks beat, and now I understand why.
-Last Friday, I finally got to see the crazy preacher dude I told you about last time. The guy himself is a riot, and dances around a whole lot. Really, he does a little footwork. He also has a tendancy to smack his bible and shove it in people's faces. Anyways, he railed on and on about homosexuals (I hear he did a lot of ranting about Catholics when I wasn't there), so I told him "You know, gor a guy who rails on about homosexuals a lot, you sure do have a pretty gay hat." Afterwards, a gay guy walked up to me and said "I agree with ya dude." I haven't seen the crazy preacher since, though next time, I'll probably recite the theme from "Fresh Prince of Bell Air" to him.
-I do have an excuse for not doing many journal entries lately: I've been knee deep in homework. I've had to finish reports, and finals are coming up, so there's the sad excuse.
-Good news: "Masters of Horror" has been renewed for a third season.
-Finally, Italian exploitation and horror director Bruno Mattei (aka "Vincent Dawn") has died. While none of his movies ("Hell of the Living Dead", "The Other Hell", "SS Extermination Love Camp", and "Rats: Night of Terror") were actually good, they were at least so good they were bad, in a MST3K sort of way.
1931-2007
Rome was just talking about LeBron James and how he demonstrated that he is no Michael Jordan by passing the end-of-the-game last second shot off to a teammate instead of taking the shot himself. Rome is a complete ass. How can someone who purports to have a deep knowledge of sports make such an idiotic comment? Has he never heard of John Paxton and Steve Kerr? Jordan in fact passed off a last second shot not once, but twice, to the aforementioned players, during the post-season.
Oh, update, 12:20--now he's mentioning Paxton and Kerr, someone must have clued him in...starting to backtrack slightly...but he's still sticking to his take! Ah, he's "in that situation, he has to take the shot". Um, Jordan did so "in that situation" you dumbass. He's stuck, he made his signature 'take' and now he can't back off it. Hilarious. Yeah, better move on to the O.J. suit story.
Speaking of sports talk show hosts, they really are all a bunch of extremely jealous wanna-bees. Guys who played in high school and could never make it to college or the pros. So they end up talking about it instead of doing it.
And most of them (not all by any means) no very little about breaking down sports and being knowledgeable about which team or player is better, etc. The PTI guys are a prime example--they know nothing about sports. Now, I don't either, but I can tell when someone else doesn't. Yesterday they said if the Pistons shut down LeBron James, they win, guaranteed. Well, they nearly lost and James had 4 points total I think, no more than 6 for sure. The Cavs were winning at one point by 10 or 12, with James at that point below 4 points.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 25: Flyboy
I liked the little bugger, in a master-likes-his-slave sort of way. It’s been a while since I chatted with the tyke, but the one thing I will always remember was the time he asked me for help on an assignment. He had to do some weekly hippie “current events” assignment, where, if memory serves, he had to take a current event and compare it to something that happened a while before that. Asking me for schoolwork help – you know a person doesn’t give a shit about his grade when this transpires. After a quick search of the news wires, I told him why not compare the Berlin Wall to the wall that the Jews were building at the time to keep out those pesky Muslims. He liked the idea and went with it – too bad he wasn’t doing an assignment about the U.S. building a wall to keep out Mexicans. Oh, and he likes them white, err, non-black girls, too. Well, except for one, anyway.
3 p.m.
• Swift Terror stole a bit of my thunder regarding some of the media’s comments about LeBron James and his late-game decisions on whether to take the final shot or pass it off to an open teammate. I didn’t watch last night’s Cavs/Pistons game. Well, actually, I turned on the game at halftime, saw the stats, noticed the Cavs were ahead in some key categories like offensive rebounds and points off turnovers and thought “are they in the lead?” I then saw that Cleveland was up by six points. I then watched Detroit score the next seven points at the start of the third quarter and turned off the television.
This morning I had on ESPN’s Mike and Mike on, and the show's skinny Jew was ragging on James for passing it off to other teammates in the game’s final seconds. The first thought that came into my head was Game 6 of the ’93 NBA finals when Jordan dished it off to a wide-open John Paxon for the series-clinching three-pointer (I forgot about Kerr's shot). I haven’t seen the game footage yet from James’ “moment of truth,” but at this time I’m siding with LeBron. If he had taken the shot and missed, or got to the free-throw line and didn’t make both shots, he’d be criticized for A) choking, or B) not passing it to an open teammate. You can make an argument about James not playing better when the game is on the line, but I’m not going to fault him for passing off to teammates who are set and ready to make an open shot.
Even though I listen to Jim Rome’s show and watch his television show (though not on an everyday basis), I had to tune into his third hour and laugh when I heard him defend his take on this subject and include that “well Michael wouldn’t have passed it to Paxon from 23 feet away” and that “Steve Kerr isn’t Donell Marshall.”
• Time for more PETA fun.
You know, I actually agree with PETA on this one. Forget that fact that the article said “Mike (the now deceased tiger) was moved last year into a $3 million home, complete with a bathing pool and waterfall, that offered 15,000 square feet of living space.” I say let the next Mike roam free. Let’s drop him off, at, say, 501 Front Street in Norfolk, Va. Also, let's not feed him before being released, thus allowing Mikey II to experience the thrill of hunting for his food. Then again, exactly how much sustenance can a big kitty get by munching on hippie vegans? Guess that means he’ll have to kill a few more. That’s a shame.
9 a.m.
• Boortz just had a great line regarding Michael Vick and his dog-fighting troubles.
