KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 64: UseTheSledgehammerUh
This guy gets a lot of criticism, and at one point he was even banned, but I’ve never had a problem with him. In fact, his user name is one of the better ones around here, imo, and he has shown us in the past how to party, mixer-style. Of course if you look back on those threads all you get are a bunch of "User Posted Images," but we'll always have our memories.
And now a word or seven from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From The Real World's Champion:
From Black Lushus:
From EricMM:
From Bob Barron:
From Carnival:
From Cancer Marney:
From SFA Jack:
• I am in sheer awe of this old guy who lives across the street from me. Despite living with what I am assuming are his children and grandchildren – the youngest of which is in his teens – this poor guy still does all of the property's yard work. Yesterday I noticed a ladder in the front of this house, and when I looked more closely I noticed that this guy, who can barely walk on level ground, was on the ladder and doing something to a window that involved a power tool. He spent at least two-and-a-half hours out there doing God-knows-what, but bless him for his efforts. I know I would probably kill myself if I had to do any home improvements that took me off the ground.
• While I’m talking about neighbors, the people which live to the one side of me (not the old guy who kills groundhogs, but the other people with the barking dog), have set up all this playground equipment, including a big-ass trampoline. Now if they would only get around to mowing their lawn. The better half thinks they’re drug dealers, but I’m leaning more toward them setting up some unregulated daycare business.
• I heard this on Rush’s show today. And they say people in the Northwest aren’t passionate about their teams. But before I go thinking that people along the Left Coast are normal, I have to add that this judge filed a complaint against HERSELF.
• And now for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). Some woman phones in and wants to know how she can properly love her husband. When asked why she needs help in “loving her husband” this woman replied, “Because he scares me.”
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 65: Starvenger
Uh. Hmm. Well, he’s part of my football contest and had a tough year with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers last season thanks to a few close losses. Other than that I don’t know much about him. Why in the hell did I put him on this list? Well, I’m sure there’s a good reason; I just don’t know it. I certainly hope my expert panel can come through for me on this one. (Just one comment? Y2Jerk had seven of them!)
And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Black Lushus:
• Well today Connecticut U.S. Senator Joe Lieberman is in the fight for his political life against some schmoe who is more left-wing than the incumbent who sides with his Party 90-some percent of the time. Poor Joe. A career of supporting liberal causes and he’s coming under fire because he doesn’t want Abdul to set off a nuke in New Haven or Bridgeport. I’ve liked Joe for years. Yeah, I know he’s not one of the more popular public officials in these here parts, what with him being one of those moral types that doesn’t like pro wrestling and naughty song lyrics, but I don’t care. He’s always been one of those Democrats I’ve liked, even when I didn’t agree with him, which was most, if not all, of the time. Besides, he’s representing the state of Connecticut; it’s not like the Republicans will be electing their next Speaker of the House from that state. Shit, the biggest Republican from that place is Christopher Shays, and he’s a douche.
I’m not sure if Lieberman is going to pull this one out – polls say he’s not going to win, but I’ve been a bit suspicious of the surveys regarding this race for a while now. It’ll actually be funny if he loses because I wonder if Medium-Large Media will circle-jerk Lieberman should he decide to run as an Independent in the November general election, which he would have a good chance of winning. After all, I thought Medium-Large Media liked candidates that bucked the system and declared their independence. That’s how they acted when Jim Jeffords, that little bitch boy from Vermont, jumped ship in ’01 from the Republican Party to that hippie “Independent” label, giving Democrats a Senate majority that has since been erased.
• Recently I’ve been reading threads about this hippie storyline Marvel Comics has been engaged in regarding a divide between its superhero universe. (In case you have been wondering about those “Civil War” banners in some posters’ sigs, this is what they’re talking about.) However, if this fag-crew from across the Pond ever decides to come on over to America, I think even Captain America and Iron Man will put aside their differences to engage in a royal beat down of these Euro-Weenies.
• Introducing the newest KK Korner feature: The Dr. Laura caller of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this). God these people are fucked up. Today’s winner is some woman whose husband used to be a Jehovah’s Witness but gave up the "faith" when he got married to the caller. This caused the guy's parents to disown him and his family. Well, this woman (the caller) still brings her 10-month old and three-year old kids to these people every weekend for unsupervised visitations. The caller wanted to know if she should be doing this, considering the grandparents said they have disowned the caller and her family.
• So the better half dragged me along to some dinner that her soon-to-be boss had set up. In case I haven’t talked about this before, Mrs. kkk quit her job in June because she couldn’t take all the petty office bullshit that occurs in white-collar world. From June through this month she is baby-sitting her niece and nephew during the day and working at a local pizza shop, which I have mentioned before, at night. The reason she decided to quit was that another person she met through her now-former job was starting up a new study (Mrs. kkk has a Masters in Clinical Psychology) and said she would love to have her join the team. With the experiences I have had in regards to people telling me that a job offer is forthcoming (see yesterday’s entry as an example), pardon me if I’m a bit skeptical about promises like these. Well it looks all but certain the better half will be starting this job September 1. Yesterday her boss wanted to get her and the other staff member to get together and talk about the upcoming project. I was brought along, too, for what reason I don’t know. Her future boss seems OK. Mrs. kkk has told me for months that even though this lady has a Ph.D. she’s not as flighty as most people that accumulate multiple academic degrees tend to be. For the most part I have to agree with the better half, although once you get those fancy-sounding pieces of paper you will always have that with you, especially when you pour sugar on your penne, thinking the jar is filled with Parmesan cheese.
My theory on people who spend more time trying to stay in academia instead of trying to get a job in the real world is that the more knowledge you acquire via textbooks written by people who can’t make a living outside of State U the more common sense you have to sacrifice. When I was in college, it was always amusing to see professors with BA’s, BS’s, MBA’s, Ph.D.’s, and everything else in-between stand there in silence when trying to figure out how to operate the classroom VCR. Most of the time the channel just needed to be switched over to “3” and you had to turn the “power” and “vcr/tv” buttons, but I guess you don’t learn these sort of things when you’re reading up on the cultural lifestyles of transsexual Asian-Americans during the 1950s, or some other equally obscure nice field of study.
• I heard about this earlier today. Spooky.
Well now that I’m in job search mode once again I feel like whipping out an old-school story of one of my previously unsuccessful employment-seeking endeavors (the best time to look for a new job is when you already have one; NEVER just up and quit your place of employment). I had moved to Ohio in August of 2000 and was sending out resumes left and right. I had thought with my previous experience and the fact that I was situated in-between two decent-sized cities – Dayton and Cincinnati – I would be able to get something related to the communications field.
It was early October when I got an interview for a place called Modern Machine Shop Magazine regarding a newly created editorial-type job. I spent a day or two preparing myself for the interview and headed down there on Columbus Day. I had a number of unsuccessful interviews over the last month or two, but I was getting a great vibe from the guy I was talking to at this place. Not only was he easy-going in nature, but also he had no clue as to how anything worked at this place. I was thinking to myself that this job interview could be the one, and then I met these two bitches who were only a few years older than me and who I would be working with at this job. Any mojo I had before meeting these two was immediately vaporized. I could tell right off the bat these two didn’t want to be bothered with me, and words can’t describe how pissed off I was on the drive home.
Over a month went by and I got a follow-up call from Modern Machine Shop Magazine asking if I could go to some shrink they contract to who gives pre-job screening assessments. It was odd that it would take them a month to proceed with this next step, but seeing how I was still unemployed I went ahead with this appointment. Once again, the hands of fate played a cruel trick on me. It turns out that this shrink’s mother had just been sent to the hospital for a serious condition (I think it was a stroke), and I could tell that this guy was in no mood to do his job, and who could blame him? However, that’s no reason to act like an asshole to your subject, which he was with me. Basically, he just asked me why would people hate me (oh, if he only knew), and I could tell he wasn’t listening to half the shit I was saying. This guy then gave me some hippie “test” where I had to check off, in terms of what I agreed with the more, sentences that read. “I like to work with people,” “I work with people I like,” “People like working with me,” “I like people who like working,” “Working people like me,” and so on. Once again, any hopes of getting a full-time job that involved the use of what I had spent four years learning in college was dismissed on my drive home.
