Mr. S£im Citrus

Banned from what? The fed? Or is this a chat thing?

SWF Sunday Night Frost and HOLT report January 30, 2005 Washington DC, at MCI Center Report by John Logan of Pokomoke, Maryland, Smartmarks.com reader Frost: Much like the SWF in general over the past several months, Frost was monopolized by Toxxic and Revolution Zero: - Carnage beat the Memphis Eel in 5:44 with the tombstone piledriver. - There was a video package featuring Toxxic, and the significance of his rookie year in the SWF. Following the video, they showed the first part of a three-part interview with Toxxic, conducted by Ben Hardy. Hardy mentioned that Toxxic made his SWF debut after Clusterfuck ’04, and that this was his first experience at the SWF’s second-biggest pay-per-view. Toxxic acknowledged this and said that he was looking forward to dominating Clusterfuck the same way that he dominated every other pay-per-view event in his rookie year. - Perfect Bo and Jamie Drazon beat Déjà Vu in 6:38, when Bo caught Kross in the Wild Out. - They showed another video package, which was meant to illustrate Toxxic’s role in the SWF’s pay-per-views over the past year. The interview then continued with Hardy mentioning how Toxxic made his PPV debut at Battleground ’04, and has either won or defended a championship at nearly every SWF pay-per-view he has appeared on until tonight. He then asked Toxxic if he had to make any kind of mental adjustment to go from main-eventing Slay Ride to “jerking the curtain” at Clusterfuck. I thought that Toxxic’s head was going to explode for a minute: his face turned beet-red, his eyes practically bulged out of his their sockets, and he looked like he was going to grind all the teeth out of his mouth… but he composed himself after a few seconds, and replied by saying that the ‘Fuck was a unique pay-per-view event, and that the nature of the feature attraction (the battle royal) sometimes meant that Main Event-caliber talent occasionally has to open up the show, citing last year’s ‘Fuck, where Tom Flesher and Wildchild opened the show in a ladder match. At this point, Hardy countered by pointing out that Tom Flesher had also went from losing the World Heavyweight Title at the Main Event of the Christmas pay-per-view to opening up Clusterfuck, and furthermore pointed out that Flesher never re-gained the World Title, and asked Toxxic if he expected history to repeat himself, which caused Toxxic to grab Hardy by the collar and shove him forcefully against the wall! I didn’t catch what Toxxic said to him, because I was too busy trying to figure out when Hardy suddenly grew a set of balls! - Andrea Montgomery beat Kelly Connelly in a SWF Women’s Championship match in 4:07 by count-out, when Max King pulled her out of the ring to avoid Drea’s Springboard 450, and subsequently left ringside. - I thought for sure that the interview was over after Hardy’s last question, but they actually went ahead with it! There was a short video package to show the formation of Revolution Zero, and ending with Sacred winning the World Heavyweight Title. Hardy mentioned that Revolution Zero had a unique opportunity to “run the table” at the Clusterfuck, by winning all three matches, to which Toxxic said that it wasn’t an opportunity, but an eventuality. Hardy then asked Toxxic to comment on the rumors about there being problems in Revolution Zero since Sacred joined the group. Toxxic replied by saying that a rumor was all it was, fabricated by those who want to be where they were, which is on top of the SWF. He said that Sacred had never given him any reason to doubt his loyalty, and that his role in Revolution Zero was not in question. He further said that Revolution Zero was as strong as it ever was. Hardy asked whether Toxxic would rather see Sean Davis or Spike Jenkins win the ‘Fuck, and Toxxic declined to answer. Hardy then asked Toxxic who he would back if it came down to Sacred and another member of Revolution Zero, and Toxxic again declined to answer. Finally, Hardy asked him what it was like when, for a few days after Sacred won the World Title, Toxxic was the only wrestler without championship gold in his own stable. At that point, Toxxic finally lost it, and punched Hardy in the face, screaming, “this interview is over, sunshine,” before storming off the set! - Ann Onita beat Brian Levy in 7:51 with the Triple C. - A swank video package was shown, featuring the sixteen announced Clusterfuck participants, as Frost came to close. Clusterfuck: - Big win for Horrorcore! It was a nice change of pace to see a match like that on a major PPV. Toxxic put up a good fight, but I knew when Dace kicked out of the TSS that Toxxic wasn’t going to be able to beat him this time! - Prior to the start of the ‘Fuck, Funyon recognized hometown SWF Legends Xstasy and HVT, who were seated in a skybox. - Just as the referee’s convince Spike Jenkins to head backstage, Wildchild runs down and attacks him! Referees can’t separate the two cruiserweights, who take their fight all the way into the crowd! - Revolution Zero put a man-sized whipping on Sacred! They left him lying in a pool of blood, and Toxxic draped the World Title on top of him. I was waiting for someone to come down and save Sacred, or at least fight R-0, but Sacred was on his own. Biggest Pops 1) Landon Maddix 2) Mak Francis 3) The Boston Strangler 4) Dace Night 5) Charlie Matthews Most Heat 1) Toxxic 2) Sacred 3) Sean Davis 4) Manson 5) Spike Jenkins

