It's not so much that you drive a minivan, it's more about the degree to which it fits you perfectly. I'll bet it has old-ass bumper stickers on it too. I'm also guessing it's green, but I'm less sure about that than the bumper stickers.
No, it's red and has no bumper stickers, unfortunately. It's my parents' old '91 Plymouth Voyager that has become mine to use whenever I'm at home or whatever and need a car. It's really ugly and is in the late stages of death.