Mr. S£im Citrus

Well, you did beat Toxxic... It was you or Dace, and Dace didn't really do anything of import on the show.

Hey, wait a second; how did this promo get overlooked? So, does this mean the end of Candace the character? Is she moving on without Frisco, or is Frisco moving on without her? Or, is this the weirdest retirement promo ever?

Remember that secret agent guy I team with that you and Jay Dawg jobbed to in your next-to-last match on record? Yeah, he's the champ... I'm serious; he really is. - Dub "stop looking at me like that; he's really the champ" Cee

Is it my imagination, or did Russia's wrestler look Chinese?

SWF Storm HOLT report August 20, 2004 San Antonio, Texas at Alamodome Report by Sean Castillo of Amarillo, TX, Smartmarks.com reader Dark Matches: Syndicate defeated Viktor Tarakanov by disqualification in 3:32 when Tarakanov hit him with a steel chair. The Wayward Sons (Alan Clark & Ced Ordonez) beat Déjà Vu in 5:18 when Clark pinned Kris following a double missile dropkick. Ace Lezaire pinned Ryan Dustin in 4:56 following the ACE Crusher. Edward James pinned Chance Silver in 2:41 with the Dominator. IGNJL Eastern United States Champion and Petey the Irish Penguin wrestled to a 15-minute time-limit draw. “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins beat USJL Champion Vladimir Everheart by count-out in 7:55 when Jet kept him from returning to the ring. Storm: - Toxxic continued to taunt Judge and Bowers as they went back up the ramp, saying that they should be thanking him for allowing them to walk out of the ring. You could see that Bowers was chomping at the bit to get back in there and fight, but Judge kept him from getting himself hurt. - Birdman was celebrating on the ropes after his victory, when Duran pulled him off and started beating on him. He took off his shirt and started to choking him out with it, but when he went outside the ring to get a chair, Birdman turned the tables on him, superkicking the chair into his face and dropkicking him out of the ring! Funyon then got into the ring to announce the paid attendance and to tell the crowd when the SWF was coming back to San Antonio. I’m guessing that this was done to give Birdman enough time to get backstage and set up for his backstage skit. - Manson and Drazon were about to come to blows after the four-way. They were chest-to-chest spewing obscenities at each other, each blaming the other for Max King being able to pull off the win, but Drea managed to calm the two down with promises of bacon sandwiches. - It was good to see David Cross get out of his slump; the guy tries hard, and he needed a quality win to get himself back on track. Sly, on the other hand, has been in a hell of a slump since losing the Cruiserweight Title. Plus, I could help but notice that NTD had a few choice words for him after the match; I don’t think that he’s too crazy about the direction Sly appears to be trying to go in right now. - After the Davis/Night match, they showed a video vignette teasing the return of Perfect Bo. Man, the last time I saw him, he and Jay Dawg were jobbing to a then-unproven Wild and Dangerous. I wonder how much he’s got left in the tank? Mak Francis then came down to host the Countdown to Genesis giveaway. He was in a sharp-looking suit, but I’d sure rather see him back in the ring; he’s too young for his career to be over. - It’s hard to gauge the reaction after the Van Siclen/Masked Man match, but I’ll tell you one thing: Revolution Zero make it easy to cheer for anybody against them… - I can’t wait for someone to take the Cruiserweight Title off of Flesher; I mean, everybody and there brother knows that he’s probably the best mat wrestler in the world, but he’s such an insufferable dick, you’d even be happy to see Cutthroat win the belt off of him… well, maybe not Cutthroat… - Oh my God! I can’t believe that Johnny actually beat Toxxic! I don’t even think HE believed it until Hebner handed him the title; hell, he might have been the most surprised man in the whole building, and that’s saying something! It was so sweet to see Toxxic finally get what was coming to him! All the faces came back down to ringside to help him celebrate; it was fucking insane! Biggest Pops 1) Johnny Dangerous 2) Dace Night 3) Judge Mental 4) The Masked Man 5) Andrea Montgomery Most Heat 1) Toxxic 2) Tom Flesher 3) Mike Van Siclen 4) Landon Maddix 5) John Duran

Kings: Jim Jackson Jason Williams Vlade Divac Corliss Williamson Gerald Wallace Hedo Turkoglu Honorable Mention to Tony "Buckets" Delk, the only bench player ever to score fifty points in a game (of course, he did it against the Kings, but we won that game, so... yeah).

Isn't that what ESPN Classic is for?