Well, without bothering to reply in-depth, a quick scan of the match shows that you forgot to change some of those edits I told you about. In particular, there are at least two eliminations (Grappler and Stryke) that should have been credited to Strangler that you cut-and-pasted WC's name for...

.... Yeah, let's just say that I stand by what I wrote in my e-mail, and move on...

So... I take it that this is what you were referring to in your e-mail?

Congrats to Sacred for retaining, and to Dace for finally getting one back. And an extra-emphatic congratulations for Landon on winning the 'Fuck; helluva match! However, you do realize, of course, that the next time you whine about a word limit, I'm going to beat your skull in with a golf club, right?

So, has the winner of the battle royal not, in fact, been chosen yet, or did I read that wrong? EDIT - inadvertantly made a post here instead of quoting. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

I generally find it much easier to reply to threads when I am able to connect to the internet. Why don't you bug your R-0 buddies about why none of them haven't replied to it, instead of taking random, unprovoked digs at W&D? Jerk. :: reads thread :: I must say that it is actually a good promo. Kinda King Lear-ish, especially if it turns out to be prophetic.

Correctly guessing the first elimination; Alan Clark Correctly guessing the winner of the Clusterfuck; Johnny Dangerous Correctly guessing the “Iron Man” of the Clusterfuck (in the ring the longest): Wildchild Correctly guessing who will be in the ring for the shortest amount of time: Danny Dagda Correctly guessing who has the most eliminations: Wildchild Correctly guessing who will be the last person eliminated before the final three: Max King Correctly guessing who is pinned to end the match; Landon Maddix Correctly guessing the final three; Wildchild, Johnny Dangerous, Landon Maddix Correctly guessing the number of no-shows for Clusterfuck; 11

:: sighs :: Okay, so how does the triple threat part work: first fall wins, or elimination?

I suppose that I should congratulate Spike on another Cruiserweight Title defense, but this: Is just sloppy; you couldn't even be bothered to change the names? I'll comment on the rest of the show later... or maybe I'll do a HOLT instead...

!!!! .... :: bites tongue ::

What? Jobbing in the Main Event of the syndicated show too good for you?

