Mr. S£im Citrus

Hot damn, that's a stacked card! This could be the best show in a long time!

I'm not sure how you can say that we "went through the motions" or wrote a "W&D match," seeing as how we bascially wrote ourselves to be heels, which we've never done before. Between that and the fact that we provided charcter development by advancing the Johnny situation, I really don't know where you're getting that from. I'll grant that what we wrote wasn't perfect, and was far from our best work, but it was hardly the "same old W&D." Anyway, to rest of the show: Introducing: the littlest guy... ever! And I mean that; I mean, a hundred forty? Even Drea weighed more than that! Solid debut match for Lord David; the pacing was abrupt, but that tends to happen with lower word limits, so that's no pobo. I thought the selling was fine, and did a pretty good job of establishing the character's resilience. I haven't seen his stats yet, so I don't know how strong he's supposed to be, but I balked a little at seeing a hundred-forty pounder win with a move like that. I'm sure that if he's given opportunity to get the move over, however, it'll be all good. And one more thing: I thought that "Word Up" was sung by Cameo? Painfullly abrupt W&D promo I don't comment on my own stuff; it was meant to advance the angle, so I hope it worked. Koran/Sly - not available for comment WC says stuff Again, I don't comment on my own stuff. Archie Griffon says stuff Archie feels good about his tag match tonight; indicates he thinks that he and Manson are a cohesive unit. The next challengers for the Tag Titles? Who knows? Oh yeah... and he's gonna kick Koran's ass. A wee bit violent is this one... Revolution Zero/Griffon & Manson - not available for comment W&D retain against Martial Law And the policy of not commenting on my own stuff continues; but sorry we couldn't make you fellas happy and job ourselves out for you... Toxxic says stuff Ben "Black and Decker" Hardy asks the World Heavyweight Champion for his candid thoughts on the main event, and he expresses his personal bias; he wants Spike, and there's nothing wrong with that. Toxxic is all about the teacher versus student action, and points out that Spike didn't reach his potential until the Champ took him under his wing. :: wonders idly if Toxxic should put spinners on the Heavyweight Title :: And the Number One Contendership goes to... Idle thought #2: Between WC and Mak, the SWF has two of the "unblackest" black men in all of professional wrestling; I mean, what brother wears Oakleys? AND wears a trench coat? Idle thought #3: I was in the fed for over a year before I realized that Francis was black... Nice fast-paced start to the match; even though I'd personally prefer to see guys in my weight class stay in the Cruiserweight Division (just so I'd have more guys to write against), I'm glad that we've got guys that can go in the upper midcard, and not some of the moribound hosses we had before (no offense, guys). Mak makes Spike sing soprano and busts the Franchise Tag on him for pin #1. I'm not really sure what this means: But psychology = goodness, so I guess it's okay. Mak hooks on the Cattle Mutilation, but Spike counters into a Dragon Sleeper, and I'm really missing Fugue right about now. Idle thought #4: I still think that WC/Fugue would have been a money fued in the JL, if me and Ejiro hadn't taken over; for that matter, I wanted to do a JL Title feud with Spike, and if I hadn't gotten bumped after MiW, I would have. I consider them both to be wasted opportunities... Third fall opens up with Mak bailing out to the floor to wake back up, and Spike gives chase. Jenkins whiffs on the Yakuza outside, and Mak gets all kinds of mean with the multiple shin breaker... that's just uncouth, man... Hot flash pin sequence near the end, Spike goes for the Ratings Grabber, but Mak gets free and goes all Benoit mixed with Taz... for TWOOOO! Mak hoists Spike onto the top turnbuckle, but... RATINGS CRASH! Both men fight their way back to their feet, and go for Yakuza Kicks at the same time, but Mak gets the better of it, and comes away with the win! I'll do a HOLT report once all the matches have been edited in.

Well, you can always do what you did on Lockdown, if it comes to that... Shame that someone's going to get rewarded with a title shot on PPV after no-showing the #1 Contender match, if that's what actually happened. Or, we could always have Toxxic vs. Li'l Buck; there be ratings, I tells ya!

Wait... did I make a joke? :: dies of shock ::

:: fears Diego Sanchez :: That's one bad mother...

I thought Mak was in Martial Law?

In the interest of practicing what I preach... I can't imagine that Ejiro's sponsor would be Judge, and Fugue has sort of become the new-age Cutthroat, so I'm guessing that it's somebody old-school that retired before I showed up, like Wilson maybe. Still, I dig the way the promo plays on the insecurity that characterized Ejiro's entire first run in the fed, and how he seems to be exploiting it to give depth to his "rehabilitation." Continuity = (Y)

Roger that, Tom; consider your advice taken on board. I will endeavor to practice what I preach. Can't make any promises about lightening up, though; I'm too old and set in my ways, and my sense of humor is... different from most of the rest of you guys. That, and old people tend to be touchy; ask Mark if you don't believe me...

Tom, I think that there's a big difference between not posting a response, and using the thread as a license to "free post," as it were. And, lest it be forgotten, I don't exactly get to come to the board every day while I'm underway. I'd venture to say that, among the promos that I do get a chance to read, I post on-topic as often, if not moreso, than anyone else.