Another month and change went by when I got yet another call from Modern Machine Shop Magazine. It turns out these people were still interested in my services. This time I inquired about why there had been such lengthy delays during this job screening process. I was then informed that they had originally offered this job to someone else, and (surprise) the person they wanted to hire was a friend of those two bitches who didn’t want to give me the time of day during my initial interview visit. It turns out the chick they wanted to hire was playing them off of another company and eventually took the other place’s offer. Ironically, the organization she eventually took a job at was the same place who had asked me in an interview I had with them if I would have a problem working in an all-female department. I wonder if they would ask a Muslim or Jew if he or she would have a problem working in an all-Christian department? Better yet, I wonder if they would ask a minority if there will be any problems for them to work in an all-Caucasian division? But this is another story for another time.
So here I was driving back to Modern Machine Shop, where I would meet with the company’s owner and the head editor, who I hadn’t met before. I had the interview of my life, and I knew I had impressed the owner, especially when I indirectly noted that I read the conservative/libertarian magazine National Review (which was intentional on my part because something he had said earlier tipped me off to his reading interests). So after all of this did I end up with the job? Of course not. According to the head editor, a few days after that interview the company ordered a hiring freeze, and I was S.O.L. Was this guy being honest? Who the fuck knows, and who the fuck cares. About a year or so later I was talking with this lady who personally knew some people who worked at this place and mentioned that they were having to lay off some people due to unexpected costs that came with a large loan they had received from a bank (this was also the reason I was given for the hiring freeze). So even if I had gotten this job, I probably would have been pink-slipped shortly thereafter anyway.
So what’s the moral to this story? I don’t know. I was never a believer of fate, but events like what I described above have made me question my previous doubt of the phrase, “everything happens for a reason.” In addition, if you’re reading this entry and currently having difficulty trying to find a job that you want to put those four-plus years of higher education to good use, then take solace in knowing that you aren’t the only person who has experienced the problem of finding steady work related to your college degree. Believe me, I've got a bunch of these stories.
• I’m not a huge Rocky fan, but I have to call "bullshit" on this one. Perhaps if the statue featured a picture of Jesus in a jar of urine, or a painting of the Virgin Mary made in cow dung, these artsy fartsy types might deem the “prop” worthy of having a place at their hippie museum. I got a laugh in this article when some “expert” claimed this statue is not “art,” but rather a "prop." This "prop" is what many people probably associate with the Philly art museum, and I’m sure a case can be made that a lot of the crap inside this building, if put to a vote, by simpletons like me, wouldn’t get branded as “art,” either.
• There are a lot of people out there that don’t like Paris Hilton, but I’ll defend my girl: she sure can bring the comedy, whether it is intentional or not. I’m sure some will say that she doesn’t deserve her fortune, but I disagree; she’s sure been able to milk her “talents” into quite a nice pile of cash, even without all those hotels she owns.
• Here's kkk's tip of the day: never watch one of those Jason Bourne movies starring Matt Damon when you have a headache. Ugh.
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 66: Y2Jerk
I understand that Y2Jerk may not be the most popular poster around these parts. However, this sparring with Your Paragon of Virtue stems from a recent CE thread, which is located in a folder whose newer topics from the last year or so I have all but exiled myself from. But during the glory days of this particular folder, I had quite a fondness for Mr. Jerk. No, it wasn’t that I agreed with his leftist opinions, but rather because I found his epic multi-thread battles with MikeSC to be the stuff of CE legend. Whether they quarreled over whether or not Islam was a death cult, or when they goofed on each other’s line of work, one could rest assured that during spring of ’05 there would be a Y2Jerk/MikeSC clash of the day. So in the spirit of "Mike vs. Jerk is the CE folder equivalent of HHH vs. HBK," let me whip out a still-frame of their last epic battle before the TSM mods decided to finally ban Mike once and for all.
And now a word or seven from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Black Lushus:
From EricMM:
From Bob Barron:
From SFA Jack:
From Carnival:
From Cancer Marney:
From Lovecraft:
• Now I like a good “own3d” picture just as much as the next person, but one I recently saw in TSM’s “Post your favorite ‘Owned!’” thread has me scratching my head. It’s the one with the black guy playing Connect 4.
As our negro friend gets his piece ready for the winning shot, which is where I'm assuming the "owning" is taking place, I noticed that it appears he has already won the game with four diagonal red discs in a row from the bottom right corner up.
• Now it is time for the moment of truth. Over the past month I’ve been revealing my answers to that Political Compass thing. Now where exactly do I belong on this grid? Am I among the ranks of Hitler and Stalin, or, even worse, George W. Bush? Let’s see:
Part I.
Part II.
Part III.
Part IV.
Part V.
Part VI.
Part VII.
My score:
Economic Left/Right: 1.63
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 0.82
And just who is the world figure I am closest to?
Former President (or whatever the hell they’re called over there) Gerard Schroeder.
The fuck? How the hell am I even close to thinking like this asshole? Oh well, if the Political Compass says I think like this guy then I guess they’re right. Hooray socialism and double-digit unemployment rates!
• Too bad Texas Republicans have to keep Tom DeLay’s name on the November ballot. Perhaps if you people asked the New Jersey State Supreme Court to intervene on your behalf you might get somewhere. For those that don't know, back in '02 these red-diaper doper babies violated the law and let Democrats put a new candidate on the ballot, even though the deadline for doing such a thing had expired for this midterm election. Oh, wait, y’all Texans are Republicans. Nevermind.
Woah, woah, woah. Back up a second. I just noticed the name of my last link source.
Even though the word "twatrock" wasn't used in that linked article, can it be?
• Well no fucking shit. Fatties are in more danger during a heat wave. Next thing I know you’ll tell me that the obese also face greater risks of heart disease and diabetes than skinny people.
• Every now and then you come across a story that no matter what you do you can’t top the actual article itself. This is one of those instances. A lot of times when someone re-posts a story in its entirety on a message board one or two sentences/quotes/etc. are bolded for emphasis. If I were to do that for the story below, the whole article would be in bold-face.
• I know talking about video games is pathetic, but I don’t care. Last night I was playing Game 5 of my NHL ’06 second-round playoff series against the Devils. I was already up 3-1 in the series, but the last two games had been extremely close, and Game 5 was no exception. The first two periods were scoreless with each team getting a number of chances to score. Then New Jersey opened up the final period with three goals within the first 10 minutes of simulated game time. (I play 5-minute periods; otherwise, these games would end up with several hundred shots and a few dozen goals per contest; at least this way the games are more realistic in terms of stats.) Suddenly, Martin Brodeur, who had been blocking every one-timer and deke I had been throwing at him all game, got lit up for three goals in the span of less than five minutes of game time. With 40 seconds remaining, I was able to score one more time and put in an empty-netter that sealed the deal with a 5-3 win. The first 40 minutes of this game had zero goals; the last 20 had eight. Now it’s onto Florida, where I have had trouble this season.
• I heard on a local sports talk show this morning that the Pirates announced they are investing the $5+ million they saved thanks to dumping players this past trading deadline back into the team in terms of player development/scouting/etc. This raises the question of what has the Pirates front office been doing the previous dozen-plus years with the extra money it has collected from trading away players and their contracts. If $5 million got saved every year since 1993 thanks to getting rid of costly players in mid-season, you’re looking at $70 million in savings. With that kind of scratch they could sign A-Rod – for a week.
• This humidity must be mellowing me out because yesterday I went to the grocery store and didn’t even bother to goof on this woman when she thought she could ring up her order on a personal shopping scanning station. I don’t know why I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she had to have been shopping with a personal scanner in order to check out at that register. I probably chose not to because I wanted her to finish checking out before realizing that all her rushed effort would be for naught. Besides, I know had I interfered with her attempt to quickly get out of the store it would not have ended good. Here is how I’m guessing the conversation would have gone:
“Excuse me, but you need to have a personal shopper scanner in order to ring up your groceries at this registers.”
“Huh?”
“*I go on the explain for 5 minutes or so what a personal shopper scanner is.*”
“Well they should post a sign saying this registers is for personal shoppers only.”
“Uh, they do. *Points to big-ass sign this lady passed right up before scanning items.*”
I’m not sure what will happen after this, but I’m sure this woman would bitch some more, and I would have had to put her in her place because I have no tolerance for people that do something dumb and want to place the blame on someone else. I think another reason I bit my tongue in this case was because I bought these kick-ass ice cream sandwiches called “skinny cows” for half-price and didn’t want them to melt during this encounter.
