Chuck Woolery

I want to hear the story of the three-legged pony that died.

Hey guys, I've been looking for a football almanac online (similar to the baseball almanac) and I can't find one. Does anyone know if such a thing exists, and if it does where I can find it?

I'd like my name changed to "Mister Fucking Popularity". If this is too long, then "Mr. Fucking Popularity" will suffice. If you do not wish to use cursing, then "Mister F'n Popularity" will suffice. If this is too long and you do not wish to use cursing, then "Mr. F'n Popularity" will suffice. I am flexible.

I want to buy a Patty O'Green to walk next to me, give me free weed, and make my day that much happier every time I look to my left and see that I own him. I'd also like one for my office, if at all possible.

Quit fucking spamming our board before we request your banning, Frisco. It's plain to see you're flame baiting. Knock the shit off.

Tennessee CIN/JAX/NE/GB/OAK/PHI/CLE/CAR/NO/DEN/NYJ/TEN/STL/KC/28

Yeah, TNT didn't send me the roster in the original PM and I was in a bit of a rush when I wrote up the card. Word limits are edited in, as is Max King in the opening promo slot. Apologies to everyone who I may have screwed up.

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents... SWF Smarkdown, Monday, October 4, 2004! LIVE from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California! (6:00 PM PCT, 9:00 PM EST; check local listings) So the card's up late, but that means that you guys get an extra hour to write! Coming off a triple no-show, at least one double no-show, and a rushed match that I was a part of, let's see if that makes things better, shall we? But don't let the plethora of no-showing get you confused; Lockdown was a show of big happenings, with Austin Sly becoming the new Cruiserweight #1 contender, Christian Fury becoming the HCG #1 contender, and Uncle Filthy winning a match! Oh, and don't forget that main event angle... what will Smarkdown bring? Send everything to: realitycheck Opening Promo: "The Icon" Max King MAIN EVENT CAPTAIN FALL TAG MATCH Revolution Zero (Toxxic © and "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins) and "The Icon" Max King v. Andrea Montgomery © and Hollywood Boulevard (Mike Van Siclen and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez) -> Yeah, so TNT said I should book this match, before anybody thinks I'm trying to play favorites here. Davis is preoccupied with a Hardcore title defence later tonight, and as a result the new ICTV Champion Max King will be joining forces with the other two Revolution Zero members to take on Hollywood Boulevard and... Andrea Montgomery? Shouldn't she be pissed at Mike Van Siclen over his actions on Lockdown? Well, she's been guaranteed a rematch by Toxxic. Will that mend the burned bridge between her and Mike Van Siclen long enough for the faces to score the duke? Rules: The first team to pin the other team's captain wins the match. If another member of the other team is pinned, they must leave the match, but the match does not end until the captain is pinned. In case you can't figure it out, the heel captain is Toxxic; face captain is Andrea Montgomery. Marker: Grand Slam Word Limit: 7000 USJL TITLE MATCH David Cross© v. Danny Dagda -> So what, you ask, has Dagda done to deserve a USJL title shot? Absolutely nothing. However, sometimes emergency matches have to be made because people forget to give other people who don't have CC board access the roster. Because these people are idiots. But regardless! David Cross is a champion, and as such, eager to defend his title against all comers... unless he's a slimy Memphis champion who's trying to get out of defenses. Which I'm pretty sure he's not. I dunno; I haven't been paying a whole lot of attention lately, sorry. Rules: Standard singles rules. Marker: Suicide King Word Limit: 5500 CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH Ryan Dustin © v. Austin Sly -> Dustin no-showed in his bid to become USJL #1 contender last show. Not cool. As a result, the new #1 contender to Dustin's Cruiserweight title, Austin Sly, will get his shot at Dustin right away. Dustin impressed many people with his win at Genesis V, but is it possible he's just a one-hit wonder? Rules: Standard Cruiserweight rules. Marker: realitycheck Word Limit: 5000 SINGLES MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix v. Stryke -> Stryke was the victim of a HUGE upset on Lockdown, falling victim to Uncle Filthy. Meanwhile, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix had a victory stolen from him on Lockdown by Max King, and in the process had the ICTV Title taken from him as well. So naturally, since both got upset last show they'll face each other this show. Let's put it this way; after tonight, one of them will be very upset. Ah ha. Rules: Standard singles rules. Marker: chirs3 Word Limit: 4000 HARDCORE TITLE MATCH Sean Davis © v. Christian Fury -> This is why Sean Davis' name isn't up top. CC was so impressed with Davis' victory over Sly at Genesis that they're going to throw the newly christened (ha ha) Hardcore #1 contender, Christian Fury, at him right away. Fury didn't appear to have any rust on Lockdown, but in his second match back can he stand up to the imposing Rev-0 bruiser? Rules: None. Marker: Thoth Word Limit: 4500 USJL TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH Uncle Filthy v. Evan Wolfe -> Everybody's favorite wrestler, Uncle Filthy, picked up a huge win over former ICTV Champion Stryke on Lockdown. God knows I was impressed, and CC felt much the same way. As a result of Filthy's victory, and to a lesser extent the three guys in the last #1 contenders' match no-showing, he finds himself in line for a USJL Title shot. Standing in his way? Newcomer Evan Wolfe, who would absolutely hate to be the bearer of bad news for Filthy. See, I read the stats page... Rules: Standard singles rules. Marker: Suicide King Word Limit: 4000 NEW GUY MATCH "Blind" Ryan Klein v. Carnage -> Stepping up to the plate for blind people everywhere is "Blind" Ryan Klein. He seems like an intelligent enough individual, but can he use those smarts to steal a win from fellow newcomer Carnage? Rules: Standard singles rules. Marker: chirs3 Word Limit: 3500