I wonder if the Georgia Dome will be playing "Who Let The Dogs Out" at Falcon home games this year. I'm sure this will be a popular tune on the road. Here's the story if you're not up-to-date on this, or if you don't read Teke's "Vick Updates" at the other place.
Fox News has given Michael Moore's new film "Sicko" a very positive, glowing review . Another example of liberal media bias.
I tuned in to MSNBC the other day and there was Charles McCord and Lou Ruffino, two regulars on Imus in the Morning. WTF? Bernard McGirk was fired along with Imus, but these two are still there? Now, I didn't think any of them should have been fired, but how does MSNBC keep these two? Charles laughed specifically at the nappy-headed ho commment and Lou might have as well, I don't remember, but he certainly didn't protest to Imus or make any comment expressing his disapproval.
Speaking of MSNBC, it appears that Joe Scarborough has changed his tune and is now pretty much a liberal on MSNBC. I'm pretty sure he was a typical Conservative on his former evening show. I heard him apologize to Hillary Clinton and suck up to her.
6:15 p.m.
• Since Smues is talking about perv teachers from back in the day, I felt inspired to tell my story regarding this subject.
I almost failed eighth grade because…
I was an only child.
I had divorced parents.
They were passing a black kid instead of me – damn affirmative action.
Rap music told me school was for bustas.
My government school didn't provide me with an adequate learning environment.
...I was a lazy piece of shit that played video games all day instead of studying (you can't just beat "Ghouls 'n Ghosts" on the first try).
One of the classes I failed was science. I’ve always hated this subject, but this year was especially bad because I hated my teacher. The guy’s name was Mr. Kuniak, and he was one of those “cool” teachers. Or at least he was “cool” with the jocks and cheerleaders and all those other tools that did things like homework and reading from textbooks. Conformists. Anyway, every quarter we got these progress reports called “green sheets.” Generally, the dreaded progress report was sent out in subjects you were failing midway through a grading period, but Mr. Kuniak gave everyone a green sheet that had to be signed by a parent. Of course, while everyone was taking home sheets of paper reading “Johhny is getting 105 percent in my class,” I was failing, and failing bad. These sheets also had to be turned back in within a few days. Of course, I just kept mine and didn’t bother to get it signed or turned in. After a few weeks, and constant badgering from Mr. Kuniak, I finally signed my mom’s name and gave it to him. There was one little problem. I forgot to erase the “Get a woman faggot” sentence I wrote on the green sheet when I first got this document highlighting my academic deficiencies. Oops. As I gave this sheet to him I saw my handiwork and tried to take it away from him. I failed. If I was ever to experience a bowel movement in class, this would have been it. Mr. Kuniak looked at the sheet and the following conversation took place.
“kkk, is this your handwriting?”
“Yes.”
“Erase it. It’s unacceptable.”
That was it.
My friend who was sitting next to me at our lab table took one look at what I wrote and was reduced to years in mere seconds from laughing so hard. You know a teacher doesn’t give a shit about you when they don’t even care you mocked their alleged sexual preference. To add to this story, a few years later, while trying out for the junior varsity team, I found out on the first day of try-outs that Mr. Kuniak was the JV coach. Surprisingly enough, we were quite civil to each other. Maybe he just figured he had to deal with me for a few days before cutting me – my basketball skills weren’t much better than my ability to remember what was on the periodic table. I saw him a few times after that and there didn’t appear to be any leftover hatred. What has this got to do with Smues’ entry? Years after graduating high school, I heard Mr. Kuniak got fired for sexual harassment or something like that from a female student. Do I think he did anything? Dunno. I’m guessing his easy-going nature was probably used against him by some chick who was upset at not getting an A+++. Then again, he might have been banging the color guard all this time without me knowing. One thing’s for certain, though.
I don’t believe he was gay.
12:30 p.m.
• If Jimmy Carter rambles on about the WORST ADMINISTRATION IN OUR HISTORY, and everybody except for Medium-Large Media, pays attention, did he really say it at all?
Bill Clinton talking smack about W. I can understand – at least he had THEGREATESTECONOMYINTHEHISTORYOFTHEWORLD to fall back on. Jimmy, oh Jimmy.
10 a.m.
I’m not ragging on Scroby here – lord knows I have my share of low-paying job stories – it’s just his tale of a video game store boss taking advantage of customers made me chuckle.
It’s funny to think what constitutes taking advantage of a client depending on your line of work. The reason I mention this is that my one idiot boss always fucks over our customers – Scroby's post brought to mind of a situation earlier this year was when the idiot tried to get someone to convert to a different annuity so we could extend that person’s surrender charge. Problem was, that annuity didn’t best serve her. She’s older and the annuity that she was in was a better deal for her, so when my co-worker (who is in charge of financial services in name only) stumbled upon the paperwork for this annuity plan transfer, he immediately contacted this person and got her to keep her current annuity plan. This account was well into five figures and she would have been screwed out of at least $500 per year while having to keep her money with us for another six years in order to avoid early withdrawal penalties if she would have went with the idiot's plan, which could have been illegal because it's likely he didn't tell the customer, among other things, about the extended surrender charge, which is a very big "no-no."
9:30 a.m.
• I might not be going the route you may think I’m going with this one.