The reason I am talking about grocery shopping is that I’ve noticed a lot of products are being discontinued, particularly these Emeril sauces that are way overpriced. I wonder if the other grocery products around the discontinued items make fun of them when nobody’s watching because the manufacturer is basically saying that nobody wants to buy this crap and it’s no longer being produced. Most of the time I have nothing to do with these discontinued items, except for these Shrimp Teriyaki Bowls that were hella good. Of course those disgusting Garlic Shrimp Scampi Bowls are still kicking; God knows why.
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 67: Slapnuts
OK, let’s get this out of the way.
There. Now I don't have to repeat these infamous words again for the rest of this entry. In Slappy's defense, I think he took the ribbings he received for his "freezing" remarks in good stride, or as good as one can get after something like this. Aside from the above-mentioned quote, Slapnuts has been known for other things, such as defending Israel from the mainstreamliberalpress and TSM Jew-bashers (boy that sounds odd coming from me) with those long-ass "Myth" posts that I never took the time to read due to all the words those things contained. He was also a member of the Conservative Brigade, and according to our last AIM conversation he is/was studying to become a lawyer, which is funny considering he said he didn’t care much for the people in this particular line of work. All in all, the Baltimore Orioles-loving Slapnuts isn’t too bad a guy, even though he will forever be remembered for a certain 77 words.
And now a word or four from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From the Real World’s Champion:
From EricMM:
From Cancer Marney:
From Bob Barron:
• Upon reading Black Lushus’ comment in yesterday’s entry, I got the thinking about Mel’s recent “Jew” remarks. I don’t have any of his Mad Max movies etched in my memory bank, but I wonder if there were any Jewish characters in those films? If there weren’t, then perhaps a post-apoplectic world won’t be such a bad place after all. Then again, black people will still be around, so a futuristic wasteland filled with devastation and nomadic tribes on wheels won’t be a complete return to Eden. Baby steps, though, baby steps.
• Just die already you piece of shit and get your one-way ticket to hell punched. I had to laugh when I learned that Fidel's younger brother, who is now in charge (for the moment) of that commie island by Florida, is the vibrant age of 75. And people goofed on the Catholic Church for appointing a guy not much younger than Pope John Paul II to be the next Pontiff? Oh, and I heard on the radio from a White House spokesperson that if Fidel should kick the bucket, the United States is ready to show the fine commies and wanna-be exiles of Cuba a better way to govern themselves via the democratic system. Really? When will they start showing us this system? OMG SELECTED NOT ELECTED LOL2000! Sorry for that, but sometimes you just got to let one of them out every now and then. And for the record I'm talking about "OMG..." lines, not Jews in concentration camps. If lovecraft doesn't deem that to be offensive, then I don't know what else to do.
• I talked yesterday about one thing that I didn’t care for regarding professional football, and today it is Major League Baseball’s turn. The trading deadline expired a little while ago, and this is the time of year when contending teams try to find that one extra pitcher or slugger to put them over the top. On the flip side of this coin are losing teams looking to unload soon-to-be free agents they can’t afford to retain in hopes of getting some worthwhile prospects. I get how this game is played. If you’re the Yankees, you don’t want to give up whatever good young players your minor league system still has. If you’re the Phillies, you want to ship off someone you won’t be able to re-sign in the off-season and get the best deal possible in return. Trying to get something for nothing is the American way. However, can we please lay off the theatrics of teams absolutely refusing to hand away a particular prospect? For weeks I’ve heard the Yankees say proclaim they will ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY REFUSE to give up some can’t-miss minor-leaguer they have in their system. I don’t know who this guy is, nor do I care. All I know is that the guy’s a pitcher and the Yankees won’t part with him no matter what the circumstances. Well, it looks like they got Bobby Abreu in return for some minor-leaguers that were not on their “untouchable” list. I’m sure Al Keiper or Bored knows who these people are and can give you some win-share figures of each player’s time in A, AA and AAA ball. Quit the public theatrics and get the deal done in private.
• Speaking of trades, I heard this morning that the Pirates have shipped off Sean Casey to the Tigers earlier today. What’s hilarious about this is that when Casey, a hometown boy, signed with the Pirates this past off-season, it was being billed as a sign of things to come with this losing franchise. Oh it was a sign all right. A sign that the tradition of finishing in last place is still going strong. God I love this team. On the bright side, Casey is now going to a former Shittsburgh manager that was at least able to get his team into the postseason. Oh, and speaking of the Tigers, I had been expecting them to fold sometime this season, but after their recent performances against White Sox and Twins I now think they’re a legit playoff team. Of course, having said this I’m sure they will proceed to lose their next 20 games.
The local media has reported over the past few days that the Pirates were going to make some trades. They weren’t kidding. As I was watching ESPN this afternoon I was reading the bottom-screen headlines and it seemed Shittsburgh deserved its own little section. First I saw they traded Oliver Perez and Roberto Hernandez to the Mets. Then they traded infielder/outfielder Craig Wilson to the Yankees. Then they traded pitcher Kip Wells to the Rangers (yeah, that'll improve the Texas rotation). Now my question is if these teams are all in the postseason chase, then why in the hell do they want players from this franchise? It’s not like a team gets to be 40-66 overnight. It takes persistence and effort, baby.
• So Mel Gibson has "allegedly" shown (or should I say bellowed?) his true colors as being an anti-Semite. Now I like this guy even more. With the media criticism of his “Passion of the Christ,” how can you not blame Gibson for thinking there’s a Jew conspiracy out to get him? I bet his bartender’s name ended in “-stein” and phoned his buddy (collect of course) at the Los Angeles Times once he saw Mel’s state of intoxication after last call was announced. OK, now this made me laugh.
• Well now the media can settle down with their “OMG REGGIE BUSH MAY SIT OUT THE ENTIRE YEAR” hysteria. The guy signed on the dotted line with the New Orleans Saints and is supposed to report to training camp today. I can’t stand the “Will this rookie holdout sit the entire season?” stories that usually spring up about this time every year. What made this season's batch especially annoying was that Bush is supposed to put the city of New Orleans on his back and bring this place back to prominence, or at least back to having college white girls take their shirts off in exchange for some beads. What really pissed me off was the notion that Bush “promised” to sign a contract early and then didn’t. For a football player, who may be one play away from a career-ending injury, I don’t blame these people one bit for trying to get as much money as they can. The only thing I disagreed with Bush on in this situation was the “I should be paid like I was the overall top pick” talk. You weren’t drafted first – get over it. Otherwise, I say get your money now, put your financial house in order, and then concentrate on your craft.
• I was watching the Sports Reporters this morning and Mitch Album talked about this judge who ruled pat-downs at football games unconstitutional. He was right. Holy shit is this Gordon Johnston a fucking douche, and what a shock, the Atheists and Criminals/Communists Love Us organization helped him in this lawsuit:.
Hey bitch boy, you’re not getting stripped searched. You’re not having your anus probed in search of weapons of mass destruction. You’re getting a pat-down before entering a stadium filled with more than 50,000 other football fans. Get over it you bitch-ass faggot. I loved his last line about in the “absence of a specific threat or suspicion of those being searched universal pat-downs are too broad a response." So you want only to pat-down people who look suspicious -- well who are you going to deem worth of such suspicion? I bet the instant anyone gets a “suspected” pat-down you’ll come down from your ivory tower, U.S. Constitution in hand, and then get the ACLU to sue on behalf of Adbul because his pat-down was RACIST. And of course should a hidden bomb explode at a Bucs home game, Johnston will probably be one of the first armchair quarterbacks bitching about how stadium security didn’t do everything they could to prevent the blast from happening. I have to wonder if the government school Gordon teaches at has any metal detectors/search procedures. Hopefully this school does, and another commie judge rules these search methods unconstitutional, only then to have a student put a few bullets into Johnston’s skull, further turning his brain into mush.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 68: Agent Bond34
I don’t see much of Agent around here. He seems to show up around football time to partake in our message board’s football contests; after not logging into TSM for several months, he showed up and took his spot in my football league, along with Bored’s. But hey, he submits his picks on time, which makes him OK in my book. I do feel for him when a few years ago he got banned by some mod because that person thought Agent was a previously banned poster (Mr. Zsasz). You see, Zsasz liked James Bond, and since Agent’s name had the word “Bond” in it, it’s only natural that Agent Bond was Zsasz in disguise, despite the fact Agent had been posting here since August of '02. But I digress.
