Mr. S£im Citrus

Okay, fine: who besides Lakers/Heat fans care?

Thirteen. Seriously; my family was having dinner at a Chinese restaurant, and my mom blurts it out. And, being thirteen, I had to pretend like I already knew, but the whole time, I'm trying to hold back tears. It was really pathetic.

ESPN.com: Arbitrator reduces O'Neal's supsension by ten games If this ruling holds up, JO would be eligible to play just in time for the big Christmas throwdown. How fucking convenient...

You bitching and complaining about my bitching and complaining about bitching and complaining has created a staggering tower of irony that looms ominous and horrible over this thread. :: shrugs :: As long as you acknowledge it for what it is, I've got no beef...

Sure; no sense keeping the rest of us in suspense...

Hrmm... by comparison, I'm "much" better at an astonishing 1-8 (not counting co-writes/collaborations). Interestingly enough, the only legit singles PPV win of my career was against Flesher; figure that one out...

:: shrugs :: Maybe it's a white thing...

What's the character limit for PM's, anyway?

Michelle Branch is a little underdeveloped for my tastes. Morgan Webb? There's something about her face that just strikes me as... odd... in a bad way.

Bah; Molly >>>>>>>>>>>> Lita I guess when you join R-0, you lose your taste in women...

I think our match is in... I hope... EDIT - someone has a worse PPV record than me? That unpossible!

You know Silent, for someone who seems to hate it when other people bitch and complain, you sure seem to bitch and complain an awful lot...

Since about July 14th. IF the Lakers make the playoffs this season, they're first round and out, since they won't win homecourt, and the only team that might get homecourt that they could even win a game against is Sacramento.

.... Well, that was a shitty way to start my leave...

Yahoo! News: Don't Read This One...

I must echo the Molly love.

??? How can you even say something like that in jest? That's beyond assholish.

My God. I can only surmise that those of you who find this funny don't have any children of your own...

Chris F. Webber! WHOOO! I say WHOOO, dammit!

That's hilarious.

Raw: Benoit, Molly, Benjamin, Victoria Smackdown: E. Guererro, C. Guererro, Mysterio, London, Haas, Cena Which works out to about 11.2 percent... And half of the ones I like can't seem to get on television... which would probably account for why I've barely watched any wrestling in the past year...

Damn; so now I stand alone as the "old guy in the fed." Fair winds and following seas, "Mark." Thanks again for your years of contribution to the fed. - Dub Cee