No, I don't have a Quickie Mart story of my own that's similar. In fact, I tried to minimize my chatting with Lottery People. I didn't give a shit if there was one scratch-off ticket left on a roll or if a new roll was on display. This is what popped in my head upon reading this story: A Quickie Mart-employed single mother with NINE maxed out credit cards plus almost $9,000 in debt for an ASSOCIATE’S DEGREE plays the lottery. (I’m sure this isn’t the first time she’s spent money on government-sanctioned gambling.) Why am I not surprised? I will give her credit. (Well, maybe not “credit” because she’ll max it out within a week – how about “props?) She went with the 20 payments instead of the lump sum, due to her inability to budget money.
10 p.m.
• Yet another reason why the better half and I better not produce any children (besides the hundreds of other reasons that go something like, “I’m too lazy to be a parent,” “I’d rather spend money on myelf” and “I hate children.”
Yesterday morning the alarm went off and I proceeded to trudge off to the bathroom for my daily shower. We feed the kids early in the morning and before we go to bed at night, so they’ve picked up when feeding time is and when I get up at 6:15 a.m. they start milling around; either that or they directly hop onto Mrs. kkk and start meowing in her face. Well, this morning Max was following me into the bathroom and started hanging out around the toilet. Weired. Before we got a drinking fountain for the three of them, Max would stand around the toilet when he wanted “fresh” running water. I thought nothing of this. As I take my morning shower, the better half feeds Max, Dessa and JJ. Well this morning I guess Max wasn’t eating, which prompted her to be in near-hysterics and telling me he wasn’t eating his dry food. Uh, OK. Now we’ve had some problems with his pee-hole being clogged, but he only lost his appetite when this condition got severe, and he displayed no evidence of having strained litterbox activity. When I got out of the shower I looked into their feeding room and saw that Max was going to town on the water fountain. I asked Mrs. kkk if she gave them fresh water. She said yes. After a while when Max was finished I gave him some of his food, which he ate. I pointed this out to the better half, but she still said she was still “worried.” OK. Well, the special food we buy the three of them contains no filler, so the vet told us that it’s common for them to not eat everything we give them. Going about my Friday morning routine, which included taking any full garbage bags downstairs through the basement and garage and out to the curb. That’s when I figured out why Max probably wasn’t hungry.
There was cat vomit all over the basement floor. But it wasn’t food-related. It was from a nasty hairball (or three) that he must have thrown up last night. Makes sense, considering one of his toys that he usually plays with was nearby. I pointed this out to the better half and let her know that my guess as to last night’s events were as follows:
1) With the warm weather, Max is shedding like a fiend.
2) Max threw up some hairballs and instead of eating he wanted to drink fresh water to get the taste/any irritation out of his system.
Even though he ate after I fed him, he didn’t eat his entire quarter-cup of food, which still prompted the better half to spend the whole day fretting. Of course, at 7:30 p.m. that evening Max began following Mrs. kkk around the house, trying to guide her to their feeding room for an early supper. Oh, and he cleaned his bowl once they all got feed. I asked her afterward, “You still worried, psycho?” Christ, if kkk Jr. ever springs from her loins, that kid will be lucky to be out of his protective bubble for longer than two minutes.
Who were the best team in the history of the St. Louis Browns? Most fans would assume the 1944 club. That team won the only league championship in the club's history. A better choice however would be the 1922 club. Contrary to what you might think, the Browns were not always non-contenders. In 1922, the Browns finished 93-61, a scant game behind the champion New York Yankees. The Yankees that season traded for Joe Dugan mid-season. That trade, coupled with the NY Giants' midseason trade for Hugh McQuillan, prompted protests that New York teams could buy their way to a pennant. Some things never change.
In addition to holding a better record, the 1922 team played in a tougher league than the '44 club. The 1944 Browns benefitted from World War II, which depleted Major League rosters. Not many fans would recognize Stan Spence, Nick Ettel or Johnny Lindell. Those players finished third, fourth and fifth in OPS in the AL. The leaders in OPS in 1922, by comparison, included Babe Ruth, Tris Speaker, George Sisler, Cy Williams and Harry Heilmann. Clearly more talent existed in the league in 1922. But what about that pennant? Honestly, would the 1944 Browns have won the pennant had they faced the 1922 Yankees? Vern Stephens was a superstar, but the rest just doesn't compare to Babe Ruth, Wally Pipp, and the Yanks' excellent pitching staff that year.
Talent wise, the Browns of 1922 had some excellent players. Hall of Famer George Sisler enjoyed his greatest season, hitting .420 with 42 doubles, 18 triples and 51 stolen bases. In the process Sisler struck out a scant 14 times. Young second baseman Marty McManus hit .312 with 11 home runs, and led American League second basemen in OPS. Outfielder Ken Williams slugged .627 with 39 home runs. The Browns led the league in runs scored. On the pitching side, ace Urban Shocker won 24 games. The Browns finished second in runs allowed, behind only the Yankees.
George Sisler missed the following season however, and the Browns never recovered. Urban Shocker and Pat Collins found their way to the Yankees' dynasty, and Hank Severeid was traded to the Washington Senators. Still, for a couple seasons in the '20s the Browns were one of the best teams in the league.
May 12, 2007
Chicago Cubs @ Philadelphia Phillies: Citizens Bank Park
-When it comes to geography, nothing beats Citizens Bank Park for an out-of-towner. PA Turnpike to I-95, and then north to the stadium. You go around Philadelphia rather than through it, and traffic is not bad at all. Compare that to New York City, where congestion begins about 30 miles away and gets progressively worse from there. Parking is expensive ($10) but convenient. The park is extremely easy to access from I-95.