• Yesterday was a bit of a bittersweet day for me in my talk-radio listening habits. In the Shittsburgh area, on the Fox Sports Radio affiliate, there is this local morning show that is probably going to get the axe. For a few years these two former Steeler linemen – Tunch Ilkin and Craig Woofley – hosted this 7-10 a.m. program. However, rather than having the Clear Channel-owned station cut their show due to low ratings, Ilkin has decided to leave the show in order to pursue other endeavors. This pair had been paying for airtime and had been selling their own advertising. Now with Ilkin leaving (he’s pretty much left already, having taking this past week off and scheduled to “officially” leave at the end of the month) the only way this program will continue if the station takes the show on itself, which probably isn’t going to happen. (Some background info.) I usually listened to this program from 9-10 a.m., and if my local RIGHT-WING RADIO guy was airing a “best of” program I usually just tuned over to Tunch and Wolf from 7-10 a.m. This program wasn’t great by any means, but you could tell both guys were having fun doing this show, and it’s a little sad to see them go. However, both have other things to do with their lives (both take part in the Steelers radio broadcasting team) and I wish both the best of luck.
• So was our new American cycling hero doping it up when beating the rest of the world in a sport that our country doesn’t follow? Who knows and who cares. I didn’t get caught up in all the Floyd Landis hype when he was on the bike, and I’m not going to pay attention to the aftermath. When it came to the last seven Tour de Frances, I didn’t follow one second of them. Toward the end of each race, I’d check to see if Lance Armstrong was going to win, and when I would learn that he’d come in first (again) I’d say “cool” and go back to my existence. I think cycling is a sport, unlike Jason Whitlock of ESPN/Kansas City Star fame, and I think Armstrong’s story is an amazing one. I just don’t care about cycling. However, I do care about pissing off the rest of the world, particularly the French, which is why I don’t goof on this event … much.
• It’s a shame this guy lived, because he would be an excellent candidate for one of those “too stupid to live” awards. Trying to start shit in a gun store with a machete is like a WAP bringing a knife to a gunfight.
And down the stretch I come.
Agree.
There are people in this world who perform moral feats simply because it is the right and just thing to do, not because they are afraid God will strike them down if they act otherwise. It's a shame I'm not one of these people that cares about doing the right thing, but I know they have to exist somewhere.
Agree.
Generally, it’s more efficient. The bigger a “giving” institution is, the better chance of it becoming wrapped in red tape and saddled with unnecessary overhead.
Disagree.
Sometimes fate does play a role in what happens to us, but it’s the choices we make that determines this “luck” for us, too.
Disagree.
It’s important that a school instills reading, writing and arithmetic. Also having them return your brat home free of bullets or blades helps, too.
Diagree.
If by “immoral” you mean “not for baby-making purposes” then I might agree (although married couples have sex to get off, too). For me, “immoral” in this case means “not for feelings,” and for me that would mean prostitution. Since most sex outside of marriage isn’t a business transactions (although with the cost of dating, this could be debated), I will say no.
Agree.
I’m against homosexual marriage, because I’ve always said marriage is between a man and a woman. However, if a child faces a choice between living in foster care/the government system for his or her upbringing or living with Bob and Steve in an otherwise “normal” household, then I say go for it. Just realize that the kid will probably get beat up a lot in school for having gay adoptive parents.
Agree.
If not for Porn, there wouldn’t be an Internet today. An Internet where I can take polls like this.
Agree.
I know what this question is supposed to mean, but what if Condi Rice is banging some guy from Syria and in the act of passion she starts moaning out upcoming military strategies? I would think then that the State should take in interest in this one.
Disagree.
I enjoy the one time every few years that I go clothes shopping during a big sales event; I'd imagine that's how homos feel this way everyday, although I don't buy anything in vibrant colors.
Agree.
I may be at risk of sounding like an old fuddy duddy, but sometimes when I turn onto MTV and I cringe at what I see. I guess I can agree with this statement because it doesn’t say if I want anything done by the government about it. I know there are some other societies that are "more open" with this topic than the States, but then again there are a bunch of other societies that are much less, accepting, of seeing chicks in suggestive poses.
Developed
Well there you have it. Now that I'm done, where exactly do I compare with world leaders in my viewpoints? Am I to the right of W. on foreign policy, or am I more authoritative than Hitler on social issues? You can either take all of my answers and submit them yourself onto the Political Compass's web site, or you can just wait until I post the results in a future entry.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 69: Bob Barron
From his Saturday Night Live recaps that take longer to read than it would to actually watch this unfunny piece of crap program he reviews to his numerous pictures with celebrities...
(my personal favorite)
...Bob is one of the more recognizable posters at this place. And how can he not be, considering he's had that hat longer than the Braves have been winning Division titles. I’ve talked to Bob via AIM for a few years now, and he’s a pretty nice kid. Not only is he a conservative student in a field of study (journalism) that is dominated by liberals (especially considering he goes to school in Canada), but also he’s a regular participant in my NFL Pick ‘em league. In fact, he was runner-up in KKK Bowl II. Now with all these nice things being said about him, the question is why is he ranked up so high (or "low," as the case may be) on this list? Well, Bob has the potential to capture a Top 20, or even a Top 10, spot, but the fact of the matter is, Bob, that you need some action. I know it’ll probably be a while before you experience it in the Real World, so by occupying the number 69 slot you can at least fulfill your wildest celeb fantasies on my list. Go to town big guy.
And now a word or four from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Lovecraft231:
From The Real World’s Champion:
From EricMM:
From Cancer Marney:
Oh, and for all my expert panelists: the number 68 spot is being changed for reasons you’ll understand later when he turns up again.
• The Andrea Yates story just keeps getting better. Like I said before, it’s shit like this which makes people support the death penalty. I’m guessing she gets released from the crazy house in 5-10 years. I think what’s even more disgusting is that her ex-husband was complaining not because Andrea was now found innocent but because it took two juries to reach a not guilty verdict. He then griped about all the tax dollars being spent for the two trials. Maybe it indeed was best for these kids that they got killed relatively early on in their lives before their parents could do some real damage to them.
• So the United Nations decides to stick around in a war zone and several “observers” got killed by an Israeli rocket, prompting Kofi Annan to say that it appeared that Israel was targeting his people. Well Israel did say they were going to go after terrorists. When I first heard this my guess was that Hezbollah was probably moving closer to that U.N. outpost; a letter Glenn Beck read earlier today on his radio show confirmed my guess. According to this letter, one of the observers who eventually was killed in the strike said that the Israeli shelling they were experiencing had not been deliberate but due to a tactical necessity. Gee, terrorists moving toward civilians/non-aggressors in hopes of innocent lives being lost? That’s a newsflash.
• This has been a pretty depressing entry, what with moms getting off from killing their kids and the Mideast going to hell in a handbasket. However, there is some good news on the horizon; score one for the good guys in the eminent domain struggle. Fuck you Big Government. Fuck you Big Private Land Developer. Fuck you Five Communists on the Supreme Court.
• There is a McDonalds near where I live that just experienced a “drive-thru,” geezer style. This old person plowed into one of those outside play areas that some of the yuppie Golden Arches use to lure in children and their parents. Here is the best part of the article:
And then further down...
I think the “gas pedal got stuck” is the old person’s version of the classic “dog ate my homework."
• This past weekend I got Comcast Digital Cable. Uh, yay, I guess. Basically, Comcast is offering this deal where you get phone service, Internet access and Digital Cable all for one price that saves me more than $50 for the first year and a lesser amount thereafter. As I began playing around with the “On Demand” feature, I went into the section where you can watch free movies. What, you thought I’d actually go into the pay-per-view section? So as I was flipping through the free movies, I noticed that most of these films weren’t, let’s say, the greatest of quality. Not that I’m complaining though, because they are free. Well, they had Men in Black; too bad I own the DVD. Hey, A League of Their Own wasn’t bad for what it was. There was also the first Mad Max movie, which I hadn’t seen before. Look here, it's My Best Friend’s Wedding; I won’t watch it any time soon, but at least it’s a movie that was made within the last 10 years and was reasonably popular at the box office. However, as I looked more thoroughly through over to the “comedy” area, I began to notice a certain pattern of films: Ernest Goes to the Army, Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Goes to Africa (!?). Just exactly how many of these Ernest movies were made? I admit watching as a kid Ernest Goes to Camp, and I remember he had some television show, but that’s about the extent of my Ernest knowledge. Just for the hell of it, I headed over to IMDB and looked up a list of Ernest movies/shows”
“Ernest Goes to Camp”
“Ernest Saves Christmas”
“Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain,”
“Hey Vern! It’s Ernest!”