Last Updated: Updated 6/8. Changed: Significant editing done to descriptions in stats, and took out some qualifiers that weren't really necessary. Last MAJOR update: 2/4. ======================= Smarks Board Name: Mr. S£im Citrus Wrestlers Name: Wildchild Alias: The Bahama Bomber, The Caribbean Cruiser (or Cruiserweight), the Tropical Tumbler, the Human Hurricane Height: 5'11'' Weight: 214 lbs. Hometown: Morgan's Bluff, Andros, Commonwealth of the Bahamas (usually just announced as "from the Bahamas.") Age: 22 Face/Heel: Face Stable: None Tag Team: Wild and Dangerous Ring Escort: None Weapon(s): See Wrestling Attire Quote: None (note: Wildchild speaks in a Creole accent) Important Character Note: Wildchild will not usually bleed, even in hardcore matches. See Rare Moves for details. Looks: Wildchild has caramel-colored skin and shoulder-length braided black hair. He has light brown (sandy brown?) eyes. He appears toned, but is not overly muscular, and is hairless except for the hair on his head. He also now has tattoos all over his upper body: · Across his throat, a one-inch braided pattern resembling a rope · Across his right shoulder and down his back is a thin black outline bordering the scar from his reconstructive surgery, made a necessity by a vicious attack at the hands of Mike Van Siclen. Written vertically to the left of the outline are the words “n'oubliez jamais, ne pardonnez jamais” in bloodied text: “never forget, never forgive.” · Across his back, a weeping angel, surrounded by the faces of Henri, Diana, Marius and Lillian, Wildchild’s parents and two siblings. · On his left bicep, the LeCroix family crest. Wrestling attire: Wildchild wears knee-length solid black "Olympic-style" wrestling tights (a la Mr. Perfect), with the National Flag of the Bahamas running vertically down each leg. He wears heavy black facepaint across his eyes that covers the upper portion of his face, and streaks down his cheeks. He wears black kneepads with black tae kwon do-style footpads, and wraps his arms in heavy gauze, from his knuckles up to his elbows, in order to give a little extra impact to his punches. Additionally, he now wears shin guards which are painted to resemble the National Flag of the Bahamas. These can, and will be used as weapons in hardcore matches, as Wildchild will often reverse the shin guards to cause his patented leg lariat to hit with devastating force! For ease of reference, a picture of the flag of the Bahamas can be seen below: Ring Entrance: For singles matches, Wildchild comes down to the ring to Redman's "Let's Get Dirty." Stats: ¯¯¯¯¯ Strength: 2 - Wildchild relies much more upon leverage and momentum to chop down his opponents than power. He will not win a test of strength against anybody... EVER, but his hit-and-run offensive style makes it unnecessary. His strength is really only a factor when using his finishers, and even then, he generally only uses his primary finisher against other Cruiserweights. After all, if your primary offensive strategy consists of hurling your body through the air at the speed of light, it doesn't really matter how strong you are, does it? Speed: 10 - Wildchild is the fastest wrestler in the SWF, and by far the most acrobatic; this is due to the fact that, before he became the Wildchild, Dominic LeCroix was an actual, trained, professional circus acrobat. He utilizes his speed and agility to his fullest advantage, and has a great deal of "high-risk" attacks in his repertoire. Wildchild's ability to strike quickly and elusively is what makes him such a dangerous opponent. Vitality: 5 - Wildchild has an extremely high degree of flexibility, stamina and endurance, due to his physical conditioning. Will be able to withstand most wear-down holds and some submissions, but will go down to ANY impact finisher. Charisma: 3 - Wildchild is not an overly skilled mic worker, but has developed a strong cult following, due to his magnetic personality and exciting maneuvers. The crowd pops HUGE in anticipation whenever Wildchild goes to the top rope. Style: Technical high-flier, with extremely Lucha tendencies. He is a capable mat wrestler, having a respectable, if uninspiring, wrestling background, but wrestling on the mat goes against Wildchild's instincts; he is in constant motion, and is always either running to the ropes, or flying off them. Wildchild's strategy is to use his superior speed and maneuverability to tire his opponents out, and to use his body as a weapon, battering his opponents with high-speed flying attacks until they wear down. High-risk maneuvers are a staple of Wildchild's offense, and he will often perform an ornate, flashy move when a much more conventional move would have had the same effect. The key to writing Wildchild is to make the most of his athleticism, and write lots and lots (and LOTS) of high spots. As an unintentional by-product of his time working for Ejiro Fasaki, Wildchild has become a slightly more adept technical wrestler, and will occasionally utilize a takedown that enables him to follow up with a high-speed attck. One of the staples of his offense, for example, has become a waistlock takedown into a running senton splash. Additionally, Wildchild has become more of a brawler, depending more heavily on punches than ever before. He has even begun wrapping his hands and arms in heavy gauze in an attempt to give more force to his punches. Despite the fact that he lacks great strength, Wildchild's phenomenal speed and agility often allow him to hit his opponents several times before they even have the opportunity to strike back. Wildchild's speed and agility makes him highly effective against strikers, against