-I brought along three friends, and all were impressed with the park. There is hardly a bad seat in the place. We sat 400-level but behind home plate with a great view of the field. There's a secret to attending baseball games. Your best option for viewing the action is anywhere between third and first base. You get better perspective there than sitting five rows past the outfield fence.
-Every time I see the Phils live they explode. 11 runs in this outing. They scored 10 when I saw them in 2006, and 12 the previous time in 2005.
-I left during the rain delay in the seventh. Delays get harder to wait out when you're making day trips from two hours out. The concourse however becomes absolutely impossible to navigate. It will take you a half hour to get around the stadium, at least.
-You honestly can not beat Citizens Bank Park when it comes to ambiance and amenities. Concessions are expensive but not outrageous. $11 will get you a BBQ pork sandwich, a diet coke, and an autograph from Greg "The Bull" Luzinski.
-One actual baseball note. Why teams will run on Shane Victorino I will never understand.
May 13, 2007
Columbus Clippers @ Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees: PNC Field
-The International League gives you the opportunity to see some fun players. Some are guys who should be in the majors (Colter Bean). Some are guys who could've made it with a bit of luck, but are still worth watching (Jim Rushford). And there are some who could not make it in the Majors. Chris Michalak is 36 years old. He's gotten 191 MLB innings, produced a 4.70 ERA (average for his run-scoring environments), but can never stick with a club. The reason is simple. He throws an 81 mph fastball. I love watching him pitch though. He's not masterful like Jamie Moyer. He just throws strikes that get hit right at guys. And he works fast. Hitters have trouble adjusting to his slow stuff and by the time they do, it's time for the flame throwing reliever. On this night he managed five shutout innings, leaving after 53 pitches. I figure his team didn't want to push him as he just returned from a quad injury. I get the feeling watching him that he could be Chris Hammond.
-One hour into the game, we were in the top of the fifth. The game lasted 2:50. That should give you an indication of the relative quality. Chris Booker pitched two innings for the save. Booker throws 95 mph but it's straight and he has no secondary pitch. It took Booker 54 or so pitches to get those last six outs. Compare that with Michalak. Both teams combined for 14 walks, and five errors. Just horrid, horrid baseball.
May 14, 2007
Same teams, same field.
-Same game really except the Yankees won a blowout. The lack of competition made the slow pace more painful. This game took three hours, ending at 10pm. When you get out and hit road construction right off, gah! Especially when your schedule has you out the door at 7am the next morning.
-Mike Bacsik pitched for Columbus. Around the twelfth batter I noticed he had thrown first-pitch strikes to two batters. That's a recipe for disaster. Sure enough, Bacsik surrendered three home runs in the fourth. Bacsik is a good pitcher, throws strikes and flyballs. Sometimes that will get you killed though, as it did this night. Honestly, the Clippers are the Washington Nationals' farm team. If these guys can't make the Nats, how good can they be?
-Two years ago (May 12, 2005), I saw the Reds and Phillies play. Dave Miley was the Reds' manager and D'Angelo Jimenez their starting second baseman. Fast-forward, Miley is managing Scranton and Jimenez is playing for Columbus. During a break in the action Miley (coaching third) and Jimenez (playing third) were seen conversing. It's good to see some old partnerships come up again.
The buzz around Scranton is that Roger Clemens is scheduled to start on Memorial Day. Whether that is for the AAA club or the big club is yet to be seen. I don't have that game, so not seeing Rodge won't bother me. In fact, it would be fun to see Clemens skip Scranton just because of the hype he's received.
Next game is Sunday, Reading against Portland. Ryan Madson is pitching rehab.
8 p.m.
• So in the mornings on the way to work, the better half no longer lets me listen to the local RIGHT-WING RADIO guy. It’s not that she hates the host, it’s because she HATES the female co-host. What do we listen to instead? ESPN’s Mike and Mike in the Morning. Why? Because their voices “relax her.” Whatever. Now generally I can tolerate these two, but today they were getting on my last nerve. I guess this weekend is inter-league play for Major League Baseball. In fact, it’s RIVALRY WEEKEND. Whatever. These two dolts on the radio were rating each of these MLB RIVALRIES. Uh, guys, just because two teams play in the same city/state and in different leagues does not a rivalry make. The Indians and Reds are NOT a rivalry. The Cubs and Cardinals are. The Devil Rays and Marlins are NOT a rivalry. The Yankees and Red Sox are. I can’t stand it when the media try to manufacture hype with this inter-league shit.
The other thing that got on my nerves this morning was the talk about Kyle Farnsworth talking about Roger Clemens’ “family friendly” work schedule.
This of course got the Mikes’ panties in a wad. How DARE someone actually give their opinion. If Farnsworth would have said, “It doesn’t matter because we’re all a team, not I’m going to go out there and give my 110 percent,” these sportscasters would be bitching about how everybody’s afraid to speak their mind. It’s not like Farnsworth said he’s going to beat up the Rocket for getting a deal that any starting pitcher would take in a heartbeat. I understand the whole “don’t talk bad about your teammates” rule, but it’s not like Farnsworth is on the Giants and told a radio host that Bonds is a roided-up freak. Talk about making something out of nothing.
• Honestly, who really gives a shit?
And if only we used more stem cells, I bet Honest Abe could have leaped tall buildings in a single bound.
• Well no kidding.
Of course there’s the ol’ double standard. Is this really a surprise? However, the next sentence got a laugh out of me.