You're right, Show; I probably shouldn't let Spike get to me. I wasn't really arguing with Toxxic (in fact, for the most part, I agree with him), aside from us disagreeing on how hardline the issue of "never no-sell" should be. Spike, on the other hand, appears to be trying to pick a fight with me, but I should know better; no excuses. And it was a damned good show, too. I'll try to get the HOLT up sometime today; right now, I'm taking my time to savor all the matches/promos and grok them in fullness. - Dub "mea culpa" Cee

I understand the concept of a "finisher," thank you. I still maintain that anybody good enough to be a World Heavyweight Champion ought to be able to kick out of something.

Not when the reigning champion is me, and not when it explicitly states in the reigning champion's stats that he CANNOT kick out of a finisher. No-selling is fine and dandy for those as want it, but Toxxic is a 218lb wrestler with Vitality 4. He's not going to kick out of the MI Slam, let alone kip up straight after it. i don't care about adrenaline or anything else - HE IS NOT THAT TOUGH. Rant over. Hrmm... so Toxxic's a character that's too fast to get hit, but can't take a lick when he gets caught... That's eerily similar to the way that I originally wrote WC, and I took so much grief over it that I changed my stats to make him more resilient; I guess people have learned to adjust to people's stats better since then... Anyway, good to know; I agree that people should respect their opponent's stats, but I guess I just don't agree that having the reigning World Heavyweight Champion no-selling a finisher like the MI Slam, which is one of the weaker finishers in the entire fed (no offense, Johnny) is as major an offense as you seem to think it is, even if it does say "cannot kick out of finishers" in your stats. Of course, it is your character, and it's really not my place to tell you how your character's stats should be interpreted, but I don't personally consider the World Champion no-selling a finisher to be as big a deal as a midcarder no-selling one. - Dub "you're right about the kip-up, though; that was a bit much" Cee

Sorry to see you go, lad; hope you can come back for G5, at least...

Aw, c'mon Toxxic; don't you think that the reigning champion should be entitiled to no-sell at least once?

Oh yeah, by the way: Calm down, chief; Taamo's nowhere near to Fallout's record. He's not even anywhere near Johnny's record; he's barely a fifth of the way there.

A likely story...

Duly noted.

Edited because somebody fucked up and, for a change, it wasn't me! ICTV TITLE MATCH Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix© vs “The Icon” Max King - Remember that stuff about putting Max King over? I lied... Maddix to retain, and then challenge Johnny for the World Title... I'm getting a Warrior/Rude '90 vibe all over again... WORLD TITLE CONTENDERSHIP Dace Night vs Jamie Drazon - The Wild and Dangerous Nights are dead and buried, but I still got love for my man Dace! TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH Hollywood Boulevard (Mike Van Siclen & "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez) © vs Revolution Zero ("Hollywood" Spike Jenkins & Sean Davis) - Champs to retain; their storyline is just too good right now. SINGLES MATCH Toxxic vs Justin Bowers - I'm predicting some righteous interference by Judge Mental to backfire. Judgums will get his payback, though... Just not on Lockdown... USJL TITLE MATCH David Cross vs "The Corona" Vladimir Everheart - It's all about them kooky foreigners SUBMISSIONS “EGO” MATCH “The Notorious” John Duran vs “The Superior One” Tom Flesher. - Taamo, even though I'm still miffed about using my title as a salsa cup. SINGLES MATCH “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens vs Ace Lezaire - :: CRACK! :: CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH The Birdman vs Ryan Dustin - Okay... I'm still picking Birdman TAG MATCH Nathan Xavier & Manson vs The Masked Man & Munich - And, I'll stick with my original pick for this match, too. SINGLES MATCH Candace vs Petey the Irish Penguin - Candace needs a win to get back on track, and Petey's only 35-65 to show, anyway. HARDCORE MATCH Bryan Levy vs Ced Ordonez

And the aborted dark match angle comes full circle...

I love you, too, Thoth.

Ho. Lee. SHIT! [smokey] That's my DAWG! That's my DAWG! [/smokey] Oh, and Spike, kiss my ass. - Dub Cee

For the sake of expediency, I will now summarize the main event: There was a match, and somebody won. The End.

No.

And as far as that "SWF Legend" gaff is concerned, I meant to look up whatever retiree was supposed to live closest to Phoenix, and put his name there, but I forgot. So, uhm, use your imagination or something. - Dub "for the record, I think it's Falllout, but I'm not sure" Cee

Nothing wrong with a manager pulling double duty, is there?

Grand Slam is thirty-one. Wow, you're almost a year older than I am... that makes me feel a little better...