SWF Smarkdown HOLT report January 19, 2005 Providence, Rhode Island at Dunkin’ Donuts Center Report by Mike Gage of Dover, DE, Smartmarks.com reader What a kick-ass show! Dark Matches: - Andrea Montgomery beat Rob Gilbert in 3:41 with Done and Dusted. - Dominic Korgath crushed Ryan Dustin in about forty seconds, nailing him with a chokeslam as soon as the bell rang, and then immediately snatching him up in the Torture Rack. Wrath Tapings: - John Duran came down to the ring, complaining about how there was some kind of conspiracy to keep him off television, and said that he needed a big win to get back in the good graces of the powers that be, so the crowd erupted when “Night of Fire” started to play, and Ced came down to ringside! It was a very fast-paced match, and Duran was pretty much in control, but he went off the deep end when Ced started to make a comeback, and got himself disqualified at 7:16 for hitting Ced in the face with a steel chair. - Wildchild beat Manson in 8:22. Before the match, Manson got on the microphone and said that he still owed Dub Cee from when he almost ended Manson’s career in the JL. The match was brutal, with Manson dominating most of the way, but Wildchild turned the tables when he countered the Consequences, turning it into a sick Hangman’s neckbreaker! Dub Cee put the match away with the Wild Ride. - Jamie Drazon beat Chance Silver in 4:55 with the Demolition Dreams. - SWF World Heavyweight Champion Sacred beat Mak Francis in 17:08 in a non-title match, when he hit the Cruel Fate. Lockdown: - Munich told the referee that Max King used brass knuckles on him, and demanded that he check King out. The referee stopped King before he could get to the back, and ordered him to return to the ring, but King got into a scuffle with Munich as soon as he returned to the ring, and the referee got in between them, allowing Kelly to re-locate the brass knuckles in the confusion, so King still got off scott-free! - Carnage apparently proposing to Candace Okimurra in the middle of the ring may be the damndest thing I’ve ever seen on a wrestling show! I couldn’t hear what Candace said to Carnage, but the big fella didn’t look very happy, whatever it was… so I’m leaning towards ‘no.’ - And the slump continues for Austin Sly… on the other hand, though, Stryke was looking very crisp for someone who hasn’t been on TV in months. I’m not sure how good a chance he has of winning the ‘Fuck, but he definitely looked ready for it. - And another win by Johnny Dangerous to stay undefeated since his return, and it’s a testament to how great this show was for this to be the third-best match on the show; at any other event, this could have been a main event, and a hands down MOTN! I’ve got to give it up to Spike Jenkins, though: he’s got more heart than I ever gave him credit for, and this match could have gone either way. - Cortez should be shot for what he did to Dace coming off that cage, and that Super Inverted Atomic Drop; you just don’t do that to another man… But, did Dace ever get him back! I can’t believe that they were allowed to show that match uncensored on television. - After the cage match, there was a brief intermission while the ring crew took the cage down. Funyon got on the microphone and announced the upcoming show dates, and then reminded fans to check their local listings for this week’s episode of Wrath. Then they had a Divas match while they were waiting for the fans to get back to their seats, which saw Jet beat Kelly Connelly by count-out in a non-title match at about 2:35. - Maddix got a big-time win over Sean Davis in a GREAT match, and that Land of Nod is developing into a legitimate death move; you don’t see many people get out of that these days. Now, if Landon can get a rematch against Sacred, he’ll have a clean sweep of Rev-0! Biggest Pops 1) Landon Maddix 2) Dace Night 3) Johnny Dangerous 4) Todd Cortez 5) Carnage Most Heat 1) Sean Davis 2) Max King 3) Spike Jenkins 4) Stryke 5) Danny Dagda

"Aijuswanaseing," by Musiq Soulchild

Well, that's because you're not a cheap imitation of Toxxic; you're more like a cheap imitation of me...

No surprise; Krause leaves, and suddenly the Bulls are likeable again...

[Kelso] BURN~! [/Kelso]

:: shrugs :: Whatever, Spike; if you're a big enough shithead to dump the Cruiserweight Title in the trash just to get rid of me, then do what you gotta do.

Toxxic, I don't have any interest in the Main Event. The only reason that I'm not competing in the Cruiserweight Division is because I don't have time to write singles matches right now, so I'm sticking to the Tag Team division, where I can split writing duties with Johnny. If I had time to write for singles, I would absolutely be challenging for the World Cruiserweight Championship, as I have repeatedly stated that it's the only singles title that I care about, and I haven't changed my mind. If this ever happens, I'm outta here.

I kinda like Megyn Price.

If they put him on RAW, it could be the best thing that ever happened to WWE, at least in an unintentional comedy sort of way...

To answer the original question, I don't go to the main site at all; my bookmark takes me directly here. I think I may have read two columns in the three years I've been here. In fact, considering my rapidly declining interest in wrestling, and the fact that, no offense, I generally get better "pop culture" conversation (from people that are actually in my age group) elsewhere, pretty much the only reason I come to this site anymore is for the SWF, and the occasional forays into Sports and General Wrestling to reminisce about old school. Don't imagine I'd have much reason to stick around if you removed wrestling entirely, certainly not if you decided to remove the e-feds. Of course, I was never really a "major" contributor around here to begin with, so it's entirely possible that you don't even care...

Hey! You watch your damned mouth!

CURTAIN JERKING WITH AGENT 27 AND THE ICONIC ONE! Munich vs “The Icon” Max King - King HARDCORE MATCH! Carnage vs Danny Dagda - Carnage SLY DEALINGS WITH STRYKE! Stryke vs Austin Sly - Sly TRIPLE THREAT DAY OF DEFEAT MATCH! Hollywood Spike Jenkins vs Johnny Dangerous vs Alan Clark - Fuck it, I'll pick Johnny; frankly, I don't know why everybody else seems to think that a guy who's 5-0 since his return (and a former World Champion, to boot), doesn't have a chance to win. RUMBLE IN THE PIT! "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez vs Dace Night - Everybody marks for Horrorcore... INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP! UNITED STATES/JUNIOR LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP! TITLE FOR TITLE! Landon Maddix © (ICTV Champ) vs Sean Davis © (USJL Champ) - Both very good. Both very consistent. But Maddix will Cheat to Win~!