So white supremacists are “mainstream conservatives”? OMG AP LIBERAL BIAS~! Yeah, I know the comma separates the rednecks from the Neocons, but so what. Oh, and peep the crime and read the bullshit in the last paragraph of this article.
How exactly can you tell if this was a HATE CRIME or not? Would these two victims have to have "cracker" carved into them or something?
Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro are going to star in an upcoming movie. Now, I have an interest in this, should be a good flick and all that but I don't think it quite rises to the importance that this guy thinks it does.
An event in world history? Jeez, fella, take it easy. I'll tell you what, get Charlton Heston and Sean Penn to co-star in your next movie and I'll agree with you.
Glenn Beck is starting Hate University. Geraldo Rivera said Beck was a "hate cheerleader". Rivera also said anyone who disagreed with the new immigration bill was only doing so because they must be "afraid of the brown tide." Well, let me know when the admissions office opens I guess.
-Lately down at the quad at the university (it's by the library-I'm at Wright State, BTW) there has been this crazy preacher guy. I say he's crazy because he hates gays, Catholics, Liberals, and a host of the other usual suspects (insert joke by kkktookmybabyaway here). I haven't gotten to see him yet (a few of my friends have) but I've been wanting to, since I could use a good laugh. Also, he has about 15 or more people yelling at him, so I probably wouldn't have a word in.
There were also two old guys outside two days ago (same day as the crazy preacher) protesting the war. I kind of felt bad for them. I mean, two people? That's not too good.
-Fred Phelps is still at it (like you are suprised), ready to picket Jerry Falwells funeral (Phelps is one of the few people one Earth who almost makes Falwell look good-almost), and putting together a lovely video called God Hates the World.
-Remember when it was announced that Prince Harry was going to serve in Iraq? Think Again. I guess his family found out that war is dangerous. That out of the way, you knew there was no way in hell he was going to fight over there.
-Finally, tonight's the season finale of "The Office", which I'm looking forward to. What can i say, I love the show (especially Mindy Kaling, who plays the uber adorable Kelly Kapoor. To hell with Pam, I like Kelly)
Ohio, which demonstrated its lowly state of existence a year ago by passing a smoking ban, now has topped itself. Legislation has passed that bans touching at strip joints and has mandated that patrons must be six feet away from the dancers at all times, a so-called "6 foot bubble" that must be maintained around the dancers. No more dollars in g-strings, no more leaning in for a close look in Ohio. God, we suck. At least these chicks are fighting back.
Vincent Bugliosi, famous for prosecuting nutjob Charlie Manson, has written a magnum opus, 1600 pages worth, refuting the JFK conspiracy nuts. Not that we really needed this, but there are still numbnuts out there that think along the lines of an Oliver Stone. 3 quick points:
1. Despite people's claims, the act of getting off 3 shots from Oswald's location in a certain amount of time is not impossible and has in fact been duplicated over the years. Out of those duplications, 2 shooters have bested Oswald's results (2 or more head shots as opposed to Oswald's 1).
2. The magic bullet nonsense is actually on the part of the conspiracy nuts. When they talk about a magic bullet, it is because they have misrepresented where Connelly was sitting in relation to the president. Yep, it's that simple. The bullet travelled as it should based on where Connelly was really sitting. If the conspiracy nuts are right, the bullet would have ended up stuck in the car somewhere, because they say it would have had to make a right turn, etc. in order to hit Connelly. There was no bullet found elsewhere, and they can't explain where it ended up.
3. Kennedy's head did in fact move forward (as can be seen in a frame shot from the Zapruder film) before it moved backward, just as it should. For a brief microsecond, his head moved forward, then snapped backward, just as physics allow.
9 p.m.
• Well, here comes the invasion.
Oh who the hell am I kidding? They are already here. And these next two sentences from this next snippet make me feel soooo much better.
I expect Democrats to endorse this attack on America, but any Republican which agrees to this deserves to be booted out of office. (And don't even get me started on W.) I wonder what party these Mexicans will register with? Bye-bye, GOP. Then again, I shouldn't be so doom-and-gloom. You think any illegal is going to agree to this?
6 p.m.
• Looks like the Titans are interested in Keyshawn Johnson.
Good for him. Part of me felt bad for him when his replacement was drafted (I have no idea what his name is at this moment) and he had to sit there and go, “Boy I can’t wait to mentor this guy.” I wonder if he knew his Carolina stint was at an end there and was just playing for the camera?
1:30 p.m.
• One of the biggest stories of the NBA Playoffs, besides the Mavs losing in the first round, involves the recent pesudo beanch clearing that took place in Game 4 of the Suns/Spurs series. For those that don't know what happened, here you go:
The Spurs won Game 5 and are now up 3-2 in the series. I've heard several sports people comment on this, and from all perspectives.
"Rules are rules."
"Spurs play dirty. If Bruce Bowen would have been suspended for trying to hurt Stoudemire the Suns wouldn't have been on edge like they were."
I think I'm falling in the "If you don't change the rule, then you must enforce it" group. Over the last decade or so, the NBA has had to deal with bench-clearing fights, and I guess this rule of not leaving the bench is supposed to fight against this. However, when your team's franchise player is rammed into the scorer's table, I would certainly hope his teammates would respond by heading over there rather than just sitting there going, "Ohhh, look at all the pretty lights." It seems like this rule should be subject to interpretation, but from what I read it's not. So oh well. Maybe if Stoudemire hated Nash he wouldn't have cared that he got assaulted. Damn you for giving a shit about your teammates. I am hoping Phoenix wins the next two games, though.