“Ernest Goes to Jail”
“Ernest Scared Stupid”
“Ernest's Greatest Hits Volume 2”
“Ernest Rides Again”
“Ernest Goes to School”
“Slam Dunk Ernest”
“Ernest Goes to Africa”
“Ernest in the Army”
Christ almighty. Who buys this shit?
• Well the better half and I are having a bit of a tiff because she “volunteered” me to help her one friend with the two out-of-wedlock kids move into her newly purchased house. I got to hear this good news at 5:45 a.m. as I was getting ready for work, so needless to say my reaction was less than enthusiastic. I hate moving. I’ve packed my things and headed out for greener pastures five times since 1998, and that is more than enough times for me. However, what pisses me off even more is that her friend doesn’t really do anything with Mrs. kkk unless she needs something. I get that she has two kids and all, but there have been more times than I can count in the past that not only would this girl flake out with scheduled get-togethers, but each time she would never let the better half know she wasn't going to be attending whatever they had planned. And her reasons weren’t because the one kid had to go to the emergency room; it would be because she got drunk with some other people. I'm one of those dolts that tries to keep his word whenever possible, and if I'm unable to make an event I let the host know as soon as possible. I have no problem helping out people I know. Hell, I can do nice things for strangers once in a while, too. But I have a problem with being there for someone who wouldn’t give two shits about your situation should you ever need to rely on them for something. Oh well, at least this will give me some material to use the next 10 times this person screws over the better half and an event she’s planned.
• Before this gets too outdated, what the hell was up with that psycho bitch on the Tonight Show? She claims Colin Farrell was harassing her and she walks onto the stage in the middle of a taping? Bitches be trippin'. From the article:
So that's what happened to Rolanda. I wondered where she went after that talk show.
• The Penguins just signed (again) winger Mark Recchi after trading him to the Carolina Hurricanes last year, where he won another Stanley Cup. I just find this funny for some reason. Couple this with the N.Y. Islanders now having its back-up goalie as the team's new General Manager and I have to ask how can anyone not like the NHL?
• First soccer players are head-butting opponents. Now jockeys are head-butting their horses. Nice.
• Here we go with Part VI. If you don't know what this is, then too bad.
Disagree.
What if you are at the top or bottom of this society? Who do you obey/command then? Besides, there are quite a few people I know who can’t command themselves, let alone other people.
Disagree.
I don’t care about this one. I’m sure you can fling pooh against a wall and someone will find a picture of two horses fucking or see the Mona Lisa; whether or not she's banging farm animals is up to the person looking at this "art."
Agree.
Should rehabilitation be factored into a convict’s sentence? Sure. But why rehab someone who’s getting the needle? You can make a case that this goes against my “accept discipline” answer from earlier, but obviously if you’re in jail you don’t know how to prevent from being disciplined, so too bad.
Agree.
See my answer above.
Agree.
Artists are starving enough. If you didn’t have the person creating the goods for these creative types, they wouldn’t survive long enough to get to the second act or chapter of their masterpiece.
Disagree.
Not if they are childless or unmarried; their first duty is not to be a burden to society. In Happy World it would be best if a couple that popped out some kids had one adult in the house; it doesn't matter if it was either mom or dad bringing home the bacon.
Agree
Hooray exploitation. I’m sure the company heads are smarter than the “leaders” of these pissant countries, so I’m certain Big Company is getting a sweet deal. More power to them.
Disagree.
I don’t think it’s an “aspect” moreso than a “result” of maturity. It also often means that you finally got your hippie ass a job and some investments.
Disagree.
Next.
Developing...
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 70: Cena’s Writer
A returning participant from my NFL pick ‘em contest, he managed to get into the first round of the playoffs with the Arizona Cardinals and was just minutes away from advancing to the second round. Unfortunately for him, Bravesfan, his Wild-Card opponent, got his playoff picks in right as I was typing “Deadline has come and gone.” Cena’s Writer was a good sport about it all, and he didn’t mind when I moved him from the Cards to the Saints during the off-season. For these reasons alone he gets a spot on this list.
And now a word or four from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Porter:
From Black Lushus:
From SFA Jack:
From Cancer Marney:
• Black Lushus asked me a question in yesterday’s entry regarding my feelings about concealed firearms legislation. Before giving my opinion, I feel I need to explain a bit on my feelings toward gun control in general. I personally don’t own a firearm, although I may some day down the road for protection purposes. That being said, I feel a law-abiding citizen has the right in this country to own firearms. I always get a kick out of hearing anti-gun weenies whine about how our Founding Fathers would have never written the Second Amendment had they known how dangerous today’s firearms are. I’m sure Ben Franklin and George Washington wouldn’t expect our country to be doing quite a few things today that would have seemed inconceivable from back in the day, so don’t play the they-wrote-the-Constitution-230-years-ago card in this instance.
I consider myself to be “pro-gun,” however, there are some people I’ve met that are so anti-gun control that they downright scare me. About 15 years ago I heard a stand-up comedian say the following line, which pretty much sums up my feelings on gun registration: “If you’re the type of person who can’t wait seven days to purchase a gun, you’re the type of person that needs to wait seven days in order to purchase a gun.” I’ve always said that if the United Nations One World Government black choppers ever come to my neck of the woods, I’ll be glad knowing my local militia will be there to fend them off (although seeing the work the UN does in “peace-keeping” I’m sure my garden hose on at full tilt will be a sufficient deterrent to get them off my property).
When it comes to concealed-carry firearms, I’m generally for them. Sure there will be media stories about soccer moms who say they are cowering in fear because they will be afraid of some guy in a pickup truck with a Dixie Flag decal opening fire because she’s not driving fast enough. However, the real worry doesn’t stem from everyday people owning and carrying guns; it’s the people who illegally obtain and use firearms. And if you fear a well-armed citizenry, read that article I linked to yesterday and ask yourself that if some guy with a knife was chasing you in a parking lot would you want the citizens in your area to have the ability to stop your attacker with a single bullet or would you want to run around a parked car until the police arrive?
I can understand why some people in places such as dense urban areas don’t want guns of any kind in their neighborhood, but gun-control legislation won’t stop criminals from using them, and when you take away a citizen’s ability to protect themselves you’re actually helping the criminals do their thing. As long as liberal politicians keep trying to find ways to weasel their anti-gun authoritarian measures into law, and this ends up bringing out the gun owners bloc to vote against them on Election Day, then all I can say to these commies is keep up the good work.
On a somewhat related note, one of my favorite songs by Sir-Mix-A-Lot came from his Mack Daddy album, and it didn’t involve phat derrieres or Testarossas. It was on last track of the album and was titled “No Holds Barred.” Below is the third verse to this pro-gun ownership track:
I’m sure Mr. Mix-A-Lot isn’t a Republican (he’s had some anti-GOP lyrics in other songs), but I always thought he’d make an … interesting … spokesperson for the National Rifle Association.
• So I heard there was some grumblings from Americans in Lebanon about the way they were recently rescued from the turmoil in that region (damn Jews are always messing things up). Today, when the morning RIGHT-WING RADIO guy I listen to returned from a weeklong vacation, he played some sound bites about this bitch named Ashley whining about America’s rescue efforts. I shook my head. First off, this chick sounded like a Valley Girl filled with university indoctrination of “America Sux,” gobbledy goo and complained about how the boat they were rescued on was a like refugee ship. She then whined about all the flies that were on board. Uh, as opposed to pristine landscape that is the MIDDLE EAST. It’s a shame someone didn’t throw this one overboard. A number of people in Medium Large Media compared the Lebanon rescue efforts to the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, and they are right but for the wrong reason. Both examples are similar in that it involves groups of people who knew they were living in a bad place to be and didn’t get out when they had the chance.
Oh, and speaking about the morning RIGHT-WING RADIO guy, I was right in my prediction from yesterday’s entry – the first thing he talked about was that guy stopping a knife-wielding psycho from stabbing a co-worker.