Crystal is hawt. Nicely done, NYU. Stuff like this keeps people interested in the fed.

Shift me to the bottom of the list until I can get a hold of a credit card, please. If anybody wants to be generous and let me use a credit card... well, you're fucking insane, but I'd be willing to cover all expenses (not to mention be eternally grateful) if you're willing.

In case this doesn't get closed, I'll jump on. Here's to you, Curbed Enthusiasm... word. 2 - Chuck Woolery http://www.freeiPods.com/default.aspx?referer=9686775

And we hit Wakefield pretty well. Little moral victory. We use to hit Wakefield pretty well before last years ALCS. I don't know what the hell happened between the start of the ALCS till now. Wakefield is a monster in the playoffs, for some bizarre reason... it's been that way since he was with the Pirates.

I second this information. I even have the book laying around to verify. I do believe that would be full-length animated film, but feel free to check.

What's the over-under on "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park being the theme for Survivor Series?

Yeah, that was me. I've commented on the matches to a few guys personally. If you want comments feel free to ask me in chat. Madprops to Spike/Sean for finally beating me, and we'll get you sons of bitches soon enough.

Tennessee. AZ/BAL/MIN/CLE/HOU/TEN/STL/DET/PIT/SD/IND/SF/TB/DAL/21 I find irony in Arizona picking Atlanta and vice versa. I'm sure it happens all the time, but this is the first time I noticed it.

I was very much rooting for Colin and Christie, but them coming in second is okay (I suppose). Chip and Kim winning was a great moment, though. And Chip is most definitely a pimp daddy. Not as good as the Zach and Flo season, though. They were awesome.

So, uh, I think our challengers wrote more than us, and they both had one more match to write. ... that sucks.

MAIN EVENT SINGLES MATCH WORLD TITLE BOUT Johnny Dangerous© vs Toxxic -> Johnny DANGEROUS~! HANDICAP MATCH The Suicide King, "The Superior One" Tom Flesher and Chris Raynor vs "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix... -> Team Face, since who knows if anyone from team heel will be around next week. CANADIAN DEATH MATCH USJL CANADIAN CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT Ace Lezaire© vs David Cross -> Gogo Muzz because... uh... gogo. TAG TEAM TITLE BOUT Hollywood Boulevard© vs Revolution Zero -> This is the first match in a long time I wouldn't mind losing. But we're not going to. SINGLES MATCH "The Notorious" John Duran vs ??? -> I think I know who ??? is, and I think there's a very strong chance that the Notorious one will pick up the win. CAGED FURY Manson vs Max King -> Max King has picked it up a lot, so we'll say him. HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT Sean Davis© vs Austin Sly -> 2 Sly. BATTLE ROYALE Candace vs Danny Dagda vs Andrea Montgomery vs Jamie Drazon -> All four can bring it, but I'm thinking Dagda because dude, this is some dank shit I've got right now. LADDER MATCH CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT Ryan Dustin vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs The Birdman -> The Birdman, dad, he flies in any weather.

Man, I've been trying to relate that song to my life for weeks. "MIKE! MIKE MIKE MIKE! MIKE MIKE MIKE! Mike's the man, wrestlin' at Genesis. Jobbing Spike, jobbing Davis." You like?

I have a great idea for an opening, actually, so if Toxx wants to do it I'll tell him, or I can just do it myself.

Can't win 'em all, I suppose. In my case, can't win more than 50% of 'em.

As a note, Janus, I told you the chair was always in the ring.

Candace, sad to see you go. I'm sure you could've gotten better. Regardless... somebody please close this thread now, I think its usefulness was gone long ago.

I vote absolutely not and the marker award bonus points to whoever has the most creative death of Candace. It can be like the Clusterfuck right after Stubby got banned.