7 a.m.
• So I was watching the TNT halftime show between the Cavs and Nets, and Ernie Johnson's family was in the studio. I guess his son has some sort of condition due to the fact he was wheelchair-bound and all that. No, I'm not going to crack on his kid or make some retard jokes. Instead, I LOL'd when Ernie said that his son's wheelchair was "tricked out" courtesy of some business/person whose name escapes me. Now that's one kick-ass dad...
...except for, of course, giving his son the retard gene.
And I was so close.
7:30 p.m.
• Well, that hippie library is still going to be around…
But fuck you Fast Eddie.
You think we’re that fucking dumb? This state may vote Democrat more times than not, but my fellow Keystone Staters aren’t retarded … or at least as much as other blue states. Tax shift? Yeah, right. More like “added tax.” You’ve been talking about slot-machine revenue gambling longer than W. has had troops in Iraq. This slots-for-property-tax idea has been an abortion since the start, and if you’re going to want to screw us over, then you’re going to have to force the sodomy. What, you expect me to fuck my own browneye?
Oh, but the real reason we didn’t vote for it was because we’re too stupid.
Although the line "The questions were not asked in Philadelphia, Pittsburgh and Scranton, where wage taxes are already comparatively high," made me LOL. (Scranton?) This part of the article cracked me up the most.
So even senior citizens voted against this? And in Pennsylvania, the old people control EVERYTHING, what with their en masse journey to the polls. And even though they keep dying off, there are plenty of near-blue hairs in this commonwealth to keep the Access vans busy to and from the local fire halls on Election Day.
• Back to local elections. God I love my town.
The sad thing is, when it comes to these local races, those stupid signs probably do make a difference in an election or two.
• Oh, yeah. Jerry Falwell died. I waited a few days to see what my other bloggers had to say. Wasn’t surprised. The commie goes "good riddence," and the right-winger says the extreme Left will go “see you in hell, Jerry” and all the usual stuff from the ideology of diversity and tolerance. I waited to post this because anything I say will be, as usual, so brilliant that nothing else will need to be said I’m lazy. I’m undecided as to which take I should use. Do I go with…
A) Falwell died? Wow, he must have taken Rudy Giuliani’s early presidential campaigning success hard.
or
B) Falwell died? Well, for his sake I hope all Jesus did with his disciples was preach the word of God and didn’t play a game of pitch or catch when the sun went down.
I'm hardcore. I'll take 'em both.
Ever since I got an IPod, I've had albums on it that are favorites on that IPod, Thing is, that list tends to change, so here's soe current favorites.
The Slits-Cut-A reggae producer produces a band from an all femal punk band who aren't that good with their instruments (what punk band back in the day was?) and makes this badass album. It's a punk/postpunk classic, with plenty of reggae/dub rhythms, sardonic lyrics, and plenty of attitude.
James Brown-Black Caesar OST-Soundtrack Brown did for a Blaxspotation flick is pretty damn catchy, with classics like "The Boss" and "Down and Out in New York City." A realy underrated gem.
Cabaret Voltaire-Code-OOP and hard to find, this album is probably the groups most accessible release, filled with electro and funk groves while still not losing any of their identity.
Joy Division-Closer-The band's second (and last) studio album predicts the oncoming goth and new wave movements coming together. Also may be the most depressing album ever recorded.
EPMD-Strictly Buisiness-Old school hip hop at it's best, with plenty of samples, catchy beats, and awesome rhymes. Also the first hip hop album I know of to reference Steve Martin.
Scientist-Heavyweight Dub Champion-Pretty short, but awesome dub reggae album.
Agalloch-Not Unlike the Waves-I already mentioned this in the "Metal Albums I'm enjoying" entry.
Henry Mancini-A Touch of Evil OST-Hell yes. Soundtrack to a classic film noir movie directed by Orson Welles, and full of old scholl rock, afro cuban rhythms, sleezy horns, old west style pianos, and other such things
Manfred Hubler and Siegfried Schwab-Vampyros Lesbos Sexadelic Dance Party-Another awesome soundtrack (to a pretty bad movie) features plenty of organ, mod style fuzzy guitars, sitars, trombones, and other old school psychedelic sounds. Great stuff.
8 p.m.
• So today was primary day in my state, and this usually means a boring day at the polls. Not this time.
I have no clue who is running for what locally in these primaries. It really doesn’t matter anyway, considering the same candidates are on both tickets. However, I wanted to vote on two referendums. The first dealt with Fast Eddie’s desire to raise my taxes again. Fuck you, you piece of shit. You’re going to raise my taxes anyway, you rat bastard – there’s no way in hell I’m going to vote for it. Of course I voted “no” on this. However, the second referendum dealt with funding for our local hippie library. Want to know what I think about this issue? Peep this. Well, as I was walking into to the polling place, this woman was standing outside the fire hall entrance, and I knew she was going to pimp trying to keep this hippie library open. I try to treat these people the same way I treat children and those kiosk people at the mall. I ignore them. However, if they approach and fire the first shot, then I will fire back. Today was one of those days. Here’s how the exchange went.
“Do you have any questions about *name of ballot issue*?” She then handed me a flyer telling me to vote “No,” which means keeping funding as-is for the library.
“No. I’m voting to close it down,” and without missing a beat I head straight into the polling place.
Game. Set Match.
After several minutes, the better half stormed into the polling place, slapped me on my shoulder and said “what the hell is wrong with you?” I said, “what?” However, I knew what was coming because I heard that woman say Mrs. kkk "is he serious?"