whom Wildchild can use his superior speed to dodge the majority of their offense. He is least effective versus power wrestlers and grapplers, who are often able to dictate the pace of the match, and take him out of the air. Signature moves (in order of use): Leg Lariat Important Character Notes: 1 – Wildchild does not use clotheslines; partially due to his relative lack of upper body strength, but mostly because he just plain doesn't like to. Please use leg lariats whenever you want to write a clothesline spot. 2 – Wildchild will attempt a leg lariat at least once in every match. Pinball: Slingshot rolling ball attack. This is Wildchild's premier signature move. Wildchild runs towards the ropes, jumps onto the top rope, curls into a ball, and launches himself at his opponents' head/upper torso. Maximum effective range: 8 feet. VERY high-speed attack. Not finisher strength, but virtually impossible to dodge, due to Wildchild's speed. Character note: The Pinball attack will not be blocked or dodged by anyone with speed rating lower than 8. Freefall (Airborne monkey-flip): Wildchild whips his opponents to the ropes, leaps up towards their chest (as if attempting to execute a Lou Thesz press), hooks his hands behind his opponents' head, and throws his opponent in monkey-flip fashion (think Scorpion's Air Throw from Mortal Kombat II). Can also be used to counter certain top rope moves. Wildchild often lands on his feet after executing this move. Caribbean Cutter (Rocker Dropper): This is Wildchild's primary "out of nowhere" transition move (KICK! WHAM! CUTTER~!), used most often as a momentum changer. The CC has knockout potential, and can be used as an alternate finisher against wrestlers with a vitality rating of 5 or less. Neck Wrecker (Springboard Hangman's neckbreaker): Wildchild sets this move up by placing his opponent in a sitting position on the top turnbuckle. He takes a running leap onto the second rope behind his opponent and springs into the air, locking his hands around his opponent's neck before twisting around to face the ring, as he falls back down to the canvas, taking his opponent down with him. Basically, it's a Rude Awakening done from the top rope. Springboard DDT: After knocking his opponents to the ring apron, Wildchild leaps to the second turnbuckle, jumps over the top rope, and hits his opponent with a Tornado DDT to the arena floor (think Chris Jericho's springboard dropkick to the outside, except with a Tornado DDT.) Andros Dive: Wildchild’s tremendous agility enables him to easily walk, or even run, across the top rope. The Andros Dive is when Wildchild climbs onto the top turnbuckle of any corner of the ring, and runs across the top rope, leaping outside the ring when he reaches the other turnbuckle, and diving out onto his opponent. This is one of Wildchild’s most varied and dangerous attacks, and he has finished the dive with maneuvers ranging from a cross-body block to a dropkick to a flying headscissors (creativity is the key when writing Wildchild, so be creative). Whiplash (Standing Flipping Neck Snap): Wildchild runs to the ropes behind his opponent, while they are either standing or on their knees, leaps into the air and flips over them, grabbing their heads as flies over and slams them face first into the canvas (e.g., John Cena's "Throwback"). Presumed Guilty (Springboard Jump Swinging DDT): Wildchild will leap from the ring apron onto the top rope and spring into the ring, snaring his opponent's head in a front facelock and swinging around, driving their face into the mat with a DDT. Note: During an angle in 2003, Wildchild used Presumed Guilty as a finisher; it has scored clean pinfall victories over several wrestlers, some of whom are former World Heavyweight Champions. Do not no-sell this move without at least giving me a heads up. Andros Drop: Twisting body splash. Wildchild ascends to the top rope, leaps off towards his opponent, while rotating across a horizontal axis, with his arms extended in a "T" (crucifix) position (think Evan Karagias' pre-3 Count finisher; once again, I apologize if I have the name wrong.). Common moves: Blue Crush (Twisting Vertical Body Splash in the corner): "Stinger" Splash in the corner, proceeded by a twist. It's kinda like a 360º dunk... except it's a splash in the corner... Top Rope/Turnbuckle Sunset Flip. Various Handspring attacks (elbow, cross-body, flying forearm, will sometimes just handspring and backflip over his opponent to set up something else entirely.) Moonsault press Flying Forearm "Shooting Star" Missile Dropkick (Missile Dropkick preceded by a forward flip) Corkscrew Vertical Suplex: Wildchild lifts his opponents over head in a vertical suplex position, and spins around 270º degrees before dropping his opponent to the canvas. Running Senton Splash Flying Back Elbow Smash Miscellaneous cruiserweight moves (armdrags, cross-body blocks, La Majistral, ranas, etc.) Shuffling Sidekick Gamengiri: Standing either directly in front of, or just beside his opponent, Wildchild leaps into the air and whips his far leg towards his opponent's face, striking them in the face with the lower part of his leg. It's similar in appearance to an enzugiri, except that it's done to the face instead of the back of the head. Top Rope/Turnbuckle Senton Splash Top Rope/Turnbuckle Fistdrop Monkey Flip (executed from the corner) Bulldog Headlock Backflip kick (typically executed following a leapfrog) Suicide Dive to the outside Top rope elbow smash Running elbow drop Rare moves: Falling Star Press: Wildchild will run either to the ropes or the corner and leap onto the top rope (or top turnbuckle). He will then, without hesitation, leap