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 71: NY Untouchable
Nice enough kid. Besides, I need to somehow make up for breaking his heart by voting against him in the first round of this year’s Poster Tournament. If that wasn't enough, to add insult to injury, I eventually offed him in the second round. What better way to make up for this by putting him on my list? Of course, he’ll probably bitch about being in this low a slot, which if that’s the case then fuck him.
And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Black Lushus:
• When Hurricane Katrina hit, some in the medical profession decided to play God and started offing some of their more serious-case patients when they determined there was no way to escape and that a morphine overdose is a better way to go out than drowning. And you know what? As of this moment I’m siding with the medical professionals. I can’t even begin to comprehend what these people were going through and they were probably doing what they thought was best for the moment. Who is to say any of us would have acted any differently? Hell, most of us would have probably high-tailed it out of there long ago. Did these people exercise the best judgment in this situation? Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not going to play armchair quarterback in this case, though. Too bad ass-clowns like John Murtha don’t exercise the same restraint when commenting on events like Haditha.
• Man I can’t wait until my morning RIGHT-WING RADIO guy I listen to returns from vacation on Monday because I know what will be one of the first things he talks about: How a pistol-packing civilian stopped some psycho from stabbing a bunch of co-workers at a grocery store in Tennessee. Long story short: This guy was chasing another person with a knife when a guy named Chris Cope grabbed a gun from his truck and subdued the attacker. However, my favorite quote came from this Sergeant who said of Cope:
FUCK YOU buddy. If I have some guy chasing me around a parking lot with a big-ass knife, I don’t want to wait until the police arrive onto the scene; I want a Second Amendment advocate to show my attacker the benefits of concealed firearms.
• My local newspaper yesterday told the story of this Montana family that purchased a $33,000 house in the Shittsburgh area based solely on Internet photographs. Surprise, surprise, when they actually got to this residence, the place was filthy, falling apart and had devices like the water heater in unusable condition. I could understand perhaps moving to an area out of state and relying on Internet pictures for a rental property that required no advance deposits; that’s what we did when we moved to Ohio, and everything turned out fine and dandy. However, there’s no way in hell I’m purchasing any property without at least going to the actual site and looking over the area once with my own eyes.
This year's contest will be run the same way as it was run last year -- rules are at the end of this entry. The only change of note is that if I'm convinced a person has dropped out of the contest, even if their Emergency Picks aren't over their limit, I'm going to give their team to someone else. (For example, if someone has a 1-5 record and misses the next 2-3 games, I'm not going to bother to wait until their EPs are over the limit to give their team to someone else, which happened a few times last season.) If you participated in last year's contest and didn't violate your emergency pick limit, you have dibs on re-claiming your team for this year. Returning vets have until August 24 to re-claim thier team. Below is a list of who was on what team last year.
If you didn't participate in last year's contest and are interested in taking an open team, just give a shout-out in this thread: it's first come first serve. If you're a n00b, don't express your interest in this blog entry. Currently there are three open spots -- Vikings, Raiders, and Chiefs -- but I think there could be a few more openings, so even if you didn't get in now still post your interest and if anyone should lose their team this regular season due to inactivity, I will give dibs to whichever n00bs signed up but weren't able to claim a team. If you were in last year's contest, maxed out your emergency picks, and want another chance, I'm not going to consider your entry request until after August 24 when all vets and n00bs have a chance to join.
AFC EAST
Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron)
Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff)
New England Patriots (Nl-asshole)
New York Jets (Gert T)
AFC NORTH
Baltimore Ravens (Dr. Tom)
Cincinnati Bengals (Teke)
Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack)
Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus)
AFC SOUTH
Houston Texans (Bored)
Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle)
Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off)
Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx)
AFC WEST
Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris)
Kansas City Chiefs
Oakland Raiders
San Diego Chargers (Porter)
NFC EAST
Dallas Cowboys (Marvin Is A Lunatic)
New York Giants (Cartman)
Philadelphia Eagles: (The Real World's Champion)
Washington Redskins (Human Fly)
NFC NORTH
Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion)
Detroit Lions (Bravesfan)
Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X)
Minnesota Vikings
NFC SOUTH
Atlanta Falcons (King of the 909)
Carolina Panthers (Fazzle)
New Orleans Saints (Cena's Writer)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger)
NFC WEST
Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne)
San Francisco 49ers (Agent Bond34)
Seattle Seahawks (C Dubya 04)
St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist)
RULES 'N STUFF
1) 32 TSM'ers pick their own NFL team to represent and are placed in their respective divisions.
2) Each week during the NFL season every person submits their weekly picks as to which teams will win for that week. You make picks for all the games for that week. If your claimed team has a bye week, then you don't submit picks.
3) Your picks are matched up against the picks of the person your team is matched up against. Whoever has the most correct picks wins the matchup.
(For example: In Week 1, Shittsburgh plays Miami. TSM poster Kahran Ramsus has claimed the Steelers and TSM poster Spaceman Spiff has claimed the Dolphins, so for Week 1 their picks go head to head. Kahran correctly picks the winners of 8 games and Spiff correctly picks 10 winners. Spiff wins the matchup to go 1-0 in the regular season. Kahran loses and goes 0-1.)
4) The rules will be just like the NFL -- Only division winners and two wild card teams from each conference will get to make the post-season, etc.
5) Not only will you submit your picks, but also, as a tie-breaker, you will predict how many points your team will score that week. If you and your opponent picked the same amount of games correctly for one week, the person who more accurately predicted how many points their team would score for that week wins the matchup. If both TSMers are tied after this, then the matchup is a tie.
(For example: In Week 1, Atlanta and Carolina play each other. That means King of the 909 and fazzle are matched up against one another. Both TSM'ers correctly picked 9 winners, so they are tied. Now it's time to go to the tie-breaker. 909 predicted the Falcons would score 10 points and Fazzle predicted the Panthers would score 20 points. The actual score of the game was ATL 13, CAR 26. Therefore, 909 wins the matchup because he had the more accurate tie-breaker: 3 points to Fazzle's 6. It doesn't matter if you go over or under your team's score. All that matters is if you are closer to you team's score than your opponent's.)
6) Instead of picking the outright winners of each NFL game, there will be point spread with each NFL game. I'm hoping giving under-powered teams a few extra points might encourage some TSMers to pick them instead of going with a favored team.
7) The end-of-season tiebreakers will be the same as the NFL's (division record, conference record, etc.)
8) Before the season begins, you will have to submit a set of "Emergency Picks." I'll explain this to any n00bs that claim a team via PM.
So the local RIGHT-WING RADIO morning guy I normally listen to from 6-9 a.m. is on vacation this week and he brought in a sub host, which is good because I’d rather listen to some guy who, although may not be all that entertaining, is much better than hearing some hippie “best of” show. I guess the guy slept in or something because for the first hour of the show I was hearing a “best of” from the sub host’s week on the show! Well this gave me a chance to scan the other talk-radio stations that are on at 6 a.m. Since the other “newsy” stations were playing hard news, I went to my second option: the sports-talk world. My God was that a mistake. Whenever someone complains about RIGHT-WING RADIO, they need to listen to this shit.
I first went to the ESPN radio affiliate in Shittsburgh, and then I headed over to the Fox Sports Radio station. Both spent entire segments dedicated to Alex Rodriguez and why he sucks. Jesus Christ get over yourselves. I’ve been an A-Rod fan since he was in Seattle (or at least as big a "fan" as I can get with professional athletes), and although I’m not going to buy his jersey anytime soon I feel for him in a way due to all the shit he puts up with from idiot fans and the media. OMG He’s making $25 million – we should be putting that money to our schools and saving the children; not paying ball players for playing a kids’ game! Fuck all you player-hating bitches. Just because some Texas owner overpaid a bit for him a few years back these class-warfare simpletons think that gives them enough reason to hate someone for taking the big payday. What really got me was when both radio stations were talking about how Mike Mussina supposedly called out A-Rod and a costly throwing error he committed in a recent game. So there I was waiting with baited breath at what this pitcher said, which was:
These sports radio people then proceeded to dissect this sound bite every which way. Goddamn. Don’t you people EVER bitch about a RIGHT-WING RADIO host goofing on some politician speaking on one of those Sunday morning news shows that nobody watches. It’s not like this is going to be the next McNabb/T.O. – the guy’s struggling in the field a bit and his teammate said that Rodriguez knows he can play better than how he is at the moment. Big deal. I’ve said before that I don’t consider myself to be a Yankee fan, but I don’t hate this “evil empire” because their owner likes to spend money. After hearing this shit for about 30 minutes, I turned back to the RIGHT-WING station to listen to a segment I had heard the day before. I now hope that A-Rod can stop doing his “Barry Bonds as a Pirate in postseason play” impersonation and win a World Series for his team by hitting .750 with 10 home runs in a four-game sweep of whatever team the National League throws his way this October. Maybe then he’ll get some breathing room to sunbathe in public.
Oh, and for the “A-Fraud” nation out there: he just became the youngest player to hit 450 round-trippers and has just notched his 2000th hit. And even if this guy never wins a championship, he has lived the American dream and will enjoy the rest of his life thanks to the fruits of his labor on the baseball field. How many of you will be able to retire by the time you’re 40?
• So Eddie Murphy is now going to marry that Scary Spice chick? Ha, I always knew she was a dude in drag. Besides, I preferred the one who married David Beckham.
• Last night I finally saw that South Park episode that Chef quit over; the one where Tom Cruise won’t come out of the closet. Goddamn, I was expecting something much worse than that. I’ve always liked the Mormon-bashing myself (dum dum dum dum dum). I haven’t watch South Park with any regularity since Season 7, so I didn’t catch this episode when it was first run. Then when Chef quit and Comedy Central pulled the plug on re-airing the show a few months ago I was jilted from watching it. I consider myself a South Park fan, and I love Matt and Trey’s sense of humor, but I hope they end this series before it gets old. I’d be interested to know how they would end this series; hopefully, they will get the time to do a good send-off, rather than receiving the “Married With Children” treatment.
• FIFA gave the Frenchie who retired from the sport after head-butting an opponent a three-game suspension, but gave the WAP who called him a dirty terrorist (allegedly) two games. The hell?
• Finally, a great idea regarding that whole “We didn’t land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on us” crowd. But let’s take it a few steps further. Let’s send back to Africa anyone who’s still pissed that their great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great granddaddy got captured by a rival tribe on the dark continent and shipped off to whitey. Hell, even if you weren’t from Africa I’d have no problem with you going over there and catching the AIDS or getting your arms chopped off by rebels in some piece of land that changes names every other week.
• I recently heard that some people from Oklahoma City bought the Seattle Sonics. (Or are they back to being “Super”?) And there’s talk about them moving to Dama territory. I don’t know much about the Seattle area, but it seems like the team is whining because the city doesn’t want to fund a new arena, so when the lease expires to their current place expires, David Stern and friends will take their ball and go home, or at least to the Midwest. If the WNBA Seattle Storm follows suit, I wonder if this will still go on at the new place? Damn you Sandmann9000 for exposing me to this shit.
• So the headline to this story says Bush knows many blacks mistrust GOP. Of course, Republicans want welfare eliminated and people to go to work. At least they do when there’s a Democrat President in the White House.
• Perhaps the Minutemen should take as much care watching where their funds travel as they do documenting when illegals cross over into America. In a way, this might be an encouraging sign. With corruption at the top levels of management, perhaps the Minuteman movement is gaining momentum. All we need now are a few sex scandals or something and perhaps Bush might make them a part of Homeland Security.
KKK’s Top 103 Poste_s
Numbe_ 72: The Th_ead Kille_
I didn’t know much about this guy until he came out of the closet. Is he a homo? I don’t know. Howeve_, he admitted something that’s much b_ave_ than that. He admitted to being a fan of mine. That could get you black-balled in some places. Too bad he’s olde_ than me and not a hot chick whose panties got wet eve_y time I said the magic wo_ds “OMG FAUX NEWS LOL2003/4/5/6!” Maybe he does wea_ panties and get them wet wheneve_ the ph_ase of the day is said, but that’s going down a path I’d _athe_ not t_avel – not that the_e’s anything w_ong with taking that _oad, it’s just that it’s a bit on the bumpy side, and my shocks a_e ve_y sensitive. He also “saved” the othe_ place, so that’s anothe_ plus. I don’t know if he’s an economist, but since he’s Canadian he would only be a f_action of what TSM’s Ame_ican mic_o/mac_o numbe_ c_unche_s a_e. Neve_theless, I’d still like him, but only in a plutonic sense.
And now a wo_d f_om the expe_t panel I have put togethe_ to comment on the people I’ve listed.
F_om Cance_ Ma_ney:
• So W finally decided to exe_cise the powe_ of his veto pen. And he came so close to going two te_ms without using it. Of cou_se, instead of x-ing out one of those bloated budgets he goes against emb_yonic stem-cell _esea_ch. Now I’m p_obably on the w_ong side of this issue, but the_e’s just something c_eepy about this. I can’t explain it, so if anyone wants to go “OMG U P_O-LIFE EXT_EMIST U WANTED CH_ISTOPHE_ _EEVE TO STAY IN THAT WHEELCHAI_” then go _ight ahead. And while Bush’s veto is going to supposedly kill millions upon millions of people, what just got _ejected? A bill pimping adult stem-cell _esea_ch. Why? Acco_ding to the a_ticle:
Yet _epublicans a_e the only ones playing politics with this issue.
• Hey, Bush is doing anothe_ fi_st. He’s going to add_ess the NAACP at thei_ convention fo_ the fi_st time. If a bomb went off at NAACP headqua_te_s I wouldn’t shed a tea_ – fuck that g_oup. What they did to W. du_ing the ’00 election was despicable when they _an an ad that compa_ed him opposing hate c_ime legislation to the (at the time) _ecent d_agging death of a black guy. Fuck these bitches. In the so_ta-wo_ds of black commentato_ Julianne Malveaux when she opined on Justice Thomas (just so I can’t be accused of being _ACIST): “You know, I hope the spouses of NAACP leade_s feed them lots of eggs and butte_ and they dies ea_ly like many black men do, of hea_t disease. Well, that’s how I feel. This is an absolutely _ep_ehensible ‘civil _ights’ g_oup."
• I liked the Cle_ks movie, although I only bought the ult_a-special DVD and not the supe_-10-yea_-you’_e-not-a-_eal-fan-if-you-don’t-buy-this-one edition. I’ve _ecently seen some p_eviews fo_ the sequel, and I wasn’t encou_aged. Well now I’m a bit mo_e optimistic. Still won’t see it in the theate_, though. A su_e-fi_e DVD pu_chase.
• The Ba__y-Bonds-is-getting-indicted talk is getting p_etty heated. I hea_d today that if this we_e to happen because he didn’t pay some hippie taxes, o_ whateve_ the case is, Majo_ League Baseball could suspend him, vi_tually squashing any _emote hope he has at catching Hank Aa_on’s home _un _eco_d. I hope this suspension doesn’t happen. No, I haven’t had a change of hea_t towa_d this asshole. I have my _easons. _eason 1) You a_e always innocent until p_oven guilty in this count_y, [unless you’_e Tom Delay] and he should be allowed to make a living. 2) I don’t want him in any way to become a sympathetic figu_e. 3) You thought the fan _eaction to him in the ea_ly pa_t of this yea_ was funny? Man, it’ll be kicked up a notch o_ th_ee should he get indicted; keep the funny signs coming.
• I’ll tell you what, wheneve_ I find this cocksucke_ I’m going to kick his ass. G__________________.
You may now pelt me with _otten pe_ishables.
• I’ve heard Paul Harvey say a number of things I never thought I’d hear some 100-year old guy reporting the news say. Yesterday was one of those times, what with him starting one story by saying, “Car owners like to pimp up their cars…”
• So Arizona, in hopes of bringing more people to the polls, is putting up for a referendum that if passed, would make one lucky person who bothers to vote a million dollars richer. Oh fuck no. First off, I’ve seen people that play the lottery and will only vote just to get a chance to become a millionaire (or whatever the amount is after the winnings are taxed). Believe me, you don’t want these people voting. Well, then again, considering there are a number of commies reading this blog, you probably do. I’m all about repressing the downtrodden. Let them play Powerball, just stay the hell out of my voting booth. While I hear many ads around election time telling people to “get out and vote,” I’m the exact opposite. If you don’t want to vote, then don’t. Chances are if you’re that lazy and stupid, you’ll probably vote Democrat, so stay home, eat your Cheetos and complain about how The Man is holding you back.
• Having read Bored's entry about the 1986 college football season, I was taken back to that night Penn State beat Miami in the Fiesta Bowl. It was a terrible night for driving in the Shittsburgh area with snow, sleet and ice everywhere. My half-brother, who was in high school at the time, was driving himself and me (a 10-year old kid) back to my old man’s residence when suddenly he hit some ice and slid into a guardrail. There was quite a hefty dent along the passenger side of the Nissan pickup truck, and we were fortunate enough to have a nearby family that heard the crash come out and offer us assistance. After getting over the initial adrenaline rush that accompanies any automobile accident, we were on our way back home. My half-brother was freaking out the entire time because he was so concerned about dad flipping out on him; I was trying to console him by saying he’ll just be glad that nobody got hurt. I then said, “Just take your time, drive safely and get us home. Then you can worry about it.” I was told years later that I was about three seconds away from being tossed out of the truck at that moment. Why do I bring this up? That PSU/Miami game was playing in the house of that family who took us in for a few minutes just to make sure we were OK. You want analysis of that year’s Top 25 ranking based on win-share totals and which teams ate more fiber at their pre-game meals? Go over to Bored’s place and stay there. You want stupid stories that have no meaning to your life outside of the time you wasted to read 500 or so words worth of gibberish? Then I’m glad not to disappoint ... again.
• Oh hell I might as well have some BREAKING NEWS to go with all of this shit. For those that participate in my football contest, I heard from nl-asshole that he probably won't participate this year due to the fact he's a little faggot-ass bitch. So if you were in the league last year and have a team for this year and want to switch over to the Pats, just say dibs. First come first served. And I'll be making an announcement about this year's contest in a few weeks, for those that care.
• Why do I watch this shit? So I had PTI on and Wilbon and LeBa-retard had a segment about Lance Armstrong’s joke at the ESPYs regarding some guy from that Brokeback Mountain movie. I didn’t bother watching the ESPYs because, well, I don’t give a shit about this stupid “awards” show, but they played the Armstrong joke about how it was odd that this actor was sitting in the front because he usually likes it in the rear. Get it? He played a homo. He takes it in the ass. Anyway, the PTI segment was about if this joke was offensive. Wilbon said something that made me laugh more than Armstrong’s joke, which did get a chuckle out of me. Wilbon said the joke was funny and not offensive. LeBa-retard countered with what if the homosexual community is offended by the statement. Wilbon then said that if that was the case then he’ll defer to the homos, but in the meantime he won’t. Hey dipshit, you either think something is offensive or not. If GLAAD or the Buttpluggers of America send out a press release bitching about how Armstrong is a homophobe, you don’t go “Well maybe it was offensive after all.” You either think something is offensive or it isn't. Then again, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised an ESPN talking head is talking out both sides of his ass.
• First a Ravens linebacker gets stabbed. Now a Cowboys safety gets shot. Who would have thought it'd be safer for these people to be out on the football field running into other grown men at full speed than it would be to be out in publc?
• I talked a while back about this house across from me that has been vacant for a while. Well last week we got new neighbors. Last Tuesday I saw them walking out of the house, and since I my mailbox is next to their house (all the block’s mailboxes are on one side of the road) and introduced myself. I offered my assistance if they needed and left. I really don’t care for neighbors. I have no problem with them, but the thing is I’ve learned that there are a lot of people in this world that want to be left alone. Sure I’m one of these anti-social assholes, but only to a point. I mean, I won’t tell my neighbors to fuck off if they say “hi” to me, but on the other hand I’m not one of these people that likes to engage in stupid small talk. Fortunately, this usually keeps most people away from me, but I digress. Jst about anywhere I lived I had to deal with people that wanted to be left alone, which is fine. When I was in Sappy Valley we were surrounded by college students that did their own things, which is to be expected. In Ohio I lived in a townhouse community and we had one neighbor that shared our front porch who we got along great with. The problem was whenever she moved out due to divorce we had two different sets of tenants that were … interesting. The first one was a guy and his teen-age daughter. He smoked nonstop and you could smell the smoke from his place in our downstairs bathroom. His daughter was a piece of work, too. A few times she BLASTED her stereo at all hours of the morning, and you could always hear her screaming and swearing at her old man. These people didn’t last a year before getting evicted. On the other side of me was this single mom with two spazoid kids and a little yapping dog. I remember the names of the two boys and dog: Matthew, Alex and Baby. How do I know this? Because the mom would always yell at them at the top of her lungs. While the better half hated hearing every little skirmish through our walls, I found it funny as hell. Then when her trucker boyfriend came over we usually heard them having sex, which I actually liked listening to. No, not because I’m some perverted voyeur, but rather because the moaning only lasted for about 20 seconds. I’m not going to brag about my performance in the sack because I’m humble like that, but if you’re an adult male getting poon on a regular basis, you need to last longer than half-a-minute. Goddamn.
After moving from Ohio to Pennsylvania, we lived in a duplex with this guy and his girlfriend. The guy was a redneck who was at least two months behind on his rent; I tried getting along with him at first. However, after a short while I just decided, “fuck it” and kept to myself. This place I live at now is good enough for me. I don’t talk to my one set of neighbors with the loudmouth dog, and I get along just fine with the old couple that lives on the other side of my property line. I have no idea how I’ll get along with these new people – from what my old neighbor told me, the husband’s a worker at some half-way house and the wife is a teacher at the local government school. The fact the wife’s a public school teacher tells me there’s probably at least one Democrat in that house; we’ll see when election season comes around and the political signs start getting placed in front yards. I wonder if they will react the same way the previous tenants of that house will should I put a “Rick Santorum,” “Lynn Swann” or “Tim Murphy” (our Republican incumbent Congressman) sign in our yard? (For those that don't remember, these people would always talk to Mrs. kkk, until we put out a "Bush 2004" sign in our yard after they, and a few other neighbors put out Kerry signs.)
So I look around occasionally for a side job or something to supplement my income – besides male prostitution, of course. Hell, I like to look around for something to replace my primary source of income, but I digress. A month or so ago I was browsing through Monster (or was it not-so-Hot Jobs?) when I came across this one ad that didn’t look quite the same as the thousand or so “Do you want to make REAL money now?” ads that are ordered by staffing agencies or those multi-level marketing places. I clicked on the link and basically it was a business that offered “cyber tours” of homes for sale. I was initially suspicious, as I always am when looking at jobs through this medium, but I figured oh what the hell. Although the words “minimal investment” shot off a red flag, it also said that it was part-time and that I can make my own hours. Hey, I work 6:30 a.m. - 3 p.m.; if I got to do this in the mid-afternoon whenever I wanted to during the workweek, I'd be a happy camper.
A week or so later I came home from work and played a message on the answering machine from some guy about this job. I called him back and we started talking. He seemed like a nice enough guy, and I was told that I would be employed on a contract basis, and I’d make $25-40 per each photo shoot. There was some mileage reimbursement, but that was only if the price of a gallon of gasoline went above a certain amount. That didn’t really bother me though, what shot off every red flag in my arsenal though was when talked about the “minimal investment.”
$1800.
I knew this would probably be where I get the rare opportunity to say in a job interview “Don’t call me, I’ll call you,” and sadly it was. As he finished his spiel and explained what the $1800 was for – company-specific camera, laptop, software and other equipment – I began punching up numbers on the handy calculator I had nearby because I knew I was going to use during this conversation. I noted to him that in order to pay off that $1800 “minimal investment” I would have to take pictures of 72 houses for $25 per shot. On the low end, if every house I took pictures of had a $40 bill, I would have to go on 45 different trips. I also said that if I were to go on five “assignments” per week (which is the figure he said I'd average to start out), I would have to work 2-4 months to pay off this “minimal investment.” I also noted that I wasn’t even including the taxes I'd be paying in any of these assessments, or the cost of wear-and-tear on my vehicle. When we wrapped this phone interview up, I was “offered” this job, but like I said before, I got to be on the giving end of this rejection offer, which is a nice feeling considering all the times in the past I have been given the old, “Your resume is very impressive, but you suck and we found someone else to do the job we advertised for in the newspaper, but we'll keep your resume 'on file' just so you can get out of our lives forever and leave us alone” rejection letter. So for that feeling alone, the whole experience was worthwhile.