Mrs. kkk: “Did you see the look on that woman’s face.”
Me: “No, why?”
Mrs. kkk: “She said to me ‘is he serious?’ and then asked me if I was your wife.”
Me: “And what did you say?”
Mrs. kkk: “I have never been so embarrassed in my life.”
Too fucking bad. If you’re one of those grassroots lobbyists, then you better be prepared to deal with people that disagree with you. If you can’t take it, then get the fuck out of my way and let me cast my vote. I’m not going to cower because some person isn’t going to agree with my opinion. If you want to make your issue preference known, then I will, too. Oh, and I voted for some right-wing judge for state supreme court. The other candidates I didn’t vote for because I didn’t know who they were. But this wasn’t the only instance today in which I pissed off the better half…
kkk twin-spin
After voting against the library so grandma will have to get internet access on her own, it was time for grocery shopping. Now Mrs. kkk wanted to get two 24 packs of Pepsi for $10 because her church is having some “burger bash” fundraiser, and they were in need of beverages to sell for $1 a piece. The following conversation took place in the parking lot.
Me: “So we’re getting $10 of pop so your church can gouge its customers?”
Mrs. kkk: “It’s for a good cause.”
Me: “So your church is telling you to take a can of pop you bought for twenty cents and mark-up the price fivefold. What would Jesus think?”
Mrs. kkk:“*something about how Jesus would approve or something*”
Me: “I’d like to know how much he charged when he made all that bread and fish. Overcharging Jews; no wonder he got crucified.”
Mrs. kkk: “That is so wrong on so many levels.”
Oh, and the better half voted for the library. Bitch.
-Well, Jerry Falwell kicked the bucket, and will most likely live in a personal hell of homosexuals. He'll be missed by-ah, who am I kidding? I always hated the fucker, so good riddence. I'm not going to celebrate, but I sure as hell won't miss him.
-Oh, I'm suprised it took me this long, but I added people to my friends list: The people I added:
Lushus
Carnival
Coat is my Father
Czech
KOAB
Special K
If you want added, let me know.
The Union of European Football Associations Champions League is the Major Leagues, the NFL of Soccer. They are having their championship, their Super Bowl this month...ON A WEDNESDAY. Man, that is bitchin. Nice going, Europe. The most important sporting event of the year is taking place on a wednesday. Now, NASCAR stupidly blows their load by having their Super Bowl as the first race of the season, but at least they have the sense to do it on the weekend. But I might have to tune in because one of the players has the same name as my Dad, with 1 extra letter (Stephen Gerrard, plays for Liverpool).
I cleaned the throttle body (TB) and combustion chamber on my car. It's probably never been done and doing so will improve gas mileage. It's pretty easy but I think it will need another cleaning. Anyway, I nearly screwed up my engine in the process, which could have cost me thousands of dollars. I purchased the appropriate cleaning agent at the dealer--never use generic cleaner that is not specific to combustion chambers. Then all you have to do is disconnect the air cleaner hose leading to the TB, this exposes the opening of the TB, and this is where you spray the cleaner into. Now, on my car there are two holes within the TB that you must plug up. I had no plugs that fit (or any other kind of plugs--who has plugs like this lying around??), so I used tape. Well, after you spray the cleaner in you need to run the engine in order to get it fully into the system. Thinking I might spray some more after the first go-round, I left the tape on. Well, this monumental stupidity nearly got the tape sucked into the engine. And once it's in there the only way to get it out is to tear down the engine. You only get so many of these "mulligans" in life and I hate using one up like that.
1:57 pm:
How long will it be before some secular Lefty mouths off on this? Over the next few days, we are going to hear how he is no doubt in Hell right now, something along the lines of "Well, he's probably turning a crispy brown right about now." Oh well, maybe Keanu Reeves can rescue him.
2:32 pm:
Bob Barker is retiring from The Price is Right. Barker is the man. He has been staple of American television for decades. I always loved how he would very subtley get frustrated and testy with the particularly dumb contestants. And he was nailing the hot presenter-babes while in his 60s.
9:15 p.m.
• I’m sure there are a few things being left out of this story, but for now I’ll say go ahead and sue. Look, it’s rated R and the kid is 12. She wouldn’t be allowed to watch this film by herself in the theaters, so at the very least her parents/guardians should have been alerted ahead of time by the government school that this film was going to be shown.
Like I said above, I’m sure there is something being left out: they only saw some snippet of the movie that had no indication of which cowboy was pitching and which one was catching. Now that I think about it, my one horticulture teacher in high school played a few R-rated movies, but we were all 15-17 years of age, not 12. Actually, we had one black/Indian/whatever kid in our class who was a star on our basketball team, and there was a film playing where some kid gets stranded in the jungle and was being raised by monkeys. When there was a scene with several chips screaming, some kid (and no it wasn’t me) said to this kid “there’s your mom.” Ah, juvenile humor. Shit, who am I kidding, I’d laugh at that now. When I was a freshman in high school we had some Iranian-or-close-enough kid who got razzed by one of his friends in class during the first Gulf War when he was asked if his house got bombed last night. Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. R-rated movies. Our high school (or was it middle school? Christ I can’t remember) played “The Goonies” as a pre-Christmas break assembly one year, and some parent got pissed off because it was “inappropriate.” Not sure what became of it, but we didn’t watch one of those “American Tale” movies the next year, which was the big rumor. I remember a few times as a kid when “Ghostbusters” was played, much to the chagrin of some parents. Wow, and to think back then the line, “This guy has no dick” was big shit.