backwards, somersaulting forwards as he descends upon his opponent. He will rotate approximately 450 degrees in the air before landing. Wildchild depends on his speed, and the ability for him to hit this move "out of nowhere," for it to be most effective. Note: Another "please don't no-sell without asking move," Wildchild found himself using the Falling Star Bomb more than the Wild Ride as his main finisher when he first got bumped to the SWF, due to the lack of Cruiserweight opposition. Bahama Bomb (Top Rope Sunset Flip Powerbomb): Wildchild sets up this maneuver by positioning his opponent in a seated position on the top turnbuckle, with his back facing the ring. He steps out onto the ring apron and ascends to the top turnbuckle, so that he is facing his opponent. Leaping over his opponents’ head, Wildchild latches his arms around the victim's waist and pulls him off the turnbuckle, using leverage and momentum, rather than power, to drive his opponent into the canvas. Blood Frenzy (Not to be used without my permission): Whenever he sees his own blood, Wildchild enters a state of frenzy. During this frenzy, he is much more aggressive, with a tendency to execute more physically impacting (read: head dropping) moves, and fewer acrobatic ones (e.g., ranas). Due to the adreanaline running through his veins, Wildchild becomes stronger and more resistant to pain, at the expense of some of his speed, causing his moves to do more damage. But this greater strength is not without a price: in addition to lesser speed and slower reaction time, Wildchild loses the ability to run across, or even balance on, the top ropes, although he retains the ability to climb the turnbuckles. During Blood Frenzy, Wildchild is able to no-sell for very short periods of time (which basically means that he'll probably no-sell a few punches or a headbutt, and that's about it). Wildchild's stats while in Blood Frenzy are as follows: Strength: 5 Speed: 7 Vitality: 7 Charisma: 1 Wildchild typically remains in Blood Frenzy for approximately ten minutes, or until he hears the bell ring, whichever comes first. Note: Blood Frenzy is reserved for intense and/or long-term feuds (see: WC/Ejiro from SJL) Finishers: Primary: The Wild Ride: Mexican Clutch Bomb (aka Vertebreaker). Wildchild bends his opponent over at the waist and stands in front of him, with his back to the opponent. He locks his left arm with the opponent's left arm, and his right arm with the opponent's right. Wildchild then rotates his body so that he underneath his opponent, bent over at the waist, with his opponent draped over his back. Wildchild then stands erect, leaving his opponent hanging upside down on his back, their legs dangling off his shoulders. Wildchild then swings his feet off the canvas in front of him, and drops to his posterior, driving his opponent head first into the canvas. This drop is often preceded by a primal scream. *Rarely done against wrestlers above 230 pounds, due to Wildchild's relative lack of physical strength. Not used against wrestlers weighing more than 250 pounds NOTE: Do not kick out of the Wild Ride without asking me first! I have two other finishers; if you want to no-sell WC's finisher, use one of those. Secondary: The Wild-Driver: Reverse Double-Underhook Piledriver. This moves starts out the same way as the Wild Ride, where Wildchild bends his opponent over at the waist and stands in front of him, with his back to the opponent. He locks his left arm with the opponent's left arm, and his right arm with the opponent's right. At this point, the maneuver deviates from the Wild Ride, as Wildchild kicks his legs out from under him and drops straight down, driving his opponent's head into the canvas. This move is similar in function to Christian's "Unprettier," but is more of a head bump than a face bump. This maneuver is Wildchild's most frequent finisher against opponent's weighing more than 230 pounds, especially if he has done extensive head/neck work during the match. Aerial: Falling Star Bomb: 720º Vertical Splash. Wildchild leaps from the top turnbuckle, and turns two full flips as he falls through the air, before crashing onto his opponent's chest. It's the same move as Doink's Whoopee Cushion, except preceeded by two flips. The Falling Star Bomb is now Wildchild's primary finisher against wrestlers who are simply too large for him to apply either the Wild Ride or the Wild-Driver (e.g. Thugg). He will also use this finisher when he has done extensive rib/back work on his opponent Notes: The Wildchild is VERY athletic, a reflection of his background as a circus performer, and has an unnaturally high degree of balance and agility. His ability to easily balance on the ropes, as well as his ability to leap atop the turnbuckles without stumbling enables him to hit flying attacks with a high degree of speed and accuracy. He is very comfortable walking, and even running, across the top rope, due to his experience as a high-wire artist, and uses the ropes for many of his various springboard attacks. Wildchild is able to leap to extraordinary heights, and gets more air than any other performer in the SWF, giving even greater impact to his many flying attacks. As a result of the time that he spent as Ejiro Fasaki’s unwilling ‘apprentice,’ Wildchild has unintentionally introduced a few more technical aspects to his wrestling, employing a far greater number of takedowns and wear-down holds. Despite this, high-speed and high-risk maneuvers remain the "meat and potatoes" of his offense. Bio: Part One available upon request Part Two: Wild and Dangerous, two-time SWF Tag Team Champions lost their championship at Battleground ’04. One