.... And all this time, I thought that Community/General was the appropriate place for chat/joke threads... What happened to promos as a means of advancing angles?

Does anyone ever read promos and actually comment on the promos anymore?

No love for Bad News? I mean, maybe it's just me, but I think that Bad News Brown was over enough in late '88/early '89 that he could have gotten a short run. And wasn't there a rumor going around that Bad News/Hogan was originally the planned main event for WMV?

South Park? Uh, no; can't say that I have.

Well, when there are only five heels booked for the show, and three of them are in R-0, and the other two are in a tag match, it's kind of hard not to have R-0 monopolize the "heat" list...

SWF Lockdown HOLT report April 13, 2005 Denver, Colorado, at Pepsi Center Report by Kirk Schultz of Denver, Colorado, Smartmarks.com reader Dark Match: - Martin Hunt beat Cutthroat with Sweet Southern Comfort. Grand Slam Tapings: - Alan Clark beat JT Playa in 1:56 with the Aftershock. - They showed highlights of Storm where JJ Johnson was introduced into Revolution Zero. They then showed a video on the SmarkTron of all the different members of R-0, and presumably, the announcers were talking about all the change that R-0 has gone through in the past few months. - Ebony and Chance Silver ended in a no-contest when John Duran came down to the ring and annihilated both of them with a steel chair. - Dace Night beat Perfect Bo in 7:20 with a Northern Lights Suplex. - There was a second highlights package shown from Storm, where Jay Hawke turned on Johnny Dangerous in the “2-on-2” match. Afterwards, they showed some clips from recent weeks where there have appeared to be tension between Wild and Dangerous. - Toxxic beat Mak Francis in 14:09 in a non-title match with Intoxxication. Lockdown: - Nazeer got a hold of a microphone after the match and was all over Austin Sly as Sly was trying to return to the back, calling him incompetent and him for costing Koran the match. He continued berating him until Sly went back into the ring and started throttling him, but Koran came to Nazeer’s aid, nailing Sly from behind, and knocking him down. Koran and Nazeer then left the ring before Sly could mount a comeback. - We don’t get many “Gangstas” around here, but I like Buck’s energy. He got the crowd behind him, which isn’t easy to do in a place as “white bread” as Denver. That Buck-Wild Ride is sick, too, although I think that Dub Cee should sue for copyright infringement. - Funyon came down to the ring and announced that, due to a stomach virus, Todd Cortez was unable to compete tonight, and that the match between Johnny Dangerous and Todd Cortez had been cancelled. Johnny came down to the ring and said that he didn’t want to disappoint his fans by not competing in the ring, issuing an open challenge to anyone backstage who wanted to face him. Much to the surprise of many, John Duran came down to the ring! Duran, still hyped up from his beatdown at the Grand Slam tapings, started off great against Johnny, but the Barracuda was able to turn it around, and knocked Duran out of the ring with a Johnny Kick! Instead of getting back in the ring, Duran just went to the back, giving Johnny a count-out win. - Ejiro got a much bigger round of applause after the match than I would have expected; it looks like some of the fans are starting to come around; of course, I’ve been an Ejiro mark for a long time, so I’ve got a nice seat on the bandwagon. Biggest Pops 1) Landon Maddix 2) Wildchild 3) Manson/Archie Griffon 4) Li’l Buck 5) Ejiro Fasaki Most Heat 1) Scott Pretzler 2) JJ Johnson 3) Toxxic 4) Mohammed Koran/Austin Sly 5) John Duran

Uhm, wasn't there supposed to be another match after mine? More detailed comments and/or HOLT report to come later, after I get some sleep.

GODDAMMIT!!! Fuck the WWE!

Nah, Ejiro, bad parallel; Landon's record against Sacred is more like my record against Danny. I've actually beaten you.

All this because I called you Sacred's bitch, huh? How is the record against Sacred these days, by the way?

Yeah, but we like to call him Thugg...

I don't dispute that on any level, Zed; I'm not qualified to speak on Fallout's greatness, anyway, or the merit of his title reign. I'm just saying that a comment that amounts to saying that none of the current writers deserve to break his record is a little disrespectful to the guys that are here right now. Most records eventually fall; I'll bet that there were people who didn't think that anyone was worthy of breaking Edwin's ICTV reign, but Flesher broke it anyway. And I'll bet that some people felt that his record should stand, but that didn't stop Mak from breaking it... which in turn was broken by Grappler, which was, in turn, broken by Maddix. I'd guess that, for the most part, people who were around when records are set are reluctant to see those records broken, in part because it can be interpreted as a tarnishing of the legacy, but that shouldn't speak to the worthiness of the person who breaks the record.

Yeah, that's not a "fuck you" to the active roster, or anything; no disrespect to Fallout, but what's up with that, Sacred? We not worthy, or something?

Well, I thought I did, Drea, but apparently not...

I'm sure I'm going to regret asking, but why coconuts?

It was in character; the HOLT Report is always in character. EDIT - And by "in character," I mean the mark writing the report. And, as a heads up to any new guys, I initially began writing these to advance a storyline that set up the main event at A2A '03. So, I'm all about pumping up any angles you want to develop in here; just send me a PM if there's anything you want me to put in the HOLT, and it'll get in.