• And speaking of R-rated movies, I HATED carding people at the theater, although it was amusing to ask a group of teens for a driver’s license and none of them would have one available, which was odd because someone had to drive them. I never really got a good response to this question. I didn’t really care if some 16-year old wanted to see “Scream” without mom or dad with him, but my Nazi managers would, so I had to do what I did to keep from getting nagged out. Besides, it’s not that hard to buy a PG-13 ticket and then slip into the R-rated film minutes later. Now where am I going with this? Who know, who cares.
• So JJ had to get a bath yesterday. I don’t know why the better half insists on washing him, because after a day or so he stinks again. There’s nothing you can do about it – that’s how he was made and that’s how he will be. But no, we humans try to defy nature. Well, yesterday JJ for some reason trotted into the bathroom right as Mrs. kkk was getting the shampoo and towels out. This gave us the chance to isolate him in the bathroom rather than chasing him all over the house. The second the door closed he knew the jig was up and began crying at the top of his lungs. Jesus Christ. He then began scurrying around the bathroom, like that would help. Once there was some water in the tub it was time for JJ to take his dip.
Yeah I could write more about New Orleans but I want to take a slight break from it because this happen.
I played roller hockey on Mother’s Day. I woke up groggy because I was up till about 1 o’ clock in the morning.
I guess in the back of my mind, I figured I may get another assist or block a shot or something. I probably wouldn’t score another goal in my life because I’ve missed so many rebounds and I haven’t played hard enough.
I was the first person to arrive in our locker room and I was the second person on my team on the rink.
I started shooting pucks from different angles at the net. I was getting most of them in. My teammate Ray told me to stay in front of the net and deflect pucks into the net.
“Who cares”, I thought. It is not going to happen this way.
We were playing a tough team. They were higher in the standing than us. They had some good defensemen and it was going to be a tough game with our depleted roster.
I was playing badly and almost running into my teammates. I should have seen it coming. Usually when I’m playing my worst, good things do happen.
I stood towards the right of the opposing goalie during the second period. We tied 3-3 and the time was winding down. Chris had a hat trick and no one else was scoring.
It’s weird that when I was coached in high school I was told to do the same thing. I would stand and screen the goalie and collect any rebounds. I had scored previously off my skate with a random team in Upland but I didn’t consider that my first goal. I scored with Snipers before a lot of bad stuff happened and that was my first goal.
I had been with this team for three seasons and this was the season I was showing signs of life. I was getting assists and making plays and feeling good about myself.
It was Mother’s Day and I was at the right of the goalie. I was looking for the pass and I got it. I couldn’t react to it till passed the goal line. I couldn’t believe it. I had done it for a third time and it was sweet. I raised my hands in the air and tried to do a little jump. My teammates on the floor embraced me and a couple of the player on the bench congratulated me.
I felt great that I had accomplished something that I hadn’t been able to in three seasons.
The Average Joes scored again in third period. What was running in the back of my mind was when am I going to score again? I mean, come on. I am an American and I want more, more, more.
I saw Ray taking a slapshot. It rebounded and came to stick. Without hesitation I used a quick wrist shot and put the puck over the pad of the goalie and scored again.
The only way I could react to that was, “What the ….” Ray came over and gave a bear hug.
Suddenly, with about seven minutes left, it was not about scoring a goal but about getting a hat trick. I didn’t get that hat trick but I would have never imagined scoring two goals in a season, let alone the same day.
I was the last one on my team to score. We lost 7-5. I was congratulated by both teams after the game was over and I can’t wait for next Sunday.
-I saw "28 Weeks Later" on Friday, and it's great. I'd dare to say that it's just as good as the first one. It's a bit more depressing than the fisrt one, since there is no hope in this one, unlike "28 Days Later", where there was some hope. Also, to quote Joe Bob Briggs, "Anyone can die at any moment." I like to call that the "Psycho" rule, since some people who you expect to live don't. I won't tell you who, you have to see for yourself.
-Remember when I ranted about Kirk Cameron and his jackass buddies on my rant last week? Well, he's still at it, trying to prove that God exists on ABC news. If you didn't see it, here's how it went: Cameron made an idiot of himself while giving shitty evangelical responses that you'd see from a televangelist, and the Athiest did the typical "make fundies look stupid" stuff while having the charisma of a snail. So basically, I learned nothing from it, though it once again shows that people from both sides can be annoying. You can see it on the ABC news website, and on Google video. Oh, the Kelly chick was hot though, and had really great tits.
That out of the way, I'm going to repeat myself in a way, but shut the fuck up Cameron. Nobody is trying to turn you into an Athiest, so drop the Goddamn persecution comples. Christians make up the majority when it comes to religion in the U.S., so nobodies persecuting you.
Also, have you ever noticed that these kinds of debates never teach us anything?
-New Order broke up. I would be upset, but let's face it, their last two albums were horrible, and it was pretty much about time to break up. So yeah, good for them.
California Championship Wrestling got a tv deal! And not just some regular tv deal, oh no they got a deal with Comcast! The deal is that Comcast will run a show for a entire month...and it will be On-Demand. I'm very happy for CCW and I'm very happy to be apart of CCW. So BIG congrats to California Championship Wrestling and I can't wait to see what happens next with them.
For those who are wondering if California Championship Wrestling will reach you here in California. You can check out the California Championship Wrestling 5/12 thread in the "other promotions" part of the forum.