week later, Wildchild was engaged in singles competition, when Mike Van Siclen brutally attacked him, putting him on the shelf for several months. Having become disillusioned by professional wrestling, Wildchild was content to take an extended leave of absence from the SWF. In October of 2004, Wildchild’s family home in the Bahamas was ravaged by Hurricane Jeanne, and all of the members of his family were killed by the storm. In a severe depression, Wildchild attempted suicide, only to be saved by Johnny Dangerous. Johnny brought Wildchild back to the United States and helped him to deal with his grief. Now, Wild and Dangerous have returned to the SWF, and having become the first three-time World Tag Team Champions in IGNWF/SWF history, they have their sights creating their own unique place in history. ======== Wild and Dangerous Team Members: Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous Combined weight: 431 pounds Alignment: Face Wrestling attire: Wildchild wears knee-length solid black "Olympic-style" wrestling tights (a la Mr. Perfect), with the National Flag of the Bahamas running vertically down each leg. He wears heavy black facepaint across his eyes that covers the upper portion of his face, and streaks down his cheeks. He wears black kneepads with black tae kwon do-style footpads, and wraps his arms in heavy gauze, from his knuckles up to his elbows, in order to give a little extra impact to his punches. Johnny wears knee-length solid black "Olympic-style" wrestling tights, with the flag of the United States of America running vertically down each leg. He wears black kneepads and black wrestling boots, and keeps his hair slicked back. Ring Entrance: Wild and Dangerous come down to the ring to “Fuel My Fire” by the Prodigy Note: Wildchild always starts out tag team matches for Wild and Dangerous. Style: Wild and Dangerous are the SWF's premier tag team, in terms of tandem double-team maneuvers. Since they tend to have a distinct size disadvantage against most of their opponents, they utilize double-team maneuvers early and often to chop their opponents down to size. They are both high-fliers, and many of their double teams involve one or both of them coming off the top rope. Remember, W&D's trademark is lots and LOTS of double teams, so spare no expense. Tag Team Moves: Wild and Dangerous employ a litany of double-team maneuvers, which include, but are not limited to: Slam Dance: Johnny will drape an opponent's upper body on the top rope and grab them by the legs, effectively dangling them horizontally off the top rope. Wildchild will race towards the opposite edge of the ring, bouncing off the ropes to build momentum, and leap Johnny's shoulders, landing across the victim's back (This maneuver was used often by the Fabulous Rougeaus, as well as the WGTT). Super Chicklet Buster: double superkick E.L.E. (Extinction Level Event): With their intended victim lying on the mat, Wildchild will leap from one turnbuckle to execute a shooting-star frogsplash as Johnny leaps from the opposite turnbuckle to deliver a corkscrew legdrop. Double shoulderblock: Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous will both leap from the same turnbuckle, smashing into their opponent with a flying double-shoulderblock. Drop toehold (executed by Johnny Dangerous) into running knee smash (executed by Wildchild) Double leg-whip powerbomb: With their opponent lying on their back, Wildchild and Johnny each grapevine one of the victim's legs with their near leg. They reach across their bodies with their far arms and lock hands, and then roll forward, pulling the victim off the mat and through the air before slamming them back down to the mat (Tajiri and Whipwreck used to do this all the time in ECW). Miscellaneous double-team maneuvers (double hiptoss, double dropkick, double suplex, double DDT, etc.) Slingshot maneuvers (Johnny delivers slingshot unless otherwise stated): - Slingshot into Pinball - Slingshot into Dropkick - Slingshot into Cross Body Block - Slingshot into Clothesline (Clothesline delivered by Johnny) - Slingshot into Blockbuster (Blockbuster delivered by Johnny): With Johnny standing on the top turnbuckle, Wildchild grabs the victim by the legs and falls backwards, propelling him towards the corner with a slingshot. Johnny leaps off the top turnbuckle, ensnaring the victim's head at the apex of the swing, and driving them backwards back down to the canvas with a top rope neckbreaker (Blockbuster). Finishers: Primary: Dangerous Drop (Electric Chair Drop/Top Rope Bulldog combination): Johnny places the victim on his shoulders and faces the center of the ring while Wildchild leaps off the top rope, grabbing the victims head with a side headlock on the way down, and Johnny sits down suddenly in an Electric Chair drop, basically creating an assisted top rope bulldog. Alternate: Silver Bullet (Backdrop/Flying Forearm combination): Johnny whips the intended victim to the ropes as Wildchild ascends to the top rope. Johnny lifts the victim high into the air for a big back bodydrop as Wildchild explodes off the top turnbuckle, blasting the airborne victim in the face with a flying forearm. He will usually land on top of them, often for the pin. Note: Wild and Dangerous usually set up this move, but Wildchild's ability to quickly get to the top rope, combined with the often unpredictably sudden nature of a backdrop makes this a very easy maneuver for Wild and Dangerous to hit out of nowhere.

Kings get back on track with a tough win against a proud but outmanned Pacers squad... Meanwhile, the one team in the league that has mind control over my Kings gets owned by the Chicago